Chapter 6

It’s a fucking video call.

I should have known when I saw the meeting room change from Guy’s private office to one of our video conference rooms. We generally use those for calls with our other offices or when clients are remote.

And sure enough, as I enter the conference room, one of Guy’s admins is setting-up the video technology, which can only mean one thing since the rest of us will be here in person. Lauren will be on the big screen.

I know I shouldn’t care, but I’m instantly glad for the extra time I took on my hair and make-up this morning. I usually do that when I need to feel refreshed and ready for a grueling day.

It may be petty, but I’m smiling inside at the thought of her seeing me in this particular pantsuit. Lesbians generally love me in this one.

I’m the first one in the room so I take one of the chairs in the middle of the table, knowing Guy or Michelle will likely take the seat at the head. I’m engrossed in email catch-up when I see a mug of coffee set in front of me.

I look up to see Jackie leaning against the conference table right next to me, blowing casually on her own mug of coffee.

“I see somebody came dressed to impress today,” she says as she looks down at my tight, fitted black blazer.

“Not really,” I say as I turn my attention back to the screen. Something about Jackie’s teasing tone bothers me. I’m just not in the mood this morning.

Jackie seems to get that and simply sits down next to me, opening up her own laptop. After a few minutes of silence, she leans into me and whispers quietly.

“What do you think this is all about?”

The butterflies I had kept at bay until now erupt in my stomach at her words. I asked myself that same question all last night as I was trying to sleep and came up empty.

“I have no idea,” I say as I turn to Jackie. She’s looking at me tentatively as if she doesn’t know what to say or how to act around me right now.

“Ems, what’s going on? You look a bit tense. Are you worried about seeing Lauren?” she asks.

I look up at the clock and see we still have five minutes before the meeting starts and it doesn’t seem fair that Jackie is going into this completely blind. Suddenly Lauren’s request for secrecy seems ridiculous in the face of this meeting. If things were reversed, I know Jackie would confide in me.

“All I know is that Lauren is married to the daughter of Ellison’s CEO. And now they’re getting a divorce,” I tell her in a quick whisper.

Jackie’s eyes widen, but just as she’s about to launch into what was most likely going to be an avalanche of questions, we hear the door on the far side of the room open.

Michelle and Guy both walk in, but the jovial man who made his announcement about the Interplay win and Lauren’s move at yesterday’s staff meeting is nowhere to be found. This version of Guy looks like he hasn’t slept all night.

“Hey, you two, thanks for joining us so last minute,” he says as he takes a seat across the table from us.

His usually perfectly coiffed hair is disheveled. Michelle joins him on that side of the table, looking equally stressed but much more put together.

“Lauren will be calling in momentarily so let’s wait for her before we begin,” Guy says.

There’s a moment of awkward silence while we wait for Lauren to call in where nobody talks. Which is odd in itself, since there’s usually small talk before this kind of internal meeting, but both Guy and Michelle look agitated.

After a minute we can hear the console in the middle of the table beep and Guy’s admin comes shuffling over with a remote to make sure the video comes in. Lauren’s face is suddenly on the screen.

I barely get a proper look at her before I turn away from the screen to look at Guy and Michelle. That’s the only way I’ll get through this meeting. Avoiding looking at the screen as much as I can.

“I guess introductions aren’t needed here. You all worked closely together this week,” Guy says.

I can hear Jackie give a small cough next to me and I have to stop myself from kicking her chair. I still keep my eyes from the screen, which may look weird, but I’m just not prepared to see Lauren that big.

“I’ll get right to it then. We received a Request for Proposal late last night from Ellison Tech and we’re bringing you two in to lead the pitch process,” Guy says.

A million questions enter my brain and my resolve to keep my eyes from the screen is broken the second the words leave his mouth. I quickly snap my head to look up into Lauren’s face.

Like Guy, she looks like she hasn’t slept much, but unlike Guy, she still looks stunning in her crisp, white button-up shirt. The top two buttons are undone, and I have to stop myself from letting my gaze land on the soft, tan skin there. It’s even harder stopping my mouth from watering at the sight.

Despite the fact that she’s been traveling, her hair looks as shiny and styled as if she had spent the morning at a salon. But her eyes don’t hold the same mischievous glint I’ve come to associate with them. It’s her eyes that show just how exhausted she is. The same sadness I saw in the parking garage yesterday is resting just under the surface of her stoic face.

“I’m a little confused. Why would an RFP for Ellison be sent to this office?” I ask.

“Technically it wasn’t,” Michelle says. “It was sent to our west coast development team since our offices have the largest technology practice. Lauren and I came together late last night with the leads in LA and San Francisco to discuss who makes sense to lead this pitch. We decided you two make the most sense given your background in both winning new business for Altitude and the technology space.”

