4: Dominus Domina.
The half moon sat artfully in the night sky, casting its pale light into my room as I lay on my bed, staring up at the shadows it cast.
Both my hands were gently stroking either side of my sex as the events of the day fed my imagination and played out over and over in my head as I closed my eyes, breathing deeply of the sensations flowing through me. A stray finger rubbed my still deliciously sore pussy that I had flushed clean when I got home earlier, and my thoughts turned back to him.
After we left the motel, he drove me home and pulled up a few yards from my house.
We didn't talk much, both of us dealing with our emotions in our own way and still coming to terms with the beginnings of our relationship. I undid the seat belt and reached for the door.
"Jen, I uh," he started to say but I quickly put a finger to his lips.
I squeezed his hand. "Shhh, I'm fine. That was wonderful. Everything was perfect. Go to work. I'll see you tomorrow."
He nodded as I got out, and I stood to watch as he drove away.
*
The sex had been wonderful. Not like I had imagined it to be at all. Each fuck had stripped away the foundations of who I considered myself to be. That I was, at heart, a passion flower of faith, love, and devotion to him. "The one" seemed an age ago.
Was he the one?
I turned my head to stare at the half moon looking at me through my window. He was enough. Enough for me. I sighed and stretched lazily on the bed, enjoying the languid ache of every muscle as I remembered all the things we did in the motel.
But one thing flickered more brightly than all others. And it was that thing which called to my true nature.
*
Wednesday dawned with the sound of birdsong outside singing to me, and the sun rising brightly in an early morning haze.
It had just gone eight when I finally got out of bed and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I was wearing a white dressing gown as I flopped down into the chair and rested my head on folded arms.
Mom was quietly sitting on the other side of the table with a cup of coffee steaming in front of her.
"Mornin' sleepy head," she said, taking a sip.
My eyes were closed and I just smiled a "Hmmm." in response.
"I think we need to have a talk." She then put a small box on the table between us.
I slowly opened my eyes and froze. Uh oh.
*
My mom is nothing if not practical. She is the backbone of the family. A port for any ship in a storm. Calm in the face of adversity and so on. She was also insanely protective of me. As I had grown older, she had become much more aware of the attention I was beginning to attract wherever I went.
And now, all these years later, here we were. The big mom-daughter talk.
"Have you slept with him?" she asked, getting straight to the heart of the matter. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.
Unable to look at her, I sat back, fiddling with the belt of my gown. I could hardly think straight as my heart rattled around inside of me. I bit my lip and nodded. "Yes," I whispered. I glanced up and saw her nod her head and slowly breathe out. "I'm, ah, uh sorry, mom."
She sat looking at me for what felt an age but then she surprised me as she put her cup of coffee down on the table.
She shook her head. "There is nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. You're eighteen. A grown woman. The decisions you make are your own now. You have to do what you feel is right for you. Your dad and I can only offer you the benefit of our experience, that's all."
She picked up the box. "At least you're sensible enough to take precautions."
I could feel tears welling up as I sat there trying to keep my emotions in check. "I know," I sniffed, "I wanted to say something but I..."
She reached across the table and laid a hand on my arm. "Listen, I'm not just your mother. I'm your best friend. We should be able to talk about anything, you and me. Anything. If you're unsure about something or have a problem come talk to me."
"I will," I took a deep breath, "I promise. But, uh, dad. What about dad?" Geez, Dad would ground me for a year and a day if he found out.
"Leave your dad to me. He doesn't need to know about this until he absolutely has to know. This is between you and me. Our secret. So don't worry." She frowned slightly. "He didn't pressure you did he?"
Surprised she could even think that, I shook my head firmly. "No, no. No. He would never do that. He's nice and kind. You'd like him a lot. I know I do," I blushed, thinking I'd said too much.
"Do you love him?"
"Um," I started to say, "I think I do."
"Does he love you?"
I nodded. "Yes."
"How do you know?"
"Because he wrote it down." Oh heck. That sounded so pathetically cheesy.
Mom nodded solemnly trying to hide a smile. "Okay, I guess that's something at least," she said, "Did you like it?"
I looked up in total surprise. What? What did she just say?
She took another sip of her coffee, staring at me over the rim of her cup. "I asked you if you had enjoyed it. I take it that was your first time?"
Was mom asking me about what we did?
"Wuh, well, uh kind of. I guess. Yeah." Geez, what sort of answer was that?
"Good, that's good." she mused. Her eyes were sparkling in amusement watching me squirm on my chair.
Her next question was a humdinger. "Where did you do it?"
I froze in my chair.
Uh uh-oh! Alarm bells were going off in my head at that one. Do not tell her about that first time. Even mom would blow a fuse if she found out about that.
"Wuh... where?" I stumbled, "Uh, we uh, went to a motel. He booked a room for us."
Mom blinked in surprise. "A motel?!"
I felt like I was going to cry. "But it was clean and it had a shower, mom!"
Oh boy, mom was not happy at all. She put her cup down and gave me her best stern face. "A motel?" she said firmly, "What about his place?" she asked, "Couldn't you have done it there?"
I shook my head. "His mom works part time and he has two younger sisters. There's just no way we could have done it there," I looked around the kitchen, "As for doing it here," I let my voice fade away.
Mom ran her fingers through her curly brown shoulder length hair. "I guess I can see your problem. We'll have to think of something."
What? "Think of something?" I blurted out. Think about what? Where Rick and I were going to have sex?
