Let's do it with the light off, baby, please

It's so romantic! Sight's an overrated sense

I love to feel my way around, explore

The soft and hard you have in store

*

Let's close the curtains, drapes and blinds, my mind 

Works overtime to fill the voids, avoids

The stereotypes. It fires imagination

Heightens touch and smell and taste sensations

*

Let's make love beneath the quilt, it's

Been an age since I've been so turned on

And visuals would only compromise...

Detract from what our minds can visualise

*

Let's close our eyes, pretend it's all a game

If breathing is a problem for you, babe... It's

So exciting, don't you think, to second

Guess where you might squirt your fecund mess?

*

Let's use the mirrors? No, if it's okay

Let's stay here in the dark. It's been a while - 

Don't smile, it has! I'm nervous, scared... A drink?

I'm not as self-assured as you might think.

*

Let's take it slow, I wish you'd seen me in 

The day - I turned some heads! You're so sweet, thanks, but

Kids and stretch marks, cellulite, Caesarian

Scars and fat. Yes, fat! I am! I am!

*

Let's say goodnight before we go too far

You're great, and though it's been a lovely date

I don't think we should meet again. You see -

To tell the truth - there was no spark for me

*

Let's call him now and call the whole thing off

This Lycra corset's fucking cutting me in half

My make-up's tarty and I'm full of gas

I'm okay on my own, I'll phone and pass

*

Let's chill, get out of these things, pour myself

A glass and slob before the TV and accept

The fact he would not want me if it came

To that. Because I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat