Three men sat around the fire while the fourth trekked for water. They were miles from anything, save each other and the sanctity of the location.
The first was speaking, “I was angry, probably more than anything else. It wasn’t just that she dumped me, but that I knew why, that I saw it coming at least a couple months out, but couldn’t do anything about it. All those times she chewed me out for every mistake, I wanted to fucking strangle her, anything to get her to stop talking, because I knew she was right, and I knew everything she was saying, hell I told myself it constantly, but couldn’t do anything about it.”
The other two nodded understanding. The first continued, “I felt like a spectator in my own life, unable to control the destination, what was happening, or a passenger, where I’m screaming for the driver to change course, but can’t do anything about it. That fucking impotence, it’ll kill you.” More nods.
“In hindsight, I probably should have cut things when I recognized the inevitable, but maybe I thought that wasn’t the case, or that I could do something about it, keep things working. But I don’t think I’ll ever forget a lot of it actually. It was kind of a memorable, everything really. But when I realized things were fucked. We were fighting, we didn’t fight a lot yet, but this was the start, and it was over something completely bullshit, screaming, throwing things,” he paused briefly before quickly adding, “not at each other, just around the room or at walls or something. Then she slapped me across the face or tried, anyway, I caught her arm and we held it there for a second. I think I dug my fingers into her forearm but can’t remember. I let go, then we stood there, staring at each other for what felt like ages, those big brown eyes glaring into mine, then we were kissing. Hard, rough and raw, her tongue was angrily in mine, pushing me back, then she jumped on me.” He paused again, a knot forming in his throat, “I never really liked that, the jumping on me, it looks fun, but I don’t like it. Anyway, I’m kind of carrying her and I drop her on the couch, and we start taking off clothing. I normally didn’t like sex on the couch, it hurts my back, I’ve had issues since college, but I’m so turned on and in the moment that it didn’t bother me. Anyway I don’t start with her shirt, I start with her pants, pulling them down but not all the way so I can drop to my knees and eat her out. Call me a bitch but I like going down on a girl, and I like to think I’m pretty good at it.”
He coughed and took a long drink of water, “Fucking hell, where is he with that beer? Whatever, but she didn’t take her shirt off while I was eating her out. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but that was weird. So, she comes on my face, and she’s wrapping her legs around my head and kind of crushing me. It hurt, it made me tweak my neck, but whatever. I pull away and I’m kind of breathless since, y’know how you get when you’re eating something good, sometimes you forget to breathe,” he chuckled, “and I stand up and take my shirt off and lower my pants so I’m good to go. I tried to help her out with her shirt. I liked the whole view, face, eyes, boobs everything, I liked to take in the whole visual. Plus she hid them well, but her tits were amazing, damn near breathtaking. But she didn’t want me to take her shirt off, she was screaming in pleasure, but wasn’t willing to take her shirt off. I kind of forced it, heat of the moment, but I probably shouldn’t have.” He paused, a look of realization on his face, “could that have meant something? Like she didn’t want me to see her but I forced it anyway, that after eating her out, making her come, I still had to have my way or something? I don’t fucking know. What do you think?”
The second and third thought for a long moment, before the third spoke, “I don’t know, man. You’ve never seemed really pushy to me, like you have to get your shit in, but I’m also not fucking you. I mean, hell have we even had a blow out at all? Either way, man, you can’t leave us here, finish the fuckin’ story.”
The second laughed at the double meaning, the third joining in a moment later realizing his statement.
The first took another drink, “Fine, you fucking pervs, I’ll finish the story. I got her shirt off, and she wasn’t wearing a bra at the time. I was kind of pissed and torn, I wanted to kiss her, suck her nipples, play with her tits, but I also wanted to fuck her. That kind of mental cluster-”
“Damn, man, you could keep going? Anything even resembling cognitive dissonance will absolutely kill any erection. Respect is due,” the second said, raising his bottle of water.
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not. I think I was just turned on, I don’t think anything could have killed it for me in that moment.”
The first resumed his story. “Anyway, we have sex, I’m thrusting and she’s kind of pushing away from me on the couch, but grinding her hips closer, if I wanted to read too far into it, maybe she wanted the physical release but was momentarily repulsed by me. I don’t fucking know.” He swallowed some more water, his mouth increasingly dry. “Can I stop talking now? Somebody else talk. What’s the story with Lightning?”
