She had nothing to be thankful for…

As vacationers flocked to the area for the Thanksgiving holiday, Kelly sat on the beach, looking at the water. Sitting on this powdery sand and staring into the blue-green water made things seem less distressful. She could almost feel the pain that held her heart captive swept away like coquinas that washed back and forth after each wave. Sometimes, the misery burrowed deep in her soul, much like when those tiny, multicolored clams didn’t follow the tide out and had to dig down into the sand, waiting for the tide to come back in.

Life seemed to be a series of waiting, wishing, burrowing, and hoping to be carried away. At least it had since she’d moved here, trying desperately to start over again.

Had it only been two years ago that she and Devon had walked this beach, hand in hand, on their honeymoon? A single tear broke away from the pool of emotions swimming in her eyes and rolled down her cheek.

They’d been so fucking happy! It had been an intimate but beautiful wedding, and the happy couple spent their honeymoon practically naked for a week, having copious amounts of incredible sex. Nothing mattered in the world except the two of them.

Shortly after they returned home to the real world, they discovered it would be the three of them as neither had bothered with any birth control. Deliriously ecstatic about welcoming a baby, they planned and prepared while Kelly’s abdomen began to show the telltale signs of a womb that bloomed with new life.

Pregnancy hormones took her already horny libido and made her insatiable. Devon enjoyed the changes in her body as if the universe sculpted a new treasure for him every week. The curve of her hips enticed him, and the swell of her ever-growing breasts made his loins ache. Kelly was delighted that he found her pregnant body just as sexy, if not more so.

Then, the unthinkable happened. Kelly wrapped her arms around her knees and shivered despite the hot sun that beat down on this unseasonably warm day. The weather wasn’t the cause of her sudden chill, but rather the memory of waking up in the hospital confused and frustrated because no one would tell her how she’d ended up there.

When the kindly doctor finally poked his head into the room, he had a mournful expression that told Kelly her world was about to be shattered.

What she couldn’t know in that moment was just how completely her life had been blown to bits.

There’d been an accident; a drunk driver in a big pickup truck ran a red light and smashed into Devon’s convertible. Kelly had been the only survivor. The intoxicated driver had blown a 0.45 on the Breathalyzer test, and while he’d survived the crash, he suffered a brain bleed and died in surgery. Devon had been killed instantly, and Kelly miscarried when their car had rolled over.

Unable to afford their house on her own, she sold it and found a little rental on the beach. The landlord, a local artist named John, lived in the equally tiny place next door and was gone a lot. He reduced the rent price in exchange for the unrestricted use of her half of the shared patio that overlooked the beach for the art classes he held a couple of times a week. Although it was tiny, it came with a gorgeous view.

Sitting on the beach, she watched as the fiery sun dipped into the water, ending another day without Devon. When she walked toward her little shack, the painting party was finishing, so she oohed and aahed politely over the canvasses of each of the participants. The group was primarily middle-aged women, but there was a guy who looked to be in his early thirties and easy on the eyes.

On the surface, he looked out of place in the sea of whitened teeth, fake boobs, and Botoxed lips. Yet, he seemed wonderfully at ease sipping Moscato and laughing with the ladies. Not overtly flirty—at least not on his end—but certainly friendly.

He looked over at Kelly and smiled. The intensity of his gaze made her stomach flutter. She didn’t even know this man, but a simple glance had created a heat inside her that she hadn’t felt in so long. He was ruggedly handsome, his T-shirt accentuating his muscular arms and chest. His striking good looks were completed with long, sun-streaked hair, a tanned face, and mischievous green eyes. A pang of guilt and shame accompanied the attraction she felt.

“I’m Jake,” he said, noticing the sudden shift in her demeanor. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable somehow.”

Trying not to gawk at him, she introduced herself. “I’m Kelly, John’s neighbor. You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m just…” Her words trailed off. She had no idea how to finish her sentence. So, she switched gears. “Your painting looks like it was done professionally. Do you paint often?”

Jake grinned. “I come here now and again to spend an evening enjoying the gorgeous sunsets rather than sitting home alone.”

Kelly inhaled sharply. She knew exactly what that felt like. She felt unbearably sad at the thought of staring at the second-hand nineteen-inch television for a few hours before trading that in for a night of lying awake counting the holes in the tiles of the dingy drop ceiling. She wanted to respond but didn’t trust herself not to cry if she tried to answer. Instead, she nodded as misery swam in her eyes.

Jake gathered his things and was about to leave. “Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Kelly. You should paint with us tomorrow.”

“Sounds nice, but I can’t afford it.”

“Come as my guest. I promise I don’t bite.”

“Thanks, that’s sweet, but I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

Jake laughed, and it made Kelly yearn to touch him.

“Sitting next to me at a painting class on the beach hardly constitutes a date. I would just appreciate having someone to talk to who was born in the same decade as me. Not that these ladies aren’t sweethearts, but the divorcees and the widows look at me like they’d like to eat me up in big, greedy bites, and it’s a bit unnerving at times.”

She felt herself go flush with embarrassment and need. Hadn’t she just thought the same thing? Trying to lighten things up, she raised an eyebrow and asked, “So, you need a bodyguard?”

“Something like that,” he chuckled. “I promise to behave.”

Kelly nodded, doing her best to keep her traitorous body from blurting out that she wished he wouldn’t behave. She felt a lust wash over her but managed to keep her voice calm. “I guess I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at painting. Thanks.”

“I’ll see you here tomorrow at 5:00 pm, then.”

She nodded and waved before slipping into her door and closing it behind her. She headed straight back to her bedroom and slipped into a nightshirt. Grabbing the remote, she turned on the TV and started flipping channels. But television wouldn’t push the thoughts of wanting Jake to touch her out of her mind.

