BIG DICK McSHAG
SATISFACTION AND DISCRETION GUARANTEED
LENGTH: 10 INCHES (25 CM)
GIRTH: 8 INCHES (20 CM)
PRICE: NEGOTIABLE
CALL NOW: 078XXXXXXXX
There could hardly be any doubt what the card was about. For a big man, Phil was less than adequately endowed in the one department every man believes really counts. It had always been a source of embarrassment to him, and though his wife was sweet and said that it was what he did with it that counted, her selection of toys hardly erred on the side of modesty.
He sat there a while, feeling physically ill. He’d never been a smoker, but he suddenly understood why some might feel a craving in times of stress. His wife! How could Emma do such a thing? He should have it out with her, of course, but there were so many conflicting feelings battling for supremacy. Having turned things over and over in his mind, he took out his mobile and dialled the number.
He didn’t like the sound of the man who styled himself “Big Dick”. Not only did he sound like a right chancer, he was also very guarded. “You understand, Phil,” he said. “I never divulge any information about who has or has not availed themselves of my services.”
Big Dick sounded as if he’d learned this line off the TV. “But what if it was your wife?” Phil demanded.
Big Dick gave a little chuckle. “Fortunately I’ve never been tempted to get hitched,” he said. “There are plenty of willing takers for my services, most of them married. A man gets a bit cynical after a while.”
Phil was astounded by the man’s effrontery. “But…”
“But there is nothing to say your wife… Emma, was it?”
“It is.”
“Emma… has ever been in touch. I’m not sparing with my business cards. They’re all over the place.”
That may well be the case. But Phil wasn’t so sure. At the back of his mind he was remembering… There was nothing to say Emma had phoned up Big Dick McShag, far less done anything, but Phil had been running things through his mind for a while now, and he just knew. Or rather, he felt that there might be a way to become certain. He was almost certain. There was something about Big Dick’s manner. However guarded he tried to be, it seemed to Phil that the man was gloating.
“Yes, I see,” he said. He was being eaten up inside as he took the plunge. “The thing is, Mr McShag…” How stupid was he actually calling the man that? “I want to make you a proposition.”
*
The call over, Big Dick McShag let out a huge sigh of relief. It wasn’t unknown for irate husbands to phone him up and give him a piece of their mind. Those calls he could handle. However many threats they made, no part of Big Dick McShag came close to his real name, and the number couldn’t be traced. He didn’t advertise openly, but word and his business cards spread easily enough. From that point of view he felt pretty safe. He just wished that some women weren’t so careless.
This, though… This proposition of Phil’s, this was in a whole other league. There was no way he was doing it the way Phil had suggested. The man was out of his mind. Still, the money was good – very good. It might be doable, but first he needed to make sure. He had calls to make.
Seven hours later, down the pub with a pint in front of him and his two mates Winston and Danny there, he was doing his best to bat away their reservations. “Trust me on this,” he said. “You know I don’t take risks.”
“I don’t know,” Winston said. “The dude sounds completely bonkers.”
“Some people, eh?” Danny chimed in.
Big Dick shrugged. “It takes all sorts…”
“What if it’s a set up?” Danny tried.
“There’s three of us,” Big Dick said. “Anyway, I’ll get assurances.”
“Assurances,” Danny said, mulling the word over. “I like that. I just think the whole thing is so out there that there’s got to be some catch.”
“Think about the money,” Big Dick said.
“What good’s the money if we land ourselves in hot water?” Winston said.
“We won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Haven’t you been listening? Trust me. I’ve got it sorted just fine, but I need you two to be on board.” Big Dick took a sip of his pint. “Anyone would think you were being cagey about this because you don’t want to feel inferior.”
“There is that,” Winston agreed, nodding, a huge smile on his face. “I’m pretty pissed off to find that some white dude’s hung heavier than me”.
“Take it in your stride, Winston,” Big Dick said. “Anyway, it wouldn’t be the first time we’d got stuck into a bird, all three of us.”
“Is she a looker?” Danny asked.
Big Dick grinned wolfishly. They were with him. They just needed that extra encouragement “Fitter than you’d ever know,” he said. “And once she gets a cock inside her, she’s a loud one. Real dirty mouth on her, too.”
Winston and Danny looked at each other. There was still an air of doubt, but Big Dick knew they’d run out of objections. The game was on.
