Journal #32

Sunday, December 15th

I can’t believe I’ve written thirty-one journals already. With all the stresses and anxieties of life in college, it has been a good release, to get it all of out of my mind and onto paper. I hate to admit it, but mom was right. Writing everything down has really helped me to keep my bearings this year. I find I am much calmer and I am much, much more organized. I now take the time to think things through and I’ve resolved many problems just by writing things down clearly and then reflecting on them.

Starting college last year, Bobby being deployed, and hearing about my parents divorce…it was all too much and I needed to have an outlet. Sigh. I miss the days when I would smoke a bowl…or five, and do absolutely nothing all day, but in the big picture, weed was just making it all worse. I was getting further away from my goals, not closer to them.

Now I feel like I have much more balance in my life. I’m really starting to work through frustrating situations and I have more peace of mind. I hate to admit it, and I won’t admit it to her but it has really helped.

It has also improved my writing. I’m doing much better in my creative writing and journalism classes. Practice makes perfect and writing every day in a journal is just another way to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

And mom was right about keeping all of these thoughts off of my laptop. I was already nervous enough when Jeff went through my laptop. If he had found out everything I had written in my journals…I don’t even want to think about what would have happened. It was bad enough at the end and he just would have been worse. I’m SO glad everyone helped me get away from him. That night is still the scariest of my life.

Enough of that, Winter Break starts tomorrow! Amber and I are going to start driving home tomorrow morning. Mom wanted us to fly but there was no way we could scrape together enough money for the airline tickets. Hopefully we will just have enough gas money! I asked Asami to double check her calculations and she believes we should be able to make it with gas to spare. I should really get better at math. I’m ashamed I have to keep asking the Asian girls on my floor to double check all my calculations. It feels like I’m perpetuating a stereotype. Oh well, for now I’ll have to keep asking Asami. At least I can help her with studying for her art history class.

It feels like I will be perpetually broke. I know that won’t be the case but it definitely feels like it. All these student loans with all this crazy debt. I can’t wait to graduate to make some decent money.

At least it is only a fourteen hour drive. Once we get on the freeway we can just drive straight through, taking turns when we get tired. I always have fun with Amber so I am really, really looking forward to this trip. We are planning on leaving at 7 am tomorrow. I should be able to see mom by tomorrow evening! Mom is going to let us stay in Bobby’s room, considering she turned mine into a workout room. Gee, thanks mom!

Packed:
- Clothes
- Whatever snacks we had left
- Present for mom.

Need to get:
- Batteries (AA)
- Bottled Water

***

Monday, December 16th

10:12 am

Well this trip did NOT start off as I had planned. Amber didn’t tell me anything about bringing her friend Tony. I can’t believe she invited him on our trip. I can’t believe she invited him to my moms house without even asking! I know it is her car and she can ask whoever she wants but Mom is going to flip her shit and I will have to be the one to try and explain it all.

I love her but she is so gullible. That stupid story he told us about having no one to go home to over the holidays was obviously bullshit. He clearly just wants to bang her and she is so desperate and stupid that she will let him. Whatever, they are both losers.

I work up early at 5:00 am, threw my hair in a ponytail and put on a hat, packed the rest of my stuff, and ran out the door. I didn’t even put on makeup because we were just going to be on the road all day. I go out and stand outside in the cold...for NOTHING. We were supposed to leave at 7:00 am, but instead we left almost at 10:00 am

When they did show up, Amber was looking pretty with her makeup perfect and her hair done and her boobs hanging out of her shirt. Then she begged me to sit in the back seat! The two of them are currently in the front seats, just babbling away and talking about all their vapid interests. If I hear him say, “I love that too!” one more time, I may kill him. It is so obvious that he just wants to get into her pants. Really, buddy? You really like the same brand of mascara that she is wearing? Whatever! You probably don’t even know what a girl uses mascara for you blithering nitwit.

Sigh. At least I will get to see my mom tonight. I will just stay focused on that. It will make the ride in this torture chamber a little more bearable.

***

2:45 pm

At least Tony is good for one thing…cash. We were all getting hungry and I started to get some snacks ready but he insisted on buying us lunch. We found some diner on the side of the road and he let Amber and I order whatever we wanted. After lunch, he insisted on us driving to the gas station and he paid to fill up the tank and drive for a few hours. He may be annoying but at least he is paying his fair share.

We actually had a decent conversation at lunch. I appreciate that he chipped in but it did put us behind another two hours.

It’s also nice that we don’t have to stress about making it to mom’s on gas fumes. I’m really confident we will get to mom’s now. I’ll have to apologize to Asami when we get back. I bugged her for weeks to make all those calculations and then we didn’t even need it.

It has been comical to watch Amber and Tony. I love Amber but she is just so dumb and dingy. I don’t think Tony really knew what he was getting into. I’ve watched her flirt with him over the past few weeks and he obviously loves the attention but I don’t think they’ve had a real conversation. It was always a wave, a brief “Hello”, or she would shake her ass to get his attention. I’m sure he agreed to come on this trip just to get his hands on her 36 DD’s, but he didn’t take into consideration that he would confined space with her stupidity for fourteen straight hours.

