Dear Derek,
I have not stopped thinking about you since you left—I hate to be apart from you. The time we spent together was euphoric and being without you now seems positively ordinary. You are the kindest, most generous, most wonderful person I have met in all my life and, while it pained me to watch you go, I am grateful every day that you came into my life. I’ve never been a believer in Fate, but I can’t help feel that it was more than a lucky coincidence that you stopped that day.
***
It was the height of summer when Derek happened upon Lyndsey hitching in the middle of nowhere. He had been driving home after a weekend visiting his friends out of state, and almost didn’t see the desperate-looking woman with her thumb out as he raced along the rural road. Though he wasn’t usually one to pick up hitch-hikers, he hadn’t seen a car himself for almost an hour, and the heat must have been unbearable for her.
In a split-moment decision, he jumped on the brakes and stopped around a hundred yards past where she had been standing. He watched her in his side mirror as she hurried towards the car; her face would have been pretty were it not wracked with exhaustion and defeat. There were no nearby towns so she must have been walking in the baking sun for hours. As she approached the car, Derek cranked up the AC and turned off the ‘Summer Jams 2006’ mixtape he had been blaring.
She leaned into the passenger window, strands of her long blonde hair sticking to her sweaty forehead, and attempted a smile, though it was clear that all the joy had been drained from her. “You headin’ to Gainesville?” she asked.
They were still a long way from Gainesville, but he would have driven this poor girl to Mexico had she asked in such a pitiable voice. “Sure, hop in.”
All she had with her was a small rucksack which she tossed in the messy back seat of his car. She heaved a sigh of relief as she plunked herself down beside Derek and was blasted by some cool air. As they drove on in silence for a few minutes, he felt strongly that he wanted to put her at ease. Sadly, Derek was all too aware that it wasn’t always safe for an attractive young woman to hitch a ride with a strange man, and he didn’t want her to question his motives for stopping.
She was clearly in a dire situation, and he was very conscious that he didn’t want to say anything that might make her feel uncomfortable, and he was hesitant even to look at her for fear she might think he was ogling or objectifying her. The atmosphere and Derek grew tenser by the second.
It was her that eventually broke the silence. “You got anything to drink? I’m parched.”
“I’ll bet,” he said as he reached for the water bottle he kept in the side of the door. “How long were you out in that heat?”
“I dunno, maybe two hours?” She took a large, much-needed gulp and offered the bottle back to Derek.
“You can finish it; you’re probably dehydrated.”
She thanked him and took another even larger gulp, and the silence started to creep back in.
“I’m Derek, by the way.” He figured she might not want to be asked too many questions—it didn’t seem very likely that the story of how she had ended up in his car was a particularly happy one.
“Lyndsey.” She managed the smile this time, and it was a beautiful one, the kind that provokes an involuntary smile from those who see it.
***
I can still remember the first time you smiled at me in that car, and I felt so sure you were someone I could trust. And then when you started singing along with Beyoncé, I knew you were someone I could be friends with. I never thought much about it at the time, but I was so lucky that it was you that picked me up and not some creep. You made me feel safe, and you have every moment since. The best decision I ever made was to not let you disappear from my life after that car journey.
***
“Well, this is me,” she said, looking out at the tall apartment block where her friend lived. She seemed reluctant to leave the car and, having bonded with her for the last two hours, Derek wasn’t very keen to see her go either.
“Take care of yourself,” he said to fill the silent pause, “And don’t let me find you hitch-hiking in the middle of nowhere again, you hear?”
She turned to him smiling—that beautiful, contagious smile—and reached out to grab his hand. She scribbled something on it then opened the car door. “Let me take you for a coffee some time, as a thank you.”
He looked down to see Lyndsey’s number scrawled on the palm of his hand, and when he looked back up she had gone, rucksack and all.
The next two days were spent agonising about whether to call her. He was torn between letting himself believe that she wouldn’t have given him her number if she didn’t want him to use it, and convincing himself that she was just being nice. Then he would think of her smile and be overcome with the urge to see her again.
Having finally built up the nerve, he went to lift up the receiver, but before he could do so it began to ring. Startled, he let it ring for a few seconds before answering.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Derek?”
He knew the voice instantly, but how had Lyndsey gotten his number? He was unnerved by the timing, but at the same time his heart leapt to speak to her again.
“Lyndsey? How did you—“
“Well, it turns out there are three guys called Derek Short in Gainesville, and it would seem that third time really is the charm.”
“I’m sure you’ll be the first item on the agenda at our next weekly meeting.”
