I was absolutely shocked. Baffled. Bamboozled. Confused. Non-plussed.Any of these words, and more besides, described me.

I was sitting on the toilet. That was not why I was so shocked and confused. I knew how I had gotten there and why I was there. What I didn't understand were the events that had led to me being there, sat on the cold wooden toilet seat, cum-stained panties around my ankles.

I fully understood the first part. I had lost my virginity to, and taken the virginity of, one of my closest friends, Joe, the night before. It had been the most wild, loving, exciting dream possible. I had lost my virginity to someone I truly loved and adored and who reciprocated those feelings, a very rare privilege. We had made wonderful love together and fallen asleep in Joe's bed. We awoke the next morning, found each other's sleepy eyes and kissed. Then the madness started.

A cough. From neither of us. Our heads shot around like meerkats hearing a hyena breaking a twig. There stood just in front of the bedroom door, one of our flatmates, Lewis. An unreadable expression on his face. Even his oh-so expressive eyes told me no stories on this occasion. Joe had leaped away to the other end of the bed. Sure, four-feet of distance would convince him nothing happened. My heart was thumping, but not as much as you might expect. While I was worried that Lewis would be angry and upset with Joe and I for changing the dynamic of our household and friendships without discussion, I had no regrets. I loved Joe and I loved the sex I had with him. Joe looked like he was being sentenced to death by burning at the stake. Lewis' breathing was deep, heavy and slow.

"Go and have a shower, Joe," Lewis said.

He didn't move. Frozen in fright.

"Go and have a shower just now, Joseph," Lewis said a bit more firmly. Oh dear, the Christian name. Joe didn't need a third invite. He bounded off the bed, cum-encrusted penis wagging, rushed past Lewis, dodged the punches the never came and ran out through the door. Lewis closed it gently after him. He turned and slowly lifted his gaze to mine. I didn't flinch and held his stare. Moments passed. My defiance was growing.

"Are you okay?" Lewis asked. It was not the line I had expected, but I answered.

"I'm fine."

"Why Joe?"

That did catch me off guard. 'Why Joe?' I understood the question and yet had no understanding of it at all.

"How do you mean?"

"Why did you choose Joe to lose your virginity to?"

I thought and thought some more. I thought I had answered... no, I didn't. Why wasn't Lewis shouting? Dragging me to the shower and scrubbing my body in boiling water like the heathen I surely was? Why wasn't he telling me how I had destroyed years our friendship between the five of us in the house?

"I didn't really choose, it just happened in the moment," I answered. "We bumped into each other during the night, started talking and then started... you know."

"Are you happy?" Lewis asked.

"Yes," I replied. More confused than ever. I could feel the paranoia growing in my head. He must be about to pull out a cannon and blast me off the face of the earth.

"Jenny, this may seem weird, but I don't mind," stated Lewis. Surely, he didn't mean it how it sounded, I thought. "I just want you to be happy and safe."

"Okay..." I said, hesitantly. Lewis chuckled.

"I'm honestly not angry, Jen." He smiled softly. I couldn't believe this. Maybe I was still dreaming, I would wake up any second now back in Joe's strong, tender, loving arms. "I do just have one question. Why not me?"

What? My brain played the white noise static a television set plays when the signal fails. Earth to Jennifer, Earth to Jennifer, this is Houston calling; Lewis just asked if you want bacon? No, he didn't. He asked why I hadn't slept with him. I became aware that my jaw was hanging open. I snapped it shut. Lewis' eyes were now not just telling me stories, they were writing tapestries. Lust, love, affection, concern; they were almost writing a dictionary of emotions.

"Maybe that's a bit of a big question for just now. Listen, why don't you head to the bathroom, and freshen up," he said. "I'll go downstairs and make some breakfast. I do want to talk to you about this, though. Maybe tonight, you should come to my room, just before you go to bed and we can discuss this properly? Em, intimately."

Lewis was arranging intimacy with me. Had I fallen down the rabbit hole? Was I in my beloved youth theatre performing some backwards version of Hamlet?

"Would you like that?" he enquired. I had no idea what to say. That's a lie. My body was screaming for me to say yes. I had been lusting for the man stood in front of me for some time. My body, my vagina in particular, was yearning for him. My brain was over-playing this. It couldn't form the words through the haze. I nodded. Why was I nodding? Was that my body sneaking a message through the fuzziness in my mind? Lewis smiled and breathed out.

"Alright," he said, "I'll get cooking. Go and get up and ready for the day." He smiled more broadly, turned, and exited the room. In this year, the hundredth anniversary of World War One. I have heard a lot about shell-shock and the symptoms displayed by the patients and returning battle-scarred soldiers. Looking back, I must've looked shell-shocked. After about ten minutes of sitting blankly, my mind replaying the events of the previous night and that morning, I finally managed to move myself.

I rose from the bed and walked to the bedroom door. On my way, I passed my panties and vest top strewn on the floor. It hit me then that I had been sitting in front of Lewis with my breasts completely on display. This made me more baffled and, yet, extremely turned on. I walked down the corridor to the bathroom. Joe had finished and it was free. I went in.

I looked in the mirror. Yes, I was still Jennifer Ryan. Twenty-two-year-old lover of dramatic arts, liker of cats, disliker of intolerance, renowned prawn cocktail crisp-eater and the person assumed most likely to keep reading Harry Potter until she is in her fifties. There was no escaping it. This had all happened to me. It was no dream and I was not inside someone's head seeing their world, like in the film "Being John Malkovich". I put down the toilet seat, (Joe may have been a great lover, but he was still a typical man) dropped my fresh pair of panties that I had thrown on and sat down.

There I sat. An almost home-wrecking, no-longer-virgin. Although the home that I had almost wrecked was my own.

I had been sitting here for about half an hour probably, I was really not sure. I knew I should really go and get dressed. The smell of bacon and eggs wafted under the door. I was definitely getting up.

Once showered and dressed, I headed downstairs, through the living room and into the kitchen. Joe was tucking into what was clearly his second or third breakfast roll, no more looking sheepish but positively conquering. I imagine that is how Emperor Constantine looked when he stood in his newly founded city of Constantinople, modern day Istanbul.

"Have some food, Jen," said Lewis, proffering a very large, full roll.

"Yeah, you must need the energy!" chortled Joe. I looked at him in shock! Jokes in front of Lewis!

"Just eat your food, Joseph," said Lewis sternly. Joe kept chuckling. "As you can surely guess, Joe and I have talked," continued Lewis, "what is between you and Joe is your business. As long as you are safe and happy, I'm happy. As I said to your Joe, if either of you need to talk," Lewis gave me a knowing look and a wink behind Joe's back, "then you know where I am." He smiled, poked Joe in the ribs, squeezed my arm and headed for the living room. "Oh, and condoms are in the bathroom." He said finally, in his stern voice.

It was just me and Joe. Sexy Joe. The dear friend, and now lover, who had deflowered me. God, he was so sexy. So masculine. He turned to me and caught me checking him out. He grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Still like what you see, Jennifer?" he asked teasingly.

"Shut up," I retorted. He wheeled off his seat and was right in front of me between my legs. I moistened. Oh god I wanted him again. His thick, firm cock plundering my pussy, filling every inch of me. Spraying his cum deep within my body. He leaned into me and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes and moaned. That was it; he was going to have to fuck me there in the kitchen. I grabbed his shirt and started to pull. However, he resisted.

"I have rugby this morning, I can't right now, however much I want to," he huskily whispered in my ear. The feel of his warm breath on my skin made me burn with lust. "Come to me again tonight," he said, "Come to me again. I want more of you, Jenny." He sucked my neck in a big kiss. I melted. He squeezed my bum and I nodded. Then he left me, grinning, loving the effect he had on me. The bastard. He had just left me high and dry. Well, not dry. Definitely not dry.

After about five minutes, filled with heavy breathing, trying to calm my lust and vociferous eating, a hand massaged my bum again. Had Joe not teased me enough? Well, he had. Because this was not Joe. Walking around caressing my backside was one of my other flatmates, Matty.

"What are you doing?" I quizzed.

