Yes, I was dead. At least I was emotionally soul dead to the world. My heart was dead and had no room for myself else much less anyone else.

Yes, I ate meals that had no flavor. I took showers to wash a body with no feelings, no sensations. I worked, I slept, I did all the things you do to keep body and soul in the same general vicinity. Mom Davenport tried for all she was worth to help lighten my grief, but in the end, she had her own grief to deal with. Her only child was gone.

I even somehow managed to start and grow my own business. We were small, but we were growing. After the first year of my grief, Dave, my fellow Marine, my best man, and my business partner along with his wife Mattie tried to get me to come out of my stupor and find a girlfriend. It was a fool’s mission. I was lost and that was that. I needed no one to help hook me up. Soon they gave it up too.

I used to spend hours just staring at Shellie in a picture sitting in our new car with her baby bump touching the steering wheel.

Of course, every small and growing company has its legal issues. To solve those issues we sought out a legal firm who specialized in business matters. For us that firm was Solvang and Associates. Bill Solvang was an acquaintance of mine from college. He was in law while I studied law enforcement. It’s funny how things work out. I no longer had anything to do with the law, and he was building his own law firm. I was happy to throw what business I could his way, when I could.

Bill took care of getting us incorporated as an LLC to protect our personal property from loss should our company fail. Then he took over a large portion of our accounting work too. He had hired an accountant just for this purpose. It was a blessing to our little company since we knew shit about payroll and taxes and all that. Dave’s wife Mattie was keeping our books up to then, but was frankly overwhelmed. It was all turned over to Bill’s accountant, Janet Czkowicz. Mattie, for one, breathed a sigh of relief and happily went back to the chore of wife and mom.

I never figured out what it was about Janet, but something about her just seemed to draw my attention. Yes, she was an attractive woman.

Her hair was a wonderful shade of auburn, looking more the color of a fawn than anything else I could possibly describe. Her hair flowed off her head down to her shoulders in a cascade of curls that absolutely took my breath away. She seemed, at least to me, to have streaks of purest gold running through the strands of her honey delicious hair.

Janet’s smile was to die for, her teeth became glowing beacons as her lips parted when she smiled. Oh, those lips, so red, so kinda puffy. I think the work I am looking for is kissable.

Her eyes were hazel, and were always filled with light and life. I guess it was her eyes that first attracted me. That shade of hazel along with what seemed to me to be golden flecks in her iris just kept me rapt.

I mean, Janet was the whole package. She was about five foot, six or seven inches. Her boobs seemed to me to be about 36 Ds (I was to find out later that I was close, she was actually 38D). She had a figure that could stop traffic in front of the AMTRAK station, in down town LA.

Janet, to me, seemed to be always to be dressed to be professional at least while on the job. I was seriously smitten by my accountant.

As I became more and more aware of my attraction to Janet Czkowicz, I decided I needed to know all I could about a woman I was quickly becoming infatuated with. So, being a good college buddy, I cornered Bill, Janet’s boss, and invited him out to lunch.

Bill, being nobody’s fool saw right through me. I must have more resembled a window pane instead of the smooth operator I fancied myself. Actually, Bill shared that it was pretty obvious to the entire firm that I had really fallen for Janet. He told me that she felt very much the same, but being a lady wouldn’t be forward and make a pass at me.

Bill also shared that Janet was divorced and had been for several years and that Janet had a daughter, Michelle . My heart took a huge leap at that coincidence. I had to gulp and explain to Bill what had just occurred.

Following the lunch with Bill, I began my hunt for Janet. I wanted her now, more than ever.

A week later my plotting and planning was complete. Time to put my plan into action.

On Monday, I simply walked up to Janet’s desk which we had set up for her in my office suite to use while doing our books once a week, I asked her out on a three day date.

A date with two girls.

At first, she only stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. Her jaw seemed to hang open as she contemplated the state of my sanity.

Just to make matters far more confusing, I held out three weekend, all expenses paid passes to Disneyland. I knew Janet earned well, but she would have considered this, a luxury she couldn’t justify.

