Trying my hardest
Not to pour out my heart
Like hot anguish over purple stones
To tell you it’s a mistake to still love you
To say
That you’re the only one
To ever mess with my head
And my heart
To break me down
Make me cry at the ache
Of every brittle piece
Of my shattered soul
I look up at stars
Crystal specks in an indigo sky
And know
That you see the same ones
That you are
Sharing in a moment
From across a world
Feeling my heartbeat
Sharing my breath
Hearing my wish
But never able to make it real
Another place
Another time
Where dreams live
Shrouded
In a mist of haunted memories
And feelings that deceive
Like some cruel trick
That bleeds us dry
Of purpose and need
And leaves us begging
For one more chance
Just one more day
One more memory
Trying my hardest
Not to tell you what you already know
That you were my first everything
My only everything
And you pulled me apart
until I was nothing
A wisp of long forgotten dreams
A mere shadow
In the darkness of your night
And from the ashes of my charred heart
I filled my soul with sand and granite
Against ever being turned to dust again
Didn’t work
Because here I sit
Lamenting the curse
Of my stupid heart
My needy soul
And how I ache
Like a blizzards chill
To feel your lips just one more time
As if I wouldn't be unmade
Wouldn't turn to ash
In the consummation
Of such shameless perversion
Betwixt one heartbeat and the next
I die just a little bit more
Every time
Knowing that my own lack of self control
Is ultimately to blame
And so I can pretend to be alright
I will smile at the world
Until my face hurts
I will wall off my heart once more
Pour in stone and cinders
To fill the void
That takes your shape
And this time set it in cement
Because no one
Breaks my heart
Quite like you
And I'm trying so hard
Not to let you
Not to pour out my heart
Like hot anguish over purple stones
To tell you it’s a mistake to still love you
To say
That you’re the only one
To ever mess with my head
And my heart
To break me down
Make me cry at the ache
Of every brittle piece
Of my shattered soul
I look up at stars
Crystal specks in an indigo sky
And know
That you see the same ones
That you are
Sharing in a moment
From across a world
Feeling my heartbeat
Sharing my breath
Hearing my wish
But never able to make it real
Another place
Another time
Where dreams live
Shrouded
In a mist of haunted memories
And feelings that deceive
Like some cruel trick
That bleeds us dry
Of purpose and need
And leaves us begging
For one more chance
Just one more day
One more memory
Trying my hardest
Not to tell you what you already know
That you were my first everything
My only everything
And you pulled me apart
until I was nothing
A wisp of long forgotten dreams
A mere shadow
In the darkness of your night
And from the ashes of my charred heart
I filled my soul with sand and granite
Against ever being turned to dust again
Didn’t work
Because here I sit
Lamenting the curse
Of my stupid heart
My needy soul
And how I ache
Like a blizzards chill
To feel your lips just one more time
As if I wouldn't be unmade
Wouldn't turn to ash
In the consummation
Of such shameless perversion
Betwixt one heartbeat and the next
I die just a little bit more
Every time
Knowing that my own lack of self control
Is ultimately to blame
And so I can pretend to be alright
I will smile at the world
Until my face hurts
I will wall off my heart once more
Pour in stone and cinders
To fill the void
That takes your shape
And this time set it in cement
Because no one
Breaks my heart
Quite like you
And I'm trying so hard
Not to let you