Her laugh was to his ears as her smile was to his eyes. Where he had sat tense, ready to make the call, he now relaxed into a conversation with a woman he could have known for years.
“Is everything alright?” he asked, suddenly aware that she might not be calling him for the same reason he was calling her.
She hesitated before answering with a hint of embarrassment in her voice. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to call and… I really wanted to take you for that coffee so I… kind of tracked you down. Sorry, I know that’s kind of… weird.”
“Well, you probably won’t believe me,” he replied, laughing inwardly at how ridiculous it sounded, “But I was literally just about to call you.”
He heard her smile again. “You’re right, I don’t believe you. But does that mean you’ll still come for coffee?”
They met an hour later at a Starbucks downtown, both looking sufficiently awkward about the whole thing. On seeing her, Derek didn’t know whether to shake her hand, or hug her, or kiss her on the cheek, and so opted to shuffle his feet and nod in acknowledgement of her presence. Lyndsey, too, seemed nervous to see him again, stumbling over her words and tripping over her seat.
Alas, as with their car trip, the awkwardness quickly dissipated, and they spent another two hours in each other’s company that didn’t feel like enough. As they stood to leave, she hugged him and said quietly in his ear, “You call me next time.”
“I will. Trust me.”
“I do.”
***
I couldn't wait for you to call. It took all my willpower not to call you, even that same evening, but I didn’t want you to think I was some clingy weirdo. I just knew I wanted to be around you. I knew that I was starting to fall for you then, and I was starting to understand that you were everything I wanted and needed in my life.
All of this was confirmed the first night we spent together. Although I kept telling myself that only fools rush in, that was the night that I fell in love with you, the night I knew you were the person I wanted to spend every night with. You were such a gentleman, and I saw what a beautiful soul you have.
***
It was the perfect summer evening when Derek and Lyndsey walked through the city streets hand-in-hand, bathed in moonlight and enjoying the warm, gentle breeze. They had decided to walk home rather than take a cab, keen to prolong their time together beyond their staple two hours. There was no awkwardness now, only the gradual realisation that they were meant for one another.
At times they talked, about themselves, about the world, and at other times they savoured the idyllic silence between them. They strolled in the vague direction of home, not really caring if they ever got there, it seemed.
“You’re down this way,” Derek said as they arrived at a junction, “I’ll walk you to your door.” It was quite a detour for him to do so, but he knew it would be well worth the extra ten minutes of holding her hand.
Lyndsey looked at him with something like sadness in her eyes. She stopped and turned to him, taking his other hand in hers. He loved her then, though he was too afraid to admit it—how could he love a woman he’d scarcely known a week? And yet he did, and were her apartment even a thousand miles away, they would say goodbye too soon.
“It still early,” she said, her fingers intertwining with his, “We could… hang out at your place for a while.”
With the low summer sun behind her, she seemed to glow and, as the city melted away around them, he pushed his fingers through her hair and drew her lips to his. He hadn’t known he was going to kiss her until the instant their lips touched, an uncharacteristic spontaneity that would become increasingly common when he was around her.
“Sorry, I didn’t… I don’t…” He faltered, surprised at his impulsive behaviour, and tried to release her hand from his, but she clasped it tighter.
“Don’t apologise. Come on.” She tugged at his arm, pulling him in the direction of his apartment.
They shared a bottle of red wine and let the hours slip away as they talked and kissed and laughed and fell ever more deeply in love with one another. At around midnight, Lyndsey reluctantly broke their unspoken agreement to not acknowledge how late it was getting. “I should probably get going; let you get some sleep.”
“Yeah,” Derek replied, trying to mask his disappointment, “I’ll call you a cab.” He wanted nothing more than to ask her to stay, if only to look at her for even five more minutes, but he lacked the courage. It would be improper, he told himself, to propose that she spend the night so early in their relationship, and yet the overwhelming love he felt for her had begun to diminish his sense of propriety.
“Or…” she began, her cheeks blushing an adorable shade of red. “I could stay... if that wouldn’t be an impo—“
“Yes, stay,” Derek replied more eagerly than he had intended, though less eagerly than he truly felt. She beamed momentarily before this time pulling him into a passionate kiss.
“You can take my bed, and I’ll take the couch.” He stood to fetch a blanket, flustered at suddenly having a house-guest and being so unprepared. Lyndsey never let go of his hand and laughed as she stood with him, kissing his lips softly once more.
“No,” was all she said as she led him by the hand for the second time that night, this time to his bedroom. Once there she slowly started to undress him, running her hand over his torso as she lifted his shirt over his head. All at once he was consumed with his desire for her and gave himself to what he would later consider the most erotic and sensual encounter of his life.