I had also made reservations at the Frontier Land Lodge on the park grounds with open dates. Two rooms, of course, a double for her and Michelle and another for me.

I knew this was going to be a stretch but I was looking for the home run ball. I had Bill’s permission to take his employee out to lunch and ask Michelle what she might think about the whole idea during her lunch time at school.

Since I had not ever met Michelle, I was taking a gamble. But knowing that Janet rather liked me secretly helped my confidence.

Janet was still looking at me like I was crazy as I lifter her from her desk by her elbow and took her out of the office, down the elevator out the front door of our office building and straight into a limo I had rented for the day.

We were whisked away to the nearest McDonalds restaurant where a happy meal was procured. Janet still was seemingly in shock as she told the driver the elementary school where Michelle was a student.

Shortly after our arrival, the lunch break bell sounded and it seemed like every kid in Los Angeles jammed into the lunch room where we waited. It was only just a few minutes before Janet started waiving like an idiot at the most gorgeous little girl I had ever seen.

Michelle came rushing up to her mom. Janet hugged her girl deeply and sighed as only a mom can do. Then Janet made our introductions saying that I wanted to ask her out on a date. Then it was Michelle’s turn to let her mouth hang open. All she said was, “Mom you know I’m still too little to go out on a date.” Janet then explained the deal to her, all the while Michelle’s eyes just got bigger and bigger.

When Michelle finally calmed down a bit, I looked at her quite sternly and asked her, “You’re not going to stand me up are you, young lady?” Her baby blues looked up at me with eyes as big as dinner plates and claimed she wanted this more than anything else in the whole wide world. I just smiled as the most beautiful daughter in the whole wide world ran off to share the news of her very first date with all her girlfriends.

As Janet and I left the school grounds headed for the limo. I nonchalantly took her hand in mine. She turned her head to me and I turned mine to her and we just looked into each others eyes as an unspoken message passed between us. Words were not necessary. She understood that Michelle was not going to a barrier to us getting to know each other on a deeper level. I also wanted her to feel and to know that I was already totally in love with her child as much as she was.

Lunch was at Steward’s Steakhouse, a fairly upscale eatery. Neither of us really had an appetite for food as we just sat at the table, now openly holding hands. I guess we really made goo-goo eyes at one another. I had not felt like this in years, and I was looking at the reason for it across the table from me.

I asked her if she was really committed to going back to work this afternoon since it was already 2PM. If asked, “If not, we could go to my place, it’s not too far from here.” She only smiled at me in her feminine way and nodded.

She only said, “Lets go, I’ve been waiting for this offer for a long time.”

The drive to my place only took a few minutes. I then released the Limo, signed the charge sheet, and opened the security door to my (yes, my) building. We rode the private elevator to the penthouse flat where I humbly abide. Once the elevator doors closed I turned to her, and without asking, Janet stepped into my arms.

Our lips met. This first kiss was not a lip crusher. No, it was more a butterfly kiss, A butterfly kiss that started almost without the sensation of pressure. Soon it deepened though.

The kiss held its own life. It became us. We became it. The kiss became the KISS as we began to find each other emotionally. We were becoming one. Hell, this was only our first kiss and I was losing my heart and my soul to this woman.

All of sudden, Janet screeched as if she had seen the end of the world. The next words out of her mouth were probably predictable knowing who and what she is. “Shit, Don, school is going to be out in twenty minutes and we’re way across town from Michelle’s school.”

We flew out of the apartment and hit the parking garage on the run. We were on a mission. No fighter pilot in war was more determined to get somewhere on time than Janet and I. We didn’t run any red lights but we sure as hell came close at a couple of intersections.

Damn, I thought to myself, I didn’t even get a shoe off her. But then again it didn’t fucking matter. I knew that I did love her and hoped she felt the same about me. What I really had in mind could wait. I did indeed want to make lover to her. Hell!! I really wanted to fuck her brains out! I wanted to make her moan my name in pleasure.

Now sitting in the car in front of the school building with five whole minutes to spare, Janet turned to me. She just looked me straight in the eyes and calmly, slowly leaned in laying a kiss on my lips that could have started the San Francisco fire. Tongues dueled as we once again shared our souls.