Giving in to her reawakened sexual desires, she let her fingers slide between her slick labia and dip into her nectar. How long had it been since she’d touched herself?

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to imagine these were Jake’s fingers teasing her sensitive little nub as she pleasured herself for the first time since Devon’s death. She edged herself, wanting this incredible feeling to last as long as possible.

When she finally succumbed to an intense orgasm, her body thrashed around while her pussy sprayed her delicious juices, drenching her hand. But it wasn’t Devon’s name that she cried out at the peak of her climax; it was Jake’s.

Whether it was fatigue or the blissful afterglow of sweet release, she slept better than she had in months.

The following day, Kelly fretted about her plans with Jake. She should cancel. No, she shouldn’t have said yes in the first place, but canceling would be rude. Not to mention cowardly. She quickly put it out of her mind and dove into her work. Fortunately, it was a busy day, and she had little time to dwell on things.

At the end of the workday, she rushed home to take a quick shower. As her long, wavy, red locks air-dried, she swiped on a bit of mascara and lip gloss. With the temps dipping lower as the sun made its way closer to the horizon, she threw on a pair of jeans, pairing them with a tank top and a hoodie that she zipped up only part of the way. She slipped her feet into her slides and headed out to the patio area where John was setting up for the class.

“Need any help?” Kelly asked casually.

John was stunned. “Umm, sure. Thanks! You can put these blank canvasses on each of the easels. Jake said you were painting today. It’s cool that you want to join us.”

“He sort of sprung the idea on me, and I couldn’t think of a good reason to say no,” Kelly admitted as she carefully placed the canvasses on each easel.

“Whatever the reason, I’m glad you will be hanging out with people.”

Kelly nodded apprehensively. “I suppose I’ve been a bit of a mugwump.”

“It’s hard to blame you, Kel; you’ve been through a lot. Don’t worry about Jake; he’s a genuinely nice guy.”

“Thanks, John.”

When Jake arrived, Kelly was pouring herself a glass of wine.

“Pour one for me?”

“You drink this on purpose? You look like more of a beer guy.”

Jake frowned. “I enjoy beer, but wine seems better suited for painting a sunset.”

Kelly poured him a glass and handed it to him.

“You’ve painted a lot of sunsets, I imagine. What do you do with them all?”

Before Jake could answer, John announced he was ready to start the class.

Feeling awkward at first, Kelly hesitated before putting the brush to the canvas for the first step. Her tentative strokes looked nothing like the ones in John’s example. She set the brush down and said, “This was a mistake.”

Jake’s lips pursed as he let out a heavy sigh. This was going to be more difficult than he’d anticipated.

“You’re not giving up that easily, are you?” he asked.

Kelly looked over at Jake, expecting to see some sign of exasperation. Patient, kind eyes looked back at her and said, “This is meant to be fun. Don’t worry about how it turns out. Just enjoy doing something a little bit out of your comfort zone.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”

“You’re holding back; just let yourself feel what you see, and that will help you get more into painting.”

Nodding, Kelly took a few deep breaths and picked the brush back up again. Eventually, it felt less cumbersome, and the canvas before her started to resemble a sunset. She glanced at Jake momentarily and discovered he was gazing at her. It took her breath away.

“I think I’m getting the hang of this,” she said, trying to chase away the feelings of arousal by focusing on the activity at hand. “I’m glad you encouraged me not to give up.”

“I couldn’t let you leave. Who would protect me from the widows and the divorcees?” he joked.

“Are you so sure that I’ll keep you safe? After all, I’m a widow,” Kelly said, making a clumsy attempt at small talk.

“Oh? Sorry to hear that. I imagine that’s been a difficult road to navigate.”

Though his comment wasn’t all that different from what most well-meaning people said, it didn’t have the tone of pity that usually accompanied the words.

“It’s been a bitch,” she blurted out. She followed it up with a nervous laugh, hoping she hadn’t come across as crude.

“Well, then. I imagine it’s been a while since you’ve had much joy in your life. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

“Nothing. What do I have to be thankful for?” she answered bitterly, her mood growing instantly dark. Feeling a wave of irritation wash over her, she suddenly wanted desperately to be alone. “And, while this ‘painting while I sit next to you’ thing has been fun, I can’t imagine being good company for anyone on Thanksgiving. So, thanks for the offer, but no thanks.”

“Offer of what?” he asked, frowning.

Kelly felt foolish. She’d assumed he was inviting her to spend Thanksgiving with him. It never occurred to her that he might be inquiring about her plans to make small talk. She stood there in awkward silence.

Jake inhaled sharply. “Look, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression; I wasn’t asking you out on a date. You made it clear yesterday that you weren’t ready for that. I just wanted to know if you’d be interested in volunteering at the Soup Kitchen up in Clearwater on Thursday. If you are, let me know. We can always use an extra set of hands.

Kelly felt a mix of emotions swirling around that were hard to identify. She wanted to be angry at him, but only because she needed someone to be angry with besides the drunk driver who’d stolen her life. Yet, he was offering her a way to do something besides wallowing in self-pity and despair while others around her celebrated things for which they were grateful.

“I’m sorry; that was exceedingly presumptuous of me. Sure, I’ll lend a hand on Thursday. What time?”

“I usually go early to help prepare the meal, so if you want to ride with me, I will pick you up at 6:30.”

“A.M.?”

“Yes. If that’s too early…"

“No, 6:30 is fine. What should I wear?”

“Jeans and a shirt that you don’t mind getting dirty. Making turkey and all the fixings can be a greasy, grimy business. We provide aprons there, but to be on the safe side, I wouldn’t wear your Sunday best.”

“We?”

“The St. Vincent de Paul Soup Kitchen; I’m a regular volunteer there.”

Kelly allowed a hint of a smile to adorn her weary face. Jake continued to be an enigma to her.

“Who are you, Jake?”

