I was on my knees, staring at the sexiest ass I’d ever seen, and lucky me, it belonged to my wife. She fusses that her ass is too big, but I like a handful. Actually, her ass and tits are two handfuls. 

As always, I paused to admire what I was about to fuck. I was a man who appreciated what I had, and I had a beautiful wife, inside and out. 

Inching closer, I ran my hands over her soft, fleshy bottom before spreading her cheeks. The wetness between her legs supplied the only lube I ever needed, so I slid my cock up and down her slit, making sure the tip was coated. I’d like to say what happened next was unintended, but… 

“Ow!” She abruptly pulled away from me. “Wrong hole!”

She rolled to sit on her gorgeous ass, then buried me with her blackening eyeballs. Damn, she was even sexier when mad, but probably the wrong time to tell her. Instead, as convincingly as possible, I replied, “Jesus, it was an accident.”

“Robert Devon Davis, don’t you lie to me!”

Ouch. She used my full name, so I better come clean. “Okay, okay. I admit it. I can tell your asshole from your pussy. It’s just…”

“Just what?” She rose to her knees, facing me and scaring me a little with her evil-looking eyeballs. 

“Well…” I started, then stopped to collect my thoughts, a chore at times like this. “We know I’m a confident alpha male badass, right? And this is possibly going to sound a little insecure.”

“Go on,“ she said, doing her famous eye roll/head shake combo, “your caveman persona will remain intact.”

“Well, you weren’t a virgin when I met you. Someone else got to experience that with you.” I paused. Just tell her already. “But no one has taken your ass before. I’d be the first, and we don’t have to do it again if you don’t like it, but it would be something you had only shared with me.”

Her eyes widened, and I never knew whether that was good or bad. 

Then, she spoke in a softer voice, “Aww, hun. Weirdly, that’s kinda sweet.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “And I have an idea.”

Oh no. I’m a little worried as some of her ideas don’t work well for me.

“You let me take your ass; then I’ll give you mine,” she said, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. 

No! No! No! 

“Why on earth would you want to do that?”

“Well, you need to feel what you asked me to subject myself to. I think it will hurt, so you need to feel it first. Only fair, right?”

“Sweetheart, I would never hurt you. I’ve asked Mr. Google, and plenty of women like it.”

“You’re making decisions about our sex life based on what Mr. Google says?” she asked with her second eye roll/head shake combo of the night. 

“Well, when you say it like that…”

She folded her arms, covering up her deliciously suckable nipples. “Those are my terms. So, do you wanna fuck my ass or not?”

With my ass cheeks suddenly clenched in a vice grip, I muttered, “Okay.” It didn’t help that she rolled over onto her tummy, so the sexiest ass I’d ever seen was taunting me. “But how many thrusts do I have to take? I mean, I’m never going to cum like that, so there has to be a predetermined end.”

“Well, how about—”

“One.” I jumped in ahead of her. 

“Twenty.”

“Three.”

“Eighteen,” she pursed her lips, playing hardball. 

“Ten.”

“Deal!” She beamed, obviously pleased.

“No, wait, I meant four.”

“Nope, I already agreed. Ten it is!” She cocked an eyebrow. “You can surely take ten thrusts, right, babe?”

I see what you’re doing.

Knowing I had no comeback, I moved on. “But I get to pick out the dildo. There’ll be none of that eleven-inch stuff fucking my asshole.”

“Well, I guess it needs to be the same size as yours. That’s only fair.”

“Hmmm, I’m pretty big.” Okay, I’m average. “Agreed. I’ll take a monster dick like mine.”

And with that, she popped up on her knees, “Now, fuck me already!”

I looked down at my snoring dick dangling against my thigh. “I can't now. Look what all this pegging talk has done to my cock?”

She smiled, rolled onto her back, lifted her shapely legs in the air, and spread them. “I guess I’ll just fuck myself then.”

So I watched as a slender finger unstuck her lips and then disappeared. Damn. Her pussy did resemble a beautiful flower with petals unfolding, just like those mushy poets ramble on about. And that’s all it took for little Robbie to spring back to life. 

“On your knees, woman!” 

This time, my eager cock found the right hole first try and fucked her like a crazed animal, delivering a few hard slaps on her bottom for coming up with this ass-for-an-ass deal. 

◇◇◇

The next day, I drove my wife and me to the toy store. She suggested the trip, and in my childlike excitement, I didn’t think to question it. 

“This was a great idea, babe. I could use a new paddle for your naughty behind.” I gave her a little smack. 

“That’s not why we’re here.”

“Then why… oh, wait.” I stopped dead in my tracks with her still tugging on my arm. I figured it out a little too late. 

“Rob, what’s the issue?”

“I’m not going in. Someone we know might come in, and I don’t want anyone to see us with that strap-on thing.”

“No one who’d care would be in there. Now come on because I need you with me to measure.”

“Measure?”

She opened the door, “Your cock, honey,” then dragged me through the door. 

A young guy behind the counter greeted us, looking me up and down with a smile like he wanted to eat me. Me, not my wife! “Welcome to Hustler Hollywood. Need any help?”