“Wouldn’t the Austin office still be involved since they handle all Ellison business? This feels like we’re stepping on their toes a bit.” Jackie asks.

“Not for this one. Ellison has some specific stipulations,” Guy says carefully.

Something about his tone makes me nervous. Everything about this feels weird.

I look up at the screen to Lauren, who has been uncharacteristically quiet so far. In my experience, Lauren is usually the one to take the lead in meetings. And considering her new, regional role, she’s technically senior to both Guy and Michelle.

But Lauren merely gives me an intense look as Guy and Jackie continue talking. Her frown deepens as we continue looking at each other and it’s not until I feel a kick of my chair from Jackie that I’m able to shake myself from what probably looked like a corporate staring contest.

I turn back to the conversation in time to hear Guy explain Ellison’s guidelines.

“Anyone involved has to sign a non-disclosure agreement. We won’t even be given product details until we do that. They’ll get a list of who’s signed. Nobody who currently works on Ellison business can be in on this.”

I don’t even know where to go with my next question. I have so many and my mind feels like it’s moving too fast for my mouth. Ever since I found out about Lauren’s marriage, everything feels like it’s getting out of control. I’m suddenly being brought in to pitch the very woman Lauren didn’t tell me about?

Luckily Jackie isn’t in the same emotional turmoil as I am and seems equally confused by the situation unfolding itself in front of us.

“I think it’s safe to say the both of us are a little confused about this whole thing,” she says to Guy and Michelle. I’ve noticed that Jackie has barely looked up at the screen to Lauren.

“I get it,” Guy says. “We had no idea this would be coming in last night. But this project is as high stakes as it gets for us. It could impact every retainer we have with them.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Finally, I hear Lauren’s authoritative voice chime in. I take a moment to sip my coffee before looking over at the screen. Watching Lauren speak is as sexy as watching most women take off their clothes. It’s so low and commanding and I hate the way she still affects me.

“The Ellison family care about optics. It’s why they’ve done so well through the years. Altitude is their Agency of Record and rightly so considering our size and experience. We’re in that contract for another year and a half for Ellison Tech, Ellison Finery, and the Foundation. They won’t just fire us without a reason, it would be their own PR nightmare. So they’re opening up the playing field to our competition.”

“Whatever agency wins this business, they will most likely be awarded the other retainers once our contract is up,” Michelle says next.

“Do we know what the product is?” I ask.

“It could be something related to expanding their cloud services,” Lauren says. “Or It could be something bigger like an AI product, which they’ve been rumored to be working on.”

There’s a beat of silence as both Jackie and I just sit there, looking across the table. Finally, Jackie says what I’ve been thinking since I received the meeting invite last night, but definitely didn’t have the courage to bring up.

“Why aren’t we addressing the real elephant in the room? Or will that be in the NDA?” she asks.

I’ve always admired Jackie’s talent for getting straight to the point without pissing off her superiors. People here tend to give the creative leads more leeway in behavior than if you’re on the client services or development team, where you’re expected to be more buttoned up.

I avoid looking at the camera and turn my eyes to Guy and Michelle on the other side of the table.

Guy gives what he probably thinks is a casual smile but just comes across as a bit strained. “What elephant is that Jackie?”

“That Lauren is married, or was, married to the client. That elephant, Guy” Jackie responds with a simple smile of her own. She’s still avoiding eye contact with the screen.

When Guy and Michelle don’t respond and purely give each other a small look, I decide to jump in. Jackie’s combative tone is making me nervous and I really don’t want to give anything away to Michelle and Guy about my relationship with Lauren.

“It’s not a huge secret. And it’s easily found if you use Google,” I say in a less aggressive tone than Jackie is taking, hoping they’ll just move past the fact that Jackie had no way of knowing Lauren’s marriage is ending.

I don’t know what Lauren has told them, but I assume she hasn’t mentioned anything about me. I’ve been in the agency world for long enough to know that Michelle and Guy are not just going to come out and tell us everything. They’ll assume we don’t know anything more than whatever it is they tell us. Jackie is making it hard to keep up that façade.

“We’re no longer together. But my past relationship won’t affect your workflow,” Lauren suddenly says, and all of our heads turn to the screen. Her face is unreadable.

It’s obvious that Lauren, Guy, and Michelle all decided not to discuss the personal aspect of this with someone as junior as a Vice President and a Senior Designer. Despite the fact that we’re only in this situation because of the personal relationship between Lauren and Ellison.

