As I drove to her home, I could barely keep my eyes off of her and on the road. She was chattering away about many things, but I hardly heard a word. That is until she said, "I was sorry to hear about you losing your wife."

A flood of emotions washed over me as I thanked her. "She was a wonderful woman, taken away much too soon."

"I am sure she was, how could she not be, she had you for a husband." As I pulled in her drive, she asked me to come in. "I will get us something to drink. How long were you married?"

"A little over five years, but I knew her from my first year at Yale, actually met her the first day of classes." I told her of my pursuit, the many rejections and finally her asking me out during our junior year. "You could have knocked me over with a feather, I had given up hope, and here, she asks me out."

"But, enough about that, I want to know about your life, since we last saw each other, everything," I said as we walked into her house.

As she poured us a glass of wine, she began to relate all the events in her life. "College at MIZZOU, married, divorced, teaching at multiple schools before coming back here to Ridgewood." Suddenly, she became quiet. I noticed a tear rolling down her face. "David, there is something I have to tell you, you aren't going to like it, but I have to be honest with you."

That was the first time she had ever called me David. It was always RR or Richie Rich, never David. I took her hand, "KK, I already know."

She laughed. "I am Katharine now, KK no longer exists. I should have known you would find out, do you hate me?"

"For accepting my father's bribe to pay for your education if you would stay away from me? KK, sorry, Katharine, my father could be very persuasive, always got his way. He tried to control every aspect of my life, and I suppose to some degree, he did. Why do you think I went to Yale? Father!"

I told her when going through my father's personal papers, I found the agreement she and her mother had signed. "I wanted to see you and tell you I understood, that I did not have hard feelings. You were my first love, so special to me and on some level, I still love you."

She sat there in silence for a moment then said, "You were the nicest, sweetest guy I knew and I see you haven't changed. I was in love with you from the first day I met you, a shy, scared boy, trying to fit in at a new school, not wanting anyone to know your family had mega bucks."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yep! My first act of defiance, insisting I go to Ridgewood. It was the best decision I ever made. My first day, meeting you and Baz, how lucky could a guy get?"

"Brian Bazwell, a blast from the past, I had forgotten you guys were good friends." She asked me if I knew where Baz was now.

I told her he lived in Nashville. "He played football for Vanderbilt, met his wife there, and after his brief pro career, moved back. He is a local TV sports personality, very popular."

She said she could see that, "He was always charming, all the girls loved him." She had a far away look in her eyes. I wondered if she had been with Baz or not, but I did not ask.

I told her I caught a lot of shit from him and all the other guys. "The skinny, shy boy was dating the hottest piece…um, um, um...the hottest girl in school. They were so jealous."

She laughed heartily at my 'almost' faux pas. "I did have quite a reputation back then, but it wasn't real, I just played it up." She said it was true that she had been with a few guys before me, "But, then you, there were no others until after I moved away."

I asked about her mother. She said her mother had passed away several years ago, "Breast cancer. I moved back here to take care of her, took a job at Ridgewood and the rest is history."

I could not take my eyes off her. "KK…look, I can't call you Katharine, you will always be KK to me," I continued. "How long were you married?"

She told me it was almost too brief to even count as a marriage. "It was a colossal mistake, a brain fart. He was a charmer, romantic, always said the right things. What I did not know, I was not the only one he was saying those things to. I found out later he screwed a sorority sister at our wedding reception. What a low life bastard."

I told her no one, especially her, deserved to be treated that way. "I was devastated when you left for college, never said goodbye, never heard from you." I said. "Every girl after that was just a one nighter and I moved on, did not want to get hurt again. Then came Danielle, knocked me off my feet. God I was so in love with her from the first time I laid eyes on her," I said as I began to cry.

She moved closer to me, held me as I softly sobbed. "You really loved her, I can tell." It felt so good to be held by someone who had great affection for me, if not real love. It was comforting.

"Sorry, it still stings, so unfair for her, for me, for everyone who knew her." I said I needed to stop this. I wanted to hear more about her life and talk about happier things.

"No, you need to talk it out, that is part of the healing process, so talk, " she commanded.

