Fiona had made three phone calls on the fifty minute journey, the last had been finished as I entered the parking lot. She exuded youthful passion and vivacity no matter what the situation. Even when she was pissed off at something she at least managed to extract a little dark sarcasm from it. I had fallen for the older woman, at forty five, she was an invigorating change from the young, flawless model types that filled her office most days. Fiona didn’t have the pristine beauty of the younger women, but she had style, flair and an underlying earthy sensuality that seemed to reverberate through the office, overwhelming the tacky sexuality of the younger women. Many a night I had gone home with an image fixed in my head of Fiona leaning forward to examine a letter I had written, her bra partially visible between her buttons. I could have written a book on imagined erotic encounters with my boss. Just last night she had been lying on my bed, the pale pink blouse opened to her navel, a bra cup pulled over a nipple, and her lips parted as she waited for me to devour her breasts. I had awoken just as I was about to kiss her throat to a phone call from Fiona.
“You awake?”
“I am now,” I had muttered, “what time is it?”
“Time you were up and at ‘em, big man, we have less than an hour before the snow hits and I want to be in Edinburgh by then.”
I had farewelled her a minute later and gotten ready for work, the vision of the partially unbuttoned blouse still skirting the fringes of my consciousness, one of those half remembered dreams that lives on the boundary between reality and fantasy.
***
I killed the engine and stared at the swirling snowflakes.
“Looks like no one’s here,” she murmured as I lit a cigarette.
I shrugged and wound down the window a touch to let the smoke escape.
She shivered slightly.
“Sorry,” I apologized, “I know you don’t smoke.”
“Don’t mind me,” she shot me a wry smile and fluffed out her shoulder length dark hair, “I’d rather breathe your noxious fumes than freeze my arse off out here, this smoking ban can go to hell.”
“Have it your way,” I wound the window up, “I was being, you know.”
“Polite,” she slapped my leg, “this is Scotland, Mark, no need to be so polite.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting.”
“So tell me,” she wiped the condensation from the window, “what do you think of snow now?”
“Not like Western Australia,” I replied, “I had no idea it was so cold, and wet.”
“Frozen water,” she giggled.
I glanced across and smiled. She was the account manager for a leading lingerie supplier, I was her personal assistant. It had been a job I had fallen into completely by mistake when I applied for a job at Davidson & Associates, thinking it was a law office. However upon stepping into the office, I had been confronted with a buxom woman wearing a pink negligee. Fiona had been sitting behind a desk with a camera and a fixed look on her face. The black, satin blouse was open to her cleavage and I found myself riveted on a button, wondering what color bra she was wearing, her breasts were definitely sumptuous and inviting. I had pulled my eyes from them and smiled politely as she leaned back and adjusted her bra strap.
“Not bad, but I think we’ll stick with the black,” she murmured, “black is sexy, peach is bland, what do you think, Mark?”
I coughed.
“Not bad.”
“Sorry, just showing my wares,” the girl beamed.
Fiona apologized once the model had left.
“I knew you were in the other office but I decided to let you walk in,” she fluffed out her hair and adjusted her blouse, “this is a normal day, lots of models walking around with next to nothing, thank God we have central heating and double glazing.”
She undid her cuffs and began folding them.
“So what makes you think you’re capable of working as my personal assistant,” she arched an eyebrow, “granted that you didn’t flinch all that much a few minutes ago.”
“I thought it was a law office,” I tugged at my tie, “I thought it was strange to see pictures of women in sexy lingerie hanging on the walls.”
“You can always leave,” she smiled sardonically, “I tried to get this job listed as an exclusion under equal opportunities, but my lawyer advised me that I could be in hot water if I didn’t at least interview some men for the job.”
She adjusted the cuffs and propped her chin in her hands.
“So now you’re here, what do you think?”
“Well now I’m here,” I folded my arms, “what do you think of having a devilishly handsome young man pandering to your every need.”
Her mouth dropped open in amazement and I restrained a triumphant smirk.
“Now we’re even,” I winked, “shall we start again?”
For a moment I thought I had lost her but then she chuckled merrily.
“I like your style,” she folded her arms, “I have nothing against a male personal assistant, but I was hesitant, due to the fact I would probably attract some peeping tom. It can be hard for a man around here with scantily dressed models walking around the office.”
“Well I do like to look,” I admitted, “but I do have a job to do at the end of the day, don’t I?” I tugged my tie again.
“So, what would my job involve?”
