It’s hard when medical issues put a stop to a "normal" sex life. It happened to me some ten years ago when my wife, Liz 52, had two bouts of cancer that luckily she survived, but the drugs she had to take gave her a zero libido. She also got fatter and lost self-esteem, and maybe as a result also developed type 2 diabetes.

We didn't have sex for about three years, and I was reduced to masturbating to relieve my natural urges. This helped, but of course I missed the intimacy that intercourse brings. Just occasionally, it was like she took pity on me, and wanted sex, but I found it difficult to perform, so it sort of lapsed.

My job still was demanding, and once she was over the most worrying time, I was back to my usual day or two away from home a week. On occasion, staying in business hotels, I did meet someone who wanted company for the night, so I wasn’t totally devoid of sex, but sex without love wasn’t a total replacement.

What happened to us was fortunate, and I'm not suggesting it is a cure-all for all conditions, but one night I came home late and she was in our study on the desktop PC. I caught a quick glimpse of a sex video playing before she realised I was there. I could have just let it go by, but after greeting her with a kiss as usual (a peck on the cheek really), I asked her what she was watching.

She prevaricated for a while, and then when I said I could look it up in the history, she admitted that she had been watching a couple have sex. So we watched it together, and then just talked about what we had seen and what she felt about it. What I felt was all too obvious!

This first video clip that we watched was by some standards fairy simple. The woman was on a bed, talking about how much she enjoyed a man’s cock, and then a man entered, walked to the bed, when she undid his zip and extracted an already hard and very large cock.

She proceeded to suck its head, while running her hands up and down the veined shaft. She progressively went lower and lower until she had the cock as deep as she could take it. It then cut to the two of them naked on the bed, sliding his cock deep into her pussy and fucking like this for a while, before turning over and letting her ride him, and then a side by side reverse fuck, followed by him pulling out and jacking off onto her tits and face.

“So sweetheart,” I said, “tell me what you thought of that?”

“I found it strange, like they were doing something that was familiar but also alien.”

She then tried to explain her feelings. She said that she couldn’t understand why she had picked someone whose cock was fairly clearly too big for her. I suggested that she might have wanted to expand her experiences, but she thought that it was still strange.

I asked her if she felt any sexual stirrings as she watched. She said that she knew what she should be feeling, but it was more curiosity than anything else. I asked what she was curious about, and she said she was curious about what the woman felt when the man did certain things.

The obvious question to ask was, “What things,” but I decided to let that pass, but suggested that as well as watching them on her own, we should do so together. She was surprised, but agreed.

Over the next few months we watched quite a few vids, and I always let Liz choose what to watch. We had progressed from simple suck and fuck vids to more extreme, plenty of anal, ass to mouth, and light bdsm. She said that her feelings about them had changed.

Now she could see that different women enjoyed different acts and that while mostly the men were pretty dominant, the women were also quite submissive, and she thought she identified with them, having things done to them which normally they might have objected to, but actually they took the satisfaction from the pleasure that their lover got.

By then we had got to the stage that my erection didn’t remain in my pants, but I would take it out and masturbate as the vid progressed. One night, while watching a vid in which the woman was tied down and reamed by a succession of men, orally, vaginally and anally, she reached over to me, pushed my hands away and continued to jack me off. I came rather too fast, her touch being so welcome that my mind just relaxed any control I might have had.

Liz was surprised to say the least, and mopped me up, but I said that this was just so good and hoped it might lead to other things. At that she went a bit distant, not cold but lost in her thoughts.

This masturbation became a usual practice whenever we watched a vid, and she learnt things about my anatomy that I didn’t, and took some satisfaction in the skill she had attained. All this time, I never tried to touch her. I sensed that she would not have wanted this, and so never did anything other than to share a kiss at the end.

About six years ago now, one night we were in bed, and she mentioned one of the sex tapes we'd been watching earlier, which was much more than just a fuck vid, but one that had a story (of sorts), meeting, talking, before the couple got down to “it”.

“It” was a pretty heavy scene of bondage and pain, which we had watched silently.