She was right, I had never really come to terms with my loss and blamed myself for moving back to Chicago.

"If we had stayed in New England, she might still be alive," I said. "I wouldn't have been driving on the Dan Ryan and that awful accident would not have happened." I was sobbing uncontrollably, now.

She was holding me tightly, kissing my head. "Let it all out, my sweet man, it's ok to cry." I was feeling so vulnerable, yet so relieved to be able to cry. I had not since the funeral.

"Come with me, David," she said as she directed me to her bedroom. "Remember this room," she asked?

"It looks a little different, but yes, I remember," I replied. She turned and kissed me. I was not expecting that. "KK, I can't, I want to but I can't. I don't want to use as if you were a consolation prize."

"Ok, David, maybe it is too soon, but you have to know something, all these memories of us together are overwhelming me, I still love you," she said, tearfully.

I took her back to the living room. Sitting on the couch, arm in arm, I told her there were things she needed to know about me. "You may not like me so much after I tell you these things."

"What, like you are a serial killer," she laughed? "No, seriously, David, what could be that bad?"

"I only came back here because Father was ill and needed me to take over his business, not exactly what I wanted to do, but I felt a strong family obligation, the business has been in our family for 3 generations, there was no way he was going to sell it."

"After Dani was killed in the accident, I went into major depression, could barely function. But, somehow I was able to run the firm, even though the staff hated me. You know how unreasonable I can be when things aren't going as I think they should."

"Yes, David, you are a perfectionist, you expect everything and everyone to be just like you," she said. But, babe…."

I interrupted her, "Let me finish KK, this is very difficult for me, I just want you to listen."

"Okay, sorry, go on."

I explained what a bear I was at work, even lost a few good employees. "Then, came Matthew, a bright young man with a promising future. He could make me smile with his zany personality and his relentless work ethic was impressive. What I didn't know at the time, Matthew was gay, not that it mattered, but gay nonetheless."

"Where is this going, David," she asked?

"Patience, dear KK, I am getting there." I was finding it hard to speak, stumbling over my words. "Long story short, I developed feelings for Matthew, intimate feelings that I did not understand. Never in my life had I ever had such feelings for a man, not even for my closest friend, Baz, which, BTW, he knows nothing of this."

I told her of my acceptance and decision to tell Matthew. "I knew he would probably head for the hills, me an older man…ten years older, preving on a young, good looking man. But to my surprise, he told me he felt the same about me." I was not prepared to give sexual details, but told her it happened and for a while, I was okay with it.

"Then realization of what was going on hit me like a ton of bricks, and I knew it was not what I wanted. I cared for him, but I did not want to be sexual with him any longer, so I broke it off. Thankfully, he left the firm for another job."

"Wow, I am stunned," she said. "How long did this go on?"

I told her it was almost 2 years. "We lived together, pretty much as a couple, but I never achieved the comfort level I had with you, certainly not with Dani or in fact with any of my conquests."

She sat there looking at me in disbelief. "So, you looked me up to confirm you are still a straight man."

"No, not at all. I already told you why I looked you up and that is the truth." I told her she had always been in my heart and would be forever. I stood up to leave.

"Where do you think you are going Richie Rich," she asked as she pulled me back down on the couch. "None of that bullshit matters to me. I love you, always have and always will, she said before she kissed me, a deep passionate kiss. "Now, get busy and make love to me," she demanded.

I could not get out of my clothes fast enough. The same feeling I had the first time I was with KK was consuming my body. We made love the rest of the evening until I had to pull myself away to go home, both of us had to work tomorrow.

"KK, I love you, as you said, always have, always will. Will you marry me?"

"Nope! But I will date you, be your lover and we will see where things go," she answered.

I smiled, feeling happier than I had been in years. "Deal!" I kissed her and left, not driving, but flying at least ten feet above the highway.

That was quite a few years ago and we are still together, blissfully happy. I will always love and miss my sweet Dani, however, KK has brought joy back into my life. We laugh a lot, love a lot, living the life that should have been all along. Often, I look up to the heavens and say to Father, "You were so wrong about KK. I know what you did was out of love for me. I forgive you."

I frequently ask KK to marry me, but she always says no. One of these days……