“Just a guy who feels the need to give back to his community. And one who hates doing things alone—especially on Thanksgiving. So, thanks for agreeing to be my soup kitchen buddy for the holiday. I find that when I struggle to recognize the good in my life, it helps to spend time with others who are grateful for my being there to offer a meal, lend an ear, and occasionally sing a song.”

“Jesus, you sing, too?”

“Jake, not Jesus. Yes, I sing. I used to do so professionally. Now it’s more of a hobby.”

“What do you do for work?”

“This and that,” he said, being purposely vague. “How about you?”

“My day job is being a receptionist at a real estate office, and I work at the bar across the street some nights.”

Jake nodded. “Well, I have to go, but I’ll see you bright and squirrelly on Thursday.”

“Thanks; see you then.”

She had initially meant to help John clean up. But her emotions threatened to consume her, so she scurried inside, barely making it before the first tear fell.

She spent the short week working days at the real estate office and evenings at the bar. Before she knew it, it was Thursday morning, and her alarm was blaring Wham’s ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.’ She woke, startled, and wiped the sleep from her eyes while she dragged herself out of bed on Thanksgiving morning. She discovered that she did have something to be grateful for after all. Going to the soup kitchen to make and serve a meal to others was a fabulous distraction.

After gulping some tea, she showered quickly and wrapped her hair in a towel. Remembering that Jake told her to wear clothes she didn’t mind getting dirty, she shimmied herself into a pair of jeans and threw on her gray Mickey Mouse T-shirt. She grabbed an old Spring Break sweatshirt, as the early morning air was a bit crisp, and, since she’d be on her feet all day, she completed her ensemble with a comfy pair of socks and her gray, slip-on Skechers.

Kelly debated whether to bother with makeup, ultimately deciding a little mascara and lip gloss would be enough. She wound her long hair up in a high bun, took a last look in the mirror, and reminded herself that this wasn’t a date.

She grabbed her keys and went outside to wait for Jake, locking the door behind her and tossing the keys in her crossbody purse with her cell phone and the tube of lip gloss to reapply later if the mood struck her. Then she propped herself against the streetlamp pole and waited for her ride.

Jake pulled up in a white Chrysler 300 that should have looked like an old man’s car. But the sleek pinstriping and sporty wheels made it somehow sexy.

Kelly opened the door, got in, and ensured her seatbelt was securely fastened.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten anything, and you can’t cook on an empty stomach, so I hope you like doughnuts. I wasn’t sure what kind you like, so I got a bunch of different kinds,” Jake said, grabbing the box from the back seat and handing it to Kelly.

Opening the box nearly triggered an orgasm. The scent of gooey goodness made her sigh; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had anything with this many calories. She selected a glazed, sour cream doughnut and embarrassed herself by moaning with the first bite.

“Oh, my God, Jake. These are fucking fantastic!” she raved as she gobbled the rest of the sweet treat in two more bites.

Jake’s brow furrowed. “It’s a Dunkin Donut, Kel, not a pastry from Frieda’s.”

She licked the glaze from her fingers and realized too late that Jake was staring at her intently.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve indulged like this. Would it be rude of me to have another?”

He laughed, “There’s ten more choices in that box. Help yourself.”

Jake watched as Kelly enjoyed the cheap pastry as if it were a succulent gourmet meal from a five-star restaurant. It tugged at his heart that she considered a glazed doughnut to be a delicacy.

When she continued to moan and suck the white, sticky glaze from her fingers, the tug Jake felt was in his balls. It had been centuries since he’d felt aroused like this. He needed to tuck those thoughts away. But it was all he could do to not lick her fingers for her.

When they arrived at the soup kitchen, the place was already buzzing with helpers. Kelly felt herself sigh as she noticed the walls were adorned with various paintings of sunsets that brightened up the otherwise stark room.

As they got into the swing of things, Kelly found herself enjoying this volunteer opportunity. It reminded her that Thanksgiving was more than just stuffing your face with turkey and stuffing. By midday, she started to realize that, despite her devastating loss, she still had much for which to be thankful. Jake was kind and funny, joking around with her and making the people who came to the center for the free meal feel like cherished, welcome guests. What should have been an awkward situation felt so natural, and by the end of their shift, it was as if they’d known each other for years.

On the drive back to her place, Kelly wondered if she should ask Jake to stay for a drink. Just yesterday that would have seemed disloyal to Devon. But the day they’d just spent together, helping others, put a different spin on things for her. She wasn’t necessarily ready to date this man, but she was ready to consider that he might be the kind of man she’d like to get to know better.

“Hey, I’ve got a bottle of Moscato in my fridge if you’d like to stick around for a bit,” Kelly said, feeling a little festive as he walked her from his car to her door.

“I’d love to, but may I have a raincheck? I’m exhausted, and I’m afraid a glass of wine will put me right to sleep at this point.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Kelly stumbled over her words, feeling foolish. She’d thought he’d felt the attraction, too, but apparently, the innocent innuendos were just Jake being friendly.

Sensing her disappointment but simultaneously grateful for it, he added, “I’ve been up since 4:00 this morning, so I doubt very much I’d be great company.”

“Why so early?”

“I had to stop at Dunkin Donuts and spend half an hour picking out a dozen different kinds of doughnuts I thought you might like. From the sound of your reaction, I’d say that I selected well.”

Kelly blushed, remembering how she’d sounded like she was having an orgasm when she ate the decadent treat this morning.

Jake grinned at her and laughed. “It was a good way to start the day. Although it feels like this morning was a few days ago.”

“Yes, you may,” Kelly said quietly.

“Yes, I may what?”

“Have a raincheck. I felt more alive today than I have in months. I’d like to be friends with the person who showed me I’m still me inside.”