Kissing her neck, he began to remove her clothing too and let his hands explore her gentle curves. Their bodies moved against one another in perfect synchronicity, each responding to the subtle touches of the other. Soon they found themselves naked, bared to each other in a most intimate way, entranced in the newness of their love.
Where physical closeness had in the past caused Derek a good deal of anxiety, being with Lyndsey felt as natural as breathing, and he knew immediately there was something special, something spectacular, about their union. They shared in previously unknown ecstasy that night, and holding her in his arms, he was sure that no feeling would again compare.
***
The weeks we had together were indescribably wonderful. I wanted to be with you every second, to make love, or to hold your hand, or simply to look into your eyes. You made me feel beautiful, inside and out, and you empowered me to stop cowering away from becoming the person I want to be. I want to be that person with you at my side, until the end of time.
Our time together was cut much too short. It broke my heart when you told me you were leaving—I was angry, not with you but with the timing of the whole thing. I wanted so much to drop everything and go with you, but you were right to make me stay. Thank you for being strong, for both of us.
***
“I want you to, believe me I do, but you can’t leave her while she’s like this.” Derek hated his own moral compass sometimes, especially when following it meant putting a whole country between him and Lyndsey. Alas, he knew she was needed more in Gainesville, at least for now, and his short-term pain would be worth it in the long run.
Tears filled her eyes, but she knew he was right. “I’ll come as soon as I can, I promise.” She wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest as he stroked her hair. It seemed so unfair to him, so unjust, that they should be separated almost as soon as they had found each other, and he had no way of knowing if it would be a week, a month or a year before he would hold her again.
His flight to Oregon would be the next day; he could not delay. They spent that night together, as they had almost every night since the first. They lay in bed, his body enveloping hers, with her head pressed against his bare chest to listen to the beat of his heart. They had forged, in just a few short weeks, an indelible connection of body and mind; they did not know they were incomplete, until they discovered each other.
They departed early for the airport, chatting in the car with a facade of normality, while they both quietly dreaded the moment of goodbye they knew would come. She waited with him until he could not remain a second longer, not willing to relinquish even the tiniest amount of time that they could have together. He kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears on her lips, and they looked silently at each other for a second before he turned and left, for there was nothing either could say that would ease their sorrow.
Derek would return to Gainesville only once more in his life, when his hair was greyer and much thinner. He would stand at the junction where he first kissed Lyndsey and feel a warm summer’s breeze on his face again. And he would fall in love with her all over again.
***
It has already been far too long, and Gainesville has been a lonely place without you. I’m finally in a position to make my way to you, though I don’t know how long that will take. Just know and believe, my love, that I am on my way.
With more love than you can fathom,
Lyndsey
***
Derek folded the letter and placed it back in his breast pocket, where he had kept it since it was delivered. He had read it every day for a week, often multiple times, but there was no sign of Lyndsey, and no way to contact her. He didn’t know how she was getting to Oregon, or if she was safe. All he could do was hold on to hope and believe, as she instructed him to do, that she was on her way.
The automatic doors of the hospital closed behind him and he took a deep breath of cool air. He was tired; he had been tired since he got back, not least because of the sleepless nights he spent missing the feeling of Lyndsey’s body against his. He was tired of the white walls and sterile smell of the hospital, and he was tired of the rain and the seemingly perpetual dampness of his clothes.
As he drove home, he admired the gorgeous oranges and yellows of the trees, readying themselves for winter. He knew Lyndsey would love Oregon in the fall, too; he only hoped that she got here before it was over. “She will be,” he said aloud, smiling at the thought of spending their first Thanksgiving together.
He had imagined, in the time they had been apart, many of the firsts they would have together. First Christmas; first vacation together; first home; first child. He envisaged a magnificent future together, and he was impatient to start it. “Just keep believing—she’s on her way.”
It is difficult to accurately describe the euphoria Derek felt when he pulled into his driveway to see someone sitting on his porch. There, at the door of his childhood home, was the woman he loved more than anything in this world, smiling just as beautifully as the day he picked her up from the side of the road.
He jumped from the car and ran to her, scooping her up in his arms and kissing her lips as he had ached to do for so long. Lyndsey held on to him so tightly that he thought she might never let him go, which would have been fine by him. At length he released her and he looked at her, taking in her beauty that he had so dearly missed.
“You’re here,” he said, almost in disbelief.
“I’m here,” she said, smiling her beautiful smile.
