I kick off my shoes after a long day serving drinks at the country club. I groan and reach down to press on the red areas of my feet. Damn it...I need new shoes...or I need to stop standing for so long. I’m sure they’re swollen. I close the hotel room door, which is where I live since it’s closer to my job and cuts rent in half. $30 a night beats $950 any day. That’s not even including bills. At my last place, a one-room apartment, my rent was $1250. I’m saving $350, which is nice. I can use it on necessities.

I walk to the club, which is five miles away. I don’t mind walking twice daily to keep my stomach flat. I stride barefoot on wood floors, wincing each time they flop. My soles are killing me! I open a glass door of a shower-tub combo in a white bathroom. Then I lean to clog the tub and run cool water. I turn to the vanity, where a bowl sink and tall mirror are.

An olive-skinned, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl stares back at me in the mirror. Hmm...I’m breaking out. I move closer to examine the pimples all over my forehead. “Ugh! I need to cut out sugar.” My light voice pouts, then sighs. My hands open a bottom cabinet on the vanity to retrieve Epsom salt. My fingers curl up the bottom of the high-waisted jeans I have on. I walk back to the tub and pour the salt in. I sit on the wide ledge and swing my feet over to submerge them into the steaming water. I exhale in pleasure. Ahh...that’s so much better! A buzz from my back pocket makes me smirk. I slide it out, face unlock my phone, and click on Tinder. Nine messages wait. I reply to each.

Your eyes are so big and beautiful! - Thank you, I’m flattered.

Are you free tonight? ? - No, I’m not free tonight. I just got back from work. I’m exhausted.

You’re so fucking hot! I wonder how much hotter you can make me ;)

Hello beautiful <3 can we FaceTime? - Maybe tomorrow.

Hi there, how’s your night going? I hope it’s as fine as you - Lol, nice pickup. My night was busy. How’s yours?

I want you in my bed. I want to suckle your nipples…

Can I ask you something? - Sure, what is it?

Bring that pussy, baby; you’ll love what I’ll do to it . - I hope that’s not all talk...

Hi, I’m Mark. What are you looking for on here? - Hi, I’m Madison. I’m looking to sext, but without showing anything. What about you?

I rub my sore back as I view 3k matches and swipe right on a dozen. Each of the guys are Cali 10s and could even be models. But I know looks don’t always mean the guy will be the one. Hot guys are sluts....man whores, not husband material. They’re good to toy with and nice to look at, but that wears off after a while. Beautiful men don’t seem to settle down until they’ve sown their oats as much as possible. I need someone who’s hubby material. I’m not dumb. I know I won’t find that on Tinder. I’m just on the app to pass the time while I wait for Mr. Right

Some people think men don’t want virgins. But I think men find it hotter than any fast girl or cam girl. Judging by all the men in my inbox, which has to be close to one hundred, I found that this surprises and arouses them. I haven’t had one guy get turned off; instead, they wonder how tight I am. I love telling them I’m completely untouched. No insertion of any kind has gone inside me. Sex toys aren’t for everyone. Some guys ask if I don’t have experience, then how would I be good at sex? I study technique books for mouth positions and sex positions. Their stunned replies always amuse me. I guess they think virgins are still living in the 1950s. They probably think I don’t masturbate...I do. I’m not entirely insane! All I know is that I won’t be unprepared. Whoever my future husband is will be screaming on our wedding night. And yes, the honeymoon will be traditional. No sex beforehand...yet fooling around will be allowed.

In the morning, I wake with my hair all over my head and the sheets in a twist around my body. The alarm from my phone blares the air-raid siren. The only sound that works for me. I shower with watermelon body wash and rinse my hair with it too. I’m sure to use feminine soap thoroughly and even squat to get the hard-to-reach places. I scrub and rinse myself three times, then bend to do the same below. The setting of the showerhead is on sprinkler mode to line my butt crack, much like douching without the ball tool.

I wash the suds from my hair, flip it back, then get out. I take two towels from a rack and wrap one around my head, then one around my breast. Breasts that are a 24b cup, I’d like them bigger and higher. This is one of my flaws. If only I had money to throw away on my insecurities. The FaceTime tone vibrates my phone. I rush to the counter and read the screen. Who is JohnnyB, and why is he FaceTiming me? I ignore it and dress. I snap on a dream angels bra from Victoria’s Secret, slip into black jeans and a cream shirt, and plop my feet into work shoes. My hands rub the towel across my head, then lower it to wring out the bottom strands. On the way out, I slide the phone into my back pocket and tie my hair into a bun. The weather outside is scorching. The sun is working overtime, and the wind is nonexistent. Oh god, why didn’t I grab a bottled water?!

My legs power walk the busy streets of downtown California. Gas stations, restaurants, banks, theaters, libraries, and cafes line the way to the Santa Rosa Country Club. I work at a private estate that resembles a mansion full of oval windows. It has the greenest grass ever. The gold and gray roof shingles give it a feel of a beach house on steroids. The balconies and pillars which connect the bottom foundation are classy and enormous. The acres of land that enclose the estate hold ponds and golf resorts as far as the eye can see. I’ve been working here for three years now and enjoy the favoritism from my boss. I offered to take double shifts only if I could ditch dress pants. Slacks don’t look good on everyone...I look disproportioned in them. The little hips I have disappear, and my butt flattens like an old woman’s. I couldn’t look like that at a fancy ass country club! My future husband could be here and get turned off! Although, that’s a pipe dream.

It’s not that easy to snag a rich man. My friend Lily and I have been trying, but the wives always cock block. Either them or their children. Sometimes the husbands visit without their family wanting a booty call. It’s crazy how men think women are all hoes. Hard pass. However, it was fun flirting with the dudes. Us girls need to strengthen our dirty talk game somehow. I reach the lobby of the clubhouse and am relieved when the central air hits me when the double doors open. I gasp as a shuddering sensation jolts my entire body. I wonder if that’s what it feels like when a guy cums inside a woman. If so, yes, please. A wide staircase on dark pink walls trimmed with white greets me. On each side of the large room sit two check-in desks. I step to the one on the left.

The receptionist, a brown-haired guy a bit older than me, smiles maliciously. “It’s pretty hot, huh?”

“Don’t...” I chuckle.

