Part 1 – Community Buzz
Nancy Drool locked the door of the Community Buzz coffee shop as her coworkers, Stacy, Darcy, and Marci shook their ponytails loose. Watching the prettiest girls and sleaziest guys mingle on a Friday was exhausting, but she allowed the prettiest and sleaziest to stay after closing time.
Frank sat in a large booth with his back to the window, watching the girls seat themselves with loose blouses barely covering their breasts. Darcy asked Frank, “Where’s Joe?”
Frank and his best friend, Joe, were notorious playboys in town, earning them the moniker The Hard-On Boys. Nancy, instead of inflating already bloated egos, preferred to call them The Boys.
Frank replied, “He’s in the bathroom, taking a piss. He can’t hold his coffee.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Nancy said as she squirmed in next to the others, “I have to bring some coffee with me. I’m going to my parents’ beach house over the weekend to get away from my creepy apartment.”
Marci’s eyes widened, “Creepy, like haunted?”
Nancy said, “I doubt it.” She sunk her head and lowered her voice. “But an old lady used to live there with her cat. She was a widow and never left the apartment until one day she just disappeared.”
Marci drew a deep breath. “Did she die?”
Nancy said calmly, “I really don’t know.”
Stacy interjected, “I remember her. We used to deliver whole bean coffee to that apartment almost every day. She must have drunk it by the gallon.”
Darcy said, “Well, Nancy, you’re lucky. I have to spend Saturday night helping my aunt with a jewelry party. She lives out of town, far away from the action.”
Marci leaned in. “So, Nancy, you’re going by yourself? Won’t you get lonely?”
Frank wiggled his eyebrows. “You need a chaperon to keep you out of trouble?”
Nancy glared at Frank. “I’m trying to avoid creepy.”
Stacy asked, “Hey, Nancy, do you have any sex toys to take with you?”
Marci gasped, “Stacy, jeez!”
Darcy giggled and nudged Marci. “Take a chill pill, Marci. We’re all friends here.”
Frank nodded, “Yeah, I’m diggin’ this.”
Nancy said, “I have a Groove Glider wrapped in a sock in my nightstand drawer. It’s my favorite dildo, but sometimes it won’t turn off. I’m afraid to put it in my suitcase.”
Stacy said, “I got nothing planned this weekend except work. Maybe I could borrow it.”
Joe overheard Stacy as he approached the table. “Borrow what? Can I watch?”
Marcy’s brown eyes peered at Joe. Her breasts push forward and auburn hair swept her shoulders as she stood and walked to the counter. Her pouting lips looked delicious as she rinsed her cup.
Nancy said, “Well, Joe butchered that conversation.” She looked at The Boys. “You guys wanna walk me home since it’s getting dark?”
Frank whispered, “Maybe Marci could use a little company tonight.”
Nancy scoffed, “Don’t see that happening.”
Stacy and Darcy smiled at The Boys as they walked outside and waved through the window for Marci to join them. Marci frowned and kept her eyes forward as she hurried toward the door.
Joe complained, “I guess Marci doesn’t like dirty talk.”
Frank said, “That’s too bad considering how she inspires it in others. She has bodacious tits.”
“Can it you two, she’s not interested,” Nancy responded. “Let’s go, it’s getting late.”
§
Nancy might have been considered the luckiest girl in town, the manager of the hippest hang-out, accompanied by two irresistible men with thick brown hair, big eyes, and tight jeans, but now her only interest was a weekend away from responsibility.
Joe and Frank watched her stroll several steps ahead, flipping her cinnamon brown hair and flaunting her awesome 5’6” body. She made it clear she was available to anyone but The Hard-On Boys. When they reached her apartment she turned and announced, “Here we are.”
Joe hinted, “Don’t you get scared living alone on the first floor?”
Frank said, “That door goes directly to your apartment and those windows aren’t very secure.”
Joe added, “I’ve seen some real screwballs in this city.”
Nancy gave The Boys a dirty look. “I’ve seen them too, some pathetic screwballs at that.” She shooed them away. “Hurry along, boys. Don’t keep your groupies waiting.”
§
Nancy returned from her trip on Sunday evening. As she tossed the suitcase on the bed, she noticed a window screen leaning against the wall. The curtains fluttered and drew her attention to the open window. The drawer of the nightstand in front of the window was partially open with a sock sticking out. She pulled the sock from the drawer and felt it was empty – The Groove Glider was missing.
She dialed The Hard-On Boys’ number and Joe answered, “Stud Factory, how can we help you?”
Nancy said, “That’s really cute, Joe. Give it back.”
“Give what back?”
