Lean into me now and feel any resistance you still have melt away when my lips brush against your skin. 

No one knows about us and no one has to. At times, you think this is wrong because of that, something like a sinister ghost that will hover over both of us long after we part. 

But you and I are not ghosts. We are not phantoms to one another. Here.... place your warm hand over my heart, the part of me that you have called cold and absent before. Do you feel it now?

Through the contact of bare, familiar skin, you can feel the beating life that my flesh contains. 

And as you feel that rapid pounding, our lips meet again. No longer tentative as the first few kisses are between us, as if feeling my heartbeat against your palm is the catalyst to speed your body up, to make every motion fluid. 
Tongues seek one another, lap around and swirl. Your moans are the wordless murmurs of some lost language rediscovered in our mouths. They may be incantations you wish to fuse my breath with, practiced sounds committed to memory that summon the most primal urges in me. 

I've often wondered if the way you initially resist my advances are part of a plan, stage directions in a secret script you've written and carefully memorized. Like telling me you're an angel as you wink at me. 

You know that once I begin to peel off your top and jeans that suddenly pausing this momentum will only make this ache flare even more. 

My hand glides along your hip and I groan when you press against me, my bare length throbbing from the pressure, the teasing heat of your covered sex. Grinding against me, I catch that mischievous glimmer in the gorgeous orbs of your eyes, the ones that look wintergreen with the moonlight splashing over them. The ones that have a hold over me beyond anything I know. 

I almost see sparks in them. Just a momentary shimmer from the moon's glow. You grin and must see the same thing in my eyes, the ones you've said look like shiny onyx and are sweeter than I really ever let on. 

We're like sparks chasing one another, the slightest detonation of two raw elements in close proximity. We barely possess any true understanding of the countless signals inside that guide us, but we reel in their immediacy. 

My hand curves and reaches between your legs when you stop, moving along the soft thin material that covers the nexus of where your heat emanates from. 

A slow caress, fingertips trailing up and down, slightly harder each time until I feel moisture beginning to seep through. Even that slight increase of pressure draws a sound from you, somewhere between a faint gasp and a hiss, the sound like veiled consent as your mouth pulls away for a moment. 

I feel hot breath coat my face as your head gestures towards your bed. The rest of our clothes are lost along the way, a pile twined as naturally together as you and I always are when we have these stolen moments all to ourselves. Our own little pocket of the universe where we will never judge one another for what we crave. 

The cool surface of the bed is almost too jarring against our skin as we lie on our sides. There's another moment that almost seems paused again and I wonder what races through your mind. 

At one time, the idea of crossing any physical borders was so alien. Over time, though, as we grew closer, lustful flashes began to transpire along with the bond we always felt. In those microscopic secret moments where we developed the urge to be more, something beautiful began to bloom. 

A glint of fear still lives in your eyes, though, and it makes you even more beautiful to me that you want to preserve the bond we share. And joining this way again can obliterate it if we're not careful.

For as much as we joke about almost everything, it's in these moments I see just how serious you are about some things. I see how fragile you may be beneath what you show everyone. It's a fraction of your persona that you rarely let others see and get close to. I would ask what makes me so different, then, but the answer is so simple and I think you see it. I'm just like you. You read that in my eyes and it's all you need to resume motion.

I feel your body beginning to wrap around mine, braiding our limbs together. You shiver against me as my lips find and travel up your neck. Rippled with gooseflesh all over, your hard nipples brush against mine, rigid buds that plead for more contact. Your leg hooks over my hip and you pull yourself closer.

The wave of heat, now free, makes me twitch below, makes my body act on pure reflex. I run my hand down your neck and move my lips to yours again, deeply kissing while I run a nail over that sensitive spot on and below the collarbone that always melts you. I want to keep touching there, but can't take the tingling friction brushing against my chest.

When I seize your nipple between my fingers and squeeze around the hardened nub, you shiver again and more goosebumps form. They're raised so profusely on your skin that I could probably count every single one of them with the pads of my fingers as if I'm reading braille along your naked form, the story that your body longs to tell me.

My hips move forward almost at the same time yours do again. Hot wet folds push against my swollen head, intensifying the delirious pressure that thrums from tip to root and beyond inside. It's a warmth that hums and travels to the base of the spine, seems to spread through my entire bloodstream.

Instinctively, my hips start to rock with yours, moaning when my tip slides up and against the engorged, pulsing flesh of your clit. I resist the urge to push harder into it and just savor our push and pull, the meeting of countless raw nerves electrified, teased with slick friction.

Our concentrated pulses below quicken in this rhythm, strain and swell through the skin to feel more.

I don't how long we remain this way for, our dance of tongues and rocking hips oblivious to time's passage.

I cannot measure time here and only recognize shifts in positions and velocities. Breaking away from our kiss and catching our breath. A few final grinds where you drive your body harder than before. Everything is too slick and slippery below to have any clue where each grind will exactly tease. During the very last one, I shiver when your lips push apart and seal over my head, welcoming me with a squeeze as your inner muscles flex around me.

For just a moment, I swear that I can see your mouth curve into a pleased grin, beaming at the fact that I am yours, that no one could make me so possessed with need. As if you can hear this frantic thought, you clench my head once more and all I can do is shiver uncontrollably as the sensation sends hot bolts of pleasure through my yearning column.

I barely have any time to register the expression, though. You are just as calculating as you claim I am.

Even more so.

