I just want you to want me. 

We’ve been together for years; years of soft touches and gentle kisses and whispered I-love-yous. 

But I want more. We used to be so hot and heavy, so passionate, and I can feel the heat fading as we fall into the repetition of day-to-day life. 

I can see the way you look at me, like I’m just another piece of your day, as important to you as the coffee pot or the keys to your car, just another step before you go out the door. 

I want you to really see me like I see you, and maybe that’s part of the problem. Perhaps I’m blinded by my expectations of you, but that’s not the point. 

I want you to look at me and see me for all that I am – both your partner and your equal and your goddess and queen. 

Finally one night, I can’t take it anymore, can no longer wait for you to make the first move. I roll over to kiss you, my lips soft against the roughness of your stubble. I kiss all over your face and down your body. I hear you moan and run your fingers through my hair, and I’m encouraged to continue. I slip the tips of my fingers under the waistband of your underwear, reveling in the warmth I find there. I pull the fabric down and take a sharp breath when I see your cock, semi-hard and waiting for my touch. I love the sound of your breath catching as I start to kiss around the base of your dick, licking up to the head and taking it in my mouth, sucking and twirling my tongue over the sensitive head. You moan and I take you farther into my throat, satisfied when I feel your cock swell and harden against my lips. 

“Stop.”

I pause and look up at you. Your eyes are closed and your breathing has slowed.

 “I have to be up early,” you whisper, stroking your hand down my face and gently guiding me away from your cock. 

“What?” I’m in shock, but not surprised. I should have seen this coming. I try a different tactic. I put a ‘come-hither' smile on and crawl over you, positioning my pussy, barely covered by my silk panties, against your cock.

 “Aren’t I worth losing a little sleep?” I whisper in your ear, slowly grinding against you. You moan again but it’s quieter. 

“I love you, but I need to get up early,” you say again. You’re being gentle. You’re not trying to hurt my feelings, but either way, I end up hurt. 

“I love you too,” I say to the darkness, laying down and moving to my side of the king bed we share, careful not to let my skin touch yours. For a moment I’m hopeful that you’ll reach across the gap and touch me, pull me close and press against me. 

Then I hear the gentle snoring and know that I’ve lost another battle. 

The next morning I stay in bed, listening to the usual sounds- Shower, belt, coffee, shoes. Only after I hear you pick up your keys do I sit up. You lean against the doorframe; it shouldn’t be possible to be that attractive and actively deny it. And yet somehow you do it every day. 

“I’m leaving now,” you say, looking me up and down. I pull the comforter closer. 

“Okay. Have a good day.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Have a good day.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Is something wrong?”

I shake my head. “No, never.” I smile and we both know it’s fake but only I know why.

You take my words at face value and come to kiss me. It’s a loving kiss, but the heat has dissipated completely. 

You leave the room and I hear the door lock behind you. 

I decided to get up. I go through my usual routine; coffee, shower, protein shake. Then I get ready for my run. We live somewhere where the sun always shines, so I put on my favorite running shorts and sports bra and silently hope I get a tan. 

Pulling my long brown hair into a tight ponytail I quickly stretch and head out. I immediately feel better as I feel the sun on my skin, my muscles relaxing and tensing with each footfall. 

About half a mile in I hear someone calling out to me. 

“Hey!” 

At first, I ignore them, but when I look I see it’s our neighbor, Alex. He’s always been friendly, sometimes too friendly, but we’re always polite because he mows our lawn for free. He’s walking his dog toward me. 

“How are you Alex?” I pause, catching my breath as he approaches. He’s wearing a pale blue button-up and swim trunks. 

“I’m fine, but not as fine as you! Damn!” Alex exclaims, looking me up and down. I feel a happy glow spread over my face. He continues. “You better be careful, being out here alone with all that ass going on. Someone’s gonna scoop you up and take you home.”

I laugh it off politely but inside something’s sparked. Someone finds me attractive and they’re not expected to. 

I give a nonchalant stretch, presenting my firm ass to the sky and touching my toes. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Alex glance from my tits, the tops of my breasts pushed tight against my bra, then back to my ass.

 I know my ass looks good- I don’t run every day for the endorphins.

He shifts his stance and I feel a little thrill knowing he’s having a hard time controlling himself. His dog pulls at the leash and Alex seems to come back to reality. He blinks a few times before speaking. 

“Have a nice as-run. Have a good run.”  He turns and walks away and I can’t keep the smile from my face. 

For the rest of my run, I go through the marketplace. Every opportunity I get I catch a glimpse at the men I pass. My heart skips a beat when I catch them staring. One even catches me watching and winks. 

By the time I get home my stomach is a whirl of butterflies from all the attention. I’m exhausted from the run so I turn on the shower and strip my clothes. I catch my reflection in the mirror- a slender brunette with firm breasts and hips that dip into an hourglass figure. I reach up and release my ponytail and my hair falls to my shoulders framing my face. 

I look damn good. 

I reach for my phone, balanced on the bathroom sink, and snap a picture of myself in the mirror. 

Then I send it to you. 

I add the caption  “Just hopping in the shower, wish you could join me,” and I finish it off with a wink. 

I turn on the hot water and stand under it, letting it hit everywhere I wish you would touch me. I run my hands over myself, pretending they’re yours. Eventually, I leave the warmth of the shower, dry off, and get dressed, and I  go about my day. 

The day goes as usual too quickly and the sun is beginning to set when my phone sings out your ringtone. I grab for it and open your text.

“Home soon.”