"A lot less than Joe did last night." said Matty, smirking. Joe's bedroom bordered Matty's.

He must've heard everything.

"I heard everything," he said.

You see.

"Sounded like fun," he continued.

"It was," I said coyly.

"You know I love you, too, Jen."

"I know," I said, not quite sure where this was going, but I thought I could guess.

"I want to show you how much I love you."

"Matty...."

"No listen. I'm not competing and I'm not doing this on a spur of the moment. Jen, I love you. I always have, so much. You're my best friend in the world, I know Joe and I are best mates, but what you and I have is... different, and yeah, you're a brat, but you're my brat. I've felt... stuff for you for a long time."

I couldn't quite take it in and yet, I was smiling. I loved Matty, too, but he never told me that he did. It was just an un-written truth. And Matty was gorgeous. A torso crafted in the model of the statue of David and a head lifted off Chris Hemsworth's shoulders. I couldn't lie to myself or Matty. I wanted him. Very much.

"Sleep with me tonight," said Matty and with that he kissed me full on the lips. I was shocked.

The shock subsided.

I reciprocated.

We broke off. I nodded. Our eyes were burning with passion like the noon sun. Matty left the kitchen. I was so excited. I was going to sleep with Matty! I couldn't wait! I was so desperate to feel his naked body up against mine. Gorgeous Matty making passionate love to my tender body.

I would go to Matty... erm... straight after... sleeping with Joe. Oh wait. How was I going to manage that? Oh no! Lewis wanted to talk tonight! Well, 'talk'. What was I going to do?

I could go to Joe and sleep again with him. I knew what to expect. Wonderful sex with a man I loved. A big, thick cock filling my vagina to bursting point, his thick, masculine body holding my womanly form.

I could visit Matty. The sexiest man alive. A night of passionate love making with a beautiful man. His delicate, but firm touch all over my body, his kisses everywhere, from my neck to my breasts and clitoris. Feeling his orgasm and seeing it in his stunning eyes would live in my dreams forever.

Alternatively, I could go to my oldest flatmate, Lewis, and 'talk'. Talk intimately. There would be very little talking. He wanted me and I wanted him. It was crazy. I had seen his cock the day before yesterday and it was big. It would feel incredible to have his cock slide in and out of my soaking wet pussy and feel his strong arms holding me, his loving lips kissing me.

The men who I loved more than any others in the world, all wanted me, to have sex with me and I wanted them all.

My whole house wanted to fuck me. This was insane. What would my mother say?

My mother.

What would she say?

She wanted me to be happy, but like this? Would she be disappointed? Angry? Disgusted? I hardly knew my mother thanks to the chronic illness that had robbed me of her. A tear broke the surface in my eye. I stifled it.

"You okay?" asked Andy, my youngest flatmate, entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, fine. Just thinking about my mum."

I decided to leave the kitchen before any more debauchery happened. I tickled Andy briefly and he squealed his cute laugh.

I spent the rest of that summer day in my room practicing my audition piece for my youth theatre's upcoming spectacular, 'The Merchant of Venice'.

By night time, my head was no less resolved. I heard Lewis going to his room.

"I'm going to bed now, Jen!" he called.

"Okay!" I replied through the door.

What should I do?

Five minutes later. A text arrives at my mobile phone.

"In bed ready 4 ur sweet ass! J"

Joe.

I opened my bedroom door. I was faced with Matty going into his room. His face was calm. He winked and went in. Closed the door.

Three rooms. Three dearly close male friends. Three choices for loving sex. This is the most perverted, wild game show ever. Japanese television probably has this on prime time on a Saturday night.

I had made up my mind. I knew my choice. My only concern now was would I be hurting the other two?

My body was ready, however, and was starting to over-rule my brain. My pussy was moist and nipples stiff. I was wearing very, very short night shorts that just showed the bottom of my bum cheeks and a very, very tight pajama vest top that emphasised my breasts and right now my nipples were playing the worst game of hide and seek ever.

I strolled to the door. I listened. If this was a game show, I could ask the audience.

I turned the handle, stepped inside, and silently closed the door after myself. I turned around to face him.

"Your lucky night," I said sheepishly.

