When I was born, fifty-two years ago, I was a chubby baby with a very light complexion and a head full of red hair. I was a contrast to my siblings, as they all had a complexion darker than mine, and darker hair. We used to spend our summer vacations at the beach, and it was funny to see my siblings and my parents getting a perfect tan while the best I could get was a bright red color, then I peeled off all the burnt skin and got burnt all over again. I inherited my colors from both my grandfathers. My parents didn't know how to deal with my skin, they didn't know I needed sunblock as none of them ever used one. Wrong, I know.
I lived in a country where winter is long and tough, spring is short and summer even shorter, so when I finally could go to the beach, my skin screamed to be freed, and I didn't want to spend my time at the beach under an umbrella or wearing a shirt.
I'm older now and I've learned to use sunblock for the love of my skin. I still can't wait to get rid of my clothes and lie down on the beach. The sensation of the warm sun and the wind on my skin is something I wait all winter for, and this year is no different. The only difference this year is that my children are grown up and are living their own lives without me. Oh, and I've got divorced from my husband.
I've spent the past two years working out. I had arrived at a moment when I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without being horrified. My body was a big mass of flabby fat. I reached a point where I had only two solutions to pursue: get rid of all the mirrors or get rid of the fat. A liposuction wasn't a solution, not for me anyway. So, I started a workout plan with the help of my son. I started slowly, increasing whenever I felt I could. Between swimming and healthier meals, I got rid of the flabby fat and now I have muscles, and I can look at my body in the mirror.
That's why my husband’s announcement of getting a divorce, caught me unprepared. I thought he liked the new me more than the old me. But it is what it is.
The day I celebrated my children's birthdays, they presented me with a gift. Funny but it was so. They gave me an envelope with a leasing contract, a key, and all the necessary information for a house on the beach that would be mine from June 1st to August 31st. They knew I've always had the dream of a house on the beach. It was just for one summer, not for life, so I decided to make the best of this, to honor their gift.
I arrived at my new, temporary residence on June 1st late afternoon, and when I woke up the following morning, I couldn’t wait to go out for a walk. I stood on the porch, watching the infinite ocean before me, drinking iced tea, contemplating how lucky I was. I wasn't so sure of my luck five months earlier, when my husband, or better, ex-husband, told me he wanted the divorce. I felt unfortunate then, lonely, abandoned, and betrayed.
There, on that porch, before the ocean, I was smiling again and thinking how lucky I was, and how wonderful my children have been to support me and to help me to go through the toughest moment of my life.
I still had to unpack my suitcases, but it had to wait. The beach called me. The sun was about to come up at the horizon and that was the best moment for a walk. Wearing shorts and a tank top, I headed north. No need for shoes, that was my ideal vacation.
During my walk, I met a few people, mostly couples, both young and old, a few groups of ladies around my age. It appeared that no one went solo for a walk. It was so pleasant that I decided to make that walk a routine, no matter what, and to leave the cell phone at home.
There was a guy fishing, or was he sleeping? He was sitting on a beach chair, with an empty one beside him, a fishing pole planted in the sand, and he had a hat down on his eyes. He was probably sleeping. I stood there, staring at this figure for a few minutes. It was interesting. I've always loved to invent stories about the people around me. In my imagination, that guy was using fishing as an excuse to escape from an annoying wife. Or maybe he was a widower that couldn't reconcile with the loss and still hoped his wife would join him on the other chair.
OK Mya, get a life, I said to myself.
"I'm not sleeping, but I'm trying,” a husky, deep, and very sexy voice spoke under that hat, causing me to wince.
"Jeez! You scared me,” I said, bringing a hand to my chest.
"Sorry. I didn't mean it,” he said, his voice sleepy, coming from under the hat he hadn’t removed from his eyes.
"It's ok," I answered back, "Are you a mind reader?” I asked him.
"You know," he continued, "She never liked fishing, but she stayed beside me anyway, with a book, sipping coffee, and holding my hand," he said, making a fist with his hand and pausing between words. Then he continued, "I've never caught a fish, it's just my way to relax and enjoy the beach. The sound of the waves is calming to me, but since that day I can no longer sleep," he spoke slowly and was breathing deeply between words, like he was trying to hold back tears.
