Here we go again.
The never ending
wave of emotions.
The good and the bad.
All living at the edges
of this little thing we call life.
But today it seeps
into me.
Making it hard to breathe.
Gasping and trying
to hold it all back.
Hide it from you again.
Looking at you
with eyes so full of tears
they overflow
but you continue to just watch.
Looking into your bewildered face,
Did you not know this
was how I was feeling?
How could you not see it?
Every moment cherished.
Every moment remembered.
A kiss, the gentle press of
your lips against mine.
With every moment I showed it.
In this moment you have shown you never did.
So where do we go?
We run of course
isn't that what we do each time
when things get rough?
But no matter what I say.
you tell me you're sorry
and that you will leave.
It makes my tears run so freely
So you leave.
And then there is just me
sitting here.
With this old blanket,
that's covered in your smell.
No longer crying.
No more tears.
No more emotions.
Just thoughts, lots of them.
Nothing that can be
explained or written.
Flashes of laughter, of happy times.
All of them like a bad movie
playing out in my own private theatre.
Nothing drowns them out,
They haunt me.
My body has become just a shell,
you reduced me down to my lowest level
the worst form of myself.
The self conscious child I once was.
But I survive this time.
Somehow things move on.
I repair, lean on my friends.
Finish with you.
And focus on me.
Breathe.
It's hard but easy.
The weight has been lifted
The peace flows through me.
I am myself again.
The never ending
wave of emotions.
The good and the bad.
All living at the edges
of this little thing we call life.
But today it seeps
into me.
Making it hard to breathe.
Gasping and trying
to hold it all back.
Hide it from you again.
Looking at you
with eyes so full of tears
they overflow
but you continue to just watch.
Looking into your bewildered face,
Did you not know this
was how I was feeling?
How could you not see it?
Every moment cherished.
Every moment remembered.
A kiss, the gentle press of
your lips against mine.
With every moment I showed it.
In this moment you have shown you never did.
So where do we go?
We run of course
isn't that what we do each time
when things get rough?
But no matter what I say.
you tell me you're sorry
and that you will leave.
It makes my tears run so freely
So you leave.
And then there is just me
sitting here.
With this old blanket,
that's covered in your smell.
No longer crying.
No more tears.
No more emotions.
Just thoughts, lots of them.
Nothing that can be
explained or written.
Flashes of laughter, of happy times.
All of them like a bad movie
playing out in my own private theatre.
Nothing drowns them out,
They haunt me.
My body has become just a shell,
you reduced me down to my lowest level
the worst form of myself.
The self conscious child I once was.
But I survive this time.
Somehow things move on.
I repair, lean on my friends.
Finish with you.
And focus on me.
Breathe.
It's hard but easy.
The weight has been lifted
The peace flows through me.
I am myself again.
