Behold six pairs of doomed lovers,
Slain by their own hands or by another.
With poison, knife, serpent and lust.
Ah! But whose marriage really went bust?
Heloise and Abelard. Both were brilliant.
He was unmanned but still proved resilient.
Paris and Helen launched ships and war
The greatestthe Bronze Age ever saw.
Antony and Cleopatra: Westwed East.
They had grand aspirations, to say the least.
Tristan and Isolde, tangled engagements
Of wedding and funeral rearrangements.
Romeo and Juliet got just as mixed up
Drinking needlessly from a poisonous cup.
Bill and Hillary were considered heart throbs.
But Bill blew it all for some lousy blow jobs.