I hold my tongue.
I stare the blank screen.
I begin to weep to my heart pain over Theo. How do I say words to embrace Theo’s heart with warmth towards me? Should I speak what stirs within my essence for you? Can I see the truth flickering in your haunting sultry eyes as I tell Theo all from the depth of my heart and soul? Will Theo smile to the news of my love depth for him? Or he will just bait me with sweet lies to gain my one precious gift from me? Come the setting sun, I look out about life; all I see is darkness and feel your haunting pain pulling apart. Now I wish I had told Theo long ago of the love within me for him. I turn to look back at the blank page. My hands tremble like my beating heart, my breathing is fast, and my mind is lost within the fog of love for you. Can I find the sweet words to tell Theo? Yes, I can. With the depth of my heart lurks a desire for Theo that no man can steal from him. My heart and soul would walk thousand of miles to die in your place. I see and feel his pain. I even weep his tears that Theo can’t show. I pace the floors at nights with thoughts of Theo. My hands touch my lonely lips of sin wishing Theo lips were kissing mine. I stare into the mirror naked wishing Theo was standing behind me, so I can watch his hands touching my naked flesh as if he owns my entire body as his. I feel things that I know is wrong and against God, but I now know that Theo is the only man that can awaken my sleeping passion. Depth of my love is endless as time and space for Theo. I know I could kiss his dying lips and offer my life for his.