Disclaimer: The story Hope Springs Eternal is a work of fiction as are the characters. Any semblance to persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.



Hope Springs Eternal

Nobody in this world is perfect, least of all, me. I have done things in the past I should not have done and done things I regret. If I could go back in time, there are things I would have done differently. I am a non-judgemental person and I wonder how people will judge me as I tell a portion of my life. When I reflect on my past I can see Alexander Pope penning the words to his famous poem, “An Essay on Man” (1734), from where the much common used phrase “hope springs eternal” originates. “Hope springs eternal” can best be interpreted as meaning that people always hope for the best, even in the face of adversary. This is my story.

I can recall celebrating my 16th birthday with a small group of school friends. The time in Australia was mid-summer on 10 January 1980. In 1979 I completed year eleven at the Newborough High School and this year is my HSC year where I hope to complete year twelve and gain entry to the University of Melbourne; to study for a Bachelor of Arts (BAJ) degree in Journalism. My desire was to become a journalist as I have always done very well in English and French at school. Hopefully, this profession would allow me to travel around the world and see new cultures. In essence, journalism would provide me with a long working holiday.

I was born and bred in a Victorian township named Yallourn, an aboriginal name meaning “brown coal”. Yallourn, famous for its power stations and large brown coal mines, was closed down and fully evacuated by 1980; for the purpose of excavating the coal deposits beneath the town. Mum, dad, my brother and I, moved to its sister town Yallourn North in 1977. We lived on a small farmlet and my dad worked in one of the nearby coal mines. I never had many close friends but Mary was my closest friend who had been our next door neighbour in Yallourn for 13 years. Mary was a year older than me and had just completed her year 12 in 1979. We played netball and hockey together and used to hang around together a lot. While Mary had a boyfriend and was sexually active, I had never had a boyfriend before as my parents said I was too young to have one. They were very strict and very religious. The only things I had made love to were my fingers and the handle of my hair brush.

On Friday, the day after my birthday, I spent the day at the swimming pool with Mary as it was a hot summer’s day. Mary told me she and her boyfriend were going to the drive-in theatre in Newborough the following night and asked me if I would like to go with them. I accepted her offer and it was arranged that Michael, her boyfriend, would pick us up from her place around 8:30 p.m. In Australia, it is still quite light at 9:00 p.m. as Victoria has had daylight saving time since 1971. On Saturday afternoon, I asked dad if it was alright to go to Mary’s place and stay over for the night, with no mention of the drive-in theatre. I regularly stayed there overnight, just as Mary often stayed over at our place on the farmlet. Dad dropped me off at Mary’s place just after 7:30 p.m. where we talked for close to an hour before Mike came around in his car to pick us up.

Mike was 19 years old and he also had his younger brother, Rodney, who was 17 years old, with him. Mary hopped in the front bench seat with Mike while I was in the back seat with Rod. On dusk, the cartoons began, followed by the support movie. The guys bought us refreshments during the intermission and we then sat down to watch the feature movie. The movie was a rerun of the acclaimed dual Oscar Award winner of 1971, The Last Picture Show; magnificently directed by Peter Bogdanovich. Mary and Mike spent much of the movie necking and kissing and whatever else that was hidden by the front seat. During the movie, Rod moved closer to me and he put his arm around my shoulder, ever so slowly pulling me closer to him. He had his left arm around my shoulder with his hand dangling in the vicinity of my left breast. I was a little uncomfortable, but I never resisted or pushed him away. Inch by inch, his hand moved closer to my breast, neither of us uttering a word. I was wearing a short tank top covering my bra as well as a short flared skirt and panties. By the end of the movie, Rod had plucked up enough courage to rub my breast through my top and bra. My nipple responded to his advances and I could feel my left nipple hardening.

