To all of those out there who want something they know they will never be able to have....

Alone and cold I sit here in my bathtub while the rest of the world sleeps

This tiny bathroom is my solace

My refuge. My escape

A low burning candle of sandalwood fills the air with a fragrant heavy musk

The low droning noise of a sad and simple song fades to silence in the background

The water has grown cold ages ago, although I fail to even feel the goosebumps that trail down my spine

It's so very late, and I long to rest my weary head and let sweet thoughts of you invade my mind for the few precious hours I have left before sunrise

I try to reserve these hours for you in my mind, trying to keep you in my dream world where people like you should be

Surely you must be a figment of my imagination

The way someone can so quietly and subtly slip in between the lines when you're not looking

Not anticipating. Not expecting

I will not push you away, for you are soothing to my soul

Like an old friend in a time of defeat. A warm fire on a cold night. New found inspiration to my words

Thoughts of you and your life so far away on these dreary and sleepless nights help to keep my soul warm and lighthearted

We probably shouldn't have been more than two ships passing in the night. Two strangers on our own seperate paths to some other destination

Yet here we are

No matter how far we reach our arms towards one another, fate can be cruel and unusual and we will likely never come face to face

Although, I feel, one touch may break us.

May make this thing bigger than us both.

If my fingertips were to indeed touch yours, I may just see the truth.

It's scary. Foreign. Torture just to think of it.

Maybe in a different time. A different place. A different reality than what my life really is

Maybe it's better this way. Maybe the currents of electricity within your embrace would be too much to bear for a soul such as mine

It's nights like these - when my mind wanders and refuses to rest, that I long for the warmth of his arms to hold me close, to make me feel like a whole person once again

My heart is heavy and it hurts most days

You know this all too well. It's scary how you read me like an open book. There are no secrets, only truth.

The truth hurts tonight

When the skies turn from blue to black and the stars ascend in the darkness, my heart thinks of you, and melts a little more with each approaching dawn

We'll take this with a cautious smile and a laugh.

Day by day. No guarantees. No promises of tomorrow

Just another day. From dawn until dusk

Leading to that most beautiful and anticipated night

To hear your voice saying my name, so rich and filled with something sweet and unattainable

But for now, the world sleeps

And I think of you