*
“Well, Phil,” Big Dick said. “All we need is for you to sign on the dotted line and we can get the show on the road.”
Phil read the document thoroughly, feeling the three men’s eyes on him. There was nothing to stop him from stopping this; nothing at all. He twiddled the pen between his fingers. He still didn’t like the man who called himself Big Dick. Normally he wouldn’t have trusted such a figure to empty his bin. Signing this piece of paper was foolhardy. If it ever came to light, his goose wouldn’t just be cooked, it would be burnt to a cinder. On the other hand, he doubted Big Dick would be keen to produce it under any circumstance whatsoever. Big Dick, who had called him back, proposing a change to the plan that almost gave Phil a heart attack; he wanted to bring his mates along. “That’s what you want, isn’t it, Phil? To teach the little lady a lesson?”
That wasn’t what Phil had wanted at all. He just wanted certainty, the flicker of recognition in his wife’s eyes. Somehow, Big Dick had managed to get under his skin. Teaching his wife a lesson wasn’t what he’d had in mind, but he’d found himself saying, “Yes, yes, of course.” He twiddled the pen again, before finally adding the required squiggle to the document.
“That’s step one,” Big Dick said as he folded the sheet of paper and slipped it into his inside pocket. “Now step two. The money.”
Phil produced the notes from his trouser pocket. This too was patently stupid of him. What was to say the three of them wouldn’t just abscond with the money? Though perhaps that would be for the best. Big Dick took the wad and chucked it to Winston. “Count it,” he said.
There was a tense pause as Winston flicked through the notes. “All there,” he said.
“Well then,” Big Dick said, smiling at Phil in a way that made the man’s stomach turn in on its own emptiness. “You say the missus usually gets home at quarter past five?”
Phil nodded. “She knocks off at five. It’s a quarter of an hour drive, give or take.”
“Then we don’t have much time, do we?” Big Dick decided.
A chair was lifted from the kitchen and placed in the lounge in an out-of-the-way position. Phil sat down on it, a horrible feeling making his belly heavy and his head light. It was all so very wrong. What was he doing? Then he felt a surge of anger. It was all Emma’s fault, for having that wretched man’s business card in her possession in the first place. That’s what you want, isn’t it, Phil? To teach the little lady a lesson?
There was rope. The three men combined forces, securing Phil to the chair, binding his wrists behind the chair, his ankles to the legs of the chair, his torso to the back of the chair. Then came the question he didn’t want to have to answer. Not out loud.
“Are you sure you still want to go through with this?”
He swallowed hard. Did he? It hardly seemed to matter anymore. He’d set the train in motion, and now he didn’t know where the hell the brake was. “Yes,” he said, hating the way his voice faltered.
“Grand!” Big Dick exclaimed. “I’m going to enjoy this.”
The looks on the two other men’s faces suggested they were feeling the same way. Again Phil’s stomach lurched. Now there was only the wait, the tense wait.
In the event the wait lasted just under ten minutes, Emma arriving home a little earlier than expected. They all heard the front door opening, heard her call out. Big Dick, Winston and Danny spread out in anticipation. Emma appeared in the doorway. Her mouth opened as she saw her husband sitting there, tied to the chair, looking mortally ashamed of himself. “What the fuck’s going on?” she said.
She had a Scots accent. Big Dick had said she was a looker. This was a slight exaggeration. Emma was hardly model material, but she was very well kept for a woman midway between 40 and 50. Her dark hair was bunched up on her head, her work uniform of black nylons, black knee-length skirt, white blouse and dark jacket gave her an appearance as professional as it was sexy.
Phil could see how the men were staring at her with lustful, ravenous expressions. His heart sank, but it was done, and he must play his part. His wife had extracted her mobile from her bag. “I’m calling the police,” she said.
“Don’t!” Phil cried, his voice leaping several octaves in one syllable. “They’ve got a gun!”
Emma looked around. “I don’t see a gun,” she said.
The distraction gave Big Dick the time he needed to stride across and snatch both bag and phone from the woman. She let out an angry bark as Big Dick moved across to take up a position behind her husband. “We were just leaving anyway,” he said, casually rummaging through the bag. “Mind you, we’ve found precious little worth taking.” He brought out a roll of notes, slipping them into his pocket, catching Emma’s eye as he did so. “Trouble is, there’s not much here either. Looks like this has all been a complete waste of time.”