She asked me if I had ever wanted to do that. I replied as honestly as I could and said that what mattered to me was that she got what she needed from the sexual scene and that if I could see that she was enjoying it, then I would do it for her.

She kept on at me, wanting to know if I would enjoy it for the act itself, and again honestly I said I really didn’t know, that this had never been something I was that aware of until we watched these vids.

A month or so later, I arrived home really rather late, having phoned Liz earlier to tell her I would probably be back after she had gone to bed, and would try not to disturb her. I crept up the stairs, after taking off my shoes, and undressed just outside the bedroom door, so I could slip in beside Liz in the dark. I opened the door, and tip-toed to my side of the bed. I reached for the duvet, but it wasn’t there. Cursing silently the fact that Liz had yet again pulled the duvet over to her side, I reached out a little and flash!! the light went on.

There lay Liz, naked on the white cotton sheet, with loops around her wrists and her feet. She was blindfolded and tied to a device that went under the bed. The ties weren’t tight, and the first thing she asked me was to tighten them. Surprised and a little shocked, I did as she asked.

“Now fuck me, any way you want!”

I’d had seen plenty of examples in the vids we had watched, but was unsure of exactly how to proceed. I thought I’d start simple, so l knelt across her and pushed her tits together so my cock could fuck through them and push against her lips, her head angled just right by the pillow. I stroked her nipples at first, but soon I tightened my grip and squeezed and stretched them long. I got the first reaction from her, a groan, I think of pleasure. But she had asked, so I wasn’t going to let her down.

I pushed my cock against her lips and forced it down as deeply as it would go, in one single movement. She gagged and spluttered, so I pulled out, but her mouth opened again, so I went down again. I’d never throat fucked her before in my life, and I felt a sense of power as I used her like this. She took it all down, though she was spluttering and a white sticky froth came out as I pulled back. But whether by chance or design, the grip on my cock in her throat was nerve shatteringly good.

I could have done this and ejaculated in her throat, but it seemed to me that if she had gone this far and wasn’t telling me to stop, then I’d go on.

I slipped the loops off her ankles and turned her body over, her tied hands crossing above her head, and then retied her ankles. My cock was all slippery from her throat, which gave plenty of lubrication to slide it between her ass cheeks, over her brown puckered hole and into her pussy. To my surprise she was very wet, and felt wonderful as my cock was fully enveloped by her body.

Liz gripped me with a force that surprised me, and encouraged me to redouble my efforts and I pistoned into her body, hard and deep, and with increasing speed. I knew that I was getting close, and Liz was getting something from this as well, as her breath was now in short pants and her body starting to tense.

I had to concentrate hard not to cum too soon but Liz’s climax seemed hard to arrive. I think she was just about giving up, judging from the tone of her body and the annoyance I sensed in her breaths, so I redoubled my efforts, pulling up on her knees, against the ties, which fortunately gave enough, and continuing to fuck her pussy, but with hand son her ass, pushed my thumb over her asshole.

What a change, her pants went to deep groans, and her body tightened again. Fortunately there was still enough throat slime on her ass to make it easy, so in time with my next thrust, I pushed a finger deep into her asshole.

I thought I must have committed murder as she shrieked, and went totally rigid, squeezing my cock like a vice. My balls reacted by spewing their contents into her, and as the pulses hit her, she finally erupted in orgasm.

Once we had both come down from this, I asked her if she was okay. She just hugged me, tears pouring down her face, and thanked me profusely. I disentangled the under bed ties, actually a frame, and she told me she had got this through the mail the day before. She said that we had watched so many videos, and the only ones that had moved her had been the ones where she was submissive and had things done to her. I noticed the identification of her with the women in the vids, and smiled.

“Did I do okay?” I asked.

She smiled and told me that I was “adequate”. I then told her that if that was the case, I’d have to have a lot of practice. And so our sex life was rejuvenated in a way that I would never have dreamed of. I have also discovered a side of me that had not been waken until it was needed to bring my wife back to me.

In the last six years, Liz has finished her medication and lost a lot of weight and now turns heads when we go out. We’ve also spent a lot of money since on toys and equipment, but believe me it is all extremely well spent!