I'm sitting in the chair beside Damien's bed, waiting for him to wake up. I feel his hand move ever so slightly in mine so I open my eyes. His eyes are closed but he's scowling and trying to move his right arm, which is has an IV attached to it. 

"Hey, baby. Don't move ok? You just got out of surgery," I say softly and squeeze his hand. He opens his eyes and has to squint against the brightness of the lights.

"Jane?" he asks, his voice a little hoarse.

"Do you want some water?" I ask and he nods slowly, so I press the nurse call button of the side of his bed. Jenny comes into his room and smiles. 

"Hi, Mr. Parker. I'm Jenny. I'm glad you see you're awake."

"He wants some water," I say and try to ignore her flirtatious smile at him. I look back to him and he's still looking at me. 

"I'll have to double check with his doctor, but for now just give him some ice chips. We don't want anything that's too heavy on his stomach in case he gets nauseous," she says and I nod, still looking at Damien.

"Ok, thank you. That's all we needed."

She smiles again and says,"Ok, just let me know if either of you need anything."

"I'm going to go get your some ice chips, ok?" He squeezes my hand and brings it up to his lips. 

"Are you ok?" he murmurs against my hand and tears come back to my eyes.

"Yes, baby, I'm fine," I whisper and he smiles a small smile. 

"Baby? I like the sound of that. I remember you kept calling me that at the store, and I liked it." His eyes are closed again so I kiss his forehead.

"I'll be right back, I promise." My voice still low, I slowly pull my hand from his and leave to get his ice chips.

Present...

I walk down the street towards my apartment. It's been one month and twelve days since Damien was shot, although it still feels like yesterday. I just got off work, and all I can think about is Damien and how much I miss him. I think back to that night as I walk. When I focus hard enough on it, I can still feel his blood on my hands and my knees shaking through my calmness.

Damien's been on sick leave from work since the shooting, so I don't see him as much as I'd like. I go to his house every day after work and fill him in on all of the drama he's missed and help him with his physical therapy. We don't talk about the shooting, he says he doesn't want to so I have to respect that. He says he doesn't remember anything, but his comments at the hospital make me believe otherwise.

I walk up the steps toward his front door and slide my key into the lock. 

"Damien?" I call and hear him talking in his office. I walk in and see him at his computer on the phone. I wave softly and he smiles at me and motions me over. I walk over to him and staddle his lap and lean my forehead against his shoulder. 

He kisses the side of my head and continues talking. After a few minutes, he hangs up and tosses his phone onto his desk. 

"Hi, baby. I'm sorry that took so long," he says and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Mmm. No, that's ok," I murmur against his skin; he's just in a white beater and shorts.

"How was work?"

"Boring, it was much more entertaining with you there..." He laughs softly and put his hand on his side where he was shot. I don't know if it still actually hurts, or if he's expecting the pain. "How're you feeling? Did you do your physical therapy, today?"

"Yes, mother. Thank you." He says and pushes me away softy. I stand up and and furrow my brow.

"Why are you pushing me away?"

"I'm not, I'm just... Jane, I'm twenty-nine. I don't need another mom. I know I need to work on this, I know I need to hurry up and get back to work. Trust me, I know. I don't need you to remind me constantly," he says and starts to stand. He tries to hide his wince, but I notice it.

"Damien, I'm not trying to be your mother. I'm just trying to help you. I've helped you with everything throughout this whole situation so are you just now getting mad at me? If you don't want me to help then-"

"Are you fucking serious?! Did I ask you to help me?! Even one time?! No! I didn't! I do things on my own, Jane, I always have! You don't know me or my life so don't stand there and start preaching to me about how you've been such an angel to me and how you've gone out of your way to help me through this! I'm not some poor little baby who needs his mommy to come save him, alright?!" He's yelling now, so I take a step back.

"You're not a baby? You could have fooled me, because you're acting like a child. Maybe you should sit down for a minute and think about how you just spoke to me," I say, my voice flat. He's breathing hard from his anger, but he's just glaring at me,"Take a breath, Damien. You're a child." I turn and walk out of his office, shutting the door as I leave. 

I'm looking through his fridge when he walks out into the kitchen a little while later. 

"Hey..." he says softly and stops at the breakfast bar," That was fucked up... what I said to you."

I turn around and lean against the counter.

"Oh? You think?" I shake my head and look down at my feet before looking back up to him,"I hope you actually mean that and you honestly see that I'm really just trying to help you."