“Get out of my fucking house!” Emma snarled, as Big Dick dumped her bag and mobile on the floor.
“Attitude!” Big Dick warned. Then he laughed. “Fact is, I like a feisty lady.”
“Get out!” Emma persisted.
“Emma, they’ve got a gun!” Phil exclaimed.
Stupid prick, Big Dick thought. Phil had only been given the one line. He didn’t have to repeat it. Outwardly he grinned as he moved towards Emma. “Thing is,” he said. “I don’t really like leaving places until I’ve had something worth taking.”
He was close enough to Emma for her to take aim. The palm of her hand just about connected as he turned his head to avoid it. He laughed as Winston and Danny moved across the room. “Like I said, I like a feisty lady.”
“Get off me!” Emma shouted as Winston and Danny grabbed hold of her, pulling her arms back and holding her as she struggled with her whole body.
Big Dick strolled up to them, looking Emma in the eye as he reached round behind her to cop a feel of her arse, then skilfully dodged the knee she brought up dangerously close to his crotch. “Nice tits,” he said, squeezing one as he turned to look at Phil, whose pallor was now one step away from that of a corpse. “Bet your missus is a real goer,” he said. “Am I right?”
“Eat shit!” Emma spat.
Big Dick turned to face her, addressing the two men holding her. Get her on the couch he said, watching as the two men dragged the struggling female to the sofa, pinning her down so that she sat slumped, feet kicking out as Big Dick came close. He made an attempt to grab hold of her ankles, but to no avail.
“Don’t make me get the gun out!” he shouted, eyes boring into hers.
To his surprise it was Phil who spoke. “Leave her alone.” His voice was all trembly, and for a moment Big Dick wasn’t quite sure if he was having second thoughts; this wasn’t in the script. He turned, stalking across to Phil and raising an arm as if to hit him. It was then that the man gave the briefest of nods, and at that moment Big Dick read in Phil’s eyes just how much he wanted to see this, even if he didn’t realise it himself. He was just making sure he was seen and heard to protest.
Big Dick bunched his fist. Phil had a point; better make it look real enough. “Got anything more to say?” he said. “Or are you keen on keeping your teeth?”
“Don’t!” Emma said.
Big Dick turned. “What’s that now?”
“Don’t hurt him!”
Big Dick walked slowly back to the couch, stopping within kicking distance. “Are you going to be a good girl then?”
Emma nodded. “Say it!” Big Dick shouted. “Are you going to be a good girl?”
“Yes,” Emma said, eyes blazing. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt my husband.”
This brought a smile to Big Dick’s face. “So what do you think I want?” he asked.
“You tell me,” Emma replied.
Big Dick stepped forward. Emma really did seem to be subdued now, her legs remained still and he could easily bend forward and grab hold of her ankles. Everything was tension as he pushed her legs up. You could have heard a pin drop if it hadn’t been for the sound of five people breathing heavily. Big Duck muscled his way in between Emma’s legs. Staring straight into her eyes he pulled her skirt up. Then he grabbed hold of her tights and ripped the crotch out of them.
“You’ve ruined an expensive pair of tights, you sod,” Emma told him.
“What of it?” Big Dick replied. His hands were already on her panties, pulling, ripping to expose the woman’s private parts. “Who wants to get her ready?” he asked.
Winston, who was holding the woman’s right side, reached out a hand to touch her cunt. “Don’t pussyfoot around,” Big Dick told him. “From the look of her I’d say she has wet dreams about black cock.”
Winston grinned. “My pleasure,” he said.
Emma made a sudden move, a lurch of resistance, and Winston was forced to concentrate on pushing her back.
“You really want me to thump your husband?” Big Dick asked.
He stomped towards Phil, only to pass the chair before turning around. Emma’s sudden burst of defiance had subsided. Big Dick shrugged off his jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt. “What are you waiting for?” he said to Winston. “Get stuck into her. Amuse her bush with a bit of black cock.”
Winston fumbled with his fly, managing to move round between Emma’s thighs while Danny remained pushing down on her, in case she tried anything on. Big Dick continued to strip. He was down to his underpants when Emma began to scream.