She is definitely a dingy brunette. I was proud of Tony for letting her win the argument that kilometers are longer than a miles because “her speedometer has higher numbers for kilometers than miles”. I did notice him cringe when she became incensed that the waitress would offer her bacon bits for her salad because she didn’t tolerate the slaughter of baby pigs. Instead she had demanded the waitress bring her regular sized bacon and she would break that up herself. But I definitely saw his sex drive switch to OFF when she told him that Nelson Mandela was a great actor. He just stared at her like he was expecting her to let out a punch line, but then he realized she was being serious. He looked at me and I just smiled as wide as I could. He slumped down in his seat, realizing he had made a terrible mistake.

I hope her vagina is magical, Tony. It is the only thing that is going to make the torture tolerable.

While watching these two has been comical, I’m still really annoyed how far behind we are now. I had planned to eat lunch on the road but nooooo. These two just had to get out of the car for a while. It will be close to midnight by the time we get to moms.

Fuck, I can’t even concentrate anymore, she is blabbing about all the shades of lipstick she brought and how she intends to use them. She is sitting right in front of me and I really want to use my shoelaces to reach around and strangle her.

***

9:35 pm

I’m glad I remembered the batteries. I’m still able to write with the flashlight Bobby gave me.

Bored, bored, bored, bored, boring, bored, bored. It has been a really quiet ride since Tony exploded. Amber was going on and on about absolutely nothing and everything that is nothing and he finally had enough. He turned to her and loudly yelled, “shut up!” Then, he started yelling about how stupid she is. He told her every time she opens her mouth his penis shrivels up a little more. (Ouch)

Needless to say, she didn’t like that and they started bickering, which quickly turned into an intense argument. Suddenly, Tony pulled the car off of the freeway, whipped into a closed gas station, got out of the car and walked around for a while mumbling to himself. He was so mad at her he just needed some space.

I don’t blame him.

Amber sat there for a minute and then she got out of the car, ran around to the drivers side, and got back in. It was my turn to yell at her when she attempted to drive away. There was no way I was going to let her leave this poor guy in the middle of nowhere at some abandoned gas station in the middle of the night. That is how horror movies begin. I would have jumped out of the car myself but this stupid little car has no rear doors. I have to push the front seat all the way forward to climb out. Even when I push the seat forward it is hard to reach the door handle.

I managed to convince Amber to turn the car around and go get Tony. After she pulled over I struggled to climb out of the back seat and I explained to Tony that he really needed to come with us. It would only be a few more hours in the car and then he could hang out with me once we arrived at my moms house. Once I explained I had some cute friends that I might be able to hook him up with since he obviously wasn’t hooking up with Amber, he reluctantly agreed to get back into the car. I got back into my spot in the backseat behind the passenger seat and Tony sat in the passenger seat.

I feel bad for the guy. He isn’t as much of a dolt as I first thought. The guy thought he was going to have a fun weekend and it is just ending up to be a nightmare and we aren’t even there yet. We even have a few things in common.

When Amber drove back onto the freeway, I slid my hand down the right side of his seat, between the seat and the door and just put my hand on him. He reached around with his left hand and touched my fingers softly. He then exhaled and put his head back. I just wanted him to know I totally understand.

Only a few more hours…

***

11:41 pm

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I’m trying my best to stay calm. I’m fucking furious!

So we got back onto the freeway after leaving that gas station and no one was talking to each other. The silence caused Tony and I to false asleep and the stupid idiot bitch got lost! We’re on some stupid little road in the mountains in the snow! There are no mountains near my mom's house! Amber has been to my moms three times now, and she knows there are no mountains. Why did she keep driving up the mountain without saying anything to me? I have no idea where we are or how far off track we are. But that isn’t the worst of it!

I woke up because the car was going back and forth on a windy road. I opened my eyes and looked out the window and everything was white. I sat up and looked around and screamed at Amber to stop the car. Not only was she driving in the wrong direction, she was driving up a windy, snow covered road with no chains on her tires! The car was sliding all over the place and we nearly hit several trees!

My screams startled Tony and he woke up as well. We were both yelling at Amber to stop instead just just kept driving while she started to cry! That is when I thought for sure that we were going to die. Not only was she sliding on snow and ice, she was crying as well and screaming at the both of us. But that still isn’t the worst of it!

I managed to get everyone in the car to calm down and I calmly explained to Amber that she was going the wrong way and she would need to turn around. So what does she do?

She fucks the car up!

During the turn she drove over a large mound of snow and we heard a huge crunch and now the car won’t move at all. It won’t go forward or backward. Stupid idiot!

I want to kill her!

Tony thinks we must be on a rock or log or something. There is too much snow under the car to see what we are on. It is so dark and cold that we can’t really work outside for long. None of us are prepared for snow. We have light jackets but no one brought gloves or anything…because there is no snow at my mom's house!

