Nurse Jonathan cursed as he contemplated his bleeding finger, cut by a smashed tumbler. It bled badly and he was taken aback at the crimson flow.

"The best remedy for that is to stick it up the arse of the nearest female pronto."

Jonathan looked at Mister Beck, an eighty-year-old patient who had shown wisdom and platitudes in his fortnight in the ward.

"It's an old-time cure and never fails."

Jonathan grinned and sought out Sue, a good-natured nurse, and she agreed to help. Dropping her knickers she pushed her bum out.

"Jonathan?" she protested. "That's not my arse you're diddling!"

"And that's not my finger!"