“We’re already friends, Kelly. But I enjoy your company, so I wouldn’t say no to hanging out on the beach this Saturday—as friends. I’ll bring some beers, and we can grab some chairs from John.”

“I’d like that.”

Saturday afternoon got off to a lovely start; the sun shone, and a nice breeze blew gently off the gulf. It was too cool to swim, but Jake and Kelly sat in cut-off jeans and T-shirts with their toes in the sand, drank beers, and talked about everything and anything. Kelly told stories about coming to the beach when she was a little girl, and Jake carefully shared his past as a traveling musician and how hard life on the road had been.

“So, what do you do for a living now?” she asked, realizing she knew very little about Jake.

“I’m pretty well set from the money I earned as a singer since I invested wisely, but I do handyman jobs here and there,” he answered.

“Most guys would have spent the money on booze, drugs, and women,” Kelly joked. “But somehow, I’m not surprised you saved your earnings.”

Jake shrugged. “I don’t do drugs; I only drink an occasional beer or glass of wine, and I’ve never paid for the pleasure of a woman’s company.”

“I didn’t mean to imply you would have hired prostitutes; I meant spending money on dates,” Kelly clarified, hoping she hadn’t offended him.

He smiled. Then, looking over his shoulder, he frowned. “The sky has turned dark. We should pull up stakes before the storm.”

“I didn’t think it was supposed to rain this afternoon,” Kelly said, disappointed that their beach day was being cut short. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in so long.

Suddenly, the clouds opened, and it began to pour. By the time they had the chairs folded and made it up to Kelly’s porch, they were drenched.

“Oh, damn, that storm came on quickly. Then again, that’s typical in Florida. Come on in and get dried off,” Kelly said.

“I don’t want to drip all over your floor.”

“I’m going to be dripping all over my floor, so stop arguing and get inside.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, grinning.

Grabbing some beach towels, she said, “Here, take off your clothes and wrap yourself in this. I’ll throw your stuff in the dryer while we wait out the storm.”

Jake felt his cock twitch. He didn’t know if he could trust himself to be near Kelly while he was naked under a towel. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not. I don’t mind if you drip on the floor, but I do mind if you sit on my couch in wet clothes.”

Jake nodded and watched as Kelly headed to her bedroom to strip off her soaked clothing. The door didn’t shut all the way, so he found himself inadvertently getting a glimpse of her spectacular ass. He was silently thankful that the beach towel was big enough to hide the involuntary erection—his body’s reaction to seeing more than he should have seen. He chastised himself for not looking away, as a true gentleman would have done. But then again, he was no angel.

Kelly returned in an oversized shirt that stopped about mid-thigh. She looked so innocent standing there with her wet hair plastered to her head and her feet snugly tucked into fuzzy socks. She saw Jake looking at the socks and grinned. “Want a pair?” she asked playfully. “They’re very stretchy. I hate it when my feet are cold.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Kelly felt her insides flutter. He was more than good. He was…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a crackle of lightning, followed by the boom of thunder.

“Holy hell, the storm is right on top of us!”

“Guess I’ll have to hang out here for a while if you don’t mind.”

“I’d appreciate the company. Storms like this are discomforting.”

“Come sit on the couch and let me comfort you then,” Jake said without thinking.

Their eyes met; for a moment, nothing else existed in the world but the two of them—she, with her broken heart, and him, with his lonely soul.

“Jake, if I sit that close to you, I’m bound to want you to kiss me,” she admitted.

He wanted very much to say, “Well, then, it’s a good thing that I want to hold you in my arms and taste your lips.” But the words that came out of his mouth were, “I promise to behave.”

Disappointed, Kelly grabbed two beers from the fridge and plopped down on the couch next to Jake. The sexual tension in the room was thicker than any knife could have cut, but they drank their beers and made small talk, both denying themselves what they wanted most—to touch each other.

Once the storm had passed, he smiled politely and said, “I should grab my clothes and go.”

Kelly nodded. If he stayed any longer, she would make a fool out of herself and beg him to take her to bed.

“See you soon,” he said as he walked out the door.

“Yeah, sure,” she replied.

When he had gone, she grabbed the empty beer bottles, eyeing one shamefully. Rinsing it out, she took it back to the bedroom, grabbed her vibrating wand, and stripped off her shirt. She lay on the bed, closed her eyes, and spread her legs. While the wand worked its magic on her hard little nub, she inserted the neck of the bottle into her pussy and imagined it was Jake fucking her.

She started slowly, but soon was fucking herself with the bottle like a needy little slut, calling out the name of the man she wanted desperately. “Oh, God, yes, Jake! Fuck me! Fuck me hard!”

She imagined him pushing into her as the bottle impaled her again and again until her back arched and her juices sprayed. “Holy fuck!” she cried out as she came, then collapsed on the bed, panting.

Several days went by without a word from Jake. She was both disappointed and annoyed.

The next time she saw him, he was painting with a group of senior citizens, all women, and being his congenial self.

Kelly walked past the painters to head inside and heard Jake’s voice.

“Hey, Kelly,” he called out to her as he smiled widely. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“I live here,” she replied sardonically. “You never called me.”

“Was I supposed to call you?” he asked, frowning.

“Never mind,” she said impatiently and went inside.

He didn’t follow her as she thought he might. She admonished her reflection in the mirror, realizing it hurt to know he wasn’t that into her.

A while later, she heard a knock on the glass sliding door. Looking up from the leftover pizza she was eating, she motioned for him to come in.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you, Kelly.”

“It’s fine; you never said you were going to call. I just had some ridiculous notion that you might want to. Am I crazy? Or do you just not feel what I feel?”

“You’re not crazy. It’s just… complicated.”

“Let me guess, you’re married.”

“I’m not married. And no, to the question you were too polite to ask, I’m not gay. I’m just not in a place where I can give you what you need.”