“You’re sweating. Maybe I should cool you off?” He cocks a brow.

“Just check me in, Sam.”

“Oh nice, will you stay the night or do a walk of shame before morning?” The pretty guy leans forward and supports his head with his hand. Okay, that’s adorable...he knows what he’s doing.

“Keep dreaming.”

“Oh, I will.”

I pick up a stack of letters and whack him with it. “You play too much.”

“Maybe you should join me. It’ll be fun with two players. Come on; you’re single; I’m single. Why aren’t we banging?” He puts on a smooth tone to animate his deep voice.

“Only after the wedding.”

“Ahhh...” He mumbles dejectedly. “You gotta be the only woman doing it that way.” He types on a computer and then hands over my ID.

“I’m pretty sure I’m not.” I wink and blow him a kiss before ascending the stairs. I do so with my waist thrusted so my booty is more pronounced as I climb the steps. My blue eyes teasingly peer back at Sam.

“You’re not being fair at all.” He groans.

“I have no clue what you mean.” I smile to one side and bat my lashes. Upstairs is a carbon copy of downstairs. Only difference is the dining area and bar stations. Sets of French doors lead out to a real-life paradise. A few workers wipe tables, sweep, wash dishes, and dust chandeliers in the empty hall.

“Hey, boo.” Lily, my bestie, who rocks midnight blue hair, waves. She has a pie face, unlike my slim one, and her eyes are golden in the harsh sunlight.

“Ready for the day?”

“Yeah, I love nothing more than snobby rich assholes sending food back.”

I help her wash the dishes, wine glasses, and silverware. “The best customers ever, especially when they don’t tip.”

“The cheapness of it all, I swear. We can’t save up for college this way.”

“We can work on our credit and take out a loan?”

“Then we’ll have to pay it back, though,” Lily grumbles. “I wish our parents had a savings instead of just throwing us out after graduation.”

“Me too...this sucks. The one job we thought we’d be racking up with is a letdown.”

“It’s never too late to be a stripper.” Lily winks.

“We got the moves.” I dance with my shoulders.

“Speaking of moves, wanna hit a real club tonight?”

“Um...I don’t want to go alone....and be the third wheel again.” I mumble.

“Invite one of your Tinder boos.”

“I could, but I don’t know. The guy might think we’re dating.”

“Girl, you’re on a dating site.” Lily’s light voice chimes with annoyance.

“I know...but I don’t want to imply too fast.”

“You’re dramatic.” Lily splashes me with bubbly water. “Try out dating. How you gonna know a guy is worth it if you don’t date him first??”

My mouth drops to the floor. “You did not just-” I splash Lily back.

“Don’t be a square. Find the cutest one and ask him out. You could be missing the one by not doing that. Just open the mystery box take a peek, and see what you get.”

“Maybe you’re right...”

“I am.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“I bet you I’m right.”

“Dude, picking a random guy won’t lead to a ring on my finger,”

Lily rolls her eyes. “Have some faith...surprises happen. Just make sure his package looks big.” She sticks out her tongue.

“I’ll size him up.” I grin widely.

I serve orange juice to breakfast goers at the beginning of the day, since it’s too early to mix alcohol. Lily works the room as a waitress, setting down plates of hot cakes, sausages, eggs, and oatmeal. I always wanted to taste the decorative plate of food, but I’d rather not waste $80. I’m in no condition to splurge. The food here must light the tastebuds on fire by how the guests savor it. I guess I’ll never know for sure. Classy jazz music circulates the room and sets a mellow vibe...more like a rich vibe. The men’s wives wear the silkiest dresses I’ve ever seen, and the husbands’ sport suede...or velvet, I can’t tell from this far. Even the children rock lavish fabric. Material that I’m sure makes them feel like royalty. It must be amazing to dress like a prince and princess. Their childhood must be a dream world.

The dining area is packed, as always. The same table finishes early and heads out back to the golf course. I think they’re businessmen, there’s always four of them, and the exact routine plays out. A dark-haired one holds a French door open for the lot and waits patiently. This one has taken my breath away every Sunday. His broad shoulders, green eyes, jet black hair, full lips, and height draw me in. Of course, he never notices me. He must have a wife. I shyly watch him, adoring his bushy eyebrows and long lashes. He has a silver suit jacket around one shoulder, slacks, and a white dress shirt with the first three buttons loosened. I can see chest hair.

I gawk at this beautiful man who would never go for a girl like me. Who would never pay attention to the help unless paying a bill. My eyes scale his bottom half; he has thick legs and an impressive ass for a guy. “Ogling again?” Lily whispers from behind me.

I jump and blush. When I say blush, I mean it. My cheeks flush red. “No...”

“I don’t get why you haven’t made a move.”

“Because he never notices me.”

“Well, of course not, not with you being this far away.” She scoffs. We both watch him stroll out of the door. Our eyes go to his bubble ass. “You know you want that juicy booty.”

I snort and turn away to hush her as a wife nears the counter. “Five orange juices, please...no sugar.” The short lady demands conceitedly.

“Yes, ma’am.” I pull a tray from below, add five glasses to it, and pour liquid into each spilling nothing. I lift the heavy tray with ease. My balance is perfect as I hand it over to Lily.

“Where to, ma’am?” The woman leads my friend away. I’m thankful for this. It means the subject is dropped. That guy wants nothing to do with me. It’s been about a year of playing a one-sided peep show. He’s out of my league and most likely dates models with flawless skin or the athletic type. I’m neither. I peer through the doors and watch the dreamy guy cover the green grass with a firm stride. The ripples of his shirt flare between his muscles, revealing curved lines. “Still spying?”

I jump. “Stop doing that!”

“He-he-he...I will if you talk to him.”

“Lil, he’s just eye candy.”

“You don’t know that for sure, Maddy.”

“Did I not say he never pays me any attention...plus, I’m not pretty enough for him. Let’s be real.”

“You’re hot, babe. Stop lying to yourself.”

“But I’m an acne face.”

“Then wear makeup.”

“You know I’m not into that.”

“Then cut out sugar. How about we make a pact? Let’s do a detox to see how clearer our skin gets. Trust me; it will get clear. Then you’ll have enough confidence to make a move. We can buy the good shit. I used proactive once, omg! My skin was brand new.”

