Being a firefighter is a tough, demanding job. It is tough and demanding on the firefighter himself, but it is also tough and demanding on the firefighter’s marriage. I should know, I am the product of a marriage that did not make it.

My name is Tina, and I am sixteen years old at the time of my writing this story. My mom and dad got divorced two years ago, after fifteen years together. I live with my father because the court told me I could choose who I wanted to live with.

It wasn’t always bad–Dad told me stories about how the two of them met when they were in college. He was working at the University Fire Department and going for his degree in Fire Science. She was working as a barista in one of the school’s coffee bars while working on her own degree in childcare.

They met and fell in love, getting married soon after they graduated. Dad got a job with the city fire department here in Phoenix, Arizona, and Mom was planning on opening up a daycare center when she found out she was going to have one of her own to care for.

I remember my childhood was pretty good. Sure Dad was gone a lot at work, but I was proud of what my dad did for a living and on those times when he was home, we all enjoyed being a family. And yes, the department did take him away and he missed out on some important milestones… my first word, my first steps, and more than a couple of school plays.

But we all knew he would have been there if he could. He was there for a lot of things. He was there on my first day of school, he was there on every birthday and Christmas, and he was there to teach me how to drive. So it wasn’t like he was an absentee dad or anything. A lot of the kids I went to school with had it a lot worse.

But as time went on, I could see changes in Mom and Dad’s relationship. Mostly on Mom’s side since I spent more time with her. Dad’s absence and Mom having to deal with things began to wear on her.

She would have to deal with the bills, the servicemen, and many of the other things that most dads would take care of. She had to be both Mom and Dad for me growing up a lot of the time. And I could see how that could be tough.

But she knew what my dad was when she married him, and she knew what she was getting into. It’s not like he just all of a sudden became a firefighter… hell, he was a firefighter when she met him! And I did what I could to help out around the house. As soon as I was old enough to help, I began pitching in and doing what I could to help out.

I guess it just got to be too much for her, though. I guess she got tired of sleeping alone, and she got tired of having everything on her shoulders when Dad was gone at work.

Shortly after my 14th birthday, Dad came into my bedroom one night as he tucked me in. I always loved when he was home and would come in and tuck me into bed, kissing my forehead, and telling me how much he loved me. But this night was different. I could sense something was troubling him as he tucked my blankets in nice and tight, the way I liked them.

“Daddy, what’s wrong? You seem awful quiet tonight at dinner and even now,” I said, concerned.

“Angel, I need to tell you something…” he started. Right then I knew this was something serious, and I sat up in bed.

“What is it, Daddy? What’s wrong?” I said, scared of what could be bothering Daddy so much. My father was a big strong man and he was tough as nails. The other firefighters called him “Tink” as a nickname because our last name is Tinkerton, but everyone knew that when something needed to be done, he was the man to call to do it. So whatever this was it must be terrible to have gotten to him like this.

“Honey, your mom is leaving me. She says she wants a divorce. She says that she can’t live like this anymore. That she wants someone who can be there for here all the time, not some part-time husband. She is moving out and getting her own place until the divorce is settled,” he said.

I will never forget the look in my fathers face that night if I live to be 100 years old. Telling me this news crushed him and seemed to take the life out of him. Some of the other firefighters would tell me stories when I visited the fire station, of how Dad would kick down doors and bust through walls if he needed to get into a room to save someone.

How he could carry any one of them over his shoulder and still manage a firehose if he had to to get them out. And yet, the news of Mom wanting to leave him and get a divorce cut him down as if he had been hit by a runaway freight train.

I stared at my father for several seconds, trying to process this news. “No Daddy, please!” I cried when it finally hit me what he was saying, “Please make her stay!”

“I wish I could, honey. Your mom and I talked about this practically all night last night, but she is firm about it. She said that she can’t deal with this arrangement anymore. She said that she is tired of doing everything on her own. I guess I can’t blame her, I haven’t been much of a husband… or a father, either.”

“Daddy, you have been the best father a girl could want! You have kept food in our cupboards, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. Sure you have to work, and work takes you away from home a lot, but that’s what being a firefighter is about. You can’t very well fight fires from home, you know!” I said as I threw my arms around Daddy’s neck.

