I was cold… shivering in my boots because I had dressed inappropriately for the weather. It was below freezing that night and I didn’t have on a single piece of practical clothing. All of it was for show. As an innocent twenty-two-year-old woman building her confidence, I wanted to show off to my family how much I had matured over the past few years. You know the saying, “dress to impress?” Well look how well that turned out. There was nobody at all I could see at that isolated old bus stop. It was just me, waiting for a bus that should have arrived two hours prior. I must have missed a crucial detail when going over my itinerary because there was definitely no bus on the way. I was starting to internally panic.

My fashion sense was really not doing me a lot of favors at that point. First off, I was wearing my cute, short, black, designer “fall” boots because I had rewarded myself with them for college graduation earlier this year. I had waited all summer to wear them. They were clearly all for looks because I could barely feel my toes. Then there were my laced, black stockings —  useless — but of course I had to wear them. I must have looked particularly slutty donning a short, dark, denim miniskirt along with an ivory halter top. Luckily I had on my black, leather jacket, which was pulled tightly around my waist as I attempted to keep any amount of heat near my body.

So, why was I stuck at a dark, old bus station? I was on my way to visit my family in Eastern Washington for Thanksgiving. I was a country girl and had been living in Seattle for school, but when I was on my journey home I must have accidentally gotten off at the wrong stop. I was expecting to connect to the last bus on my way to Greenwater, Washington when I ended up in god-knows-where. My sister had just moved back out to my hometown of Nowhere Ville and everyone was going to be at her new place for the weekend. Why did she have to live like an Amish person in the middle of nowhere, forcing me to take three buses just to get there? But more importantly, why wasn’t I paying attention to where I was going and what I was wearing? Not wasting my phone battery on podcasts all day would have been helpful, too. All I wanted was to be independent, but all I had grown into was an arrogant and careless college girl.

It must have been two hours without seeing a single car pass by the stop. There was nothing but the night sky and a couple of street lights to keep me company. Then I remembered that coyotes lived in the area. I was scared. I wasn’t used to being this alone; I wasn’t used to having no place to charge my phone or get warm. Things were getting desperate, and while pleading with the universe I cried, “Please, someone, pull over and let me in at least for a few minutes. I’m so fucking cold!”

Silence. There was nothing. I thought I heard someone pulling around the corner, but it was just the wind reminding me that everything was going to get colder. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and hoped a little more. Suddenly there were lights, and they were coming my way. “Thank Christ!” I shouted. They weren’t just any lights, but those of an 18-wheeler. I ran over and waved, “Hey! Please stop! Don’t leave!” The truck passed me and pulled over. I continued running over. As I got near the handle of the driver’s door, it opened. An older man looked down at me.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” I said, shivering.

“You don’t say. What’s the problem?” he asked

I explained the entire story as fast as I could, waiting for him to welcome me into his truck to get warm. But there was no welcome. There was just him sitting there and scratching his chin while pondering what I told him. As I waited for a response I got a better look at him. He was handsome and looked about mid-40s. His clothes were rugged and durable, all far more practical choices than my clothing. He looked quite comfortable in his truck, unlike myself who was helpless. 

After what felt like forever, he responded, “So you need me to let you get warm and charge your phone? That way you can get a ride to see your family? I think I can help with that.” He smiled as I thanked him. I began to head towards the passenger side of his truck when he interrupted my excitement with something very unexpected. “Hang on just a second,” he said. “There’s a deal we have to make first. You’re taking time out of my work and I’ll probably end up running late.”

“Okay, and… you want money?” I was puzzled and annoyed. I really needed to get out of here and he hadn’t even invited me in.

“It gets lonely out here… I could use a little warmth, myself.”

My confusion quickly turned to shock. I didn’t know what to say. I had absolutely no tools to deal with this situation. After what felt like forever, I muttered, “W-what exactly do you mean?” My face became bright red.

“What do you think I mean?” he responded in a rather amused tone. “You know what I’m talking about. You better decide quick because I have places to be, and it looks like you’re also running out of time.”

“I-I just need to get warm,” I said as I tried to avoid the entire proposition.

“And I’d love to help you with that. I’ll give you three minutes to decide.” He smiled with an assured expression on his face and then shut the truck door, leaving me standing there in the cold.