“I have dark circles.” I point under my eyes where another flaw of mine is.

“There’s a cream for that.”

“But my-”

“No more buts...unless it belongs to your boo thang. Let’s do it!” She holds out her pinky.

“Fine.” I sigh and close the swear with mine.

When nighttime hits, the grounds outside shine. There are circular lights along the pathways. The beige tint reminds me of how a night wedding would look. The grand hall, the music, even the four-tier strawberry cake for dessert takes my mind to a fantasy. I’ve had my wedding planned out for years. I kind of went crazy over it after my prom. I have the theme picked out, the songs, the place, a tent wedding, and even the ring. Of course, my younger self went overboard, but I’ve always been a girl who would rather wait. I never had a boyfriend because of how the boys at school turned me off. They were so adolescent and rude. They never knew boundaries when it came to their hands, so I kicked their nuts.

Guys my age have been alienated from my attraction radar. Guys in their mid-twenties are my preference. I’m not so sure about going any older than that. I’m 22 and would like someone who is no older than 25. The crowds outside load away golfing equipment into caddies and flood back inside. I unlock a glass cabinet of bottles, selecting liquors and wines. I load the counter with glasses, then fix my hair; the bun is starting to wear out.

A line forms before the bar. The first customer is an old man who eyes me up and down. My skin crawls at how licentious his stare becomes. “Hello, sir. What drink would you like?”

“Something sweet, like you, honey. Surprise me.”

I pick out booze, two rums, grenadine and mix it in a cocktail shaker. I shake for ten seconds, then pour the yellow drink into a tall glass, topped by a lemon and cherry on the straw. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He winks.

The next customer is an older guy, too. He orders a Brandy Alexander. I use cognac, white creme de cacao, a heavy cream and shake it up. As I pour it, the man with black-gray hair says, “you have beautiful hands.”

“Thank you.” I pass him his glass. “Enjoy your drink.”

The line grows onward from here. Every adult requests a drink, to the point that all the servers come to assist me. They set up their stations the same as mine, then accept customers. I move faster than them. For every one of their customers, I do three. I have a record set here for the fastest served drinks. Lily hands off to her last customer, then looks my way. “He might come up.”

“No, it’s always the blonde guy who gets the drinks, not him.” When everyone in the room is seated, I take my break. The breakroom is down the hall and around the corner, next to the restrooms. I didn’t pack a lunch, so I’ll have to get a vending machine salad, which might be a good thing. My skin needs healthy food. I buy the meal, along with a water, and sit alone at a table. I pass the time by snacking while reading my tinder messages.

JohnnyB: I FaceTimed you. Why didn’t you pick up?

Me: Because you didn’t ask first. I go to read our texts to refresh my memory. Oh...I get it. He did the video call to show off his skills since I told him: I hope that’s not all talk...

JohnnyB: Well, I’m asking now.

Me: That isn’t asking

JohnnyB: I don’t like your attitude...

Me: oh, go cry a river. Odd that you took that much offense; it seems like you’re all talk, after all. He unmatches with me. I laugh and chew on my salad. “Bye.”

I sort through my other messages. I have fifteen now. I should try out Lily’s suggestion and choose a hot guy. I browse my matches tab until I find a guy who looks nice personality-wise, not just look-wise. One guy is cute enough. He walks dogs as a job, and plays hockey. His bio reads:

Looking for good conversation and nice times out, please don’t ask me to cash app you for nudes. I’m a respectful guy. I’m surprised I’m even on here.

Hmm...maybe I can ask him out. He’s 24, just in my range, and has an amazing smile. I mean a contagious smile. That’s cute. I text his profile to Lily and then lay my phone down. I hope tonight won’t be a disaster...and I hope Lily stops being optimistic about me landing that rich man.

Lily and I catch an Uber to my place and raid my closet. I have a lot of skimpy clothing to be a virgin. Lil dared me to step out of my comfort zone before I was dressing too safe. Not gonna lie; my fashion showed that I was sexually lacking. I browse short ruched dresses. One is deep red and has a slit down the side. “Oh, yess! That is the one.” She exclaims. “But you gotta do your eyes and lips right.” She holds up the makeup bag she got from her girlfriend’s house. “Let me hook you up, gurl.”

“Not too much.”

“I know, I know, I’m going to do it lightly. People won’t even notice.”

“Okay, good.”

“Have you asked him out yet?” She sits on my messy bed.

“No...I feel low asking him out this fast.”

“Chill, you don’t have to sleep with him!” Lil unpacks the makeup bag. “Just do it; challenge yourself. Now, get into that dress so I can color coordinate.”

I do as she says and undress on the spot. “Push up or no?”

“Hmm...” She examines my boobs in the light bra. “Depends. Do you want to go with the saggy look or not?”

“I don’t know, let me see.” I pull the dress over my head and adjust it in the front, which has a low cleavage line. “Hmm...I don’t know.”

Lily’s eyeballs my boob area. “I say no push-up. He can’t get your goodies that fast. Come sit.” She pats a spot on the bed.

I hurry over. “What color shoes? Black is too dark, right?”

She smudges a wipe across my face before adding primer. “Do silver.” She pats my face with one hand while smearing concealer under my eyes. “I’m doing smoky eye; that’ll go perfect with the dress.” I close my eyes at her soft touch. It feels like I’m getting a facial at a spa. The makeup under my eye is blended by her warm fingers. The liquid is dotted across my cheeks, chin, lip area, and forehead. It takes about two minutes of her batting at my face before adding stainer. The thick substance coats my lips.

“What color is it?” I mutter, barely moving my mouth to ask.

“Dark black-red, like a black cherry.”

“Ooo.”

“You’re gonna cause a lot of heartbreak tonight.” The last thing Lil does is my eyes. She lines them, brushes them with powder, and uses mascara. When everything is blended, she guides me to the bathroom. “Ready?”

“Ahhh, no.” I wiggle in excitement.

“Too bad, open, miss hotty.”

I open my eyes and inhale sharply. My skin is flawless. The bumps on my forehead are barely visible. Lil must have used something extra there. My semi-plumped lips are black-red, and my eyes are mesmeric. The smoky powder and swooped tails on each end, liven them up. My lashes are longer too. Damn, I wonder how bad I look at work. I don’t even want to think about it...at least I have good brows. “Whoa!”

