"Jess are you still up here?" Sam was just outside the bedroom door. I stood there rooted to the spot with my trousers around my ankles and my rapidly softening cock exposed. Jess was still crouched in front of me, unwilling to make any kind of movement. My heart leapt into my mouth as he attempted to turn the door handle, but thankfully Jess had taken the time to lock it. "Jess I just want to apologise okay?" He seemed to know Jess was in that room, maybe because of the light under the door or the scent of jasmine.
I flushed, slowly pulling my trousers back up to cover my modesty. This sparked a reaction from Jess as her eyes flicked up to mine. I raised my eyebrows and motioned towards the door expectantly. She needed to say something. After a few moments hesitation she finally did.
"H... Hey Sam, it's fine I'll be down in a second," she choked out. I could see fear etched across her angelic face.
"I just really need you to know how sorry I am. You know why it's so hard for me to trust somebody, but I do trust you I swear. I just get jealous sometimes even though I know we love each other. Just come out and let's hug this out please!" Sam was rambling and clearly devastated. I found it extremely odd to hear this side of him, he sounded scarily close to tears. A tsunami of guilt crashed over me. I was overwhelmed as I slowly walked backwards and crouched on the edge of the four-poster bed behind me. I saw the same feeling punch Jess square in the face and tears pooled in her eyes.
"I'll... Be down in a second I swear... Just go get me a drink baby..." This seemed to convince him as he mumbled an agreement and stalked away. Two intensely awkward minutes passed by, Jessica remained kneeling in the spot she had just sucked me to orgasm, staring at the floor. I didn't know what to say. There was no way to console her because I was too busy trying to figure everything out myself.
After another two or three agonising minutes, Jess just stood up without looking at me and walked towards the door. My mind was racing to find the words but I just couldn't do it.
"Jess..." She stopped still by the door, openly crying, her body shaking but as I opened my mouth the words failed to materialise again. With a final sob she left the room, leaving me cursing myself and life itself. How had the most magical moment of my life ended the way it had? The conversation between the two of them kept running through my mind. I'd seen a different part of Sam, one that made this all so much harder. Not only that but the way Jess had reacted to him, the way she called him 'baby' just five minutes after sucking me off had my head spinning. I'm not sure how long I laid there but in the end I was disturbed by Will running along the hallway moaning for a toilet and I decided to rejoin the party. Anything to numb that sense of hopelessness.
It was in full swing when I got back downstairs. Jess and Sam were nowhere to be seen so I decided to let loose. Beers started going down as easy as water, drinking games took their toll and I actually allowed myself to have a good night. Unfortunately, I proved my dad right when I got out of the taxi home and threw up all over the side wall of the house. The repercussions, however, would have to wait until morning. I let myself in quietly and grabbed a glass of water to take to bed. It was as I laid there staring at the ceiling in a half drunken state that I finally found the words that had eluded me earlier. It seemed like a brilliant idea to text them at 2am.
'Jess, hey... Here's what I want to say. I'm sorry for what happened earlier. Except I'm not. It felt amazing and not just because I got a blowjob, but because it was you! Sexy, beautiful, caring, amazing Jessica Thorne threw herself at me. My best friend, the love of my life. I've wanted this for as long as I've known what this even is. I know you feel the way I do, you've shown that so pick me. Pick me Jess because I am completely head over heels in love with you. Text back when you see this xoxoxo.' My finger hovered over send for a few seconds before finally pressing it. I let go a breath I didn't know was being held.
"JAMES!" I was rudely awakened by a shrill scream from my mother. A glance at the alarm clock told me it was 8.30am and a quick check of my phone showed no reply. "Clean that shit up! Now!" I groaned aloud at the dull ache at the back of my head. The day dragged by and I got no reply all day from Jess, or the next day, or the one after that. I decided to text her again.
'Jess, please. This is torture xoxo.' It wasn't until later that evening I finally got a reply.
'Trust me James, I know what this is xo,' was her response. I was quick to reply.
'Jess let's not do this over text that was stupid of me. My parents are going out this evening come over and we can talk all this through properly. xoxo' I knew what her response would be before it even came through.
'Bad idea matey. I can't be near you right now, especially not alone. xox' It gave me hope knowing I had an effect on her.
'Jess, we're going to university together in two days. We can't just ignore this. xox'
'Fine, I'll come. xox' My heart lifted when she gave in. We agreed for her to get there at 7 which gave us at least a few hours with the house to ourselves.
When the doorbell rang bang on 7 o clock I practically ran to the door. Jess gave me a small, but warm, smile as I opened it for her. I pulled her straight into a tight hug which she didn't reject.
"James, let's talk." I heard her muffled voice as she spoke into my chest so I unwillingly released her from my hold and we went through to the living room. She spoke first as we sat down."Okay James, the main reason I came here was so that I could apologise to you directly. I was extremely drunk and highly emotional the other night. What I did..." She paused briefly at this point and a blush spread across her cheeks. I also noticed she was refusing to make eye contact with me. "... It was inexcusable. It never should have happened and it won't be happening again. I want us to forget these past couple of weeks and look ahead to our university life." I let her finish what she had to say but I wasn't buying any of it.
"Bullshit." The word came out harshly. She looked taken aback and for the first time her eyes met mine. I saw her features soften. "It's bullshit Jess. What happened should have happened, maybe not in those circumstances but there's no denying this." I gestured with my hands at us and she looked lost for words. "Look I shouldn't have sent all that shit in a stupid text message the other night. I got wasted and it seemed like a great idea. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously because let me spell it out to you Jess. I... Love... You." She started shuffling in her seat, unsure of what to say. It was funny to see an English Literature student so lost for words. "I'm sorry but it's true. I love you, I love you, I love you and I'm done just being friends. We could be amazing if you just let us Jess." She looked across at me as I moved over to the sofa she was sat on. The scent of jasmine delighted me as I breathed her in.
"James... I can't..." She spoke the words but really her body did all the talking. She had subconsciously positioned herself to face me and had wet her lips ready for what she truly wanted. My moral compass was nowhere to be found.
"Yes you can Jessica. It's me and you. This is real. You feel it and I feel it. Now kiss me." I commanded and she immediately responded, pushing herself on to me with force enough to push me against the back of the sofa.