"It certainly looks that way," replied Matty, eyes as wide as saucers.

"You still want me?"

"More than ever," he said, extending his hand. I slowly walked over, took it, and sat down on the bed with him. We stared into each other's eyes. His were so beautiful. I like to imagine he was thinking the same about mine!

"Jen, I don't want you to think that this is anything less than my love for you..." he said, but I put a finger to his lips to silence him.

"Ssh, brat," I said, smiling, "I know you and love you, too."

He kissed my finger delicately without breaking eye contact. I rolled my fingers down his chin, stroked down is neck, caressed down his chest (It felt amazing!) and down to his crotch. I rubbed his immense hard-on.

Matty leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back. Kiss followed kiss, followed by kiss after kiss, escalating in passion. Our tongues invaded each other's mouths. We embraced tightly. His huge, manly arms, full of muscles and strong sinews enveloped me as my hands stroked and caressed his sides. He laid me back on his bed. He kissed all down my torso, then kissing all the way back up, lifting my top with his nose.

He finished off pulling it off and over my head with his hands. He kissed all around my breasts. Each kiss was a tender love letter. He wound in and around them. Working closer and closer to my nipples. My nipples which were threatening to pop like party poppers, so hard and erect as they were. When he finally took one in his mouth, I gasped. The sensation was mesmeric. The pleasure shot directly to my vagina and out around the rest of my body. He loved, licked, and sucked them expertly. Matty, unlike Joe last night, was no virgin. He tended to my form like Michaelangelo crafting his art.

He finally moved from my breasts and pulled his boxers off. His cock sprang free like a jack in the box. It was perfection. Smooth, firm, shaped, a prominent head and clean-shaven. I eyed it like a magpie spying silver coins. Matty raised himself until the tip was right in my face. I wanted it more than oxygen at that moment in time. I licked from the base at his balls, all the way up the bottom of his shaft to his thick, gorgeous helmet. He contorted slightly in delight and pleasure. A smile played with his lips. I slowly engulfed his tip with my mouth, sucked, and released with a slight pop. Matty moaned. I did so again taking more in my mouth. Matty moaned louder. Once again I sucked, using my hand tenderly on his manhood. Matty swore. I slowly started sucking his beautiful penis while massaging his shaft with my hand. Every suck made his cock twitch in my mouth. I loved the feeling on my tongue. Matty played sensitively with my hair.

"I love you," he whispered. I didn't try to reply, I was pretty sure he was getting the message.

Eventually, Matty removed my head from his now glistening cock and pushed me back on his bed again. He slid off my damp shorts. He sniffed them. There may well have been cocaine in them because his face was one of utter delight. He lowered his face to my pussy and kissed my lips. I threw my head back. Matty went to work on me. I was in pure ecstasy. Nirvana. Heaven. Bliss. Each flick of my clit, probe of my vagina, tickle of my labia sent waves of adrenalin and passion soaring around my body. My beautiful friend was giving me some of the most unbelievable feelings. I came twice during his cunnilingus. Not huge sky-scraping orgasms, but pure blissful releases of energy, lust and passion. Joe last night was working by the textbook. Matty was writing the textbook.

After my second orgasm, Matty moved up my body and kissed me. I could taste my sweet, tangy juices on his lips. I loved it. I felt his hard cock brush my lips.

"Fuck me, Matty," I whispered in his ear, breaking the kiss. He lowered his hips and pressed. His cock slid in effortlessly. The slow, firm progress of his cock entering me was fantastic. Every inch of his long, thick manhood opening up my vagina, spreading me apart, stroking the inside of my pussy. I gasped and moaned. Matty and I made slow passionate love for hours. Each thrust was loving. Each squeeze was heart-felt. When Matty unloaded his seed inside me, it sent a rush of euphoria through me. Feeling his cum spurt into my pussy and fill me to the brim as he breathed hard and thrusted harder brought me to orgasm again. My juices poured and mixed with his spunk. His cock kept thrusting pushing his cum deeper inside of me, making me feel so full. Matty and I slept hugging that night. Utterly exhausted physically and emotionally.

The next morning came all too soon.

To Be Continued...