Sometimes love hits unexpectedly. Sometimes it hits when you know it shouldn’t, and you must abstain. Sometimes you try all you can to abstain, but one moment of desire and weakness shifts everything. Then after that moment of weakness, you pick up the pieces and move forward.

I was excited to meet you for the first time. I knew my feelings for you were strong already, but I was able to contain them after all these years already – this would be no different. I was levelheaded and strong. I knew I could control my desires and the flame that burned stronger every time I talked to you. You were a wonderful friend and confidant, and I would not compromise that friendship. Our lives were very much separate, and we would never be able to make a relationship work due to living so far from each other and neither of us being willing to uproot ourselves. As much as I wanted you, I knew it could never happen.

You were my pen pal for many years, living overseas from me, and you happened to be charting through my territory to visit the US for the first time. Your last stop was to see me before going back home. “I’m saving the best for last,” you wrote to me, and I remember smiling at my screen.

While I waited for you at the coffee shop, I remember my legs nervously shaking beneath the table, and my head shooting upward to look at the entrance whenever I heard the jingle of the bell. When it was not you walking in, I’d look back down at my phone to see if you messaged me for help locating the shop. I remember the last jingle my mind registered. I looked up, and my breath hitched when I finally saw you walking in—eyes already set on me with a slight smirk on your face.

I slowly rose and took a small step toward you as you took several long strides. Your hug enveloped me, and I remember you smelling like cinnamon. I felt like crying from the overwhelming surge of emotion of finally being able to touch you.

The time went by quickly. We sat and enjoyed our coffee and pastries. Your laugh was like music to my ears, and every time you smiled, I felt my heart beat faster. You were so intimately close, our knees would touch, you would put your hand on my shoulder, you would move your seat closer. I couldn’t get enough of you.

After the shop, you invited me to your hotel room to give me a gift that you had brought me from your hometown. This was where I knew I had to maintain my strength and abstain, abstain, abstain. You made my head buzz, and the desire was making me delirious.

Your room was tidy, and the bed was freshly made from housekeeping. Or did you make it yourself? I will never know. You handed me but a simple gift, the fridge magnet that had your country’s name on it that I had been asking you to get me for years, but you insisted you wanted to personally hand it to me one day. The day had finally arrived.

The sun was setting outside, and you said we could relax in the room and keep chatting before you’d take me back home. I agreed, and I sat on the armchair next to the bed you sprawled yourself out on. You were on your back staring at the ceiling chatting with me when I noticed your eyes drooping and your responses becoming softer and softer. Soon, your breathing became rhythmic, and I saw you had fallen asleep.

I sat back in the chair for a few moments, listening to your breathing and wondering what my next move would be. I decided to turn off the lamp above you and make my way home for the night. We had until the next evening before you had to leave to go back to your country, and you needed the proper rest for it.

I quietly moved from the chair and reached over you as you slept, putting my hand on the lamp’s knob to click it off. As I did so, I felt your hand wrap around my wrist, and I looked down at you. Your eyes were open, your breathing ragged. There was a spark in your eye, the smirk you had was not there and was replaced with a serious desire that overtook me.

I stared down at you, frozen in place, and that was the moment I knew I lost my own game. I let go of the lamp, its soft glow still falling over us - I lowered myself toward you and your lips were soon capturing mine. It was heated passion, and we unfolded quickly. Our tongues delicately danced together as you flipped yourself over to be on top of me. Your hands gently moved to my skirt, and I raised my body to allow you access to slide it down.

Soon, your mouth was slowly moving down my body, suckling at my neck, moving lower, raising my blouse and wrapping around my nipples, making me cry out with pleasure. Your journey downward was not complete, and you continued. Kissing down my belly until you were low enough to prop my legs on your shoulders. I gripped the sheets at first, and I cried out as you started nibbling at my inner thighs. I was holding my breath and tensed up as I waited for you to finish your slow teasing.

You finished your teasing, and soon I felt your mouth right on my core. I cried out again as your tongue gently danced between my lips, and my hands soon moved from gripping the sheets to intertwining in your hair, holding you in place as I moved my body against your warm mouth. You held me in place as my body jerked, begging for more. You did not ease up and stared up at me as my mouth was agape from pleasure and as you finally took me over the edge.

My body was shaking as the convulsions rolled through me, and you moved back up to kiss me again, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down while doing so. I looked down and saw how hard you were for the first time. My body was still on fire for you, and I wanted to be filled.

You kissed and nibbled on my neck, assuring me you would take care of me. I called for more, and that was when I felt your hardness at my entrance, and I spread my legs for you to grant more access. You moved slowly; I was holding my breath again as you moved inside, and my arms were wrapped around your neck. You made sure I was looking directly into your eyes as you pushed, and when you were fully inside, your tongue invaded my mouth again.

Tears flooded my eyes from the sensation, and you rhythmically began moving your hips, in and out, in and out. My nails dug into your back as you quickened the pace and soon, I was whimpering your name from the pleasure. I felt your body tense and you held firmly onto my hips before finally having your own release.

I stayed in your room the whole night, and we did not sleep much. By the time we fell asleep, the sun was already gently lighting up the sky. We slept until your alarm went off, indicating it was time for your departure to the airport.

I helped you pack up what you needed, and I was your ride there. Before going through security, you wrapped me in one more large hug, reminding me of how thankful you were for finally being able to meet me.

After a departing kiss on the cheek, I walked back to my car, flushed from the memories of the night and the fire still ignited in my belly. There would be pieces left to pick up, but if I had another night with you, I knew I would continue wanting to make more of those pieces.