I replied, not making eye contact with my would-be stalker, “No, thanks,” while Lily said, “Where are the strap-ons?”

Kill me. 

Lily dragged me in the direction of his pointing finger, and once in the right aisle, I pretended to look at magazines on the adjacent wall. 

“Just grab one, and let’s go,” I mumbled.

She responded by walking over and grabbing my junk through my shorts. 

“Hey!”

“I need to measure. Hold still.”

She got a handful and started to jack me.

“You can’t do that here,” I fussed, pushing her hand away.

“Hun, I need you hard to find the same size dildo. Now, hold still.”

I stretched my neck to watch for approaching shoppers while she stiffened me up, and then she hurried away to bring back a few dildos to compare alongside my hard-on. The first had me yelling, “Aw, hell no!” Then, we settled on a six-inch that looked about the same size. Okay, it was bigger than mine, but close enough. I had some pride, and I wouldn’t let the dude at the checkout see anything smaller. 

I tried to situate my hard-on comfortably in my shorts, and on my walk of shame to the front of the store, I bent to whisper, “You’re going to relieve me of this discomfort once we get in the car, girly.”

Her fingers tightened in my hand, silently agreeing. 

Once we checked out, it was my time to tug on her hand to hurry to the car. I moved the car to behind the building, then tossed my wife in the back seat. Climbing in after her, I promised, “Oh, you’re gonna pay for giving me this woody in the store, sweetheart.”

Her eyes sparkled as she spread her legs. “Bring it, big boy.”

Have I mentioned how sexy she is? I shut the door, bunched her sundress around her waist, ripped that flimsy thong off, and plunged inside her. 

“Ahhh!” I couldn’t help the exclamation My cock was particularly hard (nothing to do with that strap-on shopping, I assure you), and her pussy felt particularly warm and inviting. She wrapped her legs around me, and I set our car a-rockin’. Despite the uncomfortably surroundings and oncoming headache from banging the top of my head against the door more than once, we both came hard, seeing fireworks in that old car.

◇◇◇

Later that night… 

“Rob, your knuckles are white from gripping the headboard so hard. Are you nervous?”

“Who me? No, just wanting something to hold on to.”

“I can’t see what I’m doing with you upright. Scooch back and get on your hands and knees. You know, like I do for you.”

I got into this foreign position and peeked under my arm to watch her and her not-so-little cock coming to take my ass.

My cock stiffened. Whoa, buddy, what’re you doing? This is nothing to get excited about. 

My big head caught up to my little head, and I couldn’t help but think Lily looked hot. Her tiny hand was waving her cock around. Her cock. I never thought I’d say those words. And the cock looked way bigger than six inches extended out from her petite frame. 

I turned back to face the headboard, trying to clear my head when the mattress depressed. She was on the bed and coming for me. 

She started by massaging my ass muscles and upper thighs, which helped me relax. That was nice. Then, I heard the squirt of lube and immediately clenched my cheeks, undoing the effects of her tender touches. 

“Are you ready, hun? I promise I’ll go slow.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me, and her cock banged against my crack. 

I managed a smile over my shoulder. “I’m ready. Just do it, baby.”

Her hands spread my cheeks, and the dildo’s tip fumbled around my hole before pressing inside. 

It burns! Jesus, save me! 

I sharply inhaled, and she quickly checked, “Babe, you alright? Want me to stop?”

Don’t be a pussy! 

“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just hold your position for a minute,” I replied, stifling the high-pitched squeak rising to my mouth. 

She didn’t hold still, though. Instead, she wiggled it around a little. Not quite withdrawing, but moving ever-so-slightly in and out, until…

Jesus! Is my asshole going to burst?

She withdrew, then pushed back in.

“One.” The number spurt from my mouth.

She thrust again and again and again in quick succession. 

“Two.

“Three.

“Oh God, four.”

My legs shook. I snuck another peek at my wife, looking way too sexy with her new cock. Her eyes were closed, lips parted, face and breast flushed. Oh my God, she’s getting aroused!

She paused and wiggled her cock around inside again. Then it happened…

Her cock touched something that felt good. Like really good. 

“Right there doesn’t feel too awful.” 

Her hand patted my ass. “Okay, I got you. I’m going to thrust again. You keeping count?”

“Um… sure.” 

She pushed inside, stroking her cock against that hot spot again. Sweet Jesus! And again. And again. Not sure at which thrust I lost count, and a voice that sounded an awful lot like mine yelled, “Don’t stop! Fuck me harder!”

I chewed my pillow, not wanting to scream like a girl, but damn, it felt good. 

I don’t know how long my wife fucked me before my insides reached a boiling point. Grabbing my cock, I gave it a squeeze and erupted all over the bedcovers. I was a grunting, sputtering mess of a man who finally collapsed in my spunk. 

Honestly, I missed her cock as soon as it withdrew but could only utter, “Thank you,” to my sexy six-inch-sword-wielding wife. 

Her long fingernails gently raked up and down my back, and I pictured her smirking when she asked, “So you wanna fuck my ass now?” as I slipped into my orgasm-induced coma. 

That would have to be a story for another day…