Once we looked up we burst into laughter, Michelle was standing on her tippy toes peeking into the car. It must have looked strange to Michelle because as she got into my beemer, she asked me if I liked her mom. I told her honestly that I liked her mom very much.

I drove Janet and Michelle back over to my office where Janet’s car was parked and let the ladies out. Michelle told me all about her day at school and how all her BFFs were like totally jealous of her now, and that her new daddy was pretty cool.

As Janet drove away, I knew that life for me was never going to be the same. My heart was no longer mine. It was now the property of Janet and Michelle.

Then next three days passed in a total blur for me. I kept calling Janet just to hear her voice as I stupidly asked her again and again if everything was okay. Was there anything else I needed to take care of?

Finally, it was Friday. Janet had gotten Michelle excused from school for the day. And I called Janet’s boss, Bill earlier and got her off work that day off as well. Finally, I called my partner in crime, Dave and did not ask to be out; I just told him to not expect me to be, in even though we were expecting possible future clients to come in to tour our operation. Frankly, I didn’t give a rats-ass about the business at that second. Janet and Michelle were way, way more important to me at that moment that even the business. Had Dave given me any gruff and offered to buy me out for $1.25 he would have had a sale.

At last Friday was here. The limo showed up promptly at 7:30 am . I boarded quickly with my overnight bag and we were on our way. Next stop Janet’s apartment. When we pulled in, Michelle was at the curb with her pack cutely poised on her back, jumping up and down, She was so damned cute she took my breath away.

Her gorgeous mom was right behind her trying to hold the jumping bean down.

Janet looked totally awesome too. She had on a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt. But damned, if she didn’t make those blue jeans look sexy! On the other hand, I think Janet could have made an old potato sack look sexy that Friday; at least in my mind she did. She had on a pink sweatshirt the really did nothing for me though. The sweatshirt hid two of the things I most needed to see. Oh well!!

We arrived at the park around 9:45 and were ushered into the park via the VIP entrance. Our entrance passes were checked by the gate guard and we were escorted by a concierge directly to our hotel.

Our rooms were already made up and awaiting us, We dropped our bags and back packs and were on our way to the park.

The day was an absolute whirlwind, Michelle wanted to go on every ride we came to. Thanks to our VIP status, we went straight to the head of the line as we had a Disney concierge assigned to help our Disney experience.

For dinner we decided to just grab something light from the house menu. I called room service and had Mickey Burgers with fries for Michelle and filet of sole for Janet and I.

After dinner, we all settled in and lay on the giant California king bed to watch TV. I needed to see the evening news and business report. However, Michelle chose to ignore Janet and I as we lay side by side facing each other. We snuck in little kisses when we thought Michelle wasn’t looking. Michelle, being Michelle chose to ignore us and played quietly with her dolls on the floor.

Following the news, and as promised, we turned on the in house Disney Channel cable. The Littlest Mermaid was showing and we all enjoy the feature until around 9 O’clock. At that point, I chose a tactical withdrawal, and excused myself of the ladies.

Returning to my room through the adjoining door, I took a quick shower and lay myself out in only my pj bottoms as was my habit on the top of my bed. That little girl had surely run my poor ass ragged. I was more tired than I thought one man could be. In essence, I passed out.

Sometime around ten o’clock I was jarred awake by light streaming through the crack in the doorway. Janet was standing there. She was a vision of raw sexual pleasure on legs. She wore some kind of a lacy gown and against the light, her silhouette immediately started my cock to stiffen.

I could see every curve of her sensuous body. Her breasts were also visible as globes of wonder and delight. Her nipples were clearly erect as she slowly and silently approached the bed where I lay.