"What day?" I asked because I thought he wanted to talk.
"Almost two years ago. We used to spend summer here. That day we were here, in this exact position, as every other day from June to August for the past five years. It was hot, I asked her if she wanted cool water, and she didn't answer. She was gone, holding my hand,” and the tears flowed down his cheeks.
"I am so sorry," I said, trying not to cry but unsuccessfully. I squatted down beside him, putting a hand on his. His tanned hand made a strong contrast with my ivory one. He seemed to notice it and slightly pulled up his hat, opening his eyes, showing the most beautiful grey eyes I've ever seen, and looking at our hands.
"Milk and chocolate. It's the perfect match,” he said, hinting a smile between tears.
"Indeed,” I said giggling, trying to shake off the sadness of that moment.
We stayed there for a few minutes, each of us lost in our memories. Then I stood up and said, "Well, I better keep walking."
"Yeah, well I didn't introduce myself. I'm Rhett,” he said.
"Oh, wow! I am Scarlett then," I said laughing for my own joke, trying to look away from his magnetic eyes.
"Yes, my mother loved that movie. Indeed, if I had been a baby girl, of course, she'd have called me Scarlett,” he said, laughing as well.
"I'm Mya, it's been a pleasure meeting you. Try to sleep, ok?” I said, walking away and waving. Then I changed my mind, I turned and walked back to Rhett, "Rhett? I'm heading home to get my stuff and some cool water to spend the morning on the beach. Do you mind if I join you? Not on the chair, I wouldn’t. I can bring mine."
He pulled up his hat and with a smile answered, "I’d love it, but please, I'd like to have you beside me on this chair. Where do you live?"
I hesitated a moment, you know, I was living alone, and he was a stranger, but then I took the risk, "Over there,” I said, pointing to my house, "The blue one with the white porch."
I rummaged in my suitcases to find the towel, the bathing suit, and the sunblock. Then I grabbed two bottles and filled one with cool water and one with iced tea and put them in the cooler with ice. I texted my children to let them know I was fine and headed to the beach. When I was out on the porch, I saw that Rhett had moved all his stuff and was now sitting by the shore, right in front of my house, with the empty chair beside him.
"Water or iced tea?” I asked, offering him the bottles.
"Iced tea, please,” he answered.
I then started spreading the sunblock on my legs, then my stomach, chest, arms, and face.
"Do you need help with your back?” Rhett asked, "I'm good at that. That’s what my wife used to say,” and he chuckled.
Giggling I said, "I bet, but for now, while I'm sitting here, I'm fine. Before going in the water though, I will ask for your help, thank you."
We stayed there, in silence, for a while, just the sound of the sea and the chatting of few people passing by.
"I like the early morning and the late afternoon, when just a few quiet people are on the beach,” Rhett said, breaking the silence, "When families start to settle in - babies crying, kids running, guys with loud music - I prefer to go back home,” he continued, putting back his hat on his eyes.
"I agree with you. That's why I love the house on the beach, I can be here early in the morning and late in the afternoon," I replied, glad to discover that I wasn't the only one who likes peace. "I generally take a walk at sunrise, I stay on the beach until 11-11:30, then I go back home to have lunch. I read or rest and by 4:30-5, I go back to the beach, when generally people have dinner. I like having dinner late, by 7:30-8,” I stated, giving him a lot of information about me, realizing then that he probably didn’t care.
"I know you for less than an hour and I find you already are an interesting woman. Where have you been for the past two years?” he asked, smiling.
It was extremely pleasant and relaxing, being on the beach, talking with an interesting and handsome man, with the sound of the waves and some birds in the background. It was simply perfect, and it was only the first day.
"I need to cool down in the water. Do you mind spreading the sunblock on my back?" I asked him, feeling the warmth of the day rising up.
"Sure,” he answered, smiling.
"You look eager to do this, am I wrong?” I asked, looking from my shoulder at his face.
"No, you're right. It's been a long time since the last time I spread lotion. I miss this and many other simple gestures that create the intimacy of a relationship,” he answered, while thoroughly spreading the lotion.