We were hoping another car would drive by so that they could help, but it has been over an hour and we haven’t seen anyone. We can’t get a signal on our phones because we are in the middle of a fucking forest, and fifteen minutes ago it started snowing again. Tony put out some hazard signs that we found in the trunk. Hopefully no one will crash into us. We are sitting sideways in the road, like sitting ducks.

Unless someone drives up or down this road, it looks like we are going to be here for the night. We are going to sleep in shifts just in case someone drives by. Our plan is to wait until morning and we will see if we can get off the rock or whatever and then continue on…if the car still runs. Amber isn’t allowed to drive the rest of the trip.

I volunteered to stay up for the first shift. I’m way, way too angry to sleep. Amber is pretending to be asleep. Tony worked really hard to get us off the rock and he is actually asleep.

I hope you don’t worry too much, mom. I’ll be home soon.

***

Tuesday, December 17th
8:37 am

We woke up about 7:00 am. I guess you could call it waking up. We all didn’t sleep much. It was so cold last night that we couldn’t get comfortable. We had to keep starting the car and running the heater.

Then, in the middle of the night, the car ran out of gas. We had just filled up the tank and only drove an hour or two so we can only assume the gas tank was ruptured as well in the accident. Tony opened the car door and he could really smell a lot of gas so he thinks there is definitely a leak. So not only are we sitting ducks in the middle of the road, one spark can cause us to explode. Wonderful.

I’ve been tempted to set Amber’s car on fire just to warm up.

When we woke up we couldn’t see out of the windows. We rolled down a window and realized it was still dark out and had snowed several inches last night and the car was covered in snow and ice.

We waited until there was enough light out and Tony and I dug out the snow out from under the car using some bark that we pulled off of a tree. The bark made a decent scoop and we managed to pull enough snow out to see Amber had run over a rock like we suspected. Unfortunately, it broke a metal thingy for the steering that is under the car and Tony could see gas dripping as well. We’re going to have to wait for a car to drive by and then get a tow truck.

Tony is outside, looking at the car. Amber had to pee. I hope there are bears in this forest that are attracted to the smell of urine.

***

2:45 pm

Not. One. Car.

This is maddening.

Lots of angry silence.

Still snowing.

Getting colder.

***

4:15 pm

Amber just freaked out!

She started crying and screaming and yelling at both of us, She then put her running shoes on, grabbed a bunch of the snacks, shoved them in her purse, got out of the car, and started walking down the mountain! Tony and I stared at each other and then we started to follow her, trying to convince her to stay. She said she remembered there was a little house or store at the bottom of the mountain and she is going to walk there and get some help. She said she could make it in an hour or two. Tony and I are annoyed she didn’t tell us that earlier…if that was even the truth.

We begged her to come back. She kept walking and insisted that we stay with the car because it is her parents car and they will be furious if anything happens to it. We didn’t like that idea and tried to convince her to stay. We may be mad at her but we don’t want anything bad to happen! The snow was up to her knees and she was in leggings and a light jacket. We explained we would all walk down the mountain together in the morning. Amber wouldn’t reply, she just kept walking through the snow. We screamed for her to come back until we lost our voices.

Tony and I stood in the middle of the road, trying to decide what to do.

We came back to the car.

***

8:30 pm

Still no sign of help. We’re worried about Amber. She should have listened to us and stayed! She wasn’t dressed for trudging through the snow!

I wish I would have checked the weather before we left, although I had no idea we would be spending the night in the mountains. It gets cold at Moms but it never snows. We think it snowed at least a foot in the last twenty-four hours, maybe even more. We keep watching the road, thinking a snow plow or police car will eventually drive by but there hasn’t been any.

Tony moved the hazard signs and put them on the snow so people would be able to see us. We then decided that we should get ready for another night in the cold car.

Tony then bundled me up in the front seat to try and keep me warm. I’ve been shivering for hours and I haven’t been able to feel my feet since we followed Amber.

While I tried to warm up, Tony climbed into the back seat and started to rearrange everything so we could sleep in the back seat. I feel bad for him. He is a big guy and that back seat is small. He had to work hard to even move around.

He filled in the spaces where we would put our feet with our luggage. He then took all of our clothes and whatever he couldn’t zip together, he put underneath us. Anything he could zip together he zipped and tied together to make a makeshift blanket. He covered the windows with a few of his shirts to keep the chill out. It actually helped and it isn’t as frigid in here as before. It won’t exactly be a four star hotel, but it will allow us to stay close together and conserve our body heat.

He then moved me to the back seat. He took off my shoes and rubbed my feet for almost an hour to keep the blood flowing to them. He even sat on them and put them under his shirt to warm them up. He is being so, so sweet. He kept talking about his trip to Miami last year and he kept asking about my favorite hot spots that I’ve been to. I was so thankful to feel my toes again. He put three pairs of socks on my feet. My shoes are wet so I can’t put those back on.

I made a dinner of chips and salsa because that was the last thing we had to eat. At least our mouths will feel hot.