"I'm not good at this. I've never been in a serious relationship like this. My work is my life, Jane, honestly. My dad was never home because he was always at work. My mom worked from home, but I saw her less than my dad. I'm not good at emotions and dating and being intimate with someone. I fuck woman, I don't make love. I don't know how. I don't know how to do this," he motions between the two of us.

"It doesn't come naturally to me like it does to most people. I'm just kinda stuck in this weird place. I could love you, Jane. I honestly swear to you that I could... I think I might already. I just... I'm scared of this... of this relationship. I need you to help me out, here. I'm sorry for saying those things to you. I should've never said that. I've never had someone take care of me before and I'm really fucking bad at handling that. I feel useless, and I feel like I owe you more than I can ever repay."

I stare at him and watch him walk over to me. He grabs my hips and looks into my eyes. 

"We don't talk about the shooting because I don't want to; and I don't want to because I've never been that scared in my life. I'm so scared of my feelings for you because I got shot and all I could think was that I didn't want you to be scared or sad when I died," his voice starts to waver, but he doesn't look away from me," I was bleeding on the floor, watching you try to cover the hole and all I wanted to was hold you and tell you that everything would be alright. That's what I was trying to tell you, but I couldn't because my words were failing me, AGAIN. I don't ever want to do wrong by you, but I feel like I did that night. I fucked up and got shot because I just wanted to get you out of there. I'm not good at this, Jane, I'm not. I will never say that I am, but I'm just asking you not to give up on me."

I'm looking up at him and I realize he's never been this vulnerable. He's looking back and forth between my eyes, waiting for me to say something; I just grab his face with both of my hands.

"I love you, Damien. I don't need you to say it back, because I know you will when you're ready. I just need you to know that I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Now kiss me..." I say and he smiles infinitesimally before he crushes his lips to mine.

I part my lips and push my tongue into his mouth and I pull him into me. He moans softly against my lips as his tongue reaches mine. He slides his hands up my back and into my hair. I pull away from him and shake my head.

"We can't, doctor's orders. You're supposed to be taking it easy," I say and he pulls my hair, pulling my head to the side so he can kiss my neck." But maybe we can if you don't do much?" I feel his laugh against my neck.

"Come on, baby..." he whispers and takes my hand, leading me into the bedroom.

He strips off his pants and I sit him down on the edge of the bed.

I unzip my boots and kick them off before moving to my slacks. I pull those off and drop them. He runs his hands under my shirt along my stomach before grabbing the hem and pulling it over my head. He lifts his arms up and I help him take off his shirt. He slowly slides back on the bed and I pull his boxers off for him, laying them on the floor with the rest of our clothes. I slowly slide my black and white late thong down my thighs, knowing that he's watching me with hungry eyes. I look up at him and bite my lip as I unclip my bra and let it fall to the floor.

His lips part slightly and I raise one eyebrow.

"Like what you see, Mr. Parker?" I ask and he growls deep in his throat. I laugh as I climb onto the bed and straddle him. I slowly slide down onto his erection and gasp gently. It's been way too long...

He grabs my hips as I bounce slowly on him.

"Tell me if I hurt you, ok?" I ask and he nods, moving his hands up to my breasts. He holds them softly as they bounce against his palms. 

"Jane, fuck. I've missed you," he murmurs,"You're so tight..." he hisses, his jaw clenched.

I tighten my muscles around him and swivel my hips as I slowly slide back down on him. I place my hands on his chest as I ride him. I feel him start to stiffen so I dig my nails into him. I feel him shoot him load into me and it's my undoing. I fall and fall as he calls my name.

I kiss his chest softly a few times as we try to calm our breath.

"Sleep, baby..." I whisper and kiss each eyelid gently before kissing his lips. I slowly pull off of him and head out to look for something to make him for dinner.

Damien

I'm running down the street. It's dark, and there's no one around me. The edges of my vision are cloudy and shaky, but I have to keep running. Jane's in trouble and I have to get there. I burst into the store and she's there, alive and looking at me. I'm instantly relieved and I call her to me. The man behind the counter points his gun at me, but all I can think is that I have to get Jane out of here... She has to make it out. 

I call her to me again and I hear the sound before I feel it. Everything slows and I look at Jane, I have to know it didn't hit her. Her eyes are closed and for a second I think it did, but then I feel it. I fall to the floor and look up at her. The pain is excruciating, but seeing her scared and vulnerable is worse. I can't leave her, not like this. 

