Lost in the void
Of what has been destroyed
By those who have toyed
With my mind
With my soul
This big gaping hole
It seems it's time again to take control.
Stop being so trusting
Or you will never be whole
Dammit!
Shut up in there!
You with the cranberry brown hair
And that awful cold stare.
Go back to sleep!
Keep your words,
Herd your sheep.
Today, I will not weep.
Today, I will not weep.

And even as I write
These swirling thoughts and notions,
I know my heart is being filled
With fabricated emotions.
Emotions.
Such a silly little word
That makes so many disturbed
They don't know the truth
Feelings come from thoughts
That rarely seek for proof
You can not feel
Without thinking it first
Some say knowledge is power
I say knowledge hurts
I am a realist
And am often told
That when I grow old
I will be alone
Never allowed to buy back what I've sold
I realize nothing can be taken from me
If I've not already set those things free
I see what I want to see
Reality
The you. The me.

I have so many voices
That scream from inside
They tell me to go hide
To cower and watch
As others enjoy the ride
My fear is always bashing my pride
Oh shit!
Keep that inside!
If you bite your tongue
You cannot lie
Wear sunglasses too,
So they can't look you in the eye.
Too bad I don't trust those voices
And set all these thoughts aside.
When I see you.
When I feel you.
Yes, you!
You know it's true
Although I can't explain it
I know it is real too.
You built that nest inside my heart
So many moons ago
And when you left you may have thought
Me to be completely shallow.
Not so.
Not at all.
Until you, I never even knew
That I had a gaping hole
In that wall, that you instantly saw
And jumped in through.

So that's how it is
Now that we no longer exist
Your room is still there
The door is never closed
That room is not for rent
It doesn't matter where you are
It doesn't matter where you went
That room you built inside my heart
Will never be for rent
There is no need for sorry
Or even an explanation
You see my lovely love
I have come to the realization
That I only know half the story
And the half I know, ain't quite right
I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never know
What you were thinking that night
I will never know what you were feeling
When you vanished out of sight
And it is alright
Because I know
We are all fighting our own fight
And often lose sight
Of what is wrong
And what is right,
But I won't cry tonight.
I will not cry tonight.