Going to bed now so we can be up early. We’re thinking of trying to walk down the mountain, but it is getting windy and it is starting to snow again. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. If it is sunny we may try to walk.

***

11:53 pm

~ Amid the chaos, a beautiful thing happens ~

Tony and I were cuddled together in the back seat. He had his back against the back seats and I was laying with my back to him, his strong arms wrapped around me, cuddling me, keeping me safe, doing his best to keep me warm. We were talking and giggling about our experiences as children and funny things that have happened in our lives. My nose really started to get cold so I turned over and nuzzled into his neck. Instantly I felt so much warmer. It gave me an idea.

“Tony, wouldn’t we stay even warmer if our skin touched?”

“What do mean?”

“My nose is so warm touching your neck. Wouldn’t we stay warmer if the rest of our skin touched?”

He paused for a moment. “Possibly, but if we catch a chill, it will take us forever to warm up again.”

“What if we just try a little, and see how it goes?”

I just wanted to feel warm again. I’ve been shivering for two days.

I sat up. “Take off your shirt,” I demanded and he reluctantly did so. I took our jackets and shirts and put them on the pile on top of us, and then laid down with my back to Tony.

Warmth

The heat of his skin felt so, so good on my back. I instantly stopped shivering and exhaled slowly. A calm came over me and I was finally able to relax again. It is so, so frustrating when you’re constantly cold.

Tony had his arms wrapped around me and he respectfully kept his hand on my tummy or ribs.

“This is working. Let’s try our pants as well,” I suggested.

“We just got comfortable!” he protested.

“I’m finally getting warm. Please?” I would have begged more if necessary.

He slowly started to move around so he could take off his pants. I sat up and quickly shed mine. We left our socks on. I wasn’t going to let my feet get cold again. I threw our pants on top of us as well and once again I pulled our makeshift blanket over us and cuddled with my back to Tony.

As we lay in the dark, the only sound you could hear was the wind howling around the car outside, and our breathing. It was scary and peaceful and comforting. Because the car was covered in snow, everything sounded different. I could hear things I couldn’t normally hear.

I swear I could hear our hearts beating.

And then I wanted more than warmth.

I sat forward and reached behind me and unclasped my bra. I pulled it off, realizing it was the first time I had had it off in days. I then rolled over and pressed my chest against his.

“I’m not trying anything. I just can’t believe how warm I feel,” I whispered.

Tony giggled and said, “You must be cold, your nipples are like little cold bullets on my chest”

We both giggled for a few minutes. It felt good to giggle after being stressed and cold for so long.

Then I felt his cock start to grow and press against my leg. We were laughing and it was freezing in the car. Isn’t it supposed to shrink in the cold? I really don’t understand how that thing works. I remember thinking that I’ll have to find a biology student to explain it one day.

“Why is it growing?” I finally asked. Might as well ask someone who has one.

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever met is almost naked and in my arms, her gorgeous breasts pressed against my chest, and we are laughing even though we are in the worst situation I can imagine. Not only are you beautiful but you’re just cool to be around. We are in the middle of nowhere, stuck in the snow, and you haven’t whined or complained. You’re intelligent, funny, creative, and resourceful. You had some great ideas to keep us warm and alive. You’re an amazing woman. Why wouldn’t it grow?”

I’ve never considered myself to be beautiful and my breasts definitely aren’t gorgeous, but knowing that he thinks so highly of me and hearing him say all those wonderful things definitely warmed my heart while his body warmed my skin.

I said softly, “When we started out on this trip, I thought you were just another meathead. Big muscles and little brains. Over time though, I could see you’re a lot more than I thought. I appreciate how you’ve taken care of me over the past two days. We may be in a bad situation, but I feel safe with you.”

I moved up and kissed his cheek, and then I kissed him softly on the lips. He squeezed me tight as I kissed him again. (Thankfully we packed our toothbrushes!)

We continued to kiss our kisses became more and more passionate. Tony is an amazing kisser and it was easy to let go and get lost in the lust. After a few minutes my nipples were no longer hard from the cold…

Moving back slightly, I pulled Tony softly and he started to lay on his stomach.

“No, lie on your back,” I whispered.

Tony did his best to roll over and lay down on the back seat. It was cute to watch such a big guy try to move around in the backseat of a tiny car with all of our supplies around us and all of our clothes on top of us and me in the way. I couldn’t help but smile.

He finally managed to roll over and lay on his back. I slowly moved on top of him and straddled him. I laid on top of him and started to kiss him again. I kissed his cheeks and the moved down and kissed his neck as his hands softly caressed the skin on my sides and back. It gave me the chills.

“Please, don’t rub softly. It gives me the chills and I’m trying to stay warm,” I said once the chill had passed.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he said as he rubbed me with his palms, restoring the warmth that his fingertips had taken away.

I could tell he did not want to ruin the moment.

I kissed him on the lips, and then slowly kissed down to his muscular chest. As I moved down his body I tried to stay as close as I could to him.