“You know what, the Groove Glider.”
“What the hell are you jabbering about?”
“You, or that knucklehead sidekick of yours, broke into my apartment and stole my favorite sex toy.”
“Hey babe, you know Frank and I don’t have to steal nothin’ to get what we want. Why would anyone steal your sex toys?”
“Because they’re weird. That’s why I thought of you.”
“Well, whoever took it must be pretty horny. We’re happy to help you find it.”
“What makes you think I want your help?”
“Ah, c’mon. We’re the best sex detectives in town.”
Nancy thought for a moment. Did she really need Laurel and Hardy tagging along? “What could you possibly do for me?”
“We’re good at talking to the ladies. We might get some good information.”
It was a difficult choice. The Hard-On Boys could be useful. They could also be insufferable assholes. Finally she caved. “Sure, but don’t tell anyone, okay?” Then more forcefully, “Okay?”
“Fine. We’ll meet at your place.”
Part 2 – Stormy Sunday
Lights flickered and the room rumbled. Heavy rain rippled on the windows. Creeks of falling branches were followed by darkness and silence. Nancy felt her way to the kitchen to find candles in a drawer and lit them on the gas stove.
The shifting light produced eerie shadows along the walls as she placed two candles on a coffee table. Nancy glanced around the room, responding to strange noises while she waited for The Hard-On Boys to arrive.
Nancy heard a bump outside her door and spotted two ghostly figures on the porch. She gasped when a man pressed his nose to the glass and illuminated his face with a flashlight under his chin. When she opened the door, Frank pointed the flashlight at Nancy’s breasts. He grinned at rain droplets collecting on her chest. “Well, hello there.”
Nancy smiled at Frank. “It’s nice to see you have your gadgets in order. Take off your wet rain jackets and follow me this way.”
Frank and Joe giggled and Nancy turned to catch them mimicking her walk. “Real mature guys.” She faced them and put her hands on her hips. “I can’t trust either of you on this investigation. You’re fired.”
The Boys stared with puppy eyes and whimpered.
“Fine,” Nancy acquiesced, “but don’t fuck this up.”
She took a candle from the coffee table and led them to the bedroom. She described the open window and the sock in the drawer as she placed the candle on the nightstand.
Joe said, “They knew right where to go?”
Frank flashed his light toward a dresser. “Are you sure they didn’t go through your underwear drawer?”
“No, they didn’t, and neither will you.” Nancy pointed toward the window. “Frank, shine the light over there. I didn’t notice that before.”
She knelt on the floor to examine a brown substance left by the intruder’s shoes. She pinched some between her thumb and forefinger and raised it to her nose. “This is Dream Caffeine coffee, exclusive to Community Buzz.” She looked at The Boys with raised eyebrows. “One of my coworkers is the intruder.”
A scraping branch startled Frank, causing him to point the flashlight away from Nancy. Lightening lit the room with a bang and Nancy’s face flickered directly in front of Joe. He backed into Frank and exclaimed, “Jeepers creepers! You scared the shit out of me!”
Frank directed the flashlight at Nancy and she asked Joe, “Did you expect me to kneel on the floor all night?”
“I didn’t expect you to pop up and startle me like Vincent Price.”
Nancy shook her head, “You’re such a doofus.”
Frank examined Nancy with the flashlight. “I’d like to pop up and startle her when she’s kneeling.”
Joe shook his hips, “You said it! Hey sexy lady, boink!”
Nancy scowled. “You’re warped, both of you. It’s after hours at the coffee shop, time to pay our friends a visit.”
§
Thick air cast a white sheen over the city. Nancy and The Boys weaved to avoid branch fragments littering the sidewalks. Crowds gawked at downed branches and broken power lines. Nancy flirted with well-dressed insurance adjusters assessing hail damage.
Joe asked, “What do we tell your coworkers, that your dildo escaped out the window?”
“We don’t tell them anything. You’re going to distract them while Frank and I try to find out some things.”
“But why can’t I find out some things?”
“Because Frank brought the flashlight.”
Joe tried to pry the flashlight from Franks fingers but Nancy swatted his hand away.
Joe surrendered. “Fine, I like distracting your coworkers. They’re stone foxy.”
Frank and Nancy snuck to the back office while Joe strutted to the counter to meet Stacy. Her blonde hair was pulled in a tight ponytail with strands on either side curled beneath her chin, framing her adorable face. Her soft cheeks glowing in the dim light and puckered mouth glistening with lip gloss were enough to make Joe bloom in his Fruit of the Looms.
