I was a seventy-year-old virgin!

So many women and my innate shyness kept them at arm's length. My friends tried, but I couldn't talk, I tripped over my feet, or I lost control completely. What was cute in my teens, became pathological as I aged.

The result?  I became obsessed with sex!

Every night I prayed for a change. My prayers got extremely graphic — meeting the one, spending time between her legs, and finally understanding what it was all about!

I died and then my prayers were answered!

I have been reincarnated as a bicycle seat!

"Fuck Me!"