Staying close exposed me to the hard shaft that was rubbing against my body as I slowly moved lower and lower down his body. I continued to kiss down over his defined abs and finally down to his waist. I moved our blanket of clothes over my head to make sure he stayed warm, and then I slowly pulled down the front of his boxer briefs. I reached my hand up in the dark and my hand found his hot, big, thick cock laying against his stomach.

I slowly licked from the bottom of his shaft, all the way to the tip. His hot flesh felt like fire against my tongue. He moaned loudly as I softly kissed down the shaft, and then once again licked him from the bottom to the top. I could feel his legs writhe beneath mine as I awkwardly laid on top of him in the cramped space.

His cock grew with every lick, and it started to move away from his body and stand straight up. Wrapping my fingers around his hot shaft, I could feel he was as hard as a rock and his cock felt like it was on fire. I leaned forward and softly kissed and then licked the tip before taking him into my mouth and sucking on him softly. He moaned even louder.

I stated to suck on his cock slowly and deliberately. I learned every inch of his cock with my tongue and I tried to give him as much pleasure to him as possible. I would suck soft and then hard, I would move my tongue back and forth, I would take him deep into the back of my throat and suck long and slow, and then suck only on the tip, moving my head fast and quick. I loved the way the ridge of the head of his cock would rub against the roof of my mouth.

Mostly, I loved the heat. His cock was so hot in my mouth, and it was making the rest of me hot. Several times I just put my face against it to let it warm my cheeks. I kept his hot cock in my mouth as long as I could, sucking on him slowly and letting the fire within me continue to build and build. My toes tingled from both the hot cock and from finally getting some hot blood into them.

Tony’s fingers dug into my shoulders and he moaned frequently. He then grabbed my ponytail and held my head above him and quickly thrust in and out of my mouth, fucking my face. He did it cautiously and for some reason it made me feel so sexy.

I finally pulled away, gasping for breath as I climbed up his body. I knew his patience for just having my mouth had run out. Actually, my patience for only having that cock in my mouth ran out as well. I was aching to feel him inside of me.

He pulled the covers up over my back as my lips met his. My lips were still on fire from sucking on his hot cock. I was pleased that Tony didn’t freak out about kissing me after sucking on him like Jeff always used to. I love kissing a man passionately after having his cock in my mouth.

Reaching between my legs, I grabbed his hard cock and I swayed my hips until I could put the tip of his cock between my pussy lips. He tried to thrust slowly but only the tip parted my lips. He thrust a few more times but the position was awkward and he couldn’t penetrate me.

I loved that he could no longer hold himself back and he had to have me.

I briefly sat up on top of him, exposing both of us to the cold, and I slowly impaled myself onto his long, thick shaft. I was soaking wet and I slid down on him easily, but went slow deliberately. Inch by delicious inch I lowered myself onto him until I had completely engulfed him. I gasped as he slowly stretched me. His hands gripped my thighs tighter and tighter and my fingers dug into his chest deeper and deeper. When he was all the way inside me, I once again laid down on his chest.

The fire from inside me mixed with the cold outside and I got a chill up my spine. Tony moaned softly as my body shook. He pulled the clothes up over me again as I slowly started to ride him. I knew I needed to stay close to him to preserve our heat, so I held myself up by putting my hands down on the seat, right above his shoulders, and I slowly moved my body over his. My breasts slowly dragged over his chest and our lips passed over each other softly as I slowly rode up and down that long, hard shaft.

Tony put his hands on my ass and he squeezed as he closed his eyes. I think he was in the same beautiful place I was. We were really strangers that had only met two days before, but neither one of us wanted to just fuck. While it is hard to say we were making love because we hardly knew each other…that is exactly what we were doing.

Over and over I slid up and down that delicious cock, being careful not to go too fast. At first, my intention was just to generate as much heat as I could for as long as I could, but once I had him inside me, I just wanted the beautiful moment to last forever.

It was the most intense, sensual, and slow love making that I’ve ever experienced and I loved every second of it. His cock fit me perfectly and I loved how intimate the whole experience was.

Over and over my body slowly moved over his, my hard nipples dragging over his hot flesh. The rhythm was slow and deliberate. The passion growing with every movement, every pant, and every thrust. He would fill me every time I moved my hips down, and he would almost slide out of me every time I went up.

The inside of the car started to fill with my moans as I could feel my orgasm swelling within me. It was building slowly, like the snowflakes outside. As each minute passed, the orgasm grew. Every time I took Tony all the way inside me, it added another layer to my orgasm. I started to really grind my hips down on him with each thrust down but I was very careful to keep the slow, deliberate pace.

I closed my eyes and felt his kisses on my cheek and lips as time started to slow down. My body started to tremble and I felt his hands grip my hips tighter as he helped me keep the rhythm as my body started to take over. I could feel his strong hands moving me up and down and I could feel him try to thrust from beneath me.

I started to grunt as I tried to fight back my orgasm. My legs started to shake against his and I gripped the seat as hard as I could.

All my muscles tightened.

A flash of white.

A ringing in my ears.

A guttural yell.