“And how would you know what I need, Jake? Are you a fucking mind reader?” she asked curtly.

He ignored her crass behavior. “Kelly, you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. You’re kind, funny, beautiful inside and out, and you are so easy to talk to…”

“But…”

“But I think my lack of ability to commit to you would only frustrate and hurt you.”

“I don’t need a steady boyfriend, Jake. I need a man in my bed. One to show me I haven’t forgotten how to be a woman.”

He was stunned by her bluntness and wondered if she even realized how much more she needed than that. But his loins ached, and his body responded. With his bulge threatening to burst out of its confinement, he looked at her with lust. “I think you need more than that, Kelly; more than I can offer. But if you need a man in your bed to address your carnal needs, I’d be happy to oblige you.”

It was an odd way to offer to fuck her, but the swollen labia of her needy pussy answered for her. “Take me to bed and fuck me, Jake.”

He should say no. He should leave and never come back. But he was a man of honor and duty. He’d chosen to help her find her way. If it meant fleshly pleasures, then who was he to deny her what she craved?

“I can’t promise you more, but I’ll give you what you need for tonight,” he said softly, knowing this was a bad idea. Hadn’t he always been able to keep himself in check? Why was it different with Kelly?

He took her hand and led her to her bedroom, shutting the door. He pulled her into a passionate embrace and kissed her so thoroughly she thought she’d melt. He stopped momentarily and said, “If at any time you change your mind and realize you don’t want this, you need only speak up, and I will stop.”

“I want this, Jake; I need this!”

Saying nothing, he stood next to the bed with her and undressed her slowly. She returned the favor, unable to prevent herself from staring at his rigid shaft that stood up to greet her. She slid to the floor and knelt before him. Taking his stiff cock into her hands, she guided it to her lips.

Years of denying himself this hedonistic pleasure melted away as she took him into her hot, wet mouth. It felt like he had died and gone to heaven, despite the unlikelihood of that ever happening. While her fingers deftly played with his aching sac, he found his own fingers entwined with her soft, red curls. Soon, he was encouraging her to take him more deeply, with his hands gently moving her head. She purred with him lodged in her throat, and the sensations were so intense that he felt his balls constrict.

She sensed that the vibrations were driving him wild, and continued humming and moaning until he was simply unable to hold back any longer. Driving himself into her eager, willing mouth, he let his seed shoot down her throat.

“I’m so sorry, it’s been a while and…”

“I’m not sorry,” Kelly cut his apology short. “I enjoyed rocking your world.” She got up, lay on the bed, and looked at him seductively. “You’re welcome to return the favor if you’re so inclined.”

Jake joined her and kissed her softly on the lips. “I’d be delighted to try to bring you even half the pleasure you just bestowed upon me.”

Kelly lay back and opened her legs for him. He kissed her inner thighs, eliciting moans of erotic bliss. When his tongue finally landed on her clit, she was in ecstasy. Her body moved rhythmically with his talented mouth as he brought to life sensations that had been too long neglected. Her hips rocked, and her back arched as she quenched his thirst with her sweet nectar.

He drew her into him, cuddling her as she snuggled close to his chest. Listening to his heart beating, Kelly became acutely aware of how much she missed being with a man like this. Not just for the sex, although Jake had seriously stellar oral skills, but for the closeness and simple intimacy. She felt tears threatening as she realized that no one had held her like this since before Devon’s life was cut horrifically short.

Her hand moved to her abdomen, and she felt anguish wash over her as she recalled the intense pain of losing her baby. Not the physical pain as much as the emotional angst and torment of knowing the child she wanted so much would never be born.

Sensing her change in mood, Jake held tighter and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “If you want me to go, I will. But I’d much rather stay here and comfort you.”

His kindness undid her, and silent tears dampened his chest as she draped her arm across his torso. “Please stay.”

When her tears subsided, she allowed her hand to wander to his manhood. Burgeoning under her decadent touch, he moaned softly.

“I need you inside me, Jake; make me feel alive,” she begged, her voice barely above a whisper.

Was she using him to feel whole again? Or was he using her to ease an ache that had plagued him for so long? Did it matter?

“I shouldn’t be here like this,” he replied somberly. “But if you ask me again, I won’t be able to say no to you.”

“Make love to me, Jake.”

“Is that what this is? Love?”

“Stop overthinking things and fuck me. Please. I need you, and you clearly want me.”

Without a word, he sat up abruptly and flipped her on her back. He bent her knees and parted them, plunging into her willing wetness, ending years of celibate agony. He gazed into her eyes and watched he face as she was impaled by his cock. His movements were slow and deliberate at first, helping her to get used to his size. When she grabbed his hips impatiently, he grinned and allowed himself to enjoy the tight, wet heat that was better than any other woman he could ever remember entering. Each stroke brought them such intense pleasure; neither wanted it to end.

Eventually, need replaced want, and he pumped into her as if it would be the last time.

It should be the last time.

Pushing negative thoughts out of his mind, he hammered into her as she cried out, begging him for more.

“Yes! Oh, God, Jake, yes! Fuck me! Make me cum hard for you!”

He pummeled her needy pussy until they both exploded, the contractions of her orgasm milking his cock.

Jake collapsed beside Kelly, panting profusely and heart beating wildly. Equally out of breath, Kelly curled up next to Jake and, once again, enjoyed the feeling of intimacy that she’d missed for so long.

They drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms and dreamed of what happily ever after might look like.

Over the next few weeks, Jake stayed with Kelly every night. They enjoyed holding hands while they walked on the beach, watching the sun go down, and making love into the wee hours of the morning.

