My wife Pumpkin and I dressed in costumes identical to Stan and Mary. Stan thought he was getting a shot at my wife. My wife thought she was paying Stan back. He’d made a pass at her, and she wanted to embarrass him at the party. While my wife dealt with Stan, I had a plan of my own.

I spotted Mary and wordlessly led her to the bedroom. I was stroking into her in seconds, but something was off. “Pumpkin?”

“Bob?”

“Uh, I hope you didn’t think I was Stan.”

She shrugged, “Yeah, I knew something felt different.”