My legs were shaking so much that my hips started to lift up and I started to slide off of that massive cock. Tony quickly put his left arm around my back to hold me close to him and he put his right hand on my lower back and then pushed up with his legs and started ramming me super fast from underneath, his hip bone slamming into my clit with each thrust.

Flashes of white.

Skin slapping skin.

Biting his shoulder as I screamed.

Gripping the seat tighter.

My orgasm infiltrating my body, taking over, and possessing me.

My orgasm didn’t come in waves, instead, it was like a snow plow pushing through me. It was strong and intense and it kept building and it lasted forever.

It was so intense that my strength gave out and arms turned to jello I collapsed onto his chest and my body turned into a rag doll. I was completely at his mercy as he continued to slam that hot, hard cock into my soaking wet hot pussy as fast as he could. My eyes rolled back into my head, and I couldn’t think, I could only feel ecstasy and euphoria.

A long slow moan that I’ve never heard come out of myself escaped my lips.

Tony stopped and he put his legs down on the seat as he panted heavily. I had no strength whatsoever and I laid on him, limply.

“You okay?” he managed to get out through his pants.

“Yes,” I said through pants of my own.

Tony grabbed my ass and kept moving his hips sliding his cock in and out of my pussy at random depths and it was probing me in random places. Tony finally caught his breath enough and he grabbed my ass and started to try and thrust faster while being underneath me.

“Ahhhh!” I screamed out. “Stop, stop, stop. I have a cramp!”

The fog of ecstasy lifted just long enough for me to realize I was in horrible pain.

My right leg was in a weird position and I could feel my muscles tightening in my right hip before the orgasm, but then my orgasm hit and it consumed me. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe. I could only feel pure pleasure.

Tony stopped and let me go and I tried extending both of my legs but I still could’t stretch out so I started clawing at the door and pulling myself up to get me at the right angle where I could extend my legs. Tony tried lifting me as I whimpered and scrambled to get relief. I finally found enough room and I ended up standing up over Tony with my back against the top of the car. I looked down and his eyes were really wide.

“Are you OK?” he said in a panicked tone.

I could tell he was really scared but I still started to laugh. It was the most unromantic thing that could’ve happened during an incredibly amazing, beautiful moment.

“I’m fine, I just have a cramp in my hip,” I said while giggling.

He was so sweet and understanding. He started to rub my hip and we both laughed and giggled at the weird position I was in.

“Look, quick,” Tony said. He was looking between my legs so I bent my head down and looked between my legs. When I stood up I had pulled the blanket up over us, and under the blanket was a little bit of moonlight that was coming in from outside the car. It was just enough light to see a long strand of my juices going all the way from my pussy to Tony’s cock. It was actually very beautiful. We were still connected.

It was a magical moment.

Tony started to rub my hip again and the strand broke between us. We smiled and kissed and thankfully, the cramp subsided. My hip was still sore but it didn’t hurt nearly as bad.

I then started to shiver. Standing above Tony made the blanket fall off of us. We were nude and my tummy and crotch were soaking wet. Tony pulled me close to him again and quickly started pulling our clothes over us. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close but I continued to shiver. He then had another idea.

He moved me off of him and had me lay face down on the seat. He then then moved on top of me and became my blanket.

So warm.

I immediately stopped shivering.

I soon realized Tony not only wanted to keep me warm, he wanted to keep something else warm as well. His cock was in between my legs and he started to thrust very, very slowly. He started to kiss my shoulder softly and I could feel his cock quickly getting larger and hotter. It was getting hotter and hotter and I started to ache for him again. I then realized he didn’t cum yet! I had the cramp before he finished!

“Wait,” I said softly.

Like the gentleman that he is, he stopped and lifted himself off of me as I shoved my pillow down under my hips to raise my ass a little. I spread my legs as much as possible and Tony held himself up with one arm, and in the dark, moved his cock with his right hand until he found my pussy. He then slowly laid down on top of me.

He shoved one hand under my left hip and thigh and pushed it under me until he found my clit. His right hand gripped the edge of the seat that was next to my head.

I really didn’t need him to massage my clit. I was still soaking wet from before. He could have easily slid into me, but I appreciated that he was concerned with my pleasure.

While slowly massaging my clit, he pushed the tip of his cock into me until just the head slipped in. I whimpered…only because I wanted more. Instead, he slowly pulled the tip out and then put the tip back in.

I reached back with my left hand and tried to grab his ass and pull him into me, but his arm was in the way. I stopped reaching for him when he started softly kissing me. He softly kissed my shoulders, cheek, and my ear while softly massaging my clit and sliding just the tip of his cock in and out of me over and over again.

Fuck me.

I grabbed the edge of the seat tightly and whimpered again. With his weight on me and his arm under me, I could barely move. I ached for him and he knew he was teasing me. He then slowly pulled his hand out from under me, and he put his fingers to his mouth. He sucked on his fingers as the tip continued to slowly slip in and out of me.

“You taste so sweet,” he whispered.

