“Please come home John... I miss you. I miss us. I’ll accept your punishment, I’ll submit to you. Just please come home.”

He sighed, put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. 

“Abigail, go home. This isn’t the place.” 

I tried to look away again, but he wouldn’t let me. I closed my eyes as a tear trickled down my cheek. 

“Damnit Abigail look at me.” I opened my eyes

“Please John, I-“

He gripped my chin and tilted it up further, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“Abigail, go straight home and lock the door. There’s going to be trouble tonight and I can’t be distracted with you. I will come home to you and then you can be damn sure we’ll finish this conversation. But right now Jake is taking you home. And Abigail? Stay. Home.”

His voice was fierce, and I looked around seeing for the first time the extra men with badges and their guns. I noticed the air in the office was tense, and they were all waiting on John. 

“Jake!” I jumped as he hollered for one of his deputies. “Get Abigail home and make sure she stays there, understand me?” 

Turning back to me, “Abigail, I’m serious. If you don’t stay home tonight God as my witness...”

“I’ll stay home John," I whispered. 

I turned to Jake, barely 18 and the newest and youngest deputy led me from the sheriffs office and into the evening air. 

“Jake... what’s going on?” I asked the young man. He grunted something about John not wanting me to know in return. 

“Jake Matthews you tell me right now or I’m turning right back around!”

He sighed. 

“Sheriff got word there was going to be trouble at the train station tonight. He said something about the outlaws from down south heading this way. Source said they planned to disembark and try and keep heading further north to the border. Guess we’ll find out in an hour or two when the train comes in.” 

I pulled my coat closer against the winter air. Taking a deep breath I steadied myself as we walked the quarter mile to our home turning over in my mind the events of the past week. I knew I had thrown down the gauntlet with John when I told him to sleep somewhere else.

I knew behind that calmness as he collected his things and told me he’d be at the office, that he was more than willing to wait this out. It was always my choice. Him, and what he offered was always my choice. But in denying him, it was denying myself all of him.

Damnit if he wasn’t an all or nothing man. I loved and hated that about him. He demanded everything, and he gave everything. I knew in going to him tonight, I would be in a sense telling him that I was conceding. Could I submit to him wholly? I wanted to. I was afraid though. Of what, I wasn’t sure I wanted to open that door yet.  All I know is what I needed to do to have him back home was to tell him I would. And I would try. I’d die trying...

“Ma’am? Do you have your key? Sheriff won’t be happy with us standing outside right now, things as they are.” 

“It’s open Jake, come in. I assume John meant for you to stay?”

“Yes ma’am. But just inside the door. I want to check your back door and windows too.” 

We went inside, and Jake checked the locks, before settling on the bench at the front door. 

“Jake, I’m just going to go upstairs. Will you just... if John... um. I’ll be upstairs. Ok. Goodnight.”

Feeling like an idiot I turned toward the stairs. 

“Mrs. Sloan? I’ll let him know... where you are, I mean.”

I nodded to him, and turned to the stairs lifting my skirts I walked towards our bedroom.

Wondering if John would be home tonight, I unbuttoned my cream shirt with little red flowers on it and pulled it from my deep maroon skirt. Unbuttoning my skirt I let it fall to the floor and kicked it aside. Pulling the shirt off and tossing it in the same pile I sat and unbuttoned my shoes and pulled my stockings off.

Standing I began pulled the hairpins out and sighed in relief as the weight of my almost black hair bounced down around my shoulders to my waist in waves. Standing in my shimmy I turned towards the dresser to grab my nightgown. Deep in thought, I didn’t hear the approaching footsteps. Fingers brushed my hair aside skimming my shoulders, jumping aside I turned. 

“John... I thought you’d be longer, Jake said-“

“Shh, Abigail it’s fine tonight. Jake’s gone. Come here.” Opening his arms to me. 

Spoken softly, a command nonetheless. I stepped towards him. Hesitantly. I was glad he was home, but at what cost?

I stepped into his embrace, resting my check on his chest my arms around his waist. I felt him kiss the top of my head, his hands on my back holding me to him, pressing my body into his. I felt him weave his fingers through my hair pulling my head back, his other hand palming my cheek. His blue eyes staring into my green, my eyes started to tear up and I tried to look away.