“Lauren will be able to advise from afar, but she can’t bill her time to the development retainer, she can’t be in the room, and she can’t be given details that betray the NDA,” Guy says, obviously trying to steer the conversation off the subject of Lauren’s marriage.

Guy and Michelle treating us like children is infuriating. They should just be transparent about the fact that this is just a long game for Ellison to eventually fire us from all their business.

“But it doesn’t seem like we’re in a great position to win this right?” I ask, not able to hide a hint of anger from my voice.

I asked the question even though I know the answer. Of course, this is some kind of set-up to fire us from the business. I’ve never heard of a client doing something like this when they already have an agency of record.

This is about Lauren. And maybe she was right about Olivia. Because this is a pretty clever way of finding a rock star new agency while making the optics of firing your old, loyal agency much less unethical.

“Altitude is the largest agency in the country and one of the global leaders. There are no other agencies at our level in the Southwest. Ellison can’t just fire us because of a personal issue,” Lauren adds a bit defensively.

“But they can create a fake contest and fire us because of that?” Jackie shoots back, finally staring Lauren down on camera.

Jackie’s never been one to back down to anyone based on title and stature in the company and it seems even Lauren Callahan doesn’t scare her.

“It’s not a contest and it’s not fake. It’s a pitch, just like any other,” Lauren says with steel in her voice. “We may not have known that we wouldn’t automatically get the new business, but we did know they had been working towards something big. If we create the best pitch, the best strategic thinking, we can still win this. Olivia and Richard won’t be the only deciding factors.”

“So, what now?” I ask, trying to relieve some of the tension between Jackie and Lauren.

I have no logical reason to need them to like each other, but since Guy and Michelle seem to be at a loss as to how to handle this meeting, I feel like I need to move us along.

“Now you sign your life away,” Guy says smiling at us as he slides over NDAs. Normally I would appreciate his attempt at levity, but right now my mind is a mess of questions and dread about what we’re getting ourselves into.

“And then?” I ask.

“And then we have a kick-off as a team. You won’t be alone. We’ll assign two members of the development strategy team to help with research and things like that. They’ll sign an NDA as well. Once we have the details, you’ll be mainly working out of Anchor to keep things confidential and away from the rest of the office,” Guy says.

Anchor is the largest conference room in the office. Each Altitude office names their conference rooms based on features of that city. Most of the Seattle rooms have some aquatic or mountain theme. Luckily the room we’ll be in has a gorgeous view of the water.

“There’s not much more we can do until we get the actual proposal from them and know more about the process. Historically Ellison has two rounds of in-person pitches, so we expect numerous trips to Austin for that,” Guy says as he begins to shuffle his papers together.

“I’ll leave Michelle to witness your signing of the NDAs and she’ll send them on to Ellison today. Lauren, we’ll see you next week!” he adds excitedly, as if she’s not coming because she’s basically being run out of her own city.

I find myself looking up at the screen one last time. Lauren is looking directly at me and says, “I look forward to seeing you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jackie has another meeting, so she leaves as soon as we finish up with Guy and Michelle. No doubt she’ll be barging into my office once she’s done to discuss what just happened.

I keep my Friday calendar fairly clear, so my day is light with meetings. It gives me a chance to catch up on all the work I missed while I was in meetings all week or focusing solely on a pitch.

As I sit down at my computer, I can feel my stomach clench at the prospect of what I now need to do. Guy and Michelle will figure out a way to take most ongoing projects off my plate, but there’s still a lot of administrative things I need to figure out since I was due to be in a handful of pitches over the next few months.

Before I can get deep into anything, I hear the phone on my desk ringing. I look down and can see, “L. Callahan,” flashing across the screen. I consider not answering it for a moment— she doesn’t know if I came back to my office after all, but the fact is, we do need to talk.

I don’t even bother saying hello.

“I can’t believe you put me in this position.”

“I love your pantsuit,” she says as if I had greeted her in a friendly manner.

“Lauren.”

“I’m not sure I know what position you mean. The one where you have the opportunity to win Altitude one of the biggest pieces of business the Seattle office has ever seen?”

“Cut the crap, Lauren. There are plenty of development leads that could pitch this. Why did you put me on this?”

There was silence on the line for a moment and I’m pretty sure I can hear her sigh slightly. I’m not sure if she was expecting some big thank you from me, but this entire situation feels like one big mess that could have been avoided if I had just gone home that night instead of to my office with this infuriating woman.

“No, Emma. You’re wrong. You are the only person who I think has the chops to handle this. Whatever you may think about me, I’ve seen you from start to finish on a pitch and you’re the only one who can get this done.”