I found myself panicking for an entirely different reason than I had earlier. I was used to guys hitting on me in obnoxious ways, but I had never been put in this kind of situation in my life! How could this be happening? I felt like a prostitute. But I didn’t see any other choice. The temperature was dropping and I wasn't sure when the next bus would arrive. I thought to myself, “Nobody has to know… Nobody will ever need to know.” I thought that maybe I could do this.

Nearly three minutes went by. Looking up I saw him tap his watch a few times to urge me to decide quickly. After a few more seconds I knocked on the door and he opened it.

“O-okay,” I said quietly.

“What’s that now?” he replied.

“I said okay.” I then looked to the side and tried to avoid eye contact.

“That’s what I thought you said.” He softened a bit and nodded his head towards the other door. I walked around the front of the truck, opened the door and hopped in, still unable to make eye contact.

“This ain’t your first time now is it?”

I couldn’t believe he asked me that. I was going through enough as it were. But he clearly noticed I didn’t have much experience with men or sex in general by awkwardness. I had only been with a couple of guys and the experiences weren’t much to look back on.

“Look,” I responded, “I don’t want to talk. I just want to get warm and then get this over with.”

“There’s no rush, Darlin’, I can see you’re shivering. Here, take this and relax for a bit.”

I wrapped myself in the old flannel throw blanket he handed me while he blasted the heater. I was genuinely thankful, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. He began to look me up and down.

“Why don’t you climb in the back with me and I can really get you warm.”

Saying nothing, I hopped over the seat and sat in the corner, still wrapped up, and closed my eyes just trying to get through the moments. He followed behind and sat rather close beside me.

“You’re quite a beautiful girl.”

I said nothing. He wasn’t phased at all. He just began making small talk about himself, where he was traveling, the weather… Anything but mention what was going to happen over the next couple hours. He put his arm around my shoulders and it became much harder to ignore him. He was actually a very attractive man despite being twenty-plus years older than me. I hated admitting that to myself in that moment—I have always been very stubborn. He started twirling my long brunette hair as his other hand made its way to the top of my thigh. His hands were rough, but warm.

“Feeling better yet?” he asked softly.

“I’m getting there.”

“We have some time. But not too long, Darlin’.”

“I just need ten more minutes.” I still couldn’t make eye contact.

“I can help you.”

He unzipped my boots and took them off, throwing them in the passenger seat. He then moved in closer and began kissing my neck. I was having a mix of emotions. I was scared, but there was another part of me that was beginning to relax. I realized I was starting to like the texture of his stubble and the warmth of his breath on my neck. What did this mean?

“You feel even nicer than you look,” he whispered

I exhaled and my face began to get red again.

He stopped and said, “Let’s see what’s underneath this jacket of yours. It wasn’t doing you any good at keeping you warm anyhow.”

I realized he wanted me to remove it, so I did, and I threw it over the seat. My nipples were hard since the only other layer I had on was my thin top. He noticed and I felt him move in even closer. He then took off his work coat.

“I have something for you,” he said as he grabbed my hand.

“What’s that?” I asked.

He moved my hand on top of his lap and I immediately felt something firm. I gasped quickly and then got silent again.

“You know exactly… Now, are you ready to ‘get this over with?’” He said in a playful yet assured tone.

My emotions were even more confusing than earlier. I went from feeling too cold to suddenly feeling too warm. I threw the blanket off and finally looked up at him not knowing what to do next. Sensing that I seemed lost he quickly began to take action and told me, “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take it slow, for now.”

It wasn’t as slow as he made it seem it was going to be. Within no time his hand was on my stomach, and then underneath my shirt. He went right back to kissing my neck as his fingers began feeling my nipples. It felt good. I exhaled, feeling completely overwhelmed, questioning who I was or what this meant. But I didn’t fret too much. I just kept reminding myself how warm I was and that I was safer in the truck than outside.

He twisted my nipples and I bit my lip, turning away because I didn’t want him to see my reaction. But he noticed and I could feel him smile as he twisted them even more. I whimpered which instantly changed the intensity of his actions.

“I knew this was going to be good the moment I saw you,” he groaned.

In this moment I realized I had no desire to turn back.

(To be continued…)