Stacy peered curiously at Joe as he pulled a stool and sat. He said, “I stopped by to see if your emergency lights are working. Is everything okay?”
“The storm knocked out the whole neighborhood and I got left here alone.”
Joe asked, “Where did Darcy and Marci go?”
Stacy dragged a cloth along the counter. “Marci had to save her dog from the storm. Darcy followed her out and ran the opposite direction. They run out on me any time Nancy ain’t around.”
“Did they run out on you last night?”
“I dunno. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering. How long ago did they leave tonight?”
“Just moments before you arrived.” Stacy licked her lips. “Is that what you came to find out?”
Frank whacked his shin on a chair in the office. “Zoiks! Fuck!”
“Will you shut up?” Nancy demanded, “We don’t want them to know what we’re up to.”
Frank flashed the light around the room and noticed a list of phone numbers pinned to a bulletin board above the desk. He wrote down the numbers for Darcy and Marci. Nancy dug around in a filing cabinet.
Nancy said, “Frank, take a look at this.” Frank's flashlight illuminated a file drawer. “This is a delivery receipt from when that old lady lived in my apartment. This is how the thief got my address.”
“Who could have seen it?”
“Anyone that works here.”
§
Joe walked behind the counter. “Do you think Darcy and Marci saw us coming when they ran out of here?”
Stacy gave Joe a seductive smile, “C’mon, Joe. You’re not that bad.”
She placed her hands on his chest. Joe put his palm on her cheek and slipped his thumb in her mouth. She puckered her lips around it and closed her eyes. She pushed his hand away and pumped a dab of lavender syrup into her palm. Joe unbuttoned her blouse halfway and yanked it open to reveal her cleavage.
Stacy knelt and delicately unzipped Joe's jeans. Her sultry breath warmed his stomach as she pulled down his underwear. Sweat beaded on his forehead from the anticipation of her lip gloss slipping along his skin. She rubbed syrup between her palms and smeared it onto his anxious erection. She slipped him into her mouth and rolled her thumb beneath his cock.
He groaned as he expanded in her mouth. She pumped her fist vigorously around his cock – his body tingled – his legs stiffened. She moved back with her mouth open and cum streamed onto her tongue. Stacy’s angelic expression captivated Joe as she stared into his eyes, his cum trickling down her chin and dripping between her breasts.
They heard a noise from the office. Stacy stood quickly and wiped herself with a towel. She buttoned her blouse as Joe stuffed his cock into his underwear and zipped his jeans. Nancy and Frank appeared from the back. Nancy asked, “What were you guys doing?”
Stacy said, “I could ask you the same thing.”
Nancy ignored it. “Why aren’t Darcy and Marci here?”
Stacy shrugged. “How should I know? Why does it matter?”
Nancy said, “Well, I’ll have a talk with them. They have no right to run out on you. C’mon guys.”
Stacy whined, “Now you’re running out on me?”
§
The damaging winds and hail had moved North, but light rain continued and gray clouds blanketed the sky. Husky men in hard hats hung off the sides of utility poles. Nancy ogled at the men who had removed their jackets. Their strong arms dripped with rain and perspiration.
As one of the men raised his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead, flexing his massive bicep, Nancy shot him a smile. He waved with a wink and she giggled like a giddy schoolgirl.
Joe said, “Damn, Nancy, should I get a camera?”
Nancy refocused her attention. “If the thief left early last night, like they did tonight, they wouldn’t have had time to sweep.”
Frank added, “That would explain how they got coffee on their shoes.”
Nancy said, “Very clever, Frank. Do I owe you a Scooby Snack?”
Frank and Nancy turned their attention to Joe as they approached Nancy’s front door. Joe held his crotch and jumped in circles. “Hurry up!”
Nancy said, “Just hold your horses, you spaz. How much coffee did you have this time?”
Frank grabbed Joe's shoulder. “Wait, Joe. Did you hear something coming from the bathroom?”
Nancy said, “I think I heard something, too.”
Joe pulled away. “They can watch for all I care. I really gotta go.”
Frank stopped him again. “At least take the flashlight so you can hit the target.”
Nancy said to Frank, “I’ll find some candles so we can see.”
“Oh, a little mood lighting?”
“Don’t you wish.”
Joe placed the flashlight on the toilet tank and unzipped. He shivered when he shook off and noticed rain coming through the window. “Hey Nancy, why is this window open?”
Nancy opened the door to Joe washing his hands. She saw water by the bathroom window that trailed into the bedroom. “I hope you weren't pissin’ out the window, you space cadet.”
“Of course not. The window was open when I got here, sheesh!” He dried his hands on a towel. “Someone came in while we were gone.”