“Uh-huh, say it again.”

“Whoa!!”

“Put your hair down for the full effect.”

I untie my hair from the top-notch. Since it was wet when I wrapped it, it falls to my shoulders in long, finger wave curls.“Oh fuck!”

“Ok, I look badass!”

“You look like a snack...got me second-guessing dating Jessica.”

I throw my head back and hackle. “Is she coming tonight?”

“Yep, she’s meeting us there. Let me find something to wear, be ready in three minutes.”

“That’s fast, even for you.”

“My makeup is already done.” She says, while holding her hands to her face of perfection. Lil has gone dark with her makeup. “I’m wearing all black.” She leaves the bathroom to raid my closet. “Text him!”

I scratch the back of my head before going to the clothes on the floor and pulling out my phone. I click on his profile in the matches tab. His name is Brad. I type: Hey, cutie, are you busy tonight? It takes us three minutes to put on our shoes and dangling earrings. When my phone ding with the Tinder app notification, Lil hands it to me with flashing speed. Brad: Hey pretty, I don’t have any plans tonight. What do you have in mind?

Me: I’m going to the club with my friend.

Brad: Oh, that sounds cool. Can I tag along?”

Me: Sure.

Brad: Alright, text me the address.

“I still feel like I’m going too fast.” I cover my eyes and sigh.

“Hey, you’re not. You’re just nervous about putting yourself out there. You have to do that if you want a man. You can’t sext forever, you know? Think of this as practice for the rich booty guy.”

“Please stop trying to make that happen.” I whine.

“Never, you want him. I’m never gonna drop it.” She offers me her hand. “Let’s go.”

I bite my lip before taking it. Okay, I can do this. Lil is right. I can’t have cold feet if I want to be with Mr. Right. I have to do this. I can’t stay on an app all my life and wonder where my dream guy is. I have to go out. It’s a big step, but it has to be done. We walk down the street to a nightclub lit up purple and red on the outside. The line is long, but it seems to be moving rather quickly. I spy Jessica in a glittery blue dress with her black hair in a half-up, half-down style. She is beyond pretty; she reminds me of the actress Megan Fox. I always wondered if she ever tried to model. I’m sure she has an Instagram that’s blowing up. “Hi, baby.” Lil tiptoes to smooch her; she’s the short one in the relationship.

“Hi, hon, you look tasty.”

“I know; you’ll see how much I am later.” Lil flirts.

“Hmm mm, I can’t wait.” Jessica looks at me and double takes. “Maddy is that you?!”

“Yep.” I twist my waist like a schoolgirl.

“No way.”

“Yes, way. She leveled up, right?” Lil cheeses.

“I’ll say.” Jessica gives me an intense, racy gaze. “How about we do a threesome?”

“I second that.” The two bursts into laughter.

“You two play too much.” I chortle.

“Ahh, it’s best we accept rejection, babe. She has a hot piece already.”

“Oh, really? Tell me.”

“Lil, don’t.”

“But.”

“No buts.”

She side-eyes Jess with cheeks that puff out with giggles. “Unless it’s his butt.”

“I’m gonna go stand over there.” I walk away.

“Sorry, sorry!” Lily grabs me around the neck in a hug. “I’ll drop it.”

“Good.” I halt in place and pry her arms from around my neck.

“Who’s this?” Jessica says in utter confusion.

“Oh fuck, it’s him,” I whisper to Lil, who circles around me to fix my hair before turning me around. His dirty blonde hair is nicely tucked behind his ears, and his outfit is sexy casual. Black from head to toe.

“Hey, I’m Lily, her bestie. This is my girlfriend, Jessica.” She hustles away. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

“Hi.” Brad, whose chocolate eyes did him no justice in his photos, waves at the two before focusing on me.

“Hi.” I stare up at his dimpled cheeks and thick lips.

“You look great. I’m shocked I wasn’t catfished.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on that.” I roll my eyes.

“Uh oh, you’re a victim too?” He chuckles.

“I’m more like a test subject.”

He laughs in short waves, kind of like snorts but far more adorable. “Test subject, that’s funny.” I like his voice. It’s not too deep, yet not too light. It’s warm. I grin sweetly. “You’re really pretty; you’re like the prettiest girl I’ve seen on Tinder.”

“Oh, stop it.” I wave a hand.

“No, I mean it. Either they’re in too much makeup or have insane filters. It’s nice to see a natural woman.”

Is my makeup that light?? If so, bravo to Lil. “Thank you.”

“Hey, lovebirds, it’s time to par-ty!” Lily beckons from the doorway.

The club is smoky and dark inside. The strobing lights make it hard to see anyone in the darkness. I’m surprised the bartenders can produce drinks in such scarce visibility—props to them! I’d break everything if that were me up there. The dance floor is massive, and the bar station covers the entire circumference. There are at least ten workers shaking drinks. The place is jammed with partiers who form a pit in the middle of the floor. The trap music booms and rattles the walls, and giant speakers line the ceiling. As we pass down into the pit, I admire how straightforward the girls are.

I spot a few who basically have sex with clothes on. Full-on hump and thrust right in public. How can they be so wild without there being something more behind it? Their sensual expressions and moans entice me. Oh, I’m being dumb. It’s obviously for pleasure, the same thing I get from sexting. But typing is nowhere near that explicit...nor does it bring heavenly lust. Jessica gets us a round of drinks; she’s the designated orderer. Lil sways to the music and curves her body and hips. Her serious expression cracks me up. I join her in the belly dance, starting at our hips on up. My body seamlessly imitates a sexy snake, shifting fluidly as if I have no bones.

I can feel Brad’s eyes on me. I peer at him and call him over with my finger. I want to play a little and get the same sensation those other women are getting. It’d be nice to know what that feels like. “Dance with me.” I waver my body before him, going closer than I planned. There are only a few inches between us. I work my hips and swing my hair. I spin around in front of him. Will he get the hint that I want some touching? My hands move upwards and reach back to wring around his neck.