“You know we’re set-up to lose this,” I say back angrily.

“Not necessarily. Ellison Tech is a global conglomerate. Olivia and her father hold a lot of power, but not all of it. They have stakeholders. A board. Investors. People who won’t let Olivia burn down the castle because she’s mad. Altitude has proven their worth to Ellison. She’s just doing what she can to get the upper hand.”

“And now I’m a pawn in your divorce. Wouldn’t this be easier with someone you don’t have a history with? Considering who we’re pitching?”

“I wasn’t flirting this week when I told you that you won us the Interplay business. You are exceptional. Better than I am. If there’s going to be someone to pitch this business, it needs to be you. You won’t have any contact with either Ellison until the pitch. And that’s just a show, like any other pitch, Emma.”

“Jackie knows,” I say.

This time I can definitely hear her sigh. “I gathered that based on her attitude during the meeting. I chose her because of her work on Interplay. But I can find another creative lead if you think it will be a problem.”

“It won’t. Jackie is a professional. And she is the best. If I have any shot in hell of getting this done, I need her.”

“And me? Will you need me, Emma?”

Her voice sounds sultry, almost arrogant and my body betrays me by letting out a shudder. The anger I felt yesterday isn’t as potent, but It wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge again.

It doesn’t matter that Lauren left her wife. I was still a complete rebound that didn’t know she was a rebound. And now my new boss is my ex-lover.

“Considering your close ties to the account, I’m sure your advice will be invaluable, Lauren. Thank you for this opportunity of a lifetime,” I say back with more snark than I meant to infuse into my tone.

“Emma.”

“Look, we have to work together. Not just on this, but ongoing. Let’s just keep this professional. I need to focus on how we’re going to convince your ex-wife not to give away the millions of dollars that come to this agency. And I need your help to do that.”

“And you really think we can just be professional?”

Lauren’s voice is low, but it doesn’t sound like she’s trying to be quiet. It has the same husk I’ve heard before and I can’t do anything but clench my legs together.

“Putting aside everything else, you’re my boss now,” I say as I lower my voice even more.

The door may be closed, but I still feel like I need to be careful talking like this while people are working on either side of my office walls. I don’t have the luxury of Lauren’s most-likely massive EVP office.

“No. I’m Michelle’s new boss. Michelle is still your boss. It would be inappropriate for an EVP to manage a VP,” she says dismissively.

“Oh, that’s what’s inappropriate, Lauren?”

“I hate when you say my name like that.”

“Like I’m your co-worker?”

“Like you hate me.”

I pause at that. Part of me wants to just confirm her suspicion. This whole thing would be easier if I could just hate her. For lying to me. For putting me in this stupid situation. But I don’t hate her. I hate how she’s made me feel.

“I don’t hate you,” I say quietly. “I’m just. I’m just so mad at you. You’ve really put me into a shitty situation here.”

“You can do this. I promise you. I know how Olivia’s business works. She has so many more people to answer to than just herself. And yes, she will do what she can to sabotage us. But I have my own connections with her board and some ideas I don’t think she would ever see coming. Just, trust me, please.”

I want to believe her. That she has some recipe up her sleeve to fix this and help me win. But I also know better. This is a no-win for me. I’m being set-up to fail and my impending promotion feels like it’s slipping further and further away.

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“This is just another Interplay. Forget about who’s going to be behind the table. This is what you and I do best. We win pitches. Let’s just figure out how to win this one.”

“This is so much different than Interplay!” I say and I have to take a breath because I can feel my anger rising again.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t acting so blasé about the whole thing. She’s acting like I was handed a golden egg on a silver platter and not what it is in reality— a disaster pitch waiting to happen.

“It can be, Ems. We played well together once, we can do it again,” she says, and I can hear the faintest bit of husk in her voice.

“This isn’t Interplay. Things are different.”

“They don’t have to be,” she says and now I can hear a definite husk in her voice. I hate how much my body responds to it.

“Lauren,” is all I can say back.

I can’t do this with her in general, but especially not right now while I’m at the office trying to shift around my entire workload.

“Now that is how my name should be said,” she says back.

“Stop it. Now.” I catch myself before I say ‘please’ to her. I can’t give her the satisfaction I know that word will elicit.

There’s a beat of silence on the phone before she speaks. When she does, her voice sounds much more like her professional self than before.

“It wasn’t just the Interplay pitch that caught my eye. Remember this week when I told you that I’d heard a lot of good things about you?”

Of course, I remember that moment. It was right before she asked me if I was a bottom and fucked me in this very chair. I can’t help but squirm a little as I sit there, remembering all the moments of that night.