Nancy grabbed the flashlight and followed the wet trail into the bedroom where the Groove Glider sat on the nightstand in a puddle of water.
Joe said, “Hey, bring back that light. I can’t see a damn thing.”
Nancy went to the bathroom to examine the window. She spotted a heart-on-a-hoop earring dangling from the curtain.
She said, “This must have snagged when they climbed out the window.” She picked it up to get a closer look. “This looks like the jewelry Darcy's aunt makes. Darcy and Marci left tonight and Marci said she had to save her dog.”
Joe said, “That means Darcy did it.”
Nancy shrugged. “Okay, I’m done for the night and The Hard-On Boys need to leave. Thanks for your help and don’t get mugged on the way home.”
She took Joe by the shoulders to rush him toward the door. Joe complained, “But wait, don’t you wanna ask Darcy why she did it?”
“We’ll talk about it at work tomorrow. I’m really tired.”
Frank said, “C’mon, Joe. I got their phone numbers off the bulletin board in the office. We can do our own investigation.”
Nancy leaned back on the door after The Boys left and heaved a sigh of relief.
Part 3 – Reunited
Nancy set a freshly lit candle on the nightstand and said, “I’m so glad to see you,” to the Groove Glider.
She threw off her clothes and crawled under the covers. She rubbed her breasts and lay back with her eyes closed, pinching her nipples until her body tingled. She took a bottle from the nightstand drawer, squirted lube into her palm, and rubbed it on the Glider. She turned it on and slipped it between her thighs, inching closer to her treasure.
Nancy rotated the Glider over her clitoris, then inserted it into her body as she continued caressing with her fingers. She hummed softly as the sweet cadence permeated her erogenous zones. She took a deep breath and rolled her head, arching her back and lifting her breasts. Her body jolted and she shouted, “Gee, zowie, that was righteous!”
Light celebrated this glorious moment as electricity was restored throughout the neighborhood. The buzz of appliances blended with the vibration of Nancy’s companion. She kissed the Groove Glider. “God, how I missed you.”
§
Joe hung up the phone and checked his breath in his palm. “I’m hanging out with Darcy tonight. She must be a hot little mama to steal that thing from Nancy.”
Frank grinned. “Well, I’m going for the redhead. She seems timid, but damn she looks tasty.”
§
Joe ran his fingers through Darcy’s thick black hair. They moaned as their lips slithered along each other’s shoulders. Joe unbuttoned her blouse and slipped his hand under her bra. She released a muffled screech into his neck as he pinched her erect nipples.
Joe whispered in Darcy’s ear, “So, what did you think of Nancy’s little toy?"
Darcy paused to consider the question. She said dismissively, “I want your little toy,” and kissed him on the lips.
He stopped her. “Wait, I won’t say anything. Just tell me, how was it?”
Darcy pulled away and sneered suspiciously at Joe. “I don’t know what you’re accusing me of, but I don’t like it.”
“Nancy has that thing, The Groin Grinder? Whatever she calls it, she says it’s pretty awesome.”
“The Groove Glider?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“How was it?”
Darcy buttoned her blouse. “I think you should leave now.”
Joe’s eyes widened, “But…”
Darcy stood and pointed at the door. “Get out!”
§
Frank and Marci had exchanged empathetic glances, but never had they shared such an erotic experience. Frank’s cock burrowed deep into Marci while his hands squeezed her breasts. She rocked on top of him, back curved, stomach pressed to his, biting his right shoulder.
Frank combed his fingers through Marci’s luscious auburn hair as he nibbled her right ear. Her heart-shaped earring tickled his nostril. He gently pulled her head back and said, “Oh god, you’re so hot,” before pressing his lips to hers. He kissed her left cheek and noticed the other earring was missing.
Her breath increased and he pulled her closer. His cock swelled and surged deep within her clenching walls as they erupted together. When the trembling subsided, she moved next to him and lay her head on his shoulder, twirling his chest hair between her fingers.
Frank wanted to know the whole story – why she did it, why he wasn’t invited – but didn’t know how to approach the topic. He asked, “What happened to the other earring Darcy gave you?”
Marci raised her head and touched her ear. “Oh that? I must have lost it when I left work tonight.”
She realized Frank and Nancy knew where the earring had gone. He didn’t press the matter any further. He asked, “So?”
“Sew buttons?”
Frank knew he was the hottest thing since Burt Reynolds and wanted to hear this bombshell babe admit it. He chuckled. “So, how was I tonight?”
“You’re good, I guess,” she blushed as she admitted, “but you ain’t no Groove Glider.”