Brad holds me by the waist. Oh! I respond to his hot breaths beating down on my neck and his lips on my ear. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” I sigh at the feel of his palm squeezing my hips. My skin electrifies and tingles. My downstairs stirs awake and throbs up a fire. When he kisses my neck, I lean my head back and sigh softly.

Every cell in my body is set ablaze. And that shuddering feeling I had before maximizes. My gut heats like a furnace; this shocks me so much that I stumble into him. I feel Brad’s bulge on the lining of my ass. I gasp and close my eyes. My sighs are louder now. He trails his hands up my dress and stops below my breasts. Brad nibbles at my ear while clutching the skin under my boobs. All the spicy euphoria, on top of his breathing on my neck, makes me quiver all over. Every part of me is sensitive, as if I have no skin. As if my veins are exposed. His dick hardens against my ass. I tremble again, expecting more to come. It doesn’t. Why isn’t he moving it around?? “Can you move it around?” I ask breathlessly.

“Are you sure?”

“I am...but it’s just for fun. No sex.”

“Alright.” His large hands slide to my abdomen. My blood boils where his hands rest. I huff and swallow. Brad presses me against him and drifts his waist forward. I breathe longingly. My eyes roll to the back of my head. Oh my! I stiffen; this only adds more pressure to where his dick is. I gently rock into him. A shrill moan escapes my lips. My mouth waters. So this is what it feels like? What the hell does it feel like with clothes off?!

“Umm...Madi??!” Lily’s voice sounds before me. “I need to borrow her real quick.”

I open my eyes to find my friend watching me scoldingly. “Sure,” Brad says, clearing his throat and catching his breath.

“Come here!” She yanks me by the arm and leads me to the restroom.

“Why are you so mad?!”

“Are you serious???!!” Lil bellows.

“Yeah.”

She pushes the women’s room door open and turns on me with her arms crossed. “I said go out with the guy, not to oil him up with foreplay?!”

“It’s fine. I told him there wouldn’t be any sex.”

“Then you put on a pornstar show??”

“I know what I’m doing!”

“No, you don’t; that wasn’t teasing. You two were close to orgasming!”

“Look...I’m having fun, that’s all.”

“Doing that still requires being careful. Fooling around can turn into sex real fast in real life. Just slow down some, dial it back. This guy is gonna think you do this all the time; you don’t want that label.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s all harmless.”

“No…it’s not. This isn’t one of your sexting guys. Brad isn’t separated by a screen, okay?? Just slow down; that’s all I’m saying.” She throws her hands up before leaving me alone in the scummy restroom.

I know what I’m doing. Playing around can go far without sex. I know this; she doesn’t! I stomp from the room and return to Brad, who’s at the bar. I travel a sea of people to reach him on a higher level. “Hey,” I say from behind. “That was crazy, huh?” I move to sit beside him.

He glances over at me with a light smile. “I think we took it too far for your friend.”

“Yeah...she overreacted.”

“I don’t think so…we were getting wild.”

“Were we??”

“Yeah...that was kind of hardcore for the first night.”

“Oh, no…” I hang my head down in shame.

“What?” I feel him move closer to me. “You okay?”

“You must think I’m a slut.”

“No…I don’t. You don’t come off like a slut at all.”

I raise my head, slump my shoulders, and sulk. “That must be sarcasm.”

“It’s not.”

“I ruined the night.”

He guffaws and shakes his head. “No, you did the opposite. I like the good, bad girl thing you got going. I definitely want another date.”

I lower my eyes to the bar counter. “I don’t usually act like that. I only text guys.”

There’s a brief pause, long enough that I make out a boosted bass cover of Bad Karma. “Wait...what?” He asks, baffled. Oh hell, did I just give myself away? “I don’t think I heard that right.”

“You didn’t…the music is loud.” I lie.

“Hey, you freaky thangs!!” Jess sings from behind us. She’s so wasted that her words are slurred. “Y’all nasty.” She snorts.

Lily isn’t far behind. I turn away when our eyes meet. She’s gonna let me hear it later; I just know it. It’s not my fault; it’s my curiosity’s fault. I was tempted by the thirst I saw on the way in. Now I might want more. Okay…umm, I think I fucked up. I can’t run around like a horny dog tryin to get my leg over! I can’t behave this way next time. Or any time after. If I do, I’ll get comfortable being fast and be a mistress instead of a wife.

“She’s hammered; I gotta get her home. Are you two over the sex frenzy?” Lily looks between us. “And you. I thought you were respectful. Did you lie?”

“Umm...no. I didn’t start it. No offense.” He clenches his teeth my way.

I shrug. “None taken.”

“Well, miss bad influence, get home without any more orgies.”

Brad hides his mouth with his hand, but I spot his shoulders jerking. He’s hiding laughs. “Relax, Lil.” I look at him and smile. “We can text later.”

“I can walk you home; it’s late.”

I shake my head. “That’s a bad idea. I’ll just call an Uber.”

“I can walk you out and wait with you.”

“That can be done.”

All four of us leave out at the same time. I know Lil is observing me with Brad. I feel that surveillanced sense, the back hairs of the neck standing up. “How long have you been on Tinder?” He asks as cars zoom past.

“Umm...a few years.”

“You must have a lot of guys in your dm’s.”

“I do.”

“So you’ve been on dates, I assume?”

I squint at him. “You’re trying to figure out what I meant at the bar, aren’t you?”

“No...yes.” He grins. “You can’t leave me with that much mystery.”

“Oh, yes, I can. I forgot to mention that I’m a tease.”

“I can tell. Is that the most you ever played? I kinda get it was with how you and your friend reacted.”

“I can’t answer that.” I hide my lips by poking them backward inside my mouth.

“Ahh, come on, tell me.”

“Yes...and no,” I smirk flirtatiously.

“Mmm...interesting.” He grins. “Was it your hottest one?”

I look off into the street. “Maybe.”

“I think that means yes.”

“It would have been if I saw how hot and bothered you were. I was too overwhelmed to notice.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Hmm, mmm.” I swing my waist in a bubbly manner. His eyes dart down to it. I bite my lip. My phone dings, notifying me that my ride is here. “Oh, I gotta go…goodnight.”

Brad frowns at my words; he looks so deflated now. “Alright, good night, Madison.”

