I should have fallen asleep easily after the wonderful fucking I had received from Kyra and her strapon, but for a long time, sleep eluded me. My mind was racing with implications of the things I had learned about her, particularly about how those things could relate to the ennui that existed in my relationship with my husband, both before and after his infidelity.

She could still see my husband without the baggage of living with him for years. Her own husband was no longer as appealing to her. She had once liked hearing him call her a slut, a whore, a cunt. But after years of hearing it, it stopped being exciting for her. Her relationship with Benedict was as touched by ennui as mine was with my husband. And both husbands had cheated on their wives, indicating that they were also dissatisfied.

There was no evidence that either of these men cheated right from the beginning of their marriages. They both apparently took their vows of exclusivity seriously, until their resistance to other women was worn down by familiarity and routine, despite the fact that their attitudes toward women, at least as displayed in the marital bed, were almost exactly opposite.

This wouldn't be so meaningful, if it wasn't for the fact that I had responded so positively to being degraded, insulted, and required to humiliate myself by begging for cock. I didn't know where these thoughts were taking me, but that particular truth, that I was submissive in Kyra's role play and enjoyed it, might be a key to repairing my relationship with my husband. But that key might open a door that was better left locked.

Before I finally fell asleep, I vowed to reexamine the very roots of my relationship with my husband. I was beginning to feel that, even if I did grow old with him, there would be no real joy in that, unless one or both of us somehow came to understandings not specified in our agreement. But try as I might, I could not devise a plan.

The next day was spent in conference sessions, discussing the issues with glass ceilings in technical careers. There were actually several other conferences in other rooms at the hotel, all themed on women's issues and all attended, from what I could tell, almost entirely by women. The sessions I attended were definitely serious, but I also perceived them as subterfuge. There was no need to bring us together for this. It could have been handled through electronic media. It seemed obviously to be a partial front for a gathering of UWA sisters, for purposes unknown to me.

I didn't see Kyra all day. She didn't have breakfast with me in the morning and she told me not to expect dinner with her in the evening, but that she would return around ten PM, coinciding with the end time for the last session on our agenda.

I spent the day guessing which of the many women that I was meeting, might have been fellow inductees or possibly sponsors the night before. The women in my working group ran the gamut from highly confident and obviously comfortable, to low in confidence and out of their depth. I hope that I fell somewhere toward the former end of the spectrum.

As I approached Kyra's room, I encountered her sister-in-law. "Liz, fancy meeting you here."

"Hi Cath. Under the circumstances, I suppose it isn't all that surprising. I've always wanted to thank you for getting Kyra to the airport that day. I hope it wasn't too inconvenient." Liz was number one on my list of suspects for Kyra's sponsor. I wouldn't call this confirmation, but it sure was a strong indication that my guess was correct.

"Ah, well. The things we do for each other aren't always pleasant, but I was glad I could be there for her." We chatted for a bit longer, but Liz was clearly on her way somewhere, so we said our goodbyes.

Kyra let me in and gave me a big hug and kiss. "Thank you again for being there when I needed you, Cath. I hope I've begun to repay you for that."

"You have, Kyra. Last night's experience alone was worth all I did for you."

"I'm glad you feel that way. Are you up for the other end of the stick tonight?"

"I've been thinking about it all day. If I can fit that thing in, I'm curious as hell about it."

We sat on the sofa, each enjoying a glass of wine, both of us still in the clothing we had spent the day in. I remembered what she had said the night before about not knowing how to please me with a cock. I decided to broach that topic.

"Ky, assuming that I can even wear this thing, I want it to be as special for you as it was for me. What do you like from a man?"

"Well, don't think that I don't like what I get from Benedict, but I don't always want to be the well-fucked whore. I like being romanced, too. I've played my husband for you. What would it be like if you played your husband for me?"

"Well frankly, I think it might be boring for you. Maybe not. About all I can say for him is that he's at least very concerned about whether I come or not."

"That alone would be refreshing, Cath. Maybe you don't know how good you have it."

"I guess, but we've had to develop a routine, because otherwise he would usually come too quickly. I like to come at the same time or just before him."

"Hmmmm. Well since you won't have a problem with not staying hard, maybe you could modify that accordingly and give it a try. You know that I've always thought he was handsome, so I'll imagine he's doing what you're doing and see if that helps alleviate the boredom. Don't worry, it's just my imagination. So help me pretend to be you while you pretend to be him."

I chuckled, thinking she would hate playing me as much as I did, but since I really didn't know what else to do, or how else to fuck a woman, I agreed.

"I've never had anything go up my ass before, Kyra, and that looks awfully big."

Kyra showed me a tube and said, "Don't worry. This is a special creme. It's super slippery and it has something in it that will soothe and help dilate you. Don't ever put a big dollop of this up your ass before you go out in public. But don't worry, the effect wears off in about 15 minutes."

We undressed and I laid back on the bed and pulled my legs up. I covered my face because it was so embarrassing to be so exposed. I thought she was going to put it directly on the metal ball at the back end of her dildo, but instead, she must have put a little creme on her finger and started rubbing it on my asshole. I shuddered at her touch. "Oh, god, Ky. This is so... intimate."