The next four or five months were tough… on everyone. Mom did move out, despite Dad and me pleading with her and trying to convince her to stay. I quickly became the ping-pong ball in the situation, bouncing between the two of them.

When Dad was home, I was with him; when he worked, I stayed with Mom. And while Dad never said a bad word about Mom, she didn’t extend him the same courtesy. I would hear about how Dad “Always left her with this crap to deal with.” As for me, I was just plain miserable. I loved them both, and I just wanted us to be a family again.

But that was just not to be, and the day I had dreaded for the past six months had finally arrived. Mom, Dad, and I met at the Maricopa County Superior Court. It was kind of appropriate that it was one of the coldest November days on record–in the low 50’s that day, gray and drizzly and a miserable day to be outdoors.

But the weather was the least of my problems that day. I could have been happy being anyplace else on earth than to be sitting there in the courthouse on that day for that reason.

The judge looked over the paperwork to make sure everything was in order. Mom sat on one side with her lawyer, and Dad sat with me on the other side. It was Dad’s time to be with me, and I had come to the courthouse with him. Besides, Mom had someone to support her, but Dad was there on his own. So I sat with him and we leaned on each other to get through this nightmare.

“Well, everything seems to be in order here. You know, this is a part of my job as district court judge that I really hate. Not only is it the end of what was once a very beautiful thing I’m sure, but it is also something that will scar and stay with this young girl for the rest of her life,” he said, pointing to me. “I do hope the two of you realize this. Divorce never is just about who can’t live with who. It always affects others as well… there is always collateral damage.”

“Yes, Your Honor,” they both said.

“Very well then, if there are no other concerns to deal with, I hereby decree you, Miss Andrews, and you Mr. Tinkerton to be divorced. Now we only have one more matter to attend to–the care of this young girl. I understand you are fourteen years old, am I right?” he asked me.

“Yes, Your Honor. I am fourteen as of last May,” I replied, very meek and very scared.

“Well according to the State of Arizona, you aren’t quite of legal age just yet. So until you reach your sixteenth birthday, there will be shared custody between both parents. I will leave up to the two of you to work out a plan that is agreeable to you both, and we will take up the custody hearing in, shall we say, two weeks?” the judge said.

“Yes, Your Honor,” Mom and Dad both said.

“Very well, until two weeks from today at this same time, the court is adjourned,” he declared with a rap of his gavel.

After court, Mom and her lawyer went off in one direction, and Dad and I went back home. It was a quiet drive home with neither of us saying anything. Dad was too torn up to talk, and I didn’t have any idea what I could possibly say to make things any better. We went home and I helped Dad to his chair. I sat him down and brought him a soda.

“Dad, you just sit here. I’ll fix us something to eat,” I told him, as I kissed him on the forehead.

“Thanks, Angel. You are a good girl,” he said, turning on the television. I went into the kitchen and put a couple of pizzas into the oven to bake while I set the table. When the pizzas were done, I called him in to eat and we ate our pizzas quietly, not saying a whole lot. Today had been a horrible day, and we just wanted to get through it as quickly as we possibly could.

I went to bed early that night, and Dad came in to tuck me in as usual. Only this wasn’t usual. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead, then turned to leave as he normally does. But he stopped after a couple of steps and came back to set on the edge of my bed.

“Honey, I am so glad you were there with me today. If it hadn’t been for your help I don’t think I would have made it through today. You were wonderful and I love you so much,” he said, taking my hand as he spoke.

My heart broke as he said this. I knew Daddy loved me–I never doubted that for a minute. But to have him say it the way he did and looking the way he looked… I knew his whole world was crumbling around him. And for as much as he did to help others in their time of need, there was nothing I could think of to make it all better for him.

It was almost six months before the next wrinkle in this story occurred. About three weeks before my fifteen birthday, I came home from school to see Dad in a rather heated argument with someone on the telephone. It didn’t take long to figure out that Mom was on the other end of this conversation.

As I walked in, Dad covered the receiver of the phone and quietly told me to go to my room for a bit. He obviously didn’t want me hearing him argue with Mom. So I went into my room and turned on my TV.

It wasn’t unusual anymore for Mom and Dad to be arguing. I had gotten used to their fighting with each other. I didn’t like it, but it was a fairly common thing since the divorce. I didn’t pay much attention to it so long as it only concerned them.