Late one Saturday morning, just days before Christmas, Jake woke to the smell of bacon and eggs. He wandered into the kitchen and saw Kelly in an apron and nothing else, making him breakfast, though it was nearly lunchtime. He closed his eyes for a moment and pictured them in one of those ostentatious houses on the beach up in Bellair Bluffs. A couple of kids raced around the house, filling it with laughter. It was all he’d ever wanted.

He smiled weakly, trying to hide the profound desolation in his soul. He sat and ate breakfast silently, nodding in all the right places as Kelly talked about what they should do in the afternoon.

They went for a walk after brunch, enjoying a burst of mild weather. Kelly chattered away while Jake felt as though happiness was literally slipping through his fingers. “We need to drop off the toys we bought for the toy drive.”

She stooped to pick up a conch shell and added, “I’m so grateful for you, Jake. I had gotten to the point where I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep living. But spending time with you has made me realize it’s not about me but about being here to help others. You’ve been a great influence on me, Jake. You make me so happy.”

She turned her face to him, beaming. The sun illuminated her fiery red hair, making her eyes look bluer than the sky.

Jake stopped. This was all wrong. He was all wrong, selfishly holding onto something that wasn’t his; he’d forgotten his true purpose. It was time.

“If you could be with Devon again, would that make you happier?”

Kelly frowned, completely taken aback by this turn in the conversation. “Jake, you know that’s not possible. And even if it were…”

“But it is possible, Kelly. I can make that happen.”

Kelly looked at Jake incredulously. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I have the power to give you back your old life, Kelly. I’ve had it all along. But I needed to be sure that you were deserving of such a gift. I suppose I’ve been sure of that for a while, but in spending time with you, I fell in love. I couldn’t bring myself to let go of you until I’d had the chance to see if…”

“If what?” she asked frantically.

“If you could be happy with me instead. I know it was wrong. If you desire for me to grant this favor, I will make it up to you by placing you back at any point you wish in your timeline.”

“No, stop! This is crazy talk. And it’s cruel. No one can do what you’re suggesting!”

She searched his face and saw no malice; he was telling the truth. Her heart hurt as she asked, “You can do that?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Kelly.”

“How is this possible? Are you some sort of magical being?”

“Yes, I am a Nephilim.”

She frowned, confused. “A what?”

“The offspring of an angel and a human. However, I am more angelic than mortal. As an otherworldly being, it is within my power to...”

Kelly interrupted Jake. “If I go back, will I remember you? Or any of this time together?”

“No, as it won’t have existed.”

Kelly felt like her world was coming apart at the seams again. She gazed into the misery swimming in Jake’s eyes and inhaled sharply. Turning away, she sat on the shoreline and watched the coquinas burrowing.

Jake sat beside her and waited silently for Kelly to gather her thoughts. Eventually, she spoke.

“Devon was my whole life. When he was ripped away from me, I thought I’d rather die than take another breath without him. I spent months trying to put the pieces of my life back together; then I met you, and everything shifted. I started to feel like life was worth living and that there was still joy and wonder to be found in the world. I…, I…” Kelly stopped, realizing that her voice was growing loud, and beach walkers started staring as they passed by.

“I felt like the universe was giving me a second chance at happiness. And I just want to scream at you and ask you why?”

“Why did I keep this from you? I explained…”

“No! Why did you tell me this? I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing that returning to my life with Devon was even in the realm of possibilities. I never expected to love anyone again, but I love you, Jake! How am I supposed to choose between you and Devon? Why couldn’t you have just kept this to yourself?”

Her words stunned him. It never occurred to him that she’d find it difficult to choose—that he would even be a choice for her. He simply assumed that she was enjoying not being alone and would jump at the chance to resume her old life with the man she’d loved before.

“You love me?” he asked.

“I have since the day you took me to the soup kitchen to make and serve a Thanksgiving meal to complete strangers and showed me that helping others was the way to heal my soul. I didn’t want to fall in love with you, but you made it impossible not to do so. You saved me, and now you’ve thrown me into turmoil. I’ll ask again: why didn’t you keep the revelation of this power to yourself?”

“I never meant to hurt you, Kelly. But I’m not allowed to lie to you. Keeping the truth from you for this long was selfish. I’ve lived a thousand lifetimes, and while I’ve had the occasional attention of women, I’ve been so fucking lonely for so long. I looked at you and saw the possibility of a life filled with love and laughter. I’m so sorry. What I’ve done is inexcusable. But I promise to fix things if you’ll let me.”

Kelly felt hot tears stream down her face. “Fix things? Holy fuck! Go away, Jake. I wish I’d never met you.”

Her words cut like a thousand daggers; his heart and soul teemed with remorse.

“I’ll leave you alone and give you some time to think; you don’t have to decide immediately.”

Kelly wrapped her hands around her knees, curling up into a ball as she sobbed silent tears. Jake ached to hold and comfort her, but instead, he walked away, knowing there was nothing more he could do but wait.

A few hours later, John walked down to the beach where Kelly sat, staring at the horizon.

“Hey, the sun has dipped behind the clouds and it’s getting chilly since, Kel. It looks like it might rain. Why don’t you come with me to the porch and have some soup? I picked up some clam chowder, the New England kind you like.”

“Did you know?”

“Did I know what, Kelly?”

“Did you know he was a heartless bastard who had the power to reunite me with Devon but chose to lie to me instead?”

“When did he lie, Kelly?”

“Withholding the truth is the same thing as lying, John.”

“Is it? He had a duty to make sure you were a giving person with a pure soul before he could grant you your heart’s desire. You can’t fault him for falling in love with you during the process.”

“Did I fall in love with him on my own? Or did he use some voodoo magic on me to make me want him and need him more than the air I breathe?”

John shook his head, “It doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t coerce people to like him; he’s just an affable guy. But I have seen him give people what they’ve wanted most in the world if he finds them worthy, at great cost to himself.”

“Such as?”