I blush when he says my name. It’s the first time he’s done it. I’ve never heard a guy say it aloud; I’ve only ever read it in text form. So bizarre yet satisfying. “Bye, Brad,” I say his name softly before waving my ride down.

For the next few days, Lily and I go on a strict diet for our skin routine. We eat two salads a day, drink only water and tea, and get our beauty sleep. Meaning I can’t sext late at night. Our beauty care includes Clinique blackhead solution, which works for pores and doubles as a cleanse and a mask. Aloe Vera, glycolic acid, almond oil, and expensive ass sunscreen. Lancôme AquaGel, a primer, moisturizer and SPF 50. The total is over $250 at Macy’s checkout. “Are you sure we can’t just go to Walmart?” I ask.

“The pricy shit works...a lot of those Walmart products still have scrubbing beads, which is horrible. We’ll see a huge difference using these products.” She digs into her black crossbody bag. “Also, I’m using credit.” A Tinder notification bings from my phone, but I don’t rush to answer it. Lil swipes her card and side-eyes me. “Are you still icing him out?”

“Umm…no, I’m just doing damage control.”

“Sounds like you are. It’s not Brad’s fault you jumped his bones. Maddy, you can’t freeze him out.”

“I know...”

“He wants sex now.”

“No, he doesn’t. Brad hasn’t said that.”

“He’s being nice, that’s why.”

“I got it under control. He’s just another one of my text guys since I messed up a normal date.”

On the way out of the overpriced store, we descend the mall escalators and stroll past shops. Consumers run in and out with loaded hands and swinging bags. We pass a corner store full of sweets, boba tea, chips, and candy. I damn near slobber at the deliciousness. “Look away; we’re doing good.” Lil takes me by the chin and shifts my head forward.

“How about just one cookie?” I grumble.

“Nope, leave that toxic shit alone. Did you know that sugar shuts down cells in your brain? I’ll send you a video to scare you straight.”

Instead of spending a night alone, I go to Jessica’s place. She has the table set with Chicken Alfredo, veggie platters, and organic cranberry juice, without the heaps of sugar. “I made a little cheat meal to celebrate y’all skincare achievement.” Jess points to the Alfredo.

“Oh no, it’s not healthy?” Lil groans.

“I used reduced cheese; the pasta is full of carbs, though.”

My eyes lock on the steaming pasta. The fact that it’s not entirely healthy makes me want it more. “We can eat it, Lil. It’s not like it’s chocolate and ice cream.” My tastebuds inflame at the mention of these sweets.

“I guess...” When we take our seats, a buzz jiggles my back pocket. “Answer that boy; he’ll never stop if you don’t.”

I stubbornly tighten my lips. “Not yet. I want to reset what happened.”

“Babe, please tell her she can’t undo grinding on someone?”

Jessica nods while adding food to a plate. “You can’t. Once you feel someone, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“I think waiting a few more days will do the trick.”

“Or just fuck him, and move on,” Jess says casually as she hands her bae a plate of food, then starts on the next.

“Nah, she can’t do that. She’s saving herself, remember?”

“Oh.” Jessica’s eyes widen. “Sorry, I forgot you’re a virgin...you sure weren’t acting like one.” She gives me a plate of food, then passes out cranberry drinks.

“Our Maddy felt a dick for the first time and went crazy.”

“I didn’t go crazy.”

“You did...it’s alright, though. Just don’t do it again if you want to keep yourself saved for the hunk at work.”

“Lil told me. Why haven’t you talked him?”

“Because, as she knows,” I grit my teeth at my bestie, “that guy is out of my league.”

“I don’t know about that. You’re not ugly.”

“I’m not saying that. I’m just on a lower level compared to him.”

“How do you know that for sure?” Jessica contends.

“Oh, let me see, it’s been a year of me watching him and him never looking my way. That’s a strong enough hint.” I express my words with sheer irritation.

“Let’s eat!” Lil says loudly to end the argument. I’m glad that she squashed the conversation. I’m sick of being paired with someone who isn’t into me. At least Brad is showing interest. I’m sure the rich guy is a snob and turns down girls left and right. How is it he never looked my way at all?? Am I that plain? Is my level not high enough? I never actually asked a guy to rate me. I should. As if reading my mind, Brad messages. I poke at the pasta with a fork, debating if I should respond. I want to go a few more days until Brad has come down from that night. Then I can add him to my sext collection.

But our physical connection addicted me. I masturbate more than usual these past days, visualizing a dick replacing my hands. I stopped myself from popping my cherry because I wanted a deeper penetration. Topical stimulation is losing its value. I can’t give in to the desire...I have to stick to my plan to marry first. I need a reset so I can go back to sending dirty messages, and only that.

Once I’m at home, I change into my PJs and lie in bed. I read my Tinder chats. I have 35 new messages. I view a few of them:

What else would you like to suckle?

Can you send me pics? Here’s my snap.

Okay, when are you free to meet up?

I’d have you scorching like a mini volcano down there, baby

Can we FaceTime now?

Brad: I hope that wasn’t a one-night stand.

What do I do? Should I keep ignoring his texts? He was nice. A lot nicer than I thought a guy could be after being used. I can’t have him thinking I’m the type to meet up, then erase. I have to reply. Me: It wasn’t

Brad: Why does it feel like it was?

Me: I don’t do that. It’s a lot to explain.

Brad: I don’t mind. I want to know.

Me: I went overboard that night...I never had a physical connection before.

Brad: Huh?

Me: I’m a virgin.

Brad: No way ! ur pranking me

Me: I’m not

Brad: You weren’t acting like one...

Me: Please enlighten me on how a virgin should act?

Brad: You know...innocent and reserved.

Me: So you think all of us should behave that way?

Brad: No...it’s just how I assume one behaves.

Me: Let me guess, because of movies?

Brad: Maybe

Me: That’s an overdramatized view. Yes, I’m innocent, but to a certain extent.

Brad: That’s what I like about you. Like I said, you have a good, bad thing going on. I just don’t believe you’re a V. You had to do something before.

Me: I made out with a crush in high school. It was strictly kissing. Other than that, no.

Brad: So you’re telling me you’re completely unpenetrated???

Me: I wouldn’t say completely...I felt you slip in my crack!