She's at my side, trying to find the entrance wound and I just want to hold her. She's grabbing my face and talking to me, but I can't hear her words. Someone's screaming. Her face is calm, but I feel her hands shaking as she tries to apply more pressure. I'm going to die today, and I can't leave her while she's afraid. She's talking to someone, but finally looks back to me. I have to tell her not to be afraid, that she'll be ok. I grab her hand and squeeze, but I feel my muscles fail me. 

"No, no, no, no. Jane. It's ok." I want to say, but my words won't come out. I can't breath. I feel my eyes start to shut, but her voice pulls me back. I have to comfort her, she has to make it through this. 

"Jane..." I finally say, but she interrupts me.

Everything around me shatters. I'm now alone in this store, and I'm not longer bleeding.

"Jane?" I call and stand up, I hear something coming from one of the aisles so I follow it. Jane's on the floor, bleeding. I run to her, but my feet won't move fast enough. When I finally get to her, her eyes are closed.

"Jane! Jane, no! Please, no. Wake up, beautiful. You have to wake up." I say as I kneel beside her. I start compressions, but can't stop yelling her name. She has to wake up...

Everything around me starts to shake before it suddenly crumbles. I open my eyes and she's there beside me, grabbing my shoulders.

"Damien! Wake up, baby. It's just a bad dream, you're home. You're ok," she says as I take in my surroundings.

Jane

I hear Damien yelling from the kitchen. I drop my spatula and run to his room. He's twisting and writhing on the bed, screaming my name over and over. 

When he finally wakes up, he seems dazed and confused.

"Fuck!" he yells and sits up. 

"Are you alright?" I ask softly and her covers his face with his hands. 

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Does that happen often?"

"I said I'm fine, darlin', but thank you," he says and kisses my forehead. He slides passed me and off the bed and heads into the bathroom. I wonder if it was about the shooting, but I realize I probably shouldn't ask.

We sit at the table eating quietly, neither one of us really talking. Once we're done, I put the dishes into the dishwasher and grab my shoes and purse.

"I should probably go..." I say quietly and he nods.

"Alright."

"You know you can talk to me."

"I know, I just don't want to talk to anyone about it. Please don't take it personally," he says to his hands. I grab them both in one of mine and bring them to my lips.

"Ok, I won't. Just tell me if you need anything, I'll just be at the apartment."

"Please be careful."

"I always am... But I'm excited for you to come back to work on Monday. I think it'll be good for you."

He laughs softly,"Yeah, ok." 

He kisses me chastely and I leave. On the drive home, I try not to think. I don't need to worry about his nightmares, too.

~~~~~~~~
Damien's first week back was successful, we both got a lot done. We haven't spoken about his nightmares, but he seems tired... Hopefully my surprise for tonight will wake him up a little...

I'm sitting at the breakfast bar in his kitchen when he comes home. I knew he had a late meeting today, so I'd have time to get everything set up before he got here. I stand when he enters the kitchen and his jaw drops. I'm only in a red corseted lingerie top and a matching red thong. 

"Hey, love... what's up?" he asks, he seems confused. 

"I wanted to congratulate you on your first week back at work. Thought maybe we could try something a little different..." He tosses his keys onto the counter and slowly walks over to me.

"Well I think I like it so far..." he says, his voice husky. He places both of his hands on my butt, and slowly slides them up my sides, passed my breasts, and into my hair. He leans down to kiss me, but I turn my head.

"Nope... not yet," I whisper and grab his hand, leading him into the bedroom. There's three sets of handcuffs lying on the bed.

"You want me to handcuff you?" he asks, the excitement clear in his eyes.

"Only if you want to..." He grins wide and kisses me hard before I can turn away. 

"Fuck, yes... is that even a question?" 

I lie back on the bed and place a handcuff on each ankle. He handcuffs the adjoining cuff to the post at either side of the end of the bed.

He handcuffs one wrist, and wraps the other cuff through the headboard post and clicks it onto the other wrist.

"There, firmly cuffed," he says and I laugh softly as his proud expression. I look over at the nightstand, and he does the same. He grabs my vibrator and tilts his head at me.

"Ahh. I see... not as innocent as I thought."

"Well, Damien... why would you ever think I was innocent?" I ask mockingly and he laughs. 

I pull against the handcuffs and and he just shakes his head, a hungry look in his eyes. 

"Nope, you're not going anywhere... You're mine."