Her eyes shifted and she fluffed out her hair.
“Oh your job,” she shuffled through the papers on her desk and put her glasses on.
“Ah, yes, you will be seeing to my diary. I can’t seem to manage my time, nor do I have the inclination,” she looked up and smiled bravely, “you would also be updating my diary, fielding phone calls, typing letters,” her eyes drifted to the computer monitor, “and sorting out this abysmal database that some numpty with a loud tie and bad breath sold me, I can’t seem to make head nor tail of it. Why is it that computer programs that are designed to make life easier, invariably turn out to be a millstone around our necks?”
She lowered her eyes demurely, “I don’t suppose you’re a database person, are you?”
“Databases just come down to management,” I replied, “I’ve worked with them before, you put data in and hopefully retrieve data at a later date.”
“Quite right,” she grinned wolfishly, “I like putting things in, but I’m afraid getting them out again is a monumental task.”
She giggled and I felt my manhood rise to the occasion as her sumptuous breasts jiggled.
“So I’m hired?” I propped my chin on my hand and fixed her with a steady stare.
She looked past me and then met my gaze smilingly.
“Well maybe you could bring a breeze of fresh air to this enterprise,” she flicked a hand through her hair, “we wear these things because we want to impress a man, perhaps you’d like to offer your opinion?”
I stared down at the selection of basques, corsets, bras and panties.
“Go on,” she leaned forward expectantly and pulled her glasses off, “consider this an interview question, which ones would look good on me?”
I gulped and felt a familiar bulge between my legs, was she serious? I looked into her hazel eyes. Was she mentally undressing me? Her eyes widened a fraction and I detected a faint nervousness in her demeanor, I met her gaze for a split second longer and turned my attention to the lingerie spread out over her desk.
“Hmm,” I held up a G string, “very interesting,” I dropped it and examined a peach-colored bra and panties, “very revealing, crotchless I see.”
“They come with stockings and suspenders,” she replied off handedly.
“Ah,” I picked up a black basque, “black would go with your hair, but not your eyes,” I turned it over and studied it, “not bad though, it would look good under a black blouse.”
She winced slightly as I laid it aside.
I picked up a short, ivory-colored nightgown fastened at the bodice with three cloth-covered buttons and open at the front.
“This is nice, but you need something else,” I flicked through the selection and eventually found a pair of frilly panties and white corset trimmed with frills, a pair of white stockings completed my selection.
“It would be nice with these,” I indicated the stockings.
“Hmm,” she frowned, “why?”
“Because it’s designed to tease and tantalize, the crotchless numbers are for when you’re feeling voracious, but this is subtle. Give him a hint of what he’s going to get, make a man work for his erection and he’ll enjoy it more, so my grandmother always said.”
Our eyes met and she smiled crookedly.
“Okay, I was joking about my grandmother, she was a staunch Methodist, but you get my point.”
“I certainly do,” she took my selections and set them aside.
“You’re hired,” she patted my hand, “I know I’m supposed to interview three others today but after the three dozen people I’ve interviewed this week, all of whom would have died of embarrassment if I’d asked them that question, you’re hired.”
She grabbed her handbag and stood up.
“Come on, let’s get bluttered.”
“Bluttered?”
“Drunk, somewhere between mildly inebriated and smashed out of your skull,” she grinned, “and when I’m too drunk to drive you’re the nominated driver.”
Mairi, one of the receptionists, looked up as we walked into the outer office and offered me a smile as Fiona pulled a light wrap over her blouse.
“Mairi, I’m heading home now. I want you to interview the other three, just take their details and then write rejection letters to all of them, except for this man,” she nodded at me, “draft a letter to Mark Ferguson and offer him the position as personal assistant.”
She glanced at me.
“You can start tomorrow morning, can’t you?”
“Certainly,” I made a quick calculation, “eight thirty?”
“Eight,” she tweaked my cheek, “welcome aboard, “we work hard but we party harder, now let’s do some serious drinking.”
The contract had been signed down at her local pub, a quiet little place down in the Upper Craigs. I discovered that bluttered meant getting drunk and Fiona could drink for Scotland, although she managed to keep her dignity in spite of the five double vodkas she downed. Her off the wall sexual innuendos kept me amused while we drank and when she finally farewelled me, I felt as if I had been laid on the couch and fucked senseless. Fiona could do things with her eyes that left my heart in my mouth, a pity she was married I confessed to a friend that night. The next day when I turned up for work she looked as fresh as if she’d just stepped out of the shower, not even a mention of a hangover, I on the other hand was feeling distinctly off color.