You know exactly when to overwhelm me with sensation. When to pull back just a little and then, before I've a chance to feel breath flood my lungs once more, relentlessly advance once more to gradually bring us to an apex we cannot turn away from.

I feel one arm hook around my leg. Your palm finds my lower back as you turn my body with yours, lying back and pulling me on top of you.

Little wisps of light seem to dance across your eyes when mine lock with yours once again. While it may be nothing more than the rush taking us, and the light striking you at a particular angle, it's like your desire is an entity, a living energy strobing through your stare.

A grin forms when you grip me below, making my legs tremble with a tight squeeze that releases a thick warm bead. I feel that trembling through my entire body when your thumb meets my tip and smears it in a slow circle along sensitive skin. As you rub along me, I feel your heat again, calling out to me. Your scent is every particle of air I know now.

We both know that this will not last long. There have been times when we've had hours to ourselves. Times when we could explore the other all night. Like slow burning candles, we were able to patiently lose ourselves in fire. This is different, though, an urgency in every touch saying that this will be more like a blaze that will consume us.

Your body tells me this.

You no longer tease now, no push and pull left because you can no longer delay the need to be taken. As much as you hesitate, all paths we trace always lead to this very moment and your eyes still me again. The mysteries I see in them that I may never solve or get close enough to truly know the shape of. I know what your eyes are telling me.

We can't turn back now. Once we touch, we're never able to stop ourselves. I'm the one that pushed past your initial hesitation, yes, but I'm following your lead. Even though your bare body lies just beneath mine, even though you are spreading your most delicate place open, I've never really been the one in control.

You become the guide for a moment in this dim bedroom, the same bedroom where I lost myself with you for the first time not so long ago. The time since then has not dulled my hunger for you. Our imminent separation each time only heightens it.

Your hand gently pulls me forward and releases as I ease myself into the tight grip of your quivering liquid heat. Your hips roll a little to make me disappear farther inside of you and I feel another possessive clench around my length, one of the ways you tell me that I'm yours.

We kiss again as I move inside of you, each thrust met with your hips lifting. Your tongue circles mine in an endless dance, digging into my hair and holding so tight that each follicle is electrified with a nameless sensation somewhere between pleasure and pain.

The sensation drives me deeper and faster into you, each thrust becoming more vigorous, more animalistic. I see you immediately respond to the change in the rhythm, two fingers rubbing your tender clit in an almost furious blur. You bite your lower lip and steel your eyes to mine again. Teeth lift from that luscious lip and your mouth curves into a pleased grin as your name flows from me in a helpless moan, a guttural chant.

I see your eyes sparkling with lust, with a possessiveness that's impossible to shape words around. It's expressed in the way you pull at my hair. In the way your legs have become a tight lock around me. In the way your inner walls squeeze tighter around me now every second, your sex mirroring our desire to forget patience, to reel in our need.

You get closer and closer. I feel your body beginning to tense up beneath me, muscles tightening inside like coils compressing inwards, ready to spring free. I always liken it to the serene calm before a storm, everything pausing while forces beyond our control gather and get ready to detonate through the sky.

And when the moment arrives, the one I wish to deliver you to, I'm still caught by surprise.

Your legs tighten again as you cry out and seize me, tender flesh flooding, molten, like an exploding fissure. The searing wet heat, your body trembling in ripples of ecstasy, send me over the edge.

I can only hold on for a few more short thrusts, almost entirely outside of myself, an entity made of feverish heavy breaths and nerve endings reaching supernova.

I burst inside you seconds later, thick hot stands of my release flooding your tight channel. You always find a precise sync with me, clenching with each magnified pulse to milk every drop that I have left.

Your arms slip around and hold me close, my safe harbor during the tremors that grip me everywhere.

Reaching such a frenzied apex always blurs out the world for moments. Your warm skin is the lifeline that tethers me here, helps me find gravity and breath again.

Time passes by in blinks that neither of us seem aware of. There's nowhere to go tonight. No one knows we're here, still connected. There's no discussion of what we should do now. When we disentangle, you turn and pull a blanket over us and whisper for me to come closer.

I spoon with your silhouette, our bodies still so warm as we come down. My arm curls around your waist, just below your breasts, and I can still feel your heartbeat as it gradually slows down from release, from the aftershocks that shiver through us.

It's the first time we've both decided to sleep in the same bed.

I don't even think about leaving. Everything feels right with you. I always sense distance with others, whether it's them or just me. Part of my problem with getting close to others is that I can be seen as cold at times. My mind is more suited to understand numbers, angles, formulas.... trusting the tangible and what can be proven. With people, it's all guesswork. Gauging and missteps. Seeing angles and shapes that may not exist in someone and being unable to let go and lose myself.

It's always been different with you, though. You see a darkness in me and never entirely flee from it. You cautiously touch around the edges, step inside, and always find me in the dark. What I think makes you stay is that, somewhere inside, you see light. In the same way I see more beauty in you the closer we get, we see more reasons to stay when our hesitation falls away.

Whatever happens between us, I hope we never lose sight of that, of the effortless closeness we have together. As if reading my mind, your hand squeezes mine gently as you begin to float off into sleep. I snuggle closer and squeeze back, ready to drift off, too.

Before that, I want at least a few minutes more just like this with you. I want you to fall asleep knowing that I'll be here holding you, that we'll wake up still entwined this way.

I can't think of a more perfect way to return to the waking world.