After more years on the road than I care to remember, I grew tired of living out of a suitcase. I gave notice to the booking agency that right after the Spring season I would be taking my leave. My parents gave me permission to occupy my old room in exchange for chores and modest rent.
Now I was faced with a new problem, finding a job. I had no high school diploma and no real job market skills aside from never missing a show. I had several interviews with no success. It was a week or two later that I saw an ad in the daily paper for a mailroom assistant. It was at the corporate offices of a well-known food chain located not far from my parent's house. Now back then, there were no HR departments, there were Personnel Directors. It was their job to screen the applicants.
If you passed their inspection, then you met with the department head. So on a beautiful day in June, I headed to the corporate office building and sought the employment offices. The first person I encountered was the director's secretary and I was fell head over heels in lust.
Her name was Karen. She was a tall, attractive, older blond with sparkling blue eyes and a killer figure. Being the latter part of the seventies, miniskirts were still in fashion in and out of the workplace. I snuck glances at her well-shaped legs that appeared from under her short skirt as she moved around the office and I filled out the application.
When she took a seat at her desk her hemline moved up revealing firm thighs and the top of her nylon stockings. I kept my comments to myself and reminded myself that this was not one of the free spirit thespians that I met on the road. Hitting on her would probably destroy all my chances of employment.
The Personnel Director was an amicable gentleman that overlooked my lack of education and work experience and called in the head of the mailroom. The head of the mailroom was an older female that informed me that they were desperate for help and I was offered the job despite the lack of the mandatory diploma. I accepted the offer and returned to the outer offices to fill in all the necessary paperwork for employees. I took my time so I could check out Karen's figure and legs.
I became buddies with Ralph, the other man that worked in the mailroom. He did all the printing for all the stores and filled me in on who was who. I soon discovered that I had gone to school with a number of the girls in bookkeeping and there was a brief homecoming of sorts.
During the coffee breaks and lunch, I entertained all that joined the table I was sitting at with tales of the road. Now Karen never joined us as she was a member of the upper echelon and took her breaks with other members of the office staff. Chief among these was Mr Clark, the head of the data processing department.
Ralph told me that there were rumours that he and Karen were having an affair, but it was never confirmed. He was the sort of man that looked down on everyone that wasn't a college grad. The first interaction that drew Karen's attention to me was the day I came across the head of data processing and one of his toadies attempting to move a file cabinet across the office to the accounts receivable.
The cabinet was tall but empty and they wouldn't slide it for fear of scratching the floor. There was no one else around except Karen and the woman from accounts. There was a long conversation on where the two-wheel dolly was and I just shook my head.
"Oh for the love of God," I said aloud as I pushed between these two dweebs.
I grabbed the cabinet in a bear hug and lifted it high enough that I could shuffle walk it across the office. I placed the cabinet where I was asked to and was thanked. As I passed Karen, I attempted not to notice her nipples pushing against her blouse.
"You must be incredibly strong," she said in a quiet voice.
"It wasn't that heavy," I responded as I headed out.
I received snarls and angry stares from the department head and his lackey as I passed them. Comments of all brawn and no brain were exchanged between them but I ignored them. The woman from accounts must have told everyone in the office and I gained a little popularity. It seemed that the data department head and his lackey were not real popular.
Karen now spoke to me whenever I collected the outgoing mail from her office. She always swivelled her chair around so I could get a good look at her magnificent legs. Many of the office staff also became friendlier and I finally got laid. But by the end of Summer, I was sick of office politics and longed for the open road. I even toyed with the idea of returning to my previous life.
The job was a soul crusher and I had no outlet for all my pent-up artistic talent. That's when I saw tryouts at a local community theatre. I had never considered the small stage so auditioned and won a principal role. All those years on the road now came in handy.
I shared this achievement with no one at work. However, on opening night I discovered the second row was occupied by most of the office staff with Karen among them. It seemed that the company was a big supporter and fan of this community theatre. At the reception after the performance, I was approached by all and congratulated by all. Once again, I became aware of Karen's nipples straining against the silky fabric of her blouse as she spoke to me.
It was during the reception following the next evening's performance that I spied Karen approaching me. She was wearing the maroon dress that she had worn the first day we met. I was surprised when she invited me to join her for a drink at her favourite bar and asked me to follow her in my car.
Soon I was sitting opposite this gorgeous creature in a quiet neighbourhood bar and trying not to stare at her breasts as she spoke.
"I love the tough guy character you portray," she said as a way of starting the conversation.
I thanked her for the compliment.
"Can you summon that persona whenever you want?" she asked with a slight tremble in her voice.
"Pretty much," I responded.
"Rumor has it that you nailed Simone Carter," she continued.
I struggled with what to say before answering in the affirmative.
"So was she good?" the stunning blond asked.
I was momentarily taken aback by such a question.
"She's good but a little tame for my tastes," I answered truthfully.