“Did I wear you out?” Fiona shot me a cheeky grin, “that’s a shame, I like a man who can go the distance.”
“I’ll manage,” I smiled bravely.
“Here,” she tossed me a can of soft drink, “it’s Scotland’s other national drink, Irn Bru has cured many a hangover.”
I cracked the can while she stirred her coffee, it tasted a little like orange but with a strange aftertaste, I nodded in approval.
“Not bad.”
Her eyes lit up.
Two hours later I was quietly admitting the wonders of the strange orange tasting drink and we settled into work. By the end of the day I was functioning perfectly and she nodded in approval as she surveyed my work.
“I must admit I had a feel about you,” she patted my shoulder absently, “I can put people off because I’m too upfront, but you came right back without blinking, and your work is first rate. A few mistakes but even perfection like me makes mistakes at least once in our lives.”
Over the next three months I was to discover that she worked me hard but there was always time for laughs and late night drinking sessions. We both shared a passion for strong vodka and double malt. By Christmas, I had to confess that she had worked her way into my heart. I would catch her looking at me now and then, but there was always that distinct dividing line between boss and employee, she would make an excuse and come out with either an off color joke or something work related. But even so I suspected that there was an underlying sexual tension in the office, at times it was so thick you could cut it with a knife. There were other times I thought I could detect a quiet desperation behind the hazel eyes. I knew her marriage was stagnating, drying up before her eyes, and I slipped subtly into another role in the months leading up to Christmas, unpaid counselor. She took advantage of my willingness to talk about sex and different methods. We would switch our conversation to something work related as soon as we were disturbed, but we always returned to it as soon as we were alone. Her questions were endless and I always managed to supply an answer, even if it was to admit that I had never considered that position before. How we never managed to have sex I will never know, we had motive, opportunity and yet, there was always something that happened right at the moment when we could have thrown each other across a desk and gone for it. My Christmas present to her was a fitting tribute, a book on the Kama Sutra, a bottle of massage oil, and edible panties.
“Mark,” she shot me a sly grin, “you shouldn’t have.”
“Surprise your husband,” I had replied, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
***
“Cold?” I looked across.
“A little,” she shivered, “let me try this number, the warehouse opens earlier on Friday.”
We waited while the phone rang out and with a sigh she tossed it down in disgust.
“We ought to find a café somewhere,” I butted the cigarette out, “otherwise I’ll freeze my nuts off, and I hate to lose my nuts in the line of duty.”
She giggled.
“We couldn’t have that, could we?”
I said nothing as I contemplated the somber, brick walls. I had been here a few times. We had to come here at least twice a month to check on the stock held here and look at new ranges. We were the middlemen, supplying big department stores all over the UK and Europe, nothing moved without our knowledge. And yet you would never find us on the fashion pages, that was reserved for the glamor models, designers and sellers, we were the go betweens, we just took the money and moved the stock. In some ways it was almost passionless to move ten thousand units, read edible G strings from one side of the country to the other.
“I can turn the heating on if you like, but it’s going to get too hot.”
“Well, we couldn’t have a lingerie supplier getting too hot, could we?”
I smiled weakly.
“So,” she managed a minute later, “what do you do when you’re not working for me?”
“Sit at home and try to ignore Eastenders.”
“Now that’s a first,” she mused, “most people can’t get by without their nightly fix of Easties.”
“You watch that stuff?” I turned and stared.
“Aye,” her cheeks flushed, “it gives me something to look at while I’m ironing my work clothes and playing with my minch.”
“Your minch?” I frowned.
“My pussy,” she giggled, “we call a pussy, a hairy minch.”
“Oh,” I grinned and ran an eye over the black suit and white blouse, “and very nicely pressed too, you can iron mine while you’re at it, I hate ironing.”
“You’ll keep,” she grinned playfully.
“Looking forward to my holiday,” I changed the subject abruptly, “Amsterdam is looking good but it’s a toss up between Amsterdam and Majorca.”
“Ooh, Majorca sounds good,” she shivered, “warm beaches, blue skies, I love the beach.”
“Plenty of beaches in Australia,” I replied, “I spent a few months working in Broome.”
“Where’s that?”
“Northwestern Australia,” I brushed ash from my trousers, “it’s an old pearling town, but it’s so out of the way you pretty much get left to your own devices.