He then continued to nibble on my ear as he reached under the seat with his left hand, and his right hand grabbed the seat tightly. I could feel the muscles in his arms tighten and I knew he was going to ram me soon.

Tip in.

Tip out.

Tip in.

The anticipation was driving me insane.

Tip out.

Tip in.

Tip out.

Hot, hard, cock.

I was full of cock in an instant...and immediately he started plunging into me hard and fast.

Some strange noise that was a mix between a gasp, an exhale, and a guttural moan escaped my lips, and then I inhaled and the noise turned into a loud, long moan because he was like a machine, thrusting in hard from behind, and his hips were rhythmically slamming into my ass. He was slamming into me so hard that my head suddenly stated to bump into the arm rest on the car door.

His left hand reached under my left arm and his fingers hooked onto my left shoulder, and then in between thrusts he pulled hard with his left hand and I slid back a few inches, and then he quickly shoved that delicious cock back into me without even skipping a beat. I reached up the best I could with my right hand and pushed back against the door, except I had little strength left in my arms. All of my energy was focused on what was happening between my legs. I’ve never been impaled so deep, hard, fast and deliciously in all my life.

Bang my head against the door all you want, just don’t stop shoving that magnificent cock into me.

I have no idea how long he fucked me like that but it felt like both a few minutes and an eternity all at the same time. I really couldn’t tell because I stopped thinking and had some sort of metaphysical experience.

I stopped being a woman.

I stopped being Natasha.

I stopped being human.

I became sex.

Tony reached under me and his fingers found my clit again, but instead of rubbing my clit he started to press on my clit every time he pulled out. He would thrust in deep and hard, and then press down on my clit as he slid out, and then shove himself in hard again. I have no idea how he did it, but the man has talent. It caused my orgasm to grow quickly and I remember reaching back with my left arm and grabbing his ass and digging my nails into him, trying to hold on.

My orgasm continued to build and Tony’s cock started to swell inside me. Tony finally started to go a little faster and fuck me a little harder. He waited for me the first time and now I wanted to wait for him. His fingers pressed my clit harder and harder and I started to moan and yell louder as he grunted into my ear. The sound reached a crescendo as he slammed into me harder and harder, faster and faster. The tip of his cock became huge and then…

Hot cum.

White flash.

Breathing stopped.

Ears ring.

Inhale.

Loud screams.

Fingers dig.

Bodies convulse.

More cock.

More cum.

Guttural grunts.

Hard shoves.

Hot bodies.

Beating harts.

Loud exhales.

Heavy Breathing.

Finally calm.

Forever changed.

I was so lost in euphoria and lust. We were completely in a cocoon, multiple cocoons actually. The cocoon of the snow covered the car, and the cocoon of pure lust all around us. In our cocoon there were no other sounds other than our moans, heavy breathing, and our skin colliding together over and over again. There were no other smells but the smell of sex and sweat. There were no other tastes than the taste of his lips or the taste of our juices or the taste of his skin. There was no other touch than our hot flesh.

My head was spinning in the most wonderful way. I had never been so in sync with another human before, and it was magical.

We didn’t speak the rest of the night, which was fine because we fully understood one another. A few seconds after our amazing orgasm he softly touched me to guide me where he wanted me to go. He slowly pulled the pillow out from under my tummy and put it under our heads, and then he carefully rolled us to our right side. He was being so careful so that he would not slip out of me. He slowly reached down and pulled our makeshift blanket over us, and then slid himself as deep into me as he could. He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled his nose next to my neck, and he quickly fell asleep. I love feeling his warm breath on my neck and shoulder as he breathes. He finally slipped out of me shortly after he fell asleep. I wish men could stay hard all night after. I wanted to stay connected.

I still want him inside of me.

My head was spinning too much and my body was trembling too much for me to sleep, so I decided to update my journal. I had to start over several times because the words didn’t make much sense until the orgasmic fog lifted from my mind.

It is after 2:00 am and I really should get some sleep, but I had to write all of this down. I had to save this magical moment so I can always look back and remember how wonderful every second was.

At least our experiment worked…we’re very warm.

***

Wednesday, December 18th
10:00 am

Tony and I woke up in the middle of the night and had to put our clothes back on to stay warm. Our bodies had finally cooled down and the storm had gotten worse after we went to sleep. The wind really started to howl around the car, and it even shook the car a few times.

We woke up again about an hour ago. With all the hot sex, little food, and the cloudy skies, it was easy to sleep in.

As soon as I turned to face Tony and he kissed my forehead. I reached down and slowly started to rub his cock over his pants. Thankfully, I could feel him growing quickly. I unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them, and then I got up and moved down to be in-between his legs. I had to get on my knees and Tony had to move up a little, but I managed to pull his cock out of his pants and wrap my lips around his warm flesh.

He quickly grew in my mouth as I slowly and softly sucked on him. I could still taste us from last night. It felt so good to have something so hot in my mouth after being cold again for most of the night. I quickly started to heat up again.

I grabbed his growing cock with my right hand and I started to stroke him. I grabbed his hard cock tightly and I started to move my head faster.

