The virginal maiden threw open the gnarled door.

"Witch of the Wood! Help me!"

"Speak."

"I'm to be wed, but when I look upon him it leaves me cold."

"No flush, no quivering quim?"

"Nothing!"

The sorceress stood, hood pulled back, robes spread wide. The girl gasped at the voluptuous, fire-maned perfection naked before her.

"Now?"

"Burning to my core!"

"I suspect you're queer, dear."

"No! Is there a test? A cure?"

Three times she was trialed that night and again at dawn. 

"You know the truth now. Do you wish a changing spell?"

"Are you kidding me? Let's fuck!"