That’s where I leave the conversation....it’s all about luring guys in and toying with their anticipation. I lock my phone, sit it on a nightstand and click off the light. Buzzes from my phone make me grin. About three replies bounce it back and forth on the wood surface. I close my eyes with a naughty smile and prepare for sleep.

“Maddy, stop torturing the poor guy; he probably came all night.”

“I hope he did,” I leer.

“You’re dirty.”

“I know.”

We eat lunch in a white break room, salads and water. Lily reads my chat with Brad and shakes her head in disapproval. “Are you gonna let him get a sneak peek?”

“I don’t know...I think I gave too much already.”

“Hmmm....true, take it slow...although you’re hooked on the dick.”

“Am not.” I stab at the salad and munch.

“Are too. I saw your face when you were in the groan zone. You were hooked!”

I look to the side and curl my lip. “Okay...I was craving it a little.”

“You were craving it a lot.”

“Was I?”

“That was hotter than our pornhub stash. It was good practice for Jace Harrison too.”

I choke on my spinach, gulping it down before bucking my eyes. “Huh? Who??”

“Your rich boo.” Lil drinks her water. “His name is Jace Harrison. I looked him up in the work system. His ID picture is unbelievable; he had to take modeling classes.”

“You did what?!”

“I looked him up; then I googled him. Girl, he’s beyond wealthy.”

“Why did you do that??”

“Come on, if you’re keeping your legs closed, it might as well be for a billionaire.”

My entire face roasts. I can tell I’m as red as a tomato. “That’s never going to happen!” Lil acts as if I said nothing and swipes my phone to type on it. “What are you doing?”

She smiles to herself before turning the screen around. “Live a little...I’m working on a plan to get you two talking.”

“You’re not listening!” I steam.

“I’m aware; now read.”

My eyes go to the screen to read google headlines about Jace Harrison. Professional photos are beside each article. He has an extreme stare that reaches past your soul and boils your blood. His green eyes are crystal, dark, and artistic. Almost as if drawn on. His black hair is so fine and shiny....luscious too. Even his facial hair is impressive, short and nicely textured.

Jace has the shoulders of a man made by God; they’re shaped and are wide. He wears a suit like a mob boss would and gives clothes a sex appeal. The open top and pushed-back trouser flaps show off his thick thighs. His complexion is a sunburnt tan which contrasts nicely with his colored eyes.

The headlines read:

JACE HARRISON, 28, IS CONTINUING A DENT IN WORLD HUNGER.

J.H DONATES $9 BILLION TO CUT WORLD STARVATION DOWN BY 23%

THE HOTTEST BACHELOR OF THE YEAR, SEEN WITH A MYSTERY WOMAN.

FILTHY RICH AND SINGLE, FIND OUT WHY J.H IS WITHOUT A RING.

WHO IS J.H, YOU ASK? FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE MAN VOTED WORLD’S SEXIEST.

“Impressive, right?”

“It is....” I shrug in agreement. “I still think he’s beyond me. Plus, he was seen with a mystery woman and is single. That means he’s a Casanova. That’s not my type, so don’t set up that talk.” I throw her a stern look and then go back to eating. As much as I’m denying him, I can’t help but allow his photos to stain my vision.

He’s beautiful...more beautiful than I assumed. From far away, I couldn’t tell. I knew he was good-looking, not that the guy was drop-dead gorgeous. He’s a billionaire, so he has women in bed daily, if not weekly. I’m not that cheap...or that disposable. I’ll just continue treating him as eye candy.

At the bar, I conjure up fizzy gin drinks. Bloody Mary, Bloody Elixir, Anna Bananas, Sour Whiskey, and Mai Tai. And the toughest drink for any bartender. The Old Fashioned. I select a fine De Luxe Crown Royal, syrup, 3 dashes of bitters. Combine all ingredients into an icy mixer and stir until the drink frosts. I strain it into a glass of chopped ice and add an orange twist.

I hand the drink over to a white-blonde guy who’s dazzled by my accurate technique. “It appears you made it to perfection.” His baritone voice praises. “But looks can deceive.”

“They can.” I watch the icy glass in his hand. “Have a taste.” He puts the glass rim to his lips without taking his gray eyes from mine and samples the drink. I lower my gaze to his mouth, then back to his eyes. “Good?”

The man swallows the liquid, then sniffs the beverage. “It’s perfect, doll.” I grin to one side. “I’m sure you’re the same.”

A furious woman spots me blush and bat my eyes. The scorned glare she shoots at the back of his head reveals that she’s his wife. “Adam!” The redhead woman stomps over, glowers at me, then pulls her husband away. “You damn slut!” She says more to me than her husband. I snort and begin to tidy my station.

“You need to stop starting drama with wives,” Lily says from the opposite side of the counter. “You damn slut!” She mocks the woman’s catty voice and bursts into laughter.

“The men always start it. I just wanted him to taste the drink.”

“Lies, all lies, you did not word it that way.”

“Okay…maybe it was 5% my fault.”

“5%??” She raises her brows.

“Okay...it was 40/60.”

“That sounds about right.”

“Davidson!” A big-bellied, guy yells.

“Uh oh.”

“How many times do I have to tell you this isn’t a chat room?? Work the tables!” He barks.

Lily whips around and hurries back to the dining guest. “Sorry, sir.”

I go on sorting bottles of alcohol to one side and equipment to another. “Madison.” The bald man in a suit, walks to me with a proud smile. “Have you read the Yelp reviews...and the feedback notes in the breakroom?”

“No...“I shake my head. “Why? Is it bad news?”

“The bar has ten five-star reviews and twelve notes about your quick and precise service.”

“Oh!”

“Keep up the good work. I need you on the 4th of July, don’t let me down.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Good, good, carry on.” The big man pats me on the back before strolling the banquet hall to survey his subordinates.

Yay! Hopefully, I’ll get a raise soon. I wipe the counter and rinse out shakers, glasses, and utensils. This Sunday night is slower. The lines aren’t bad; my area has a few buyers here and there. This is one of the true Sundays where time slugs.

I double wash bar equipment, so I’m not standing still for too long. Then I stare around the hall. The tables are full of plates of shrimp, lobster, glazed bread, steak filets, chili con carne, potato salad, and veggies.

