"So how was your week been, Alice?"
Well that's a loaded question I thought to myself
"It's been... Confusing... Everything just seems like a mess right now," I said nervously.
"Well how about we talk about this mess then Alice?"
"Oh, where to begin? I guess we should start with this fact that I suspect my husband is having an affair with a younger woman," I said as my nails unconsciously scratched the white denim-like fabric of my pants.
"And what makes you think that?"
I leaned back on the black leather couch and stared at the ceiling. A wave of anxiety rushed over me as I nervously tried to find the words to explain. I focused on the dim pot lights in the ceiling as I reflected on everything that's been happening in the past few weeks.
"Well, I guess it all started last month. I went to grab my husband's phone and the password was different. Which is unusual because we always shared passwords. We never had any secrets from each other. So then one day while we