Ever so slowly and ever so gracefully she reached to a bow at her neck and pulled on it while staring directly into my eyes. It fell to the floor with a near silent swoosh of silken material. She approached my bed, now totally naked one step at a time. I could see the lips of her pussy now made shiny by her own juices. Now she had arrived at the bed and gently settled beside me, but only half way up the length of the bed. She was still staring into my eyes as she lowered her head to my waiting penis. Janet didn’t bother with pulling my briefs down, she just ripped them away from my body to the side. As my cock sprung out she was waiting. She just captured the object of her desire between her lips beginning with a sweet kiss. She winked at me and asked if this was for her. The look of lust on her face had me as hard as I ever remembered being. I was literally drooling precum.

Once she had swallowed my first orgasm, she rolled herself on top of me and took my still hard cock into her hand. She simply jacked me a few strokes, shifted body upwards and took my cock to the lips of paradise.

I gave my hips a one little hitch and I was in her, at least as far as the head. Janet rolled her hips backwards a little and her pussy swallowed my entire length in one gulp. The look on her face was pure ecstasy. She continued to roll her hips in a way I didn’t think was possible. In very short order her forced celibacy was ended as she had her first orgasm in several years. At least one with a man’s hard cock attached.

She let out a moan that made me want to stay exactly where I was for as long as she would let me stay. She trembled and moaned as we wrestled in the throes of our shared love.

We were covered in a sheen of lust of our own making when we both finally chose to cuddle in one others arms and we fell asleep in a lovers coma.

The next thing I remember is an earthquake hitting Anaheim. Or at least I though it was at first. As I looked to the foot of the bed there was an 8 year old bouncing on the bed like a trampoline and she was chanting, “I’m gonna to get a daddy, I ’m gonna get a daddy” over and over again.

Janet just shrieked and tried to pull the covers over uur naked bodies. Finally, she just gave up and ran into her own room seeking shelter from further embarrassment. I was absolutely howling with laughter at the entire scene as it had played out.

At least breakfast went off without a hitch. We dined in the hotel cafeteria. Then I sprang the next surprise on my two ladies. I let them know that we were going shopping. Without telling them our destination we all jumped in a cab at the front of the park and headed to an address that I had written on a slip of paper for the driver’s eyes only.

Fifteen minutes later we pulled up in front of a very famous jeweler on Rodeo Drive. There I forced my girls to pick out our engagement ring, and Janet’s wedding ring. We arranged for it to be sized as we waited. In that mean time I picked out a gold locket for Michelle and had it laser engraved with the date and my name on inside. She was thrilled.

Janet was still speechless. But I was not done.

Once we were set at the Jewelers, Janet was beaming as we again jumped into a taxi taking a short jump to the private terminal at LAX. There a helicopter was waiting that took us on next leg of our Saturday adventure. The destination was Las Vegas. We were married and on our way back to Disneyland before dinner.

That night as Mr. and Mrs. Severin, we dined in extreme luxury. It was whatever the ladies wanted. Michelle still wanted her Mickey Burger and French fries. Oh, well! Janet and I had steak and lobster with a side of oysters saluted in white wine and a bottle of champagne.

When we got back to the room, Michelle looked up at us with the most serious baby blue eyed look I have ever seen. She proudly announced; “It’s okay for you two to sleep together now. I’m a big girl and can sleep in the other room all by myself.” We all burst out laughing.

A year later, we brought Brian Severin into the world. We picked the name Brian so his initials would be B.S. as he had given Janet so much hell during the pregnancy and delivery. This is of course a family secret, never to be shared with Brian in particular. Yuk, Yuk. We were now a family. I was so deeply in love by now, I though nothing could shake me. I was wrong again.

Life was grand. We were a happy family with all the love we could split four ways. The only shadow to our grand circus was that after Brian’s birth the doctors told us that my wife had suffered some internal damage during the birthing process they had to correct surgically leaving Janet unable to conceive and carry another baby.

We were a real pair of work horses at our business. Janet still did the books, but we decided to hire a CFO anyway to do financial analysis. Janet didn’t feel she was qualified to do that kind of work.

Of course we went back to our old friends at Solvang and Associates. It was just like going back home. Actually it was Dan Solvang himself we hired. He sold out his company and its name to his employees and joined us in semi-retirement just doing our financial analysis. Dan was set for life with the sale of his company and enjoyed doing the analysis when he chose and golfing when he chose.