“I figured you were just trying to get laid,” I say back in a neutral tone, trying not to betray the fact that I’m squeezing my legs together even tighter.

“Well I wasn’t,” she says firmly. “I’ve been working with the leads on the west coast for months now, preparing for this move. I’ve seen the numbers and the business we’ve won over the past two years. There’s one name at the top of each of those proposals. Your name. I knew more about you than you can imagine before I got here. I was already a fangirl, Emma.”

All I can do is let out an audible sigh into the phone. I want to believe her words so much. And part of me is flattered. Despite everything that has happened, and the fact that we’ll probably lose the Ellison retainer because of her, Lauren is still the most impressive person I’ve met at Altitude. Her validation of my professional talent means something.

And I desperately wish that this was just another pitch for me. But it’s not. This is a Hail Mary to save an account that is doomed and was the second Lauren decided to leave her wife.

Thinking about that causes something Lauren said in our meeting earlier to pop into my head.

“You said during the meeting that Ellison must have been working towards this product for a while. When did they decide not to automatically hire Altitude?”

“I honestly don’t know. But the timing seems suspect. She wouldn’t have been able to come up with this plan in the two days since she’s been served. From what we’ve gathered, some of the agencies involved have known for a while. We were the last to be told.”

When I don’t say anything, she continues. “Look, there’s so much I want to explain. But not like this. Please see me. I’ll be there on Wednesday. Michelle will be setting up an official kick-off for the new team. I can’t be in that because of the NDA, but I’ll be there to advise how I can.”

“Wednesday?”

Last night she said she’d be here in a week, and even then, I figured it was for a quick trip before going back to Austin. Usually, office moves across the country take a few months. But it seems nothing is normal in this situation.

“Ellison’s move has shifted my timeline. I have no reason to stay in Austin and it’s better for Altitude if I don’t. Guy’s unplanned announcement yesterday didn’t help. Word got back to Austin pretty fast.”

“You mean Olivia’s move. Word got back to Olivia.”

I internally cringe at my words the moment they leave my mouth. Not only do I sound petulant, but I’m the one trying to keep this as professional as I can. Olivia and Lauren’s relationship shouldn’t matter to me. I need to focus on the account itself. Somehow, I need to find a way to make Altitude indispensable to Ellison.

“Let me take you to dinner,” Lauren says brushing over my comment without even acknowledging it.

This woman is infuriating.

“As co-workers?” I ask knowing very well what her answer will be.

“No,” she says back.

“Then, no.”

“And if I agree to keep it to just a friendly co-worker dinner?”

I look at the clock on my computer and see that it’s not even 10 AM. I can already feel a familiar pressure forming behind my eyes. Something that always happens when I feel stressed and overwhelmed.

“Let’s just see how things go after the kick-off,” I say. “I need to go, I have a meeting.”

I usually hate lying, even little ones, but I need to get off this call before I agree to something that I shouldn’t.

“Emma?”

“Yes,” I say back in almost a whisper. Every time she says my name like that, I’m scared of what will come next.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Have dinner with me.”

I don’t say anything, and she just waits. I can feel my heart racing after hearing her words. After everything, I can’t deny that I still want her. I can’t go there again, especially now we’re in this mess at work, but it doesn’t stop the blood from rushing to my head in want.

“I’ll see you Wednesday, Lauren.”

I force my hand to hang up the phone before she has a chance to wear me down with another declaration or invitation.

There are very few things I have clarity on this morning, but one thing is absolutely clear— my body still aches for Lauren. Her eyes, her voice, everything about her presence makes me shudder with want.

And that’s why dinner is absolutely out of the question. I know exactly where dinner will lead. My disloyal, traitor of a body would see to that.

The weeks ahead of me are going to be a grueling test of agency survival as it is. I need to focus on the impossible task of helping Altitude retain one of our biggest accounts and win Ellison’s new business in the process.

This morning when I woke up all I thought I had to do was move on from Lauren’s insane allure and get my SVP title. The goal has changed a bit, but I still need to focus on that. And maybe Lauren is right. Maybe this can be done.

I mean how hard can it really be to convince my boss slash ex-bedmate’s soon to be ex-wife to not fire us?

As the overly complicated question rolls through my head, I already know the answer and all I can do is slam my head down on my desk. Fuck.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m on glass number two when I hear my apartment intercom buzz. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes looking for something on TV to numb my mind but can’t seem to concentrate on anything. As I get up to let Jackie in, I can already feel the effects of the champagne go to my head.

I unlock the door after pressing the buzzer so Jackie can just come in once she’s ridden the elevator up to my floor.