“Such as denying his own happiness to help others. In all the years I’ve known him, Kelly, he’s never allowed himself to get as close to someone as he has you. To my knowledge, he’s never fallen in love before.”

“I suddenly feel exhausted; I’m going to turn in early.”

“Good night, Kelly.”

“G’night, John.”

But Kelly couldn’t sleep. Instead, she opened her laptop and spent hours researching what Nephilim were and what type of powers they possessed. She was overwhelmed by all the information she’d read, but it explained why Jake seemed so different from every man she’d ever met—from his gentlemanly demeanor to his vague answers about things at times.

At the break of dawn, Kelly made herself a cup of tea and took the picture of her wedding day with Devon she’d tucked away in a drawer. Holding it tightly to her chest, she cried, “I love you, Devon, I always will. You were my husband and my best friend. I spent months aching to have your arms around me. I can’t imagine not taking the chance to be with you again.”

She opened the glass slider and stepped onto the porch, startled to see Jake and John sitting on a log on the beach. As if he sensed her presence, Jake turned. Their eyes met, and Kelly felt choked up by a gamut of emotions.

How could she tell him she belonged to another and could never be happy, ignoring her heart? She knew there was only one choice for her.

John patted Jake on the shoulder and said, “If the look on her face is any indication, you’ll be wanting a beer later. You don’t have to knock, man. Just come in, and we’ll drink to the loss of first loves.”

“Thanks,” Jake said, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed in his chest. John wasn’t wrong; Kelly’s expression was one of angst.

He stepped onto her porch and followed as she motioned for him to come inside.

“You look tired, Kelly.”

“Thanks, I’m well aware I look like shit.”

“That wasn’t what I meant…”

“I know,” she said, waving off his explanation. “I’m just grumpy when I don’t get enough rest. I couldn’t sleep last night. After educating myself about Nephilim, I spent a lot of time talking to Devon.”

Jake tilted his head curiously.

“Whenever I need to talk to him, I pull out our wedding picture that I keep in my night table drawer. Last night, I talked his ears off.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him about you and the fact that I could be back in his arms due to your incredible power. I poured out my heart about all the anger I’d been holding in my heart that you helped me let go of, distracting me by showing me how much I still had to be thankful for in my life.”

Jake smiled. He hadn’t done much; she had such a kind and generous heart that all it took was getting her to trust again. Then he’d broken that trust by falling in love with her instead of giving her the gift she’d more than earned.

She sat on the couch and rested her chin on her knees. “I told him that I was angry at you but that you promised to fix things so I could go back to the way things were, to the life I’d planned to enjoy for the rest of my life. I thought about it carefully, Jake. It was a hard decision, but there could only be one choice. It’s hard to tell a man that I love that I’d rather be with someone else.”

Jake felt the tears welling in his eyes, threatening to escape as he reached for Kelly’s hand. When one fell, Kelly wiped it away so gently he thought he’d embarrass himself by bawling like a baby.

She continued. “I was broken when I came to live at the beach. The only reason I didn’t just end my life was because I promised myself that I’d give it a year. I did my best to forge a new way of existing. When I met you, I was doing little more than that—existing. But you saw a spark of light inside me that I thought had been snuffed out when my life went off the rails. And like a man trying to start a bonfire, you gently coaxed that spark into a warm ember until it became an intense flame. I’m so grateful for that.”

Jake’s heart felt like it was being ripped in two as Kelly pulled away. He’d never forget her, but she would have no recollection of him once he returned her to Devon. Knowing that he might see her at some point on the beach, vacationing with Devon and whatever children they might have together, felt like a punch in the gut. He wouldn’t even be able to discuss it with John, as this time with Kelly would never have existed. Sometimes his powers just fuckin’ sucked!

“The thing is, I didn’t expect to, but I like the person I’ve become since I’ve been with you; I never imagined the thought of letting her go would hurt so much. I don’t suppose you could plant a little seed in my brain to keep thinking of others first.”

“I don’t need to, Kelly. Your heart is pure and kind; that’s why I can grant you your heart’s desire.”

“My heart’s desire… So, how does this work?”

“It’s easy, really. You give me both hands and let your heart’s desire fill your mind. I will be able to see your thoughts in my mind and grant your wish, so to speak, for you.”

“And I could go back to any point in the timeline I want? Could I convince Devon not to get in the car that night? Or go back further and beg him to buy a bigger, safer vehicle? You see, that was hard for me last night as I was trying to decide. I kept trying to figure out what point to return to and not have the same outcome.”

“I would never do that to you, Kelly. If you go back, not only did this time with me never happen, but the accident never happened either.”

She nodded as tears streamed down her face. “Thank you for that.”

Jake inhaled sharply. “I want to ask you for one last time together in bed, but that’s my body talking. My heart and soul will be satisfied with the chance to hold you and kiss you softly before I let you go.”

“That seems fair,” Kelly agreed.

Taking her into his arms, Jake kissed her so tenderly she thought her bones would melt and leave her in a puddle on the floor. The embrace lingered a long time before Kelly pulled away.

“I have a request, too. Before I give you my hands, I want to thank you so much for everything. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. A simple thank you seems pale compared to what you’ve done for me. I love you, Jake.”

Tears flowing, she added, “I’m ready now…for my heart’s desire.”

The lump in his throat hurt like hell, but he swallowed hard and said, “I love you, too, Kelly. I will never forget you. You’ve shown me that I need to allow myself to love and be loved. I’ve denied myself that for so long, thinking it was better to avoid the pain of losing someone. But you’ve taught me that surviving loss and learning to love again is possible. But know this, Kelly: I am thankful for you and will love you forever, no matter who comes after.”

“It’s unfathomable to think that one can love like that after loss, but I promise you it is possible, Jake.”

She kissed him again. “I’m ready now.”

“Give me your hands, Kelly, and let me see and feel your heart’s desire.”

