This is a story about a girl I liked back in the day who didn't realize the power of her curves. This is the story of Devin's Room.
When I first saw Devin, looking at her from a distance, there was something about her. It was sophomore year in high school. I could not explain it. I was mystified. She had long, black, Pocahontas-like hair. She had pretty light brown skin, and a slender figure then. We had English class together for one semester. It turned out that she was the popular one. I was the complete polar opposite. She got attention from almost all of the boys in the class, obviously.
“Hey, Devin,” one said.
“Hey...”
“Hey...” they said, waving.
While I looked at her and thought:
“Really?"
I looked at her more and more, it turned out my feelings weren't bullshit. The exact moment where I was attracted to her, the exact moment where I liked her and I didn't even know why was this.
We were covering a novel in English class. One day, we were watching a movie. In true high school fashion, we had to do a worksheet on it covering the book and movie. I did mine quickly. Devin, however...
“Hey,” she said, sitting next to me. “You got the answers to the worksheet?"
I shrugged and gave my answers to her. As the movie went on, I noticed her lips. They were perfect. I wanted to kiss them. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to taste them. She licked them. I became erect. I wanted her. I wanted her bad. She eventually gave my completed worksheet back to me.
“Thanks,” she said.
“Don't mention it,” I replied.
Ever since then, the way I looked at Devin changed forever. I ended up finally mustering enough strength to ask her out at the end of the semester, towards Christmas. I sighed and said, “Has it come to this?"
But she ended up waving me goodbye. Mostly because of me. Partly because of her. Mostly because I picked the wrong way to ask her. I wrote Shakespearean sonnets in a land of wannabe rappers for her. I brought that on myself.
When she got a boyfriend, in junior year, I looked at him and there was a maddening feeling inside of my body. They say, "Jealousy is an ugly trait." But nonetheless, I didn't trust him at all. At this time, Devin was little by little getting more attention. Her hips were getting wider. Her butt was slowly getting bigger. I got madder. It was like I was in denial.
“He don't love you,” I thought. “Fuck him.”
I eventually became a non-factor in her mind. Sure, she still said hi to me, but it felt like it started to get worse and worse. I wrote about her more and more. I started to do things that I would never do, like listen to love songs that you would never gravitate toward. That was most likely a sign. Along with many others. I wrote about what she was wearing that day. I wrote about how good she looked in her tight jeans, or even better, her yoga pants. I even talked to my own mother about her, which was probably the biggest sign of them all. I then realized:
“Am I obsessed over her? Lusting over her? Or... No. I couldn't be.”
The next year came, which was our senior year. At this time everyone that knew me knew I at least had a crush on Devin. Towards the end of the school year, I saw her attention from the opposite sex peak. One day, I wanted to cop a feel on her beautiful, plump buttocks so bad. Until something beat me to it. That something was about ten boys (including her boyfriend at the time) thinking the same thing I was. I couldn't help but laugh. And I was thinking these two things:
“Damn, I wonder why she won't embrace that ass.” And two: “That dude... I really don't trust him.”
Eventually, I was right. I said I love you to her. Actually, I wrote those words to her. I remember them. I wrote them on the back of her senior picture. And still, to this day, I don’t know if I actually did love her... Until now.
After high school, Devin and I went to college together in town for a while. So, one time in particular, I saw her by my house washing her car with her new boyfriend’s car. I knew her new boyfriend since we were kids ironically. However, said boyfriend was not with her. So, that day I was walking home from the corner store, when I saw an unmistakable booty bending in the distance.
“I know that ass. Devin?"
“Hey, long time no see," she said.
“What's up, girl?" I said, smiling. She then hugged me. Her scent smelled so good to me.
“Nothing much. Just working. You?”
“College, writing, other than that... Not much else,” I said. “How’s Don doing?"