I go to the kitchen and grab a second glass. I don’t have the ingredients to make her go-to Manhattan, but I know she doesn’t really care what she drinks as long as it’s not water. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jackie drink water.

Jackie comes in as I’m heading back into my living room and she throws her coat and shoes off, leaving them on the floor like she owns the place. I have to chide myself for thinking about Lauren’s reaction to clothes so haphazardly thrown about.

“Oh thank god, I hope those are both for me,” she says as she grabs one of the glasses out of my hand and takes a long sip with her eyes closed. “I needed that,” she breaths out and hums.

“Apparently,” I say as I move to the couch. “But I’m afraid to say, this glass is mine, you lush.”

Jackie moves over to the couch and plops down, throwing her head dramatically backwards onto the back as she does.

“You’re right. You need that drink more than I do. What the actual fuck just happened today?”

I take a sip before answering. I’m beyond tired, but I couldn’t say no to Jackie when she asked to come over for a quick drink. It might be good to talk this out with someone other than Lauren.

“Our new boss left her wife, who’s our client and that client now wants to fire us. You and I are the Wonder Woman and Super Girl of saving the account. Oh, and I fucked said boss. I think that covers it?”

Jackie sits up slightly. “Wait. Who am I? Wonder Woman or Super Girl?”

“Wonder Woman, obviously. I’m blonde.”

She scoffs. “I don’t think hair color should define what superhero we can be. You have Wonder Woman energy.”

“Beyond the fact that you saw the movie in theaters a million times because of Gal Gadot, what do you actually know about Wonder Woman?”

“First of all, I saw it twice in theaters. Secondly, nothing. But Gal Gadot looks too much like me. I don’t want to fuck myself. Unless it’s my vibrator doing it,” she adds.

“I’m pretty sure you just complimented yourself,” I tease back.

“And you. I said I’d rather fuck you than myself too.”

I’ve always appreciated Jackie’s openness about sex. There are very few topics she shies away from. But there are also times she makes subtle comments about being attracted to me and I can’t tell if it’s a joke or real.

We haven’t been romantic in more than two years and I hope she doesn’t still feel anything because our friendship really does mean a lot to me. Working the job that I do, it’s often hard to find friends who understand the hours I put in and the travel I have to do for pitches.

But I’ve also noticed that Jackie has been a bit more bristly than normal this week, and it’s usually any time Lauren comes up.

“Refill?” I ask moving off the couch to get the bottle of champagne. For some reason, Jackie’s behavior is making me a little nervous and I’d rather not talk about sex.

“Please,” she says.

She raises her voice slightly as I leave the room so I can still hear her talk. “I still don’t get why Olivia Ellison doesn’t just fire us. I mean, that’s what I would do if I was a billionaire and my wife left me for some floozy.”

“Am I the floozy here?” I ask as I come back to the living room and sit back down on the couch. I pour us each a healthy portion. “What even is a floozy?”

“I don’t know,” she says and takes a sip. “But you’re definitely the floozy in this situation.”

I move on from the floozy comment since I know Jackie and soon, we’ll be on Google looking up the exact definition if I don’t. And I already know I’m not a floozy. Whatever that is.

“Anyway. I can only guess that she can’t fire us from our contract without some kind of legal ramifications. Not to mention it might look bad as the first move as new CEO to fire the best firm in the country because you got dumped,” I say.

Jackie narrows her eyes slightly at me as she takes another sip. “Is someone feeling a little defensive of Lauren now?”

“No. I’m just trying to make logical sense of all this. And the fact is, if I were Olivia, the best way to ethically stick it to my ex would be to give away a multi-million-dollar piece of business to someone else. Clean and easy. No lawsuits or features on Page Six.”

“I don’t know. I think I’d just fire my ex,” Jackie says.

There’s a moment of silence where we both sip our wine before Jackie smiles at me. “So…. what does this Olivia Ellison look like? Hot as Lauren?”

“No,” I say much too fast, causing Jackie to raise one eyebrow. “I mean, she’s beautiful. But a little intense looking.”

“Mmhm. Or you just have a fatty crush on her wife.”

“Ex-wife,” I say again too quickly.

Jackie doesn’t tease me this time. Now she’s giving me a quiet, serious look.

“Ems, you can’t sleep with her again. This pitch will be hard enough for you, for us, knowing it’s probably just a set-up to fire us. We can’t get involved in the personal side of this. You know that right?”

She places her hand on my leg and squeezes lightly.

“I know that,” I say. “I’m not interested in her anymore. This situation killed that.”

As the words leave my mouth, even I can tell they don’t hold much conviction.