She placed her hands in his, hoping that he’d truly be able to give her what she longed for, praying that he’d get it right.

He held her hands and commanded his mind to see what she wanted more than anything. Her heart’s desire to return to a time before she and Devon were married confused him, but it also gave him hope. The love she emanated nearly knocked him on his ass. But he held on tight and gave her the gift he had promised.

Moments later, he sat on the floor, feeling drained and exhausted from using his powers. He could still smell her perfume in the room, but there was nothing left of her beyond that.

Christmas came and went with little fanfare. After New Year’s, Jake stayed away from the beach for nearly a year. Memories of Kelly hurt too much.

However, as Thanksgiving drew near again, he’d had enough of his self-imposed exile and sent John a message saying he’d be over to join the art class to paint the sunset. It was time to move on.

John sent a text back. “Awesome! I’ve been using my place next door as a weekly vacation rental. A hot chick is staying there by herself. Otherwise, I’d say you could stay there for the night. But join us. If you end up staying, you can crash on my couch.”

Holiday traffic was a bitch, making Jake a few minutes late for the class. He didn’t mind; he’d painted hundreds of sunsets and would be able to catch up easily. He quickly poured himself a glass of wine and took the only empty chair behind a woman with long red hair. He felt a tug at his heart; he should have known coming to the beach would remind him of the only woman he truly loved—the one he let slip away.

“Ugh!” the redhead blurted out in exasperation.

“What’s wrong? Jake asked.

She turned around and said, “I don’t know what made me think I could paint. My canvas doesn’t look anything like the instructor’s!”

Jake felt like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him. “Kelly?”

The redhead frowned, “Yes, how did you know my name?”

“I’m friends with John. You’re his renter?”

“Yes, and he told me this would be fun. But I suck, and the only fun part so far has been the Moscato,” she complained, sounding frustrated.

Jake was stunned. Recovering quickly, he said, “Pull your chair and easel back next to mine; watch what I’m doing.”

Kelly shrugged and moved next to Jake. The scent of her perfume made him long to touch her. She looked up and met his gaze with eyes that were like windows into her soul. He’d made a mistake sending her back. She looked nearly as miserable as the first time they met.

“I’m Jake,” he said finally. “Here, take the brush and take just a dab of paint. That’s right; like that. Now, move the brush in a sweeping motion. You’re holding back; just let yourself feel what you see, and that will help you get more into painting.”

She looked at him as if what he said sparked some memory in the depths of her mind. Shaking off the feeling, she painted for a bit and perked up when she started to feel like she was getting the hang of it.

“It’s starting to look like John’s example! But it’s nothing like yours; are you a professional artist?”

“No, I come here now and again to spend an evening enjoying the gorgeous sunsets rather than sitting home alone. What brings you here?”

“I broke up with my boyfriend, Devon, several months ago, and I’ve been brooding ever since. I came to the beach to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. We dated for a long time, and I always thought we’d be together forever. Recently, I felt like my life was missing something, so I started volunteering and found it rewarding to help others. Devon was irrationally furious and said I was selfish for taking time away from him so I could help strangers. I was irritated by his attitude, so I told him he was the selfish one for wanting to spend a chunk of our wedding fund on a convertible. He had a few other choice words to say, so I said I needed some time to think. He told me we would be through if I left, but I couldn’t stay feeling like I did. Now, I wonder if I’ve made a big mistake.”

Jake felt guilty for the happy dance his heart was doing—she was single!

“Do you want to skip out on painting and take a walk with me?”

Kelly smiled. “Oh, God, yes! That would be amazing.”

Jake motioned to John that they were ditching class. The art teacher smiled, waving them off.

As they walked along the shore, they chatted about life, and Kelly couldn’t help but feel as though she’d known Jake all her life. When he smiled at her, he made her weak in the knees, and she no longer felt like the breakup had been a bad idea.

That night, she couldn’t sleep. She’d thought she was so much in love with Devon that their breakup had destroyed her. She’d spent months being miserable; coming to the beach where she had vacationed as a young girl seemed the only way to overcome her heartache. Meeting Jake caused everything to shift, but she couldn’t figure out why. She only knew that she no longer pined for Devon.

Jake and Kelly spent the rest of her vacation together. They walked the beach during the day, watched the sun go down every evening, and, on Thanksgiving Day, they volunteered at the soup kitchen. That night, they celebrated being thankful at the local tavern with turkey, drinking, and dancing.

Jake knew he couldn’t let her go again. So, he suggested they make love on Kelly’s last day, late in the afternoon. It was pure ecstasy. She was delighted that Jake knew precisely how and where she liked to be touched and how much she craved the way he moved inside her. Somehow, she knew exactly what turned him on, as well. It was as though they had been lovers before.

Afterward, they strolled the beach as the daylight faded. She kept getting this bewildering feeling of familiarity. She bit her bottom lip pensively, deciding the universe was trying to send her a message, and it was time to stop ignoring it. Slipping her hand into his, she asked, “Do you believe in fate?”

 “Why?”

“I know we just met a few days ago, but I feel like I was meant to come to the beach and meet you. Like you’ve been here waiting for me. I hope I’m not being too presumptuous.”

His response was to pull her into his arms and kiss her softly as the heat in her belly became a roaring fire. Soon, they were on the sand, tongues dancing and bodies yearning for more.

Gazing into her eyes, he said, “Stay with me; I’ve been waiting for you all my life, Kelly. These past few days have made me feel alive again.”

“And I feel like I’ve found my heart’s desire.”

Her words warmed his heart, and he leaned in to kiss her again.

All around them, coquinas burrowed into the wet sand, waiting for the tide to come back in to sweep them away again. The imagery wasn’t lost on Kelly. She’d burrowed too long; she was ready now to be swept away.