Mary and Mike often went to the drive-in theatre and on the way home, Mary told me they would make a detour left and drive about a quarter of a mile and park in a clump of trees beside the Yallourn Storage Dam (now named Lake Narracan, I believe). On leaving the drive-in, sure enough, Mike turned left and soon parked his Ford Falcon in between a clump of trees beside the dam. Mary and Mike were soon making out while Rod was now trying to get his hand inside my bra. This was a new experience to me and I didn't know how to react. I was nervous, even teetering on being terrified; but there was something deep inside me wanting to find out where the adventure was leading. With his right hand, he placed it on my knee; and then slowly worked up towards my inner thigh. I took a couple of deep gasps and went to grab his hand. Rod in turn grabbed my hand and placed it on his pants where I could feel a hard lump through them. Things were hotting up in the front seat and Mary suggested to Mike that they take the travelling rug and the pillows that were in the boot of the car and go by the sandy lakeside. As they were leaving, Mary said to me, “be careful Tracey, we will be back in about half an hour.”

Alone in the back seat of Mike’s car, Rod told me how attractive I was and that he would like to be my boyfriend. He asked me if I had ever had sex before and I replied in the negative. Our conversation went something like this…

“Is it alright if I kiss you Tracey?”

“I have never kissed a guy before Rod,” I stammered.

“Would you like to try? It’s real fun. You have beautiful lips and the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen. There is nothing wrong with kissing, I am sure you will like it,” he said.

“Okay Rod, you will have to teach me,” I replied.

We kissed for around 10 minutes and my heart was starting to flutter. No guy had ever kissed me before and I was starting to feel more at ease now. With his left arm around my shoulder and our heads turned towards each other in a kiss, his left hand wandered up my skirt until it rested against my panties. Rod was slowly stroking my pussy through the cotton material of my panties. My heart was now thumping, afraid of the unknown; yet full of anticipation and naively not knowing what else to expect. Rod pulled back and unzipped his trousers without me realizing it. The next thing I felt was his hard erect cock in my hand. My curiosity got the better of me and I glimpsed his hard cock as I started to stroke it.

“Tracey, would you like to fuck?” Rod crudely asked.

“I don’t really want to Rod as I might get pregnant. I am not on the pill or anything,” I replied.

“I promise I will pull out before I cum Tracey, that way you can’t get pregnant,” Rod uttered.

“Are you sure, Rod?”

“Sure I'm sure Tracey. You will love it and you won’t be a virgin any more,” he replied.

After feeling his hard, hot cock and being aroused when he rubbed my pussy through my panties, I consented to have sex with him. Rod got out of the back seat and asked me to take my top off. Rod took his pants and underpants off, revealing a still very hard cock about 6 inches long. His cock was thick, had a slight curve in it, and it had a smooth head that resembled a German soldier’s helmet. Rod leant through the open door and gave me a kiss. Once again he told me how attractive I was and that I make his cock harder than anyone else before. Rod then took hold of the elastic on my panties, pulled them down to my ankles and then removed them.

“Tracey, you have such a wonderful looking hairy pussy and your tits are the best I have ever seen.”

After some more kisses, Rod dragged my naked body to the edge of the bench seat. He spread my legs and raised my knees so that they were straddling his shoulders. Rod then entered me with little trouble as I was very moist. His cock felt so much better than the handle of my hair brush. It wasn't very long before Rod said that he was close to cumming.

“Pull out Rod, pull out! I don’t want to get pregnant,” I shouted anxiously.

As Rod was pulling out he ejaculated, with a stream of cum splattering against my still open pussy lips. The next 3 or 4 streams splattered over my tummy but in decreasing intensity. He leaned over me until the last drops petered out. We were both breathing very heavily for what seemed an eternity. We then cleaned up the mess, got dressed and waited until Mary and Mike returned. Mike drove us back to Mary’s place where I spent the night. In bed, I told Mary that I was no longer a virgin.

During the rest of the summer holidays, the four of us went to the drive-in theatre on the next two Saturday nights. Each time we went parking after the show and had sex. Rod had bought some condoms to make sure we had safe sex. On the following day (Sunday, 26 January), I was due for my period. Like clockwork it happened, so thankfully I did not become pregnant after my first sexual interlude with Rod. Funnily enough, although there was bleeding, it didn’t seem like my normal periods though. It was a little lighter and it just felt different somehow, two days later it had stopped so it must have just been my imagination.

A week later, School started on the first Tuesday in February. I was about to embark on my HSC which is year 12 in the secondary school system in Australia; a prerequisite entry to any of the Victorian universities providing higher qualifications. Older readers would have known the year as the matriculation year and also the VCE year. The subjects I selected for my HSC were English, English Literature, British History, Economics, French, Geography and Art Appreciation. To my chagrin, Rod had dumped me for some other easy lay. I guess I was just one of his conquests and I felt cheated. The upside was that there would be no distractions to my most important year at school.