"Fingers go in a lot easier and then after you relax a little, the other thing slips right in."

"Yeah, sure. I'll believe that when monkeys fly out of my butt."

We were both still laughing when she first tried to push her finger in, but I just couldn't relax enough to let it in.

"Wow, that's tight. I know how to twist my finger in just like a doctor, so do you want me to try that?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hey!"

When I wasn't expecting it, she had leaned over and licked my clit and as soon as I reacted her finger slipped right in. "That was sneaky, Ky."

"Well, it worked." I could hear the grin in her voice, but I still couldn't uncover my face.

She started to stroke her finger gently in and out and I tried to relax and then it just happened. Her finger was moving in and out without resistance, and then a second finger went in right beside it. Soon, she was pulling both fingers all the way out and then easily reinserting them as my relaxed hole just stayed relaxed. I finally uncovered my face.

The creme was making my butthole feel a little numb and a little warm, but it was wide open when Kyra lifted the dildo up and pulled her fingers out. I felt the cold metal ball go in, stretching my hole as it penetrated the first inch or two, but it was all in before I could react. I involuntarily clamped down hard on the thin metal shaft and tried to expel the bulb, but Kyra held it in until I relaxed again.

"Wow, that wasn't so bad."

The longer shaft went into my pussy quite easily, and even though the two shafts needed to be a little closer together for a perfect fit, I was pretty comfortable. I dropped my legs back down to the floor, and held my new cock, as she fastened the straps over my hips and behind me. She hooked the little metal balls on beneath it and said, "Voila! The perfect lover. Walk around a little and get used to it."

I did, and the sensation in my holes was strange, but not unpleasant. The weight of the dong as it swung around in front of me was more strange. I jiggled and wiggled my hips to feel how it reacted and Kyra laughed. "Okay, Cath, now you've got a big, proud, hard cock. What would your husband do to you with it?"

I guided her into a typical love making session with my husband. We started by spooning on the bed.

"Mmmm, I like the way your cock feels against the back of my legs, Cath."

"Well, I wouldn't feel anything at this point. If his cock was already hard, it would either go soft or go off long before he got me turned on."

I caressed her back and lightly scratched it. I love to have my back scratched and then softly rubbed.

"Ahhh. That feels good. Not sexy, but good."

When my hand got down to her ass, I gave it a couple of playful squeezes. "This is usually the point where I know that he's willing if I am."

"You make it sound so...."

"Boring?"

"No, tender and loving."

"Well, after this many years, it's just routine."

"Okay, what next?"

"When I'm already interested, I turn onto my back, but if I'm just ready to be interested, I turn and face him.

That lets him know not to expect me to be ready quickly."

She turned and faced me. "I feel like I should put my hands on this cock now or something."

"I don't do that. If I did, he would think I'm ready. Next we kiss."

I kissed her and we really got into it for a bit, but then it became clear that she was waiting for more. I started to play with one her nipples, very gently at first. "Turn on your back when you're ready for me to do more."

She immediately turned onto her back and I could now suck on her closer nipple while gently tweaking the further one. "Mmmmm. That feels good. Bennie is always so much rougher."

"Raise your legs up and spread them a little when you want more."

She immediately raised her legs up and I curled my legs under hers, pressing the dildo agaist her buns. I now stretched the arm that I was laying on over to her far far. I dropped my other hand down to her mound and massaged the top of her slit for a full minute and then dipped my middle finger between her folds.

"Oh, you're wet already."

"I've been wet since I stuck that thing in your butt, Cath."

"I guess I'm just used to not being turned on at this point. Let me know when you're close and I'll put it in."

"Cath, you don't have to worry about going soft. I've been ready for you to put it in since I put that thing in your butt."

"Well why did you turn toward me, then?"

"I wanted to see what you do when you're only 'ready to be interested'. This is... strange. Bennie and I have our signals, but nothing this elaborate. Okay, so now I'm wet, do I get him hard yet."

"Yes, you touch him now. He gets hard fast and then he puts it in."

I inserted the cock, my cock, and started thrusting. I returned my hand to her clit and my mouth to her nipple. That's when I discovered how hard it was to keep paying attention to one hand on one nipple, my mouth on the other, and my other hand on her clit, all while while fucking her with the dildo. I could pretty much set the thrusting on autopilot, but the other three were not easy to maintain. I kept finding that one or two would stop while I paid attention to the third. I had noticed the same thing with my husband and mistook it for lack of interest.

Fortunately, Kyra's breathing was a good guide for what needed doing and she soon started to moan and shudder under me. I felt so proud that I had managed to give her an orgasm. My finger on her clit continued to bring shudders from her for several minutes as I continued to thrust the dildo. Finally, she grabbed my hand and pulled it from her pussy.

"Wow, Cath. That was so... different. So... I've never done so little and had so much fun. You gave me so much stimulation I'm still kinda overloaded. Did that do anything for you?"

"Not really, Ky, but that's okay. I was concentrating on getting you off. I enjoyed doing it, but I'm probably not even wet now."

"Really? And this is how you guys always do it?"

"Yep. About once a week now for quite a few years."