The last thing I’m going to do is tell Jackie that I’ve already gone there with Lauren again. In the shadows of our office building no less. But I have a feeling she’ll give me an even bigger lecture if she knows that I didn’t just give in to Lauren again after finding out about Olivia— I instigated sex with her.

Jackie doesn’t call me out on anything though. She simply squeezes my leg again and moves to get up off the couch.

“I told Sarah I’d meet her for a drink at the Rose. You want to join us?” She moves over to the door and begins to put on her shoes. I move over to her coat and pick it up off the floor for her.

“No, you go ahead. I’m exhausted from the week. Tell Sarah hi for me.”

Once she has her coat on and is at the door, she stops before leaving and turns around.

“You’re coming out with me soon, ok? You need a life besides work, Ems.”

I give a harsh laugh at that. “Jackie, I don’t think either of us will have a life for the foreseeable future.”

She moves over and pulls me into a hug. “We’ve got this. I mean, I don’t know that we do, but I’ll be there with you the whole way. Okay?”

“Ok,” I say as I bring my arms up to hug her back. I can feel her push her body more fully into mine as she moves her face, so it’s turned slightly into my neck.

When I think I can feel her inhale slightly, I move backwards as gracefully as I can, not allowing the hug to go on any longer. As I pull away and look at my friend’s face, I can see a glimmer in her eyes that looks hopeful. She gently pushes my hair behind my left ear.

“Jackie..” I say quietly.

But she cuts me off with a quick smile that feels a bit forced and tight.

“I’ll text you tomorrow to make sure you didn’t get married to your couch,” she says in a teasing way, but the tone still doesn’t hold her usual lightness.

And with that, she leaves my apartment. I stand at the door for a moment after she goes. I’m relieved I didn’t have to let Jackie down tonight, but more than a little worried that I might have to eventually.

Which is probably stupid. Jackie and I could probably be good together if we tried again. There just wasn’t enough passion for me last time. And now that I’ve been with someone like Lauren, I don’t know that there ever could be.

I’m putting the glasses in the dishwasher when I hear my phone buzz by me on the counter and I’m almost scared to look at it in case it’s something from Jackie I don’t want to address.

As I clean up my kitchen, I try to ignore both the phone and the small kernel of hope growing in my stomach that maybe it’s not Jackie, but another troublesome woman.

I shake my head at myself for even thinking that. I know I should just be mad at Lauren, and I am, but I also can’t stop thinking of how beautiful she looked on our call today.

I move back to the couch with my phone and only once I’m settled into the cushions do I allow myself to look at the name on the screen. Lauren.

Maybe I’m growing a sixth sense for when she’s texting. Or maybe I have no life and Lauren and Jackie are the only people who text me.

I pick up the remote and pretend to look for something to watch, forcing myself not to open the text right away. Somehow this makes me feel like I have a semblance of control. But after aimlessly scrolling through movies, I finally throw down the remote and pick up my phone.

Lauren: Are you up?

I could easily just ignore her. I ignored her texts last night without a second thought. I could be out at a bar or club. It is a Friday night after all. But like so many other moments I’ve had with Lauren, I go against that inner voice of reason and my fingers move to my keyboard.

Me: It’s 8:30. I’m not that old.

Lauren: No? Then tell me what you’re wearing.

Lauren’s reply comes immediately. And if I hadn’t had the phone call with her earlier, I would have been shocked that she’s flirting. But Lauren Callahan apparently doesn’t back down and that tail she had between her legs yesterday in the parking garage is now confidently back at attention.

Me: None of your business.

Lauren: Fine fine. I’ll just use my imagination.

I have a small smile on my face despite myself. I don’t have a chance to respond to that, not that I knew what to say anyway, before she texts again.

Lauren: Italian or French?

Me: …what?

Lauren: For dinner on Wednesday. Do you prefer Italian food or French? I need to know what kind of place to reserve.

Me: Except I never said yes to dinner.

There’s a longer pause this time before she responds. I can see the message dots reappear a few times before her next text comes in.

Lauren: I think you want to say yes.

Emma: You are so cocky.

Lauren: Not tonight. But that’s something I can arrange if you’re into it.

I roll my eyes even though she can’t see it. Lauren has a special talent for innuendo.

Me: You’re impossible.

Lauren: Perhaps but you’re also flirting with me.

Me: How am I flirting?

I know she’s right. I can feel the smile back on my face and I do what I can to block out Jackie’s warning and my own logical brain telling me to end this conversation.

Lauren: You’re still talking to me aren’t you?

She sends a wink face emoticon before sending another quick text.

Lauren: You still haven’t answered my question on cuisine. Perhaps a diner with pancakes sounds better?

