Throughout my adulthood,
I have wondered what it would be like
To have a relationship,
To make so many lasting memories 
That we could have shared,
And pass on our experiences.

But the only problem,
Is my low confidence and self-esteem 
That every time gets in the way,
Maybe I could lose some weight
But would this still be enough,
To build my confidence.

Maybe looking back,
I could have done things differently 
And approached that girl in college,
That I sent glances in her direction  from afar 
There was one time she had noticed me,
And came over to me for a chat.

But even then I got tongue tied,
I couldn’t find the words to say
I do wish I could have overcame my shyness,
And came out of the shell I hide in
To tell her how I felt,
And taken that chance I was given.

I still regret to this day,
I let the one girl I truly loved
Slip through my grasp,
Maybe things could have different
But I will never know,
If I had never let her leave my life.

I could have shown her,
The nice guy that I can be
The one that everyone tells me that I am,
Give her everything that she wants
And kept her safe from danger,
Be her knight in shining armour.

We could have gone for romantic walks by the river,
Watched the sunset or sunrise
Gone skinny dipping in a lake,
Had a picnic in the middle of nowhere
Taken stupid risks even though we would be fine,
As we make love underneath the stars.

But all of this is a figment of my mind,
Of how everything could have been
If I had taken that step,
And overcame my fears
And went over to the one girl I loved,
To have taken that chance and asked her out.

Maybe one day my dreams will come true,
In which the girl I loved
Came into my life once again,
In which I could give her my heart
And never let leave my life again,
In which I could show her my love.

And make her feel my love.

The context of this poem is to reveal a piece of me, which I haven’t shown here on lush. In real life there is part of me that wishes that I could be able to find that special someone, that I could spend the rest of my life with. But due to my constant fears, confidence and low self-esteem. I find it hard even to let her in. I know if I could overcome all this and meet someone I know that if I do let her in, I will never let her go. This the real me and I want to let everyone know how I feel.