"Once a week, I would go crazy if I only had sex once a week. I'm assuming you both must masturbate."

"Nope, I almost never do, and I don't think he does either."

"Cath, no wonder he doesn't last very long. Most guys his age need to come every two days or so. He probably had sex with his hand five times a week before he met you."

"Really? I had no idea."

"Hmmmm. I'm just curious. How about letting me try all that with you, without the dick?"

"Okay."

Kyra helped me remove the dildo and we got our bodies all arranged so she was tucked up beside me. She started sucking on one nipple, tweaking the other and rubbing my mound. It felt really good and I got wet pretty quickly.

"This is good, Ky. It feels better than when he does it. Oh yeah, this will make me come."

My orgasm was very good. I felt like I was on the brink of an important discovery.

"That was pretty hard to do, Kath. I guess I can see why he could go soft with all that thinking going on. But you didn't take that long to get off. What do you think the difference was."

"Well, there was no question about when you were going to come. You weren't, so I could just enjoy what was happening."

"Cath, there's no rule that says you have to come together. That's romance novel bullshit. That puts way too much pressure on both of you. And it almost seems like you think it's his responsibility to turn you on."

"Well, how will I know if he...." I was thinking, 'How will I know if he loves me?', when I caught myself before saying it.

"If he what, Cath? All you need to know is that he's fucking you. The rest is in your mind. A man like him would lick your pussy after he came in it, if that's what it takes to please you. I know you've been fucking him for a long time and that sometimes gets tedious, but it's up to you to keep your mind in the game."

"Oh fuck, I don't know how, Kyra."

"You know you can rub your own clit while he's fucking you."

"Oh no. I can't masturbate in front of him. I can't even play with my boobs."

I could see the frustration on her face. She was trying to help and I wasn't helping back.

"I swear, Saint Cate, you Catholic girls can be so strange. You did it in front of me while I was fucking you last night. What's the difference?"

"Um, I don't know. It bothered me a little with you, but I got over it. I think it's because you do the same thing, and you're not a Catholic. I can't imagine doing it in front of a man, and especially not my husband. It's too personal."

"Cath, everything about having sex with a man is personal. They see you naked. They feel you intimately, smell your secret sauce and maybe even taste it, and they hear you come. What's the big deal if they see you rub yourself?

"Maybe you're right. I've been trying to reexamine my relationship with him, and maybe understanding things like that will help. We were both raised Catholic and we were taught that it's both shameful and sinful. Maybe it's just plain old-fashioned guilt."

"That sounds possible, Cath. Your situation reminds me of the term 'frigid housewife'."

"Oh, God, Kyra. I don't know which part of that is worse, frigid or housewife. Why do you say that?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I imagine that your life is very busy. Both of you have careers, both of you travel on business, and you have three pre-teens. Now that you have a housemaid, housewife is a less accurate description of you, but sine you have kids, and you only have sex once a week. It's probably usually quick, and late at night, after the kids are asleep. I'll bet you keep it fairly quiet. Does that all sound accurate?"

"Um, yeah."

"Walk a day in your husband's moccasins, Cath. Your wife is on a business trip. She won't be back for three more days and it has already been three since you got laid. You're looking forward to sex where you spend twenty minutes trying to get her motor started. In the process you get a sore wrist and then she lets you put it in. One way or another, it's all over two minutes after you stick it in. You've either succeeded in timing it right or you've disappointed her. She barely participates.

"Meanwhile, you get a come-hither look from some other woman. She doesn't even have to be pretty, just enthusiastic. She's willing to do things your wife won't. Your wife practically gave you away to her. Cath, it would be easy to be enthusiastic about having sex with Dan. He's a good looking guy, he's polite and respectful, and you can tell that he's just boiling to let his passion out. He's bottled up by you, and he's a decent man, but you're expecting him to be a superman."

"You sound like you want to fuck him, Ky."

"I would boink him in a flat second, Cath, but not without your permission. You know that I've always thought he was a good catch."

"But you talked me into giving him my permission."

"Cath, that doesn't mean that I have your permission. I wouldn't go behind your back. And I'm not making excuses for him. I'm just..."

"Not letting me think he deserves all the blame. I think I understand, Ky. But it's so difficult. You're right about the kids and all."

"Cath, as much as we say that our lives are focused on our kids, we can't do the right thing by them if we let our lives suck too much. Carve out enough time alone for yourself, and enough time with your husband, without distraction from the kids. Forget about having sex, just make love."

"That sounds great, Kyra. It just doesn't sound likely. If I'm frigid, maybe it's because my life is focused on my kids, but I can't see a way out, not one that involves my husband."

"Well, if I can put up with Benedict, I don't think you should give up on your husband. Let's just do something to get the ball rolling. You should get a vibrator and do yourself a couple of times a week. Get those juices flowing on your own and maybe that will help."

"I'm willing to try it, Ky. Any suggestions?"

She helped me select a vibrator and we ordered it online and charged it to my new blue card. The tension level around the house dropped after that. I still wasn't doing more for him, but I did look forward to sex with him more and I did enjoy it sooner. But over time, we went back to our same routine.