The second laughed, shaking his head, “Complicated dude, man, she was awesome. We’re still in touch, but that’s some complicated life. We were a while I think, but she had some big plans, moved to LA, she’s fuckin’ killing it from what I’ve read and she’s told me. She asked me if I wanted to come with her when she moved out there, and man I wanted to, I really fucking wanted to. Even if it meant just being like, I don’t know,” his smile dropped for less than the time it takes to blink, “But, man up, right? Had to do the smart thing, going out there would have fucked my life up, and her life up. I’d either hold her back or grow resentful for leaving everything I had for her. Had to be smart.” The second’s smile didn’t break.
“Though, when she was in town on tour, we hooked up. Holy shit, I damn near begged to go with her again. She was always the best sex of my life. She texted me, offered tickets to her show and meet up, I was apprehensive about it, but fuck it. Show was killer; she always had skill and showmanship. She was at the merch table, I figured I’d say hi, but she asked me to come to her hotel room after cleanup and whatever. I show up, knock on the door, and straight away she’s kissing me, hard and dominantly. That was her thing, right, in bed, she was in charge, not like a BDSM thing, but she’s in charge. We’re making out for a bit, and frankly, she’s pressing her lips into mine so hard it hurts, she breaks the kiss, and if I were filming it, I’d say there was a trail of saliva between us, but that’d be bullshit. She says stuff like ‘I missed you, I’m really glad the tour brought me back here and I could see you again,’ but she’s also kind of breathless and intermittent kissing me, it was hot. She throws me towards the bed and demands I take my clothing off, and she’s fully clothed. That was always part of the game. She liked to give head, but only if she was fully clothed and I was naked. So I’m kind of seated on the bed and she gets down on her knees and gives a really sexy predatory crawl towards me, by the time she’s next to me I’m hard enough to cut steel. She gets down and just kind of gently kisses my dick a couple times then strokes it looking into my eyes, saying she missed my dick and starts sucking me, and holy shit, she’s good at it, fucking expert, she can feel my heartbeat through my dick on her tongue, knows where my heart rate is when I’m about to finish, and stops, she never misses on that. Then she stands up and takes off below the waist. I don’t get her fully naked yet, and she pushes me down on the bed and straddles my face to eat her out. It’s difficult, because as part of the game, I can’t move my arms, she usually pins them down and rides my face. I usually don’t go down on someone, but for that chick? Hell, whatever she wanted I’d do and probably beg for more.”
The second laughed in recollection, “After a while, dunno how long, she gets off my face and slides down a little bit so I can see her when she takes her top off, because she liked to make a show of it. Seeing those boobs again damn near made me believe in bog. I leaned up to try and fondle them, or suck them, but she pushed me back down. Then she grabs my dick again, and puts it in her and just sits there for a moment savoring it, then she put her hand on my throat,” he mimicked the position with his hands, “not to choke me, just to make me know she could and starts riding me, but really it’s her show, and like I said, helluva showman, on stage and in bed.”
He took a long swig of water, emptying the bottle, “Fuck, where is he with those drinks? Anyway, time felt like it went on forever, the sound of her ass against me, our labored breathing, the warmth, the scents of our sweat and her pussy, couldn’t have been better, even the pressure on my throat was wild, she tightened on my throat when she came, so much I struggled to breathe at that time, but she loosened up when she was coming down, but still riding me, fucking machine that woman. I got so into it I started thrusting as well, and she was into it as well, since normally that’s a big no-no, and I come in here, and kind of slide out. She then just kind of hung out for a minute before collapsing on me, both of us panting. I don’t wanna talk about what happened after that.”
The other two understood.
“My turn, I guess,” the third said. “Well, same as it ever was. Same complaints, no spark, I was too guarded, whatever. Frankly, I’m kind of grateful, if someone wants ‘that spark’ or gets too pushy against my guard on early dates, that’s a major fucking red flag. So, a whole lotta nothing.”
The other two nodded solemnly. If walls were up, they were there for a reason for them. To press against them was taboo.
A long silence permeated the group, before a snap in twigs nearby, “Sorry guys,” someone shouted, “I got kind of turned around, it’s dark out, but I got the booze and the water. What’d I miss?” He started handing out bottles.
“A lot,” the three said in unison, and opened the beers. “Here’s to the good times, here’s to the bad times, and here’s to killing them all,” one offered.
“Cheers!” The other said in response, clinking bottles together.
