The gaping chasm beckons, tempting me to just lean a little,
Feel the calm from below, the chill that numbs all thoughts and feeling.
No more pain or confusion.
What a blessing, no more illusions.

The silence of emptiness creeps up through my toes,
Starves my capillaries. My skin purples, and my heart slows.
Catatonic bliss...
My tired mind craves that gift.

A familiar warmth from behind disrupts my laissez faire.
Closing my eyes, I try to shield my thoughts from your all-seeing stare,
Then your stern voice says, "No!"
"It’s not okay to let go!"

Crumpling and sobbing, falling back from the brink,
How can you grab me and force me to think?
I rage for a moment, the pain it returns,
As you hold me steady until the heat from me burns.

Out. Oh God! Just like that the blood rushes in. The pain overwhelms,
I crawl out of my skin.
"How dare you?" I scream in the mind of my minds.
I was so close to peace. My own paradise.

You say nothing, but I feel the heart in your gaze.
Your belief in my beauty is boundless,
You’re always amazed. So is another but he may be (sorry to him for this) a blip
In my story, but you’re my intravenous drip.

I rest now thinking, but not thinking too deep.
My desire for nothingness has been put to sleep.
In a flight of fickleness I flit like a feather and dance, though I know,
It’s still terrible weather and I must take my stance.

But I’m not built for sadness, so this too shall pass.
The emptiness is still there but it's not meant to last.
Your smiling voice peeks the sunlight through,
But my soul still needs sunglasses to filter. You understand…Thank you.

I’m grateful to all who force me to face the fragility of my spirit,
I lick the tears off and face my beauty. I want to wear it.
On the shoulders of giants I am learning to shine,
And grant precious gifts that blushingly border on divine.

And I delight in kind acts that few seldom know,
Thank God for you--my Mr. Heart-souls glow,
Thank God to each and every friend,
And thank God for my pure spirit that chooses light again.