What I hated was being put in the middle of it. Dad didn’t do it, but Mom continued to rag on Dad whenever I was there with her, telling me how hard she had it thanks to him and how she had to take care of things he should be doing.

As time went on I wanted to spend more and more time with Dad. At least with him, it was fun and there was less fussing and less bad feelings. He never talked bad about Mom, he never complained about how things turned out. He just made the time we spent together as happy as he could.

This time things were a little different, though. Even through my closed door and with the T.V. going, I could hear Dad yelling at Mom. I tried shutting it out, but I also wanted to know what was going on. I had already been blindsided with the divorce, and I wasn’t going to be caught unawares again.

So I sat there with the TV between me and the bedroom door. When Dad was finished, he would come in and I would find out what this was all about.

It took about forty five minutes before it got quiet in the living room and I heard Daddy walking down the hall to my room. I shut the TV off and waited for him. The door opened and Daddy walked in quietly, pulling the desk chair up to the side of my bed and sitting down.

“What’s going on, Daddy?” I asked him bluntly “I know that was Mom on the other end of the phone. I could hear you even in here.”

“Yes Angel, that was your mother. It seems as though she has herself a new boyfriend and she was telling me she is going to be moving to Montana someplace to start a ranch or something. She was calling to tell me she is willing to grant me full custody as long as I don’t press for child support. Basically, honey, she is giving you to me and doesn’t want to be hindered with a child.”

He looked at my expression and saw something there because he took my hand and pulled me close. “I guess I can tell you now…” he started. I knew something was coming that I didn’t want to know about, so I steeled myself for what he was about to say.

“Your mother has been sleeping around for a long time–long before the divorce. She started seeing this guy named Michael for a while, then they broke up when he got a new girlfriend that didn’t have so many ‘complications’. Then she found some guy named Paul and hooked up with him for almost a year.

"But he had to leave because of a job transfer. Now there is someone named Steven that she is hanging around with. He is the guy who wants to take her to Montana, but he wants to have her to himself–without a kid hanging around to cramp his style, apparently.

"So your mother had a choice to make and decided she wanted to have fun and avoid her responsibility. I’m so sorry honey. You know I have tried not to speak ill of your mother, but this just shows you what she thinks of the two of us,” he said, looking down. He kept his head down, looking at my little hand in his.

But what Daddy didn’t realize, was that this worked out wonderfully for me! I put my other hand on top of his and he looked up at me, a little confused.

“Daddy, I am glad that Mom is going away with this other guy. It will just make what I was going to do anyway happen sooner. You see, I will be sixteen next year and the judge said on my sixteenth birthday, I would be old enough to choose who I want to live with permanently.

"Well, I was going to choose to stay here with you. I love Mom, but I can’t stand to hear how she talks about you when I am there. I am always so happy when I am here and I’m not happy when I’m with Mom. I always feel like I am in the way there, and now I guess I was.

"But her choice to move away and give me to you full time makes it so I don’t have to choose. I hope she is happy with this other guy in Montana… I am perfectly happy being here with you,” I said, as I kissed him on the cheek.

As I pulled back I saw my daddy’s eyes tear up and overflow, a single teardrop running down each cheek before he turned his head to wipe them away. He didn’t want me to see him cry, but I had already seen it many times in the last several months since the divorce. I was glad though, that this time the tears he shed were tears of happiness, instead of sorrow.

“Oh, Angel… you have been such a strong girl through all of this. I know this has been hard on you–it’s been hard on us all. I really don’t think I would have gotten through it if it hadn’t been for you honey,” he said, as he pulled me close to him. I couldn’t have been happier.

Our relationship only grew deeper and stronger from that point forward. I would help him when he was home, and on the days he had to pull duty at the station, I stayed home alone and took care of the house. We had a couple of neighbors nearby that I could go to if I needed help.

Mrs. Kramer, a very nice and very sweet older lady lived next door to us, and Mr. Collins, a man Dad’s age I guess, lived across the street. So I had plenty of people I could call if I needed something or if I had a problem at home. And of course, I always had Daddy I could call if things were really bad, but I was determined to show him I was big enough to take care of myself.

