I was trying to describe this to someone. 

I wanted to compare this feeling to love except I'd never use that word with you and it wasn't.

So I said to them, "Remember that Richard Brautigan story where the Kool-Aid Wino makes the drinking of a beverage a religeous experience?

"The one where he makes double from a single satchet because he knows the price and the limit but still, measured sips in quarters are better than nothing - even without sugar.

"The one where he tells his friend that putting on clothes is inevitable and endless.

"Do you remember those fat pheasants too tired to move, or too proud?"

I wanted them to know what I meant when they read that story. When they saw the deep magic in the mundane, of course only like breathing is mundane.

I wanted them to see the pride, the religeous and the inevitable. I wanted them to know the words even though I would never use them with you. 

I wanted them to feel how I felt when I knew the Kool-Aid was you and that I too would drink it daily.