He brought his other hand up to my opposite cheek and held me there. He lowered his lips to mine, kissing me gently. Firmly. Sweetly. My hands tightened into his shirt beneath his wool coat. One of his hands slipped down to my throat and around my neck. His lips parted trying to deepen our kiss. I opened for him. My tongue tasting his tongue, caressing each other. Breathing for each other. I pulled him closer, arching my body into his. His tongue exploring my own, his lips pressing against mine, pulling back and biting down on my lower lip, then licking it tenderly.

Fusing our lips back together again he walked me backwards towards the bed, as my the back of my knees hit the mattress he lifted me up, following me down. One leg between mine and the other still on the floor. Lifting up, he pulled his coat off, followed quickly by his shirt. I reached a hand up, placing it on his chest, running my fingers across his chest and down his abdomen, stopping above his belted jeans. He reached down and grabbed the hem of my slip, pulling it up as I lifted my bottom for him and then my shoulders as he pulled it from my body leaving me naked under his gaze. His eyes locked with mine as he stood, and quickly removed his boots, and unbuckled his belt. 

I sat up, pulling my knees up slightly in front of me. 

“John? This... you... I... I’m scared. I don’t know what to do or how, what I should do...”

I lifted my hand helplessly and let it drop. I lowered my eyes to the mattress.

“I want to please you, I want you... but your so much, you want so much I’m scared I won’t-“

“Abigail. Love.” 

I heard him sigh, and heard his jeans hit to floor. A drawer opened and shut. My robe appeared in my lap. I looked up at him questioningly, he had pulled on a pair of flannel pants. 

“Put that on, we’re not having this conversation naked.” 

He sat on the bed, his back against the head board. I stood to wrap my green flannel robe around myself, and he patted the space between his legs. I sat and he pulled me to him, my back to his chest, he buried his face in my hair his arms around me. I could feel his manhood pressing against my bottom and shifted against it. John groaned lightly, nuzzling me more.

"If you keep doing that this conversation is going to be very short. And it needs to happen, I won’t have you scared of me, not here in this bed not ever. You need to understand some things. I know we got married quickly, and it’s only been a few weeks. We still have a lot to learn about each other, we have a lot to teach one another. But I’ll be damned if you’re ever scared of me Abigail.” 

I relaxed in his arms, and laid my back against his shoulder. 

“I’m not scared of you John. I know you care. I’m scared of how you make me feel and what you make me want. I’m scared of my own feelings for you, I don’t understand them and I don’t really understand what you want from me."

“Shhh silly girl. Care for you? Yes, but I love you more than I love myself. I would die for you. I have never felt this way about another woman before. You drive me crazy Abigail. And what I want from you is simple. I want your obedience, your submission to me in all things. I’m a controlling asshole, and I like dominance. It’s who I am. I want to take care of you, give you things, protect you. All I want from you is your submission. Let me make the decisions, in all things. Especially in this room.”

I had shifted to tilt my head to the side to look at him while he spoke. Taking in his tanned face, his blue eyes shifted to mine. His dark blond hair mussed from the day, he dragged a hand through it as he finished. 

“It sounds like you want me to give up everything,” I murmured. “It sounds so simple, but before you spoke of punishments and things that bewilder and scare me. You know you’re the only man I’ve ever...“

I stopped as I felt the blush creep from my cheeks down my neck. 

“I know that, and I treasure that. It would drive me crazy knowing you’d been with another man in this tiny town. I love that I’m your only, that I get to teach you how to please me, how to be pleased and how to please yourself” 

Grinned as I blushed again.

“I love your innocence, it’s a turn on. And for all the things I want to teach you I hope you still blush when I talk about the ways I want you. But let me tell you this. For all the control I have, it’s you, my love who has the most. If we’re doing something and you don’t like it, for any reason all you have to do is tell me to stop, and immediately it stops. Period. We discuss why you didn’t like it, and either continue or I switch gears and we just make love. You hold the power to stop everything immediately with one simple word. If you’re scared I’m going to consume you? I will, absolutely. But I don’t want a machine. I want my wife to be willing and ready for me, to want to follow my commands because it pleases me. To trust me enough to get us both where we want and need to be. It takes a strong woman to gift her submission to a man.”

I was silent for a moment. Turning his words over in my head. 

“But where does punishment fit into this? Will the threat of it always be hanging over my head? For what? For a misconceived wrong because you had a bad day? John, I’ve never been hit in my life and the thought of you hitting me scares the daylights out of me.”

I felt him take a deep breath, his exhale tickling my ear. 

