Slowly I think I have begun to realize things have not all turned out like I expected or even hoped they would be. How can I feel and look so much younger than my age but my spirit feels so confined not at all free. I feel like I am growing away from everyone I hold dear. Like a new chapter in my life keeps calling me near.
All these thoughts and yearnings just don’t seem very realistic. As far fetched as they might be they just keep on churning and churning. I can’t find that balance between satisfaction and need. How do I take what I want but still be able to please? A dilemma for sure don’t know what I shall do. Thank god these hormone ridden days are usually only a few.
I can count on at least eight days per month to turn into a nympho and have excessive wants. Nothing can put out this fire in me temporary relief is all I will ever see. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Craving a hot body and a passionate kiss. Exercise seems to be my only productive vice it is making my body look pretty nice. But aerobics and weight training and all that I do just leads me straight back to my cravings that stew.
I am growing very tired my enthusiasm is draining the days are looking gray my depression is gaining. Maybe menopause will come along and turn me into a dried up old prune. Then I can stop thinking of all these sexual fantasies over which I moon. No matter what I have it is never enough these raging female hormones are so very damn tough.
I have even asked but there is no cure for me “Only time will tell” they tell me, just wait and see.