The first week of school went smoothly with plenty of books to read and lots of homework to do. I could tell this was going to be one long, hard year. That weekend I had felt a little nauseous on waking which I put down to something I ate and due to the very hot weather. The following week at school, I was feeling very unwell at school and excused myself from class and threw up in the toilets. Each day I felt a bit queasy on awakening and I didn't feel like having any breakfast, but by lunchtime, I was feeling a lot better. I missed my next period late in February and I became a little nervous, even frightened. I didn't know what was happening but I didn't want to tell my mum and get her worried over nothing.

In early March my class had a free period at school one morning, so I made an appointment to see a local GP at the nearby medical clinic, a short distance from the school. I told the doctor that I had been feeling nauseous for over a month and I also missed my last period but not the one before. The doctor thought I may very well be pregnant but she insisted on taking a pregnancy test to be sure. Before long, she confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. On asking her for an explanation on my period back in January, she assured me that it was not a period at all. I learned that it is common to have some bleeding due to hormonal changes within my body and she mentioned something about “early pregnancy bleeding”. The doctor asked me if I had mentioned anything to my parents and I said no and I would be too scared to tell them. The doctor strongly advised me to make an appointment with Doctor Parsons who was the resident obstetrician/ gynaecologist . She was adamant that I tell my parents, at least my mother; and have her accompany me on my visit to Doctor Parsons.

Two weeks later I went with my mother to see Doctor Parsons who gave me a thorough examination and confirmed that I was about nine weeks pregnant. After getting home, mum really gave me a lecture and I broke down and cried. It got even worse when dad came home after work and mum told him I was pregnant. He demanded to know who the father was and why I went out with a guy and had sex. It took about a week before things settled down in the house and dad was becoming more civil towards me. Mum and dad are both very religious and ruled out the possibility of having an abortion as it would mean taking a life. They told me I could not keep the baby after it was born and that it would be given up for adoption to a good home. I felt really angry and let down as I had no say in the matter. During that year, I had monthly visits to my gynaecologist up until when my baby was born.

June 1980, was a hectic and rewarding moment in my life. I sat for my half yearly exams and was second top in my class; even with all the distractions that had afflicted me through my pregnancy. My teacher knew about my pregnancy by then, but my classmates never knew at this stage. I was now 5 months pregnant and my nausea and morning sickness had stopped. I also had my first ultrasound examination showing a healthy boy developing. Being mid-winter now, I now wore a knee high tunic to school that covered the development of my baby bump. By August, other students were starting to comment on my changing physical shape; they teased me saying I must be pregnant. Before long, everyone in the school knew I was pregnant. I felt belittled, like a walking freak show. Mum and dad wanted to take me out of school and I could repeat year 12 the following year. I was adamant that I was going to finish this year and go to university next year.

I still remember 9 October very well. In the late evening before going to bed, my waters broke. I told mum and she said she would take me into hospital the following morning to see Doctor Parsons. On arrival at the hospital he admitted me to the maternity ward. A couple of hours later I went into labour which I found to be a quite traumatic experience for the first time, not knowing what to expect or for how long it would last. At 11:30 p.m. on Friday, 10 October 1980, I gave birth to a baby boy. I asked Doctor Parsons if I could hold him, but he said that there was a complication and my baby had to be taken to the operating theatre. I was terrified, what had happened? I was in a panic. Shortly afterwards my parents came in to see me and how I was going. I told them that something was wrong and my baby was taken away. I was beside myself; I was in tears with worry. About 30 minutes later, Doctor Parsons came in; and I can still recall those fateful words. “I am sorry Miss Ames but your baby is dead. The baby had swallowed some meconium inside me just prior to the birth and he choked on it.” I broke down and was inconsolable. I knew I had to give the baby up for adoption, but to have held him first and knowing he was going to a good home would have been some comfort. I was given a sedative to see me through the night. Two days later I was released from hospital and went home.

I missed the first 3 days of school that week to recover from the birth. Our learning classes had finished...