“Yes, there will be punishments. I have rules, Abigail. It’s how I am, it’s how I know to keep you safe. But Love, you will come to adore my punishments, they will bring you pleasure through the bits of pain. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure, and I intend to well acquaint you with it.”

His arms tightened around me and he lowered his lips to mine, gently opening them with his tongue, tenderly kissing me breathless. He pulled back and looked at me. 

“My rules are simple. First, do what I tell you to do, in and out of the house. Second, whenever we talk or argue it’s like this. You won’t put distance between us again, I will be holding you while we sort out whatever we need to. Third, if you leave I want to know where you’re going. You have to pass the office anywhere you go in town. And finally, don’t encourage other men. You are mine, and I won’t tolerate flirting or touching another man. Break those rules, and there will be punishments. But like I said before, there is a fine line between pain and pleasure and rarely will it ever not be about your pleasure. My life revolves around your pleasure.” 

I ducked my head into his chest. His rules weren’t unreasonable were they? And I’d already promised to obey. Although I’m betting the good reverend who married us had this in mind. I smiled. 

“Care to share that thought of yours?”

“Just that I’m not sure Reverend Thomas had this in mind when I gave you my vow to obey when we got married.”

He let out a loud laugh, once again pressing a kiss to the top of my head. 

“No. Probably not.”

We sat together in silence for a moment before he shifted me so that I was looking at him again.

“One more thing, Abigail. This last week will not happen again. You won’t give me orders, and I sure as hell won’t be sleeping in the damn office anymore. You have an issue with me, we deal with it head on, immediately. That being said. Now that we’ve talked, what you told me in my office, about submitting and accepting my punishments, is that still true? Will you give me your submission?”

I closed my eyes, knowing he wanted an answer. Knowing what I wanted, and still being scared about reaching out for it. Knowing that with a few words I would change the course of our marriage, and I wasn’t sure if I was as strong as he gave me credit for. We’d only been married a few weeks, we met a few weeks before that, when he accepted the job as sheriff and moved from another state. I knew this man loved me fiercely. And I loved him with an intensity to match. Would we burn each other up or would it be a constant smolder that lasted? 

“Eyes Abigail. Open your eyes, I need to see what you’re thinking.”

I opened my eyes and met his. He face softened at what he saw. He kissed my forehead and then my lips. Shifting me he moved his lips down my jaw to my neck, to a spot he’d discovered quickly, below my ear traveling down to my shoulder. One hand holding me to him, the other one pushing the shoulder of my robe down. Kissing and nipping at my shoulders he laid me down and opened my robe all the way.

Leaving me exposed to his eyes. I moved my hands to try to cover myself, but stopped at the shaking of his head. Straddling my legs, he resumed kissing my  neck and shoulders, moving down further he kissed the side of my breasts. My heart seemed to be beating out of my chest. He must have heard it or felt it. His lips covered a nipple and his hand palmed my other breast at the same time. I stifled a groan as his lips pulled and sucked at my breast pulling it into a wet, hard peak. His fingers pulling the other one to a similar state. He switched his hand and mouth and suckled from my other breast the same way. Alternating back and forth I started to writhe beneath him. I felt him chuckle before I heard it. 

“So damn responsive. I wonder if I can make you orgasm like this...”

His lips back at my breast, I felt his teeth scraping over the now hypersensitive nub, his sucking intensified while his fingers began pinching rhythmically, becoming firmer until I felt the bite of pain when both his teeth and fingers exerted a similar force on both nipples at the same time.

“Ahh... John...”

“Shhh. I’ve got you”

He continued sucking, biting, pinching and licking. Switching every few minutes between breasts. My hips were reaching for him, softly moving to the rise and fall of the rhythm he was setting at my breasts. I felt something. A coiled spring in my depths. Every suck, bite and pinch wound it tighter. My back bowed up towards his mouth and hands. 

“Mmmm... John... I... ah!”

The spring released as he bit down harder than he had before. My eyes fluttered closed, and I shivered with small convulsions 

“Eyes Abigail. When you cum you look at me. Always.”

I opened my eyes to look at him over me. Blushing deeply. I wanted to look away, the intimacy of the moment like a blanket around us. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, and reverently. Pulling away, nuzzling at my neck, he murmured,

“Will you submit, Abigail?”

Rubbing my cheek against the top of his head I whispered 

“Yes, John. I will.”

To be continued