Dad and I did pretty well too, all things considered. He would go off to work for his twenty-four hour shift every other day and then after two weeks, he would have three days off in a row. It was kind of hard to understand, so he made me a wall calendar with his work shifts, which I kept on the refrigerator door. That way I would know when he was to work and when he was going to be home.

Things progressed as things do, and before long spring then summer passed and it was time to think about starting school again. Because I was held back a year in junior high, this was my year to start high school, a year later than normal. I was excited to start high school too.

I looked at it as a fresh start. Mom had left us and was living in Montana now, so it was just Dad and me, and starting high school was a good way to wash away the past and start off with a clean slate.

One night, a couple of weeks before school was to start, Dad came into my room as he did every night when he was home. He sat on my bed and I could tell he wanted to talk to me about something.

“I know your mother was looking forward to doing this with you, but she is not here anymore. So how would you like it if your old man took you shopping for some new school clothes since you are starting high school now?” he asked.

“Um… yeah sure,” I said, a bit hesitantly.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe you and I could make a day of it. Maybe go to lunch after shopping followed by a trip to the beauty salon so you could do your hair and nails… sort of a mini-spa kinda thing. What do you say, want to go on a date with your Dad?” he said, smiling broadly.

I couldn’t believe it! “Yes!! Oh Daddy, yes I would love to! Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I said, throwing myself at him so hard we both fell to the floor, laughing and giggling. I rolled up on top of him kissing his face rapid-fire until he physically lifted me up away from him.

“Okay, Okay, Okay!” he said, laughing “I get it - you’re happy! Now get off your old man before you break me!”

I got up and got back into bed so he could tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. I smiled up at him “I can hardly wait for our date!” I told him happily, and I fell into a blissful, contented sleep.

It was a few days later, the following Saturday, that was to be our “date.” I woke up that morning and almost leaped out of bed, I was so excited. Daddy was still asleep, so I went ahead and got dressed so I wouldn’t waste any time. Finally, as I waited for him downstairs, I heard him get up and go into the bathroom.

While Daddy showered, I set about starting to make breakfast. He had said he was taking us out to lunch so I knew I didn’t have to make anything too elaborate, but I still wanted to show him I appreciated this day with him and show him I could take care of things.

So I made us some eggs, toast, fresh-squeezed orange juice and bacon. Daddy likes his bacon a bit on the soft side, while I like mine crispy. I had just finished setting the table when Dad came around the corner.

“Something sure smells good!” he said.

“Yep, I made us some breakfast. Sit down and I’ll serve it up for you,” I said smiling. Dad and I ate our breakfast and I couldn’t quit grinning… today was going to be one of those days a girl remembers for her whole life!

As soon as breakfast was done I went to put the dishes in the dishwasher. “Forget the dishes for now, honey. I know how anxious you are to get going, so you run upstairs and get yourself all dolled up for our date. I’ll take care of these dishes,” he said giving me a playful swat on the butt. I gasped and then turned to give him a flirty little smile and then ran up the stairs as quick as I could.

I came back down about ten minutes later. I had gotten dressed in my mid-thigh length, off the shoulder style, black dress with lace around the neckline and around the bottom hem. It was very loose and flowing from the waist down and it made me feel very grown up and sexy while making Daddy happy that I wasn’t too provocative!

I was also wearing a pair of strappy six-inch heeled dress sandals. As I came into the living room where Daddy was waiting for me, I saw his eyes widen and his jaw drop.

“I’m ready Daddy!” I chimed. But he just stood there not able to move or speak. I thought he might make me go change into something not quite so grown-up.

“Don’t you like my outfit Daddy?” I asked him.

“I’m sorry for staring, honey, but you look so… beautiful! I guess I just never realized how big my ‘little girl’ was getting!” he said when he finally found his voice. Of course, that was the perfect thing to say at that moment!

“Thank you, Daddy. I was afraid you wouldn’t like it since it is a bit grown up,” I said.

“Well, no Daddy likes to see his baby girl grow up. It makes us feel old and worn out. But it is nice to see that you have turned into such a beautiful young woman. At least I have that,” he told me.

“Oh Daddy, you aren’t old or worn out! You are still just as handsome as you’ve ever been!” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek.

“Thanks, sweetheart, I’m glad you think so. Now are you ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” I said. He offered me his arm and I slid mine inside and we left for our date.