“Come here…I want that hot pussy,” Tony said softly.

“I can’t, I’m too swollen and sore,” I replied as I continued to stroke his cock.

I lied. I wanted to swallow his cum.

I was so hungry…

He lay back and started to get a little too comfortable. I was tired and hungry and I didn’t have the energy to suck on his cock all day. I started to talk dirty just to get him to cum faster. When I asked him if he wanted to watch me lick a pussy, he came almost instantly.

His hot cum shot into the back of my throat and I continued to suck on him and stroke him as long as possible, taking in every last drop. I was so hungry and cold that I could feel his hot cum sliding all the way down, into my empty tummy.

I collapsed into a heap next to him, completely out of energy and I think I dozed off again. I woke up when Tony sat up and started putting on his jacket.

He is outside right now trying to make a fire. I love that he is trying everything he can to keep us warm and safe. I really wished that we had met under better circumstances. He is actually a really nice guy.

I’m a little worried about him. He looks really pale today. It’s probably from the lack of food and sleep.

My hand is too cold to write anymore.

***

8:30 pm.

Another day and still no cars passed by.

Tony tried for three hours but he couldn’t get a fire started. He climbed back in the car and he was so exhausted he fell asleep. He woke up to talk for a bit but he really wasn’t making sense.

He has been shivering ever since he came back into the car. I tried to keep him warm but he just kept shivering. I then touched his forehead and realized he had a fever. I’m not sure what made him sick but he is really shaking and it is scaring me.

I can tell it is going to be another really long night.

***

Wednesday, December 19th

Early morning, before daylight.

I cannot tell what time it is. Phone dead. Watch dead.

So cold.

Flashlight almost dead.

Tony still shivering and moaning. I’m getting really scared.

***

Morning.

I’ve been sitting here crying for an hour. Cried so much my tears froze on my cheeks.

Tony suddenly sat up, said he was too hot. He got out of car. He stripped down and started walking. Fell over after a few feet.

I got out of car. Went to him. No pulse. No breathing.

Tony is dead.

How can Tony be dead? He was just talking to me. Now he is face down in the snow. I got him a blanket.

Forgot I wasn’t wearing shoes when I got out of the car. Feet are now so, so cold.

In car now. Can’t close car door. Too much snow or something. Scared. Alone. Tired. Cold. Crying. Always shivering.

I miss you mommy.

***

Dusk.

Such a long, long day. Sleeping a lot. Crying a lot.

After Tony died, Bobby came to me in the car. He said he missed me so much. I’m so confused. I know he died in Afghanistan but he came and talked to me and hugged me. He looked so good and he felt warm.

Took off my socks and my toes look black. I think that is bad. Is that bad Mommy? Bobby tried to warm up my feet but it didn’t work. Bobby told me the highway goes to Las Vegas and it is hot. He said the wicked live in my mind and I should. Bobby said daddy was my angel. Daddy lives in Vermont now with Frosty the snowman and the Santa. And I miss juice. Orange juice is my favorite. I would really like some now. And I kissed a boy and a girl and it was

I’m so confused.

Maybe my brain is frozen.

Sleep now.

***

Thirty day. December 543

Morning.

Piled all the clothes on me. Stopped shivering for a bit. Slept for a bit. Cried for a bit.

More snow last night. Can barely see Tony now. Snow coverd him.

My feet are turning black.

All I want to do is sleep.

I want Bobby to come back.

Cannot understand what I wrote yesterday. My head gets so confused.

***

Dusk.

No cars.

No trucks.

No hope.

No toes.

No food.

No sleep.

No more.

***

Saturday? Sunday? I don’t know anymore.

Morning.

I woke up and I feel really, really warm. I don’t know why. I’m going to go out and cuddle Tony and see if I can warm him up, like he warmed me up when we made love. Maybe I can warm him up enough so he will wake up.

I’m going to go cuddle him now.

I love you Tony.

I love you Bobby.

I love you mommy.

***
***

January 4th - A snow plow came upon the vehicle at 3:47 pm. Police were notified. Police arrived on the scene. Contents of the vehicle were searched. Journal recovered by the Police Department. Search and rescue was notified. Cadaver dogs were brought onto the scene. The bodies of Tony Matthews, and Tamera Lacey were found about fifteen feet from the vehicle. Both victims had been reported missing by their families. Both victims were only dressed in their underwear and socks. As the journal indicates, Tamera was cuddling Tony. The bodies were covered in sixteen inches of snow. it is suspected that both had severe hypothermia. Tony may have had an additional ailment which intensified his symptoms

From the journal is was determined there may be another victim, Amber Ryder, who was also reported missing several days ago by her parents. The search for her is ongoing.

January 5th - Next of kin was notified. Tamera’s mother has provided permission to reprint her journal as a warning to all to be prepared when making any trips during he winter. Pack extra blankets, food, batteries, tools, and road flares. Always check the roads and weather before leaving.

The search for Amber is still ongoing.

Condolences to their parents and friends.