Looking somewhat stunned Craig got up and going toward Nancy said, "I didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted you to know about my fantasies that involve us."
"Well you can stop fantasizing about us, because I want no part in it, of it or anything like it, Craig. It's disgusting and I really don't know how you could even contemplate such a thing, much less indulge yourself to fantasize about it. Please leave."
Reaching down to touch her Craig had his hand pushed away and realized she was rejecting much more of him than just his hand. He wondered how much damage he had done to their relationship, he loved her as she did him, but he was scared that he might have irreparably harmed her love for him. Damn, why did I ever mention it, but he knew sooner or later he had to tell her. "I'm sorry, Nancy, I never thought it would upset you this much. I'll call you tomorrow."
As he turned toward the door he heard her say, "No Craig, I have a lot to think about. After I have, I'll call you."
Locking the door after he left, Nancy slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor. Her emotions flooded over her like waves crashing on the shore, anger, fear, hate, until they all became mixed together like waves trapped in a lagoon. She wanted to cry, but her anger didn't allow it. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. How could he even think about such a thing? How could I have been so taken in? Could I be wrong, a part of her wanted to think of him as the kind, considerate, fun loving person she knew, and grew to love... until tonight. Craig, an abuser of women, how could I have been so wrong? His words came back to her, "Nancy, I would like to spank you," and she shuttered.
Trembling with anger she remembered the five or six spankings she had received as a child. Her fathered called them spankings, but she remembered then as beatings. Made to lay across a bed with her bottom bare, he hit her over and over with his belt until she was screaming. After he finished all he said was, "Don't you ever do that again, or you'll get it twice as bad next time."
I still resent my father for having done that to me. Yes I deserved to be punished for what I did, but not beaten. As a child, I feared him, as an adult I came to accept and give him respect, but only to conditionally love him. I still cannot forgive him for those beatings. No one will do that to me again, not Craig, or anyone. How could Craig want to inflict pain like that on me and say he loves me? What else don't I know about him? Could I ever trust him again? Confused and mad the tears finally began to roll down her cheeks. Soon she was sobbing as the conflict between her heart and brain became deeper, widening the chasm between them, that she was afraid she would never be able to bridge.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Nancy, you have got to get over this. For the past six weeks all you have done is work, eat and sleep, and not that much eating or sleeping from what I see. You've just toyed with your lunch and the only thing you have told me is how much work you have to do and that you can't come to the beach with us. Remember we planned this trip three months ago. Like it or not Kate and I are picking you up Saturday morning and you had better be packed and ready to go. Remember we rented the cottage for the week."
"Helen I can't, he will be there and I don't want to ruin your or Katie's fun," Nancy said, remembering how they all planned to be at the beach at the same time. Craig, Dan, Katie's SO, and Jim, Helen's new boyfriend, had rented a cottage a block from theirs. They laughed how this trip to the beach wouldn't be the usual surfing and toasting on the beach or trips to the meat markets (bars) looking for dates.
Nancy laughed as she remembered Dan saying, "Yeah, and when you caught most of them, an hour latter you were wondering how you could get off the hook!"
"Well, that's an improvement, first time I've seen you smile in I don't know how long," Helen said. Getting up from the table, Helen told Nancy to be ready Saturday morning and again she heard Nancy say she wouldn't be going.
Dan, Katie, Jim and Helen got together that night to discuss what they knew about why Craig and Nancy had broken up. All they knew was Craig had said he mentioned something to Nancy that he shouldn't have and Nancy saying she didn't know Craig as well as she thought she did. Beyond that, none of them knew why they stopped seeing each other. However, it was obvious to all of them that Nancy and Craig were both miserable.
Dan said, "Helen you said Nancy told you she wasn't going because she thought Craig would be there, and Craig told Jim and me the same thing. So, Helen you tell Nancy that Craig won't be there, because that is what Craig told Jim and me. We'll tell Craig that Nancy won't be there because that is what she told you. Now we just don't tell them about our meeting." After discussing it, no one was able to come up with a better plan, so they agreed to try it.
Katie said, "Its worth a try, nothing else we've tried has worked."
While packing her bags for the beach, Nancy still didn't think it was the right thing to do. She would just be in the way and Helen and Katie would want to include her in whatever they would be doing with Jim and Dan. Laughing she thought, Jim and Dan are going to love that. She had to agree with Helen when she said it would be good for her to get away for a week. For the past six weeks all she had done did sit around, not want to see anyone or do anything. Maybe a change of scenery would pick her up and get her moving again. She sure hoped so. Since she stopped seeing Craig, life had been miserable, feeling like she was just a bystander, an observer of everything, and a doer of nothing.
Walking up to Nancy's door, Helen and Katie still were not sure she would be going with them. Nancy pulling her bags out the door said, "Let's get going before I change my mind for the 14th time this morning."
Dan and Jim were not having as much success with Craig. He insisted he would not go. "I won't be a fifth wheel at the party; all I'll do is spoil your fun."
That changed when Jim challenged him with, "Afraid you've lost your touch, Craig? Can't even get a date at the beach?" Craig threw some things into a bag and they left for the beach, about an hour behind the girls. As they approached the cottage, Craig began regretting his hasty decision to come. He didn't want to meet some girl; he wanted to be with Nancy.
After unpacking, Dan called the girls and they said to come over. Craig said he'd go for a walk on the beach to see what he might find. Dan and Jim tried to talk him out of it but Craig insisted, so they went over to the girl's place, while Craig headed for the beach.
Nancy told Kate and Helen the same thing when she heard that the guys were coming over.