"What other gestures do you miss? If I'm not nosy," I asked, getting up and seeing he was going to join me to the water, "Do you need lotion? I can help you,” I asked him.
"No, but thank you for asking,” he answered and then his voice changed to a melancholic tone. "You know, my Betty, that was her name, had MS, and the last year or so was hard for her doing most of the things. So, I was the one helping her doing things like hooking her bra, spreading the lotion on her body, brushing her hair. Sometimes, in the last months, I had to sponge her."
"I'm so sorry. It must have been terrible for you to see her suffering,” I said, looking at the infinite horizon before us.
"It was. Mostly because she felt like she was a burden to me. I think she decided to let it go before it was too much for me. But please, stop with the sadness. We are in such a beautiful place, I'm here with a beautiful woman, and we should celebrate because we're alive,” he said, dipping in the water and splashing water at me.
I joined him. It was such a pleasure feeling the cool water wrapping me in a hug. I shook off the heaviness of Rhett's memories, and swam under the water, resurfacing after a few yards. He was still where I left him, staring at me, smiling.
"You are not swimming?” I asked out loud.
"No thanks, I prefer to watch you, if you don't mind,” he answered, winking.
I giggled, then I continued swimming. I was content. If this was just the beginning of my summer vacation, I was ready for what was to come.
When I got out of the water, Rhett was spreading my towel on the sand, like he knew I was going to lie down.
"You are reading my mind again,” I said surprised.
He just chuckled and sat on his chair, without answering, pulling his hat down on his eyes.
"I was thinking,” he said, after a while, not changing his position, "we can have lunch together, on my porch or on yours. My house is the green one over there,” he said pointing a finger to a house right where he was when I met him earlier.
"My house is still a mess because I got here last night, and I still have to go to the grocery store,” I answered, "Do you mind if we do it at your place?"
"Now you're the one who sounds eager,” he answered back, chuckling.
"I am,” I whispered, hoping he didn’t hear me. I felt eager, excited. I was a divorced woman who didn't have sex for a long time. He was a handsome man, kind of my age or a few years older. We were both at the beginning of our three months’ vacation at the beach. I saw his face while he was looking at me when I was swimming, and it wasn't the face of an uninterested man. What else was to say – that down there, between my legs, I was feeling tickling, eager to be touched.
It was about 11:30 when I checked the time. I probably fell asleep, and it was getting hot, "I need to go home to take a shower, then I’ll join you. OK?” I said, getting up.
"I have an outdoor shower you can use. Let's go,” he said, holding out his hand for me.
I hesitated a moment, then I accepted his hand. We walked, hand in hand, to his house and I felt at ease, like my hand was born to be in his. I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe, so I stayed silent, trying to keep certain thoughts at bay. But there was no way to stop that tickling I was feeling down between my legs. I felt the desire, the need to rub my body against his, needing to kiss him, and to feel his hands on my body.
"Over there is the shower,” he said, interrupting my thoughts, pointing to a hut in the corner.
I was taking a cold shower. In books and movies, they always say that a cold shower helps to cool down the excitement, but it wasn’t working for me. I grabbed the towel then I realized that I didn't have dry clothes. I was trying to dab some of the water dripping from my bathing-suit, when I saw Rhett walking toward me, bringing a green, dry, cover-up. I smiled.
"You are doing it again. Stop reading my mind,” I said, chuckling. I went back behind the hut to change clothes. I didn't have underwear and I hoped Rhett wouldn't realize that. I can't say I felt embarrassed. Actually, I felt naughty and wished he realized I didn’t have a bra or panties. What was happening to me? I didn't recognize this naughtiness that was possessing me, but I liked it and I embraced it.
We ate on the porch, talking about ourselves. I talked about my children and my divorce. He talked about his late wife and his three grown-up children. I found out he was three years older than me and his children were about the same age as mine.
After lunch, we had coffee and cleared the table. I helped him wash dishes, then I said, "I have to go grocery shopping and I still have to unpack. Would you like to come over for dinner?" In reality, I had to get out of his house, or I was going to do something I would later regret.