The smell of the food rumbles my stomach. When dessert, cheesecake, is laid on the tables, I want to gorge. I want to steal a plate and chomp it down. But that will ruin my beauty diet. I have to say, my skin is glowing, and my pores are tighter. Even the bumps on my forehead have decreased drastically. I’ll keep to the cleanse just so I can look good without makeup. I really want that natural beauty appearance. I’d rather not cake up my face whenever I want to feel pretty.

The white cloth tables clear one by one; it’s close to 10:00 pm. That’s when this joint shuts down. I can’t wait to get home and soak my feet. I enjoy being a bartender, but it’s killing my feet! When the hall is clear of customers, the crew and I start clean up. Wiping counters, removing tablecloths for washing, and placing decor from each table into a tall bin. This takes about 30 minutes every night. The last one to finish gets laundry duty and has to lock up.

Lily is going slower than she usually does. I find this odd. I pull down a gate that divides the bar and bend to lock it. The others sweep and dust and twist keys into the holes of the French doors. I go to see why Lil is dusting so slowly. “Come on, turtle, my feet hurt.”

“Wait...” She sneakily eyes the other workers.

“What’s that look?”

“Nothing.” She says in a higher octave.

“You did something.”

“Nope.”

“Lil?!”

“See you guys tomorrow.” One employee bids us farewell. A few seconds later, the remaining five head out with fatigued waves and mumbles. They’re beat...so am I. We wave back. Lily drops her duster onto a cart with the others and then pushes a laundry bin underneath it. I collect the brooms and scan the room for anything else that might have been left behind. Nothing is on the floor or the tables.

“Spill it.” Lily steers the cart from the room and into a corridor. I shut the entry doors and lock them. “Well??”

“Nothing.” In the laundry room, we load the tablecloths into the washer. It has a chute that connects both machines so the wet laundry can be transferred over when ready.

“Nah...you did something.” My friend zips her lips and winks at me. I get nothing out of her for the rest of the night.

In the morning, I use the five-step skin routine, starting with the blackhead mask that I keep on for 5 minutes. I rinse my face with ice cold water for 3 minutes, then use a cotton pad to dry off. My skin looks flawless! Beauty sleep is no joke. I lean forward in awe and examine my face. It looks like I just got a facial. My black and white heads are gone. My skin is lighter and smooth. I love the squeakiness. “This is crazy!” I go add aloe vera, glycolic acid, oil, and sunscreen. The primer in it has a blurring effect. “Oh wow, look at my face!! Ahhh!” I happy dance and take a selfie without a filter.

I look like I have glass skin...my dark circles have even lightened. Omg, this is bomb! My skin has never looked this amazing!

When Lily sees me at work, her mouth drops to the floor. I know I look good in the sunlight; I did a check on my camera on the way here. I rotate in front of lockers and pose like a model. “Holy shit!! Why doesn’t my face look that nice??!” She grimaces. There’re tiny red bumps on her chin and a few on her cheeks. “What the hell? I’m doing the same shit!”

“Maybe you’re allergic to something. Those look like allergy pimples.” I analyze her acne.

“Maybe it’s the acid...”

“Try cutting that out and see what happens.”

Lil dials in a combination and opens her locker to stuff a cross-body bag inside. “You shouldn’t waste the glow you have. Use that beauty power.”

“Oh, I will. I feel super hot.”

“Good...use that energy on him.” She closes her locker and tosses me a leather wallet. I squint at it in my hands, baffled. Why is she giving me a wallet??? “It fell out of his pocket and slid under the table. Jace will be in today for it, hopefully before the sun goes down. You’re shining; he has to see you in daylight.”

“You. I...said...you need to stop! That’s stealing! You’re probably on camera!” I stammer furiously.

“I was sly with it.” I try to give the wallet back, but she races off when I jab it her way. “Get that rich life!” She shouts on her way out.

Lil?! Ugh!” My hand goes to my forehead. What the fuck?!! Is this what she was planning last night??? I’m not keeping this! My feet peddle to the lobby to hand it over to Sam. “Hey, a diner dropped their wallet.” I hold it out for him to take.

He throws his hands up as if surrendering to a cop. This confounds me. “No way! Lil threatened to beat my ass if I took anything from you today.”

“Well, report her!” I rage. “This is against company policy; you’re supposed to hold lost and found.”

“Sorry...but she scares me.” His dark eyes dash to the staircase in fright. “She’s heavy-handed...my arm is sore.”

“I’ll tell Mr. Thompson then!” I threaten.

“No, you won’t, then he’ll fire your bestie.” He shrugs. “Deal with it; Lily has you checkmated.”

I groan angrily and stomp up the stairs. “Fuck both of you!”

“Oh, when?” He taunts in a titillating tone.

I storm through the doors to the banquet hall and probe the room like an eagle. A few diners look at me while chomping on French toast and sunny side eggs. I reserve myself and smile at them awkwardly. “Good morning,” I blurt, and stride past. Lily is waiting on a table; she glances at me with a smirk, then jots in her notepad. Oh...I’m going to ...I’m going to slap her!

I inhale all the air I can; my nostrils flare. I roll up the gate to the bar and circle around to the back. I put the fancy wallet in a drawer and close it. This isn’t funny! Upbeat jazz music flows through the room and pisses me off because I’m the opposite of cheerful. The corners of my mouth curl downward like the Grinch.

I bend to take apple juice and orange juice out of a mini fridge and grab lemons and strawberries. I cut up the fruit like a mad chef and decorate the rims of glasses with slices. I ready drinks in advance. When I’m done, twenty beverages line the bar counter. I look over at Lil, who pushes through the kitchen flap doors; carrying two full trays in both hands. She serves omelets and bacon to the guest. When she comes over to fill the trays with the brews I’ve made, she says, “turn that frown upside down,” in a chipper tone. Then balances the trays on her palms and steps off. I brutally glare after her.

Time passes into the evening, when only wine is served. I keep my eyes on the French doors as I hand out the red drinks. He doesn’t come on Mondays, only Sundays. I’m sure Jace is too busy stopping world hunger and adding notches to his belt. The guy won’t come in today. I’m sure. If he does, I’ll give as little communication as possible...same as he’s done with me. It’ll be nice to return the favor of being uninterested.