Mom chewed on her lower lip. "Jennifer, I may be your mom but I'm the same as you. We're both adult women. I was your age once remember. I met your dad when I was just a little older than you are now, and I had all the same emotions that you're going through."
I just sat listening. Hearing my mother talk like this was a real eye opener.
Mom got up and went to the calendar which hung from a small hook screwed into the wall next to the freezer. "Okay, let me see. College Monday morning, Wednesday afternoon and Friday morning, right?" she asked as she ticked the relevant boxes with her pen, "He works shifts, right?"
I nodded. "Four days a week. Starts about five. Finishes at eleven. Tuesday to Saturday. He rotates his day off during the week. Usually a Thursday. It depends."
She tapped the pen against her lips. "So I need to disappear for a few hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Hmmmm, I can do that. Go visit your Gran. Meet up with some friends. How long do you need?"
I blinked at her. "For what?"
She sat back down and looked me straight in the eye. "To fuck, silly."
*
Have you ever had one of those days when you think you know the people around and close to you, but you really, really don't? This was one of those days.
I sat listening to my mother in a completely new light. I was no longer her little girl. I was all grown up. I was now an adult and she was treating me as such. The love was the same but now there was something more to it - a mutual respect.
These past twenty-four hours had just been insanely ridiculous on so many levels. Mom was right, though. Using cheap motels was way too risky and her solution was the best of both worlds.
I looked down at my bed and felt myself shiver all over. I would have to talk to him sometime this afternoon. During class or whatever. Geez, I wonder how he would feel doing it under my roof?
I stood getting ready for college. I had already noticed I was dressing these days to impress him. It was always so much fun to see his reactions to the way I looked and how it kind of knocked him sideways for a moment or two.
I think he had a thing for black. Black was his mojo. Old school stockings and suspenders to go and all that. Got to admit, I think I preferred to wear those type of things. Frills with bows and ties and ribbons and laces. My thoughts drifted to the image of my Great Grandmother and the way she was dressed in her pomp. Maybe I got my tastes in clothes from her too.
"Hurry up, Jen," shouted my mother from downstairs. "Or you'll be late!"
Grumbling, I slipped off my dressing gown to leave me skipping around in just a pair of lemon yellow panties as I pulled on a clean black chequered blouse and dark gray skirt. Stockings would be for another day, for the sun was high and the day warm. A couple of clips fixed my hair in place, bag was grabbed, phone slipped into my back pocket, and we were good to go. I was about to run down the stairs and out the door when I stopped suddenly and listened to my mom bustling about the kitchen.
"You can tell me anything. Anything," she had said.
Something came over me. Like a light being switched on in the dark. The motel room. That moment in the shower. I felt faint and I grabbed the rail to steady myself. I was shivering from head to toe as my mind twisted and wrapped itself around that moment.
I slowly walked down the stairs and stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Mom was polishing the bench, giving it a squirt or two of cleaner before wiping it down. After a second, she looked up to see me staring at her with a look best described as confused, emotional and perplexed.
She came over and placed both her hands on my shoulders. "Honey, are you alright?" she asked, worried, "Is anything wrong? Are you sick?"
The little voice in my head was whispering something to me. Still in the distance, but slowly coming closer. My mind was continuing to focus on that particular memory. What was it trying to tell me? I blinked, trying to make sense of it all. And then everything suddenly became clear and simple to me.
I gasped and looked up at her, "Mom, I think," my mouth fell open in surprise at my sudden revelation. "I think I want to be spanked by him."
I don't think even my mother expected that one.
*
Sally and Debbie were waiting for me at the college entrance and waved as I got off the bus. They had no idea the adventure I had yesterday and I smiled to myself, wondering how they would react if I told them.
"Hey, hey, hey!" said Debbie cheerfully, "Another day, another dollar!"
I gave them both a peck on the cheek. "Hey ho, how goes it?" I said.
Sally stood dramatically with both hands on her hips, "Ask not what Shakespeare can do for you, but what you can do for Shakespeare!" She then burst into a fit of the giggles and grabbed me by the arm, "Come on, once more unto the breach dear friends. Once more!"
Oh, good grief. It was going to be one of those days.
*
It is quite the experience to sit through class with your lover sat just over your right shoulder. My sixth sense was tingling and the hairs on the back of my neck bristled with electric anticipation as I felt his eyes on me. His eyes had been on me the moment I had walked into class and I loved it. I kept glancing up at him shyly to discover him gazing at me.
Inside my head, I could feel his hands on me. Touching me, moving over me, and caressing me as they had done before. That possessive sense of belonging to someone was the most erotically charged thing ever. I wanted so much to just go to him and sit by his side. To be beside to him, to hold hands and to talk about sweet nothings. Is this what love is all about?
Mid-afternoon break arrived and I turned to Sally. "I need to talk to him," I whispered in her ear.
She nodded and raised her eyebrows. "See you in thirty," she smiled.
I grabbed my bag, got to my feet, and moved out of the row to stand to wait for my lover as he gathered his things. He came down to stand in front of me with a lovely smile of familiarity on his face. We didn't speak, but I slipped his hand in mine and we made our way downstairs and out into the afternoon sunshine.
*
We sat together on the playing field at the rear of the college. The day was bright and sunny, with other groups of students doing the same, just sitting on the grass as a light breeze wafted in from the sea.
I felt dreamily content as I lifted my face to the sun, enjoying its warmth on my skin.