I’m stunned. That’s all? 

I take three deep breaths and think about all the attention I got today, all the passersby who just couldn't look away when I walked by.

You don’t know what you have. You don’t know what you’re missing, I think to myself. 

You come home and give me a kiss on the cheek. You take off your tie and place your shoes by the door. 

“Did you get my text?” you ask. 

“Did you get mine?” I reply, hands on my hips. I’m in the mood for a fight- anything to get a reaction out of you. 

“I did.” 

You step closer to me and my arms wrap around your neck. Your hands rest on my hips and I lean against you. 

“You didn’t reply,” I say, looking up at you and pouting my lip.

“Baby, I couldn’t find the words.” Your voice is low and your hands begin to slide up and down my waist.

 “I looked at your picture every chance I could. I couldn’t think straight. You’ve been on my mind all day.” 

The butterflies are back. 

I lean closer to you and run my fingers through your hair. 

“And what were you thinking instead?” I whisper. 

“How badly I wanted to touch you, to pick you up and take you to bed.” 

I giggle at how similar your and Alex’s words were.

“You’re not the first person to say that today.”

Your hands stop and tighten against me.

“What? What do you mean?” 

“Alex said the same thing this morning. On my run.” 

You back away and the distance makes me miss the heat of your body. 

“Why the fuck did he say that?” Your voice is low. I am only a little afraid.

“I guess he liked the way I looked. My ass looks great in my running shorts, I can’t help adding. 

You pause and I’m worried I’ve broken the moment. Then you come toward me and bend down, throwing me over your shoulder. 

“Hey!” I shout in surprise as you carry me to the bedroom. I’m impressed with how easily you toss me on the bed, as if I weigh nothing. 

You flip me onto my stomach and grab my ass, massaging it roughly before grabbing my sweatpants and pulling them off me. 

“This ass? This is the one he said he wanted?”

I give a whimpering nod, not used to you acting this way but sure as hell not stopping it. You raise your hand and smack my ass. I shriek, and you do it again. I can feel the red hot mark spreading across my butt cheek. 

“This ass is mine, and you are mine. Do you understand? Not for Alex, for me.” 

I do, but I don’t want to stop a good thing.

“But, I don’t think I understand…” I say in a small voice. I feel the weight of you on my legs, holding me to the bed as you move closer. 

You flip me on top of you, holding me close. Your hand is wrapped in my hair as you bring my lips to yours. 

“In that case, let me remind you again.” 

You kiss me, but this time with force and need. I kiss you back and let go of all the need and passion I’ve kept bottled up inside for far too long, letting it flow between us. 

Your other hand moves along my body, stopping to cup and pull me closer to you as if you can’t wait a second longer to be inside me. Soon both your hands are holding my ass, griding me against your steadily hardening cock. 

Suddenly you flip me again, my back against the sheets, you pull my shirt over my head. I groan as your mouth falls to my nipple. The feel of your tongue, your teeth! It all drives me wild and I thrust my hips up to meet yours. You pin me down and shake your head. 

“Ah ah ah. Be patient, baby.” 

You’re enjoying this, I realize. You continue to kiss my breasts, licking and biting and sucking until I’m practically begging you to touch my pussy. 

“Please. Please!” I whimper. My wrists strain against your strong hands but you don’t budge. Instead, you slowly lick your way back up to my mouth and slip your tongue between my lips, where I hungrily suck it into my mouth and I smile at the way it makes you groan. 

I love that I can still make you want me. 

You can’t wait much longer, and neither can I. You sit back on your heels and start to unbuckle your belt. I sit up to stop you. 

“Wait. Allow me.” 

We switch positions with you on your back. I unbutton your shirt one button at a time, slowly kissing down to your waistline before doing away with the shirt entirely. 

I unzip your pants, pulling them down in one movement, striping you down to your skin. 

I take your already hard cock in my mouth and you thrust yourself deep into my throat. 

I gasp, both for air and your fingers that are now grazing against my slit. I keep you in my mouth, bobbing up and down and feeling the tip of your cock touch the back of my throat. 

You moan loudly and pull my hair, forcing me to stop.

 “If you keep that up I’m not going to last.” You growl.

 “Maybe that was my plan,” I smirk. You laugh and push your hands against my shoulders. 

“On your knees.” 

I position myself in front of you, and for a moment you’re quiet, and I’m afraid you’ve changed your mind… 

“You’re so beautiful. I’d forgotten what it was like to see you this way.” You say it so quietly, voice so full of lust and love, as you glide your hands along my back, then down to my breasts. I can feel you hard against me. 

I ask one last time. 

“Please?” 

You need no more encouragement. With one painstakingly slow thrust, you are inside me. I nearly cry as the feeling of being filled floods through me and I press back against you, willing you to go deeper. You slowly start to move in and out, teasingly coming all the way out before slamming back in. I give myself, all of me, to you. Bliss starts to build inside of me and I can feel the pressure rising. 

“I’m going to come!” I whimper, and you know what to do. You move harder, faster, hand fluttering over my clit and I grip the sheets in pleasure as my orgasm crashes over me. You groan as your own release follows. My pussy grips your cock and milks your cum inside me, filling me with your warmth. 

We collapse, you holding me tight against you. The smell of you fills my senses and I move closer. Wrapping your arms around me, you hold me close and nuzzle your face in my neck. Your stubble scratches in the best way and I can feel the rumble of your groans through my skin. 

“I love you.” You say, and I know that you mean it, that you still want me. 

“I love you too.” 

And in that moment I really truly do.