I've been married to my love
For well over forty years
We've had some laughs
And we've shed a few tears.

We never did it in the kitchen
The cupboards hit her head, 
The couch was too awkward
Or so she said

The dining room table was out
It was too hard on her back,
Don’t even bend her over here
Come on, give me some slack.

The desk offered plenty of room
Her objects were just a few,
But the curtains in the den
Offered the neighbors a view

The tub in the bathroom wasn't good
She claimed the bottom too slick,
Oh please honey, my love
I need a room my dick to stick

Our daughter's room was pretty
In its purples and pink,
Her objections were varied and many
It's just too gross, don't you think.

The garage was way too dirty
The carpet on the floor was also unclean,
The screened in porch she couldn't hide
Excuses many I've heard and seen

The only place left in the house
The master bedroom remain, 
I shall bed her there until
I can only walk with a cane. 

Her nighties were granny and flannel
They weren't of fine silks and lace, 
Doggy style was not an option
She wanted to look at my face.

Then I suggest then with a grin
Why don't we use your derriere, 
Oh sweet knight of mine, she proclaims
Your sword will never sheath there.

On top you'd think she'd finally like
But as a cow-girl she couldn't ride, 
Too much effort she claims
I can't stop this rising tide.

We love each other deeply
But we never did it in the car, 
Only in our queen-sized bed
Sex is restrained, so far.

Missionary is the ultimate position
She lies on her back with legs wide,
I climb on top of her with a smile
It's her target I see, it can't hide.

We've had a lot of laughs
And we've shed a few too many tears, 
Oh God how I love this woman
For forty some odd years.