Michelle had graduated from UCLA with a major in business and also joined our firm as a junior partner. She was now in charge of all the humdrum nuts and bolts of the company. I expected one day soon Janet and I would retire and leave the company to her and Brian.

In the meantime Michelle had snuck around the production floor long enough to find herself a husband too. Her man was Ronald Tanner, one of my brightest and most dedicated engineers. They made a perfect couple and between them they could handle the company competently and easily.

Brian was at USC working on his Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering and doing really well.

I had to take a trip to Israel to set up a deal that would put our company on a permanent positive cash flow situation. Yes, life was good.

Well good until my cell phone rang. It was Janet. Her message was simple. “Don, please come home as soon as you can. We need to talk.” I started to ask what was up but thought better of it considering how many divorce stories seemed to start that way.

I could not have been more wrong. I was met at LAX by Michelle and her husband, Ron. Michelle told me that we would have to be patient. Her mom had told her nothing except to pick me up at the airport and bring me home nothing more.

When we got home, after picking up my bags off the carousel, we were still as much in the dark as ever. The three of us had openly speculated about what was up during the entire trip out to the valley.

Once we got home the mystery deepened. Brian was also home being a typical college truant. He was caught red-handed munching on a plate of cold chicken wing his mom kept hand in the fridge even though Brian didn’t even live at home any more.

As soon as we were all assembled, Janet made her show and hustled us all into the living room for a family conference. We all sat. I noticed that Janet had rearranged the furniture a bit so theat my wing back recliner was in front of the fireplace and facing the center of the room.

Janet sat herself in that chair, not bothering to kick it out into the recliner position. We all sort of knew that whatever was going to be said was going to change our lives. Little did we know.

Janet started, “You all know how much I love each and every one of you. So, I think it’s time you started to get ready to say good bye to me.” You could have heard a pin drop on the carpet it was so quiet.

She continued, “ I have been diagnosed with level 4 ovarian cancer. Don’t bother talking about second opinions and treatment options. I’ve had second and third opinions done with all the lab work, pokes and prods the medical arts know. The prognosis is that I have two to three months left with my family.”

Janet looked us all in the eyes and told us that it was her wish to be at home with her family for her remaining time. We agreed.

Michelle and Ron also had an announcement. In light of all that gloom, Michelle shared that fact that Janet was to be a grandma, and tears flowed down her cheeks realizing she had little chance of being there for the baby’s arrival.

Michelle and Ron then left to go home and close their apartment for the time being and move back in our home until it was over.

Brian did the same, he informed his counselor/mentor that he needed to move home for the time being and he would get his work done from here. Once the situation was explained the university agreed that he could telecommute. Brian would be home every day, all day, for his mom as well. He would just have to sequester himself in my office a few hours a day to keep up his studies and readings.

I had a meeting with Michelle, Ron and all of my department heads. I couldn’t talk, tears were running down my cheeks despite my best efforts. We informed them that I would be in on Mondays and Fridays, Michelle would be here in the morning of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Fridays which were her busiest. Ron would come in every day all week and be on call 24/7 otherwise for problems.

Everyone offered their condolences and offered their best and prayers. We three then headed home together to face the future.

I wasn’t long before the master bedroom was converted into a hospital room for Janet. I hired a full time staff of nurses to be there for her all day and all night. A twin bed was brought in from Michelle’s old room for the night nurse.

The end thankfully came quicker than anyone expected. Janet’s pain went through the roof just a few weeks after her announcement. The doctor put her on pain medication and steadily increased the dosages as her pain grew.

It was Saturday morning when the nurse on duty called me on my cell. She was really upset and asked us all to come up quickly, she felt the end was near and she had also called the doctor.

The four of us literally vaulted up the stairs to the master bedroom. Janet lay there looking weaker and paler than I had ever seen my wife. I knew the time had come. Her breathing was labored and came only in small shallow gasps. I had no choice. I took Janet in my arms and even though it upset all the tubes and wires running into her now fragile body. I held her close to me as she spoke her last words. “I love you Don. Take care of yourself.”

She was gone. I was alone again.