Lauren texts exactly the way she speaks. Almost formal in her cadence, but with subtle confidence. It’s hard not to get sucked in.

I close my eyes for a few moments as I lean my head back against the couch. Lauren is relentless and I wish I could say I hated it. I wish I could just go to bed, make it to Wednesday, keep my head down and get my work done.

But every time I see her name flash across my screen and my body shudders with excitement, I know that shaking off my desire for Lauren won’t be that easy.

I pick my phone up and text her back feeling bolder than before and needing a real answer. Not this superficial banter.

Me: Why do you want to have dinner with me so bad?

Lauren: Because I like you, Emma.

I can see she’s typing so I wait.

Lauren: And there’s more to say. About everything.

Me: You mean about your stupidly gorgeous ex-wife?

I regret typing that as soon as my finger hits send. Not only does it sound jealous, but it stops the quick back and forth banter at once. Which I shouldn’t care about, I tell myself.

I’m about to set my phone back down when I see Lauren’s name flash across the screen, but this time in a call, not a text. I can feel my stomach drop and my hand shakes slightly as I stare at the name. Slowly, as if it might bite me, I press the answer button.

“Hi,” I say as I put the phone to my ear.

“Hi,” she says softly.

There’s a beat before she speaks again. Her voice is low and I’m suddenly picturing her lying in bed in a dark room as she speaks to me. I wonder if she sleeps naked like she did at The Four Seasons or in pajamas or lingerie. I’m guessing lingerie. No. Stop. No guessing about that.

“Do you remember our first meeting this week?” she asks.

Of course, I do. Lauren was already notorious at Altitude and she breezed into the room that day fitting every image I had of her, smelling and looking like the epitome of sex.

“Yes,” I say back quietly.

“That’s not the first time I saw you. I had gotten into the office early from the airport. As I was making an espresso in the kitchen, I saw you get off the elevator.”

She lowers her voice slightly. “Red blouse, black skirt, unsuccessfully innocent ballet slippers. Your beautiful blonde hair falling into your face as you tried to carry your bag and coffee. You looked sexier than anything I’ve ever seen. And I was so distracted, I bumped into one of the office’s interns and got a chest full of strawberry yogurt and granola.”

I can’t help but let out a small laugh at what she just revealed. It’s hard to believe I could ever drive Lauren to clumsiness, but the image of an intern ruining what was most likely an expensive outfit of the one and only Miss Callahan was too good.

“I’m sure that intern thought they were fired,” I say.

“Close. Luckily, I had my suitcase. After seeing you, I switched to the outfit I had reserved for the pitch. Because I wanted to impress you. Because you’re stupidly gorgeous, Emma.”

I’m now coming to associate this dizzy feeling in my head with the aftereffect of things Lauren says to me.

I do my best to not let her hear my breath hitch at her last words. Lauren is smooth and I have to remind myself that she works in PR and to tread lightly. If there’s anything Lauren can do, it’s be persuasive. I know, because I play the same game.

“You’re going to an awful lot of trouble to get me to say yes to dinner,” I say back.

“Is it working?”

I smile into the phone. She’s infuriating but Lauren can’t help but be charming.

“Not yet, but you can keep trying.”

“I accept that challenge.”

“I’m absolutely going to regret saying that.”

And we’re flirting again. I need to end this call before I give into that low, sexy voice. The small laugh she lets out seals the deal and I know I have to get away from her voice immediately.

“I should go,” I say over her laugh.

“Hot date?” She asks teasingly but think I can also hear a hint of seriousness behind the question.

“With my couch. She’s not really my type, but emotionally we really click.”

“You and your couch click? I see. What’s her name?”

“Couch.”

“How original. I’d like to meet Couch. See what I’m up against.”

“I haven’t even said yes to dinner yet.”

“But you will say yes.”

“I’m going now, Lauren.”

“Emma.”

I don’t say anything, but I also don’t hang up yet. Mainly because my heart is racing at the way she says my name. The way she always does when she’s about to say something important.

“I’ve never spooned...or held a woman for an entire night. Not even Olivia. Just you.”

I’m instantly thrown back to her hotel bed. The gentle way she held me all night, lightly caressing my hair when she would wake, kissing the back of my head and pulling me in tighter. I can’t remember the last time feeling that good with a woman.

“Italian,” I say quietly as I hang up the phone.

I shouldn’t have said that and agreed to whatever I just agreed to. But Lauren’s words roll around my head like some intoxicating sonnet and I don’t know how much longer I can keep being angry before my body wins out.

I need to know more about what happened with Olivia. Maybe that will provide some clarity.

And what’s the worst that could happen over a plate of pasta?