Here I am again, sprawled out on this bed in nothing but your large jumper, staring into the abyss of a blank wall. It's funny how the mind can conjure shapes and stories out of nothingness. In this jumper, in this position, I can almost feel you behind me with your hard cock pushed against my ass, too lazy to move now, but promising to fuck me through the headboard later. I trace the lines where the white paint meets the corner, wondering who painted this wall. I wonder if they look like you do in those jeans you wore when you threatened to paint my room black to match my mood. The silence is obvious, yet oddly comforting, like a soft mist concealing my intentions. I want to fill that silence with moans and dirty talk and music, but I’ve always been quieter than most. You were the noise.
My mind drifts, flicking through memories of you and your firm hands on my neck when you had me at your mercy. Immediately I can feel my body respond the way you trained me to. Nothing but marks left behind gets me there anymore. I resist, wanting to break the cage you trapped me in when you crafted my lust in your image. It's frantic, really, the way I can’t ignore this. It’s like physical pain. Like a bright red disruption thrown haphazardly against my walls, slowly dripping down onto the perfect white floors. The straitjacket of my control unravels as I squeeze my thighs together and release them. Almost before I’m aware of it, I move my hands down and rest a finger lightly on my clit. I haven’t committed yet, but I know it's inevitable, and I need this like the cracking of glass on a new ship. We deserve a sendoff.
I slowly rub my clit. Eyes on the wall as I take a languid exploration of my opening, finding it wet and warm and wanting. I try to keep the jumper from my wetness, but I take the hem at the bottom and use the roughness to tease my clit until I see a small wet stain on the otherwise perfect material. I reach for the vibrator you bought me and turn it on to the lowest setting. I start slowly running the blunt vibrating tip up and down my slit thinking about how far I’ll go today. Should I go fast or slow? Should I go until the battery fails? I feel my nerves tense and spark. It’s not quiet anymore. I can hear my breathing audible over the hum of the vibrator. I should have let you buy me a quieter one; you were right.
I push the tip of the vibrator in with little resistance. I wait, fiddling with the button to make the vibrations stronger. Almost as soon as I increase it, I find myself rocking against the shaft in a practiced rhythm. I need to slow down, so I shift into a different position. I’m on my hands and knees now, with my hand reaching back to hold the vibrator in place, and I hold my arm still as I let the momentum of my rocking plunge the shaft in and out. I move faster, the pink rabbit ears teasing my clit as I move to the silence. I can feel the heat moving down my spine. I know it’s too soon to cum with any real release, but it also seems fitting that it’s done too soon.
I up the vibrations to the strongest setting, and I work the shaft, I can feel the clenching begin, and it spurs me on. Rock with your hips and your knees, I remember you saying. I open my knees so that I have increased stability, and I use my arm to provide more friction, moving it in time with my hips. My wrist extends and flicks the silicone pink cock in my hand. I want to experiment with the pulsating vibrations, and I remember that was my intention, but it’s a delicious, relentless buzz right now. I sit up and release my other hand so that I can reach for the butt plug on my nightstand. I want to feel every nerve give chase to this. I reach for the plug and lubricate it before I push it in my ass slowly. It hurts a little, but almost immediately, I feel my body push past the pain. Now, when I rock, I can feel the wall between the two sex toys barely containing them. I use my now free hand to lean against the wall of my bedroom while my other hand grips the vibrator. I’m sitting up on my knees with them open now. My chest is covered in a thin sheen of sweat; I can feel the sweat being absorbed by your jumper as I find my stability and bare down on my vibrator. The cute ears find their mark. I feel the waves build.
The waves crest, and I close my eyes. I can feel the orgasm rip through me and settle between my legs as I fall forward, down to my stomach, and lie with my cheek against the sheets. I open my eyes and notice the walls are not just white anymore, they are covered in shooting stars.
And so, I lay, a solitary figure in the dim light, lost in the excess of my own vices for a moment. Exhale. I get up, grab my toys, walk to the ensuite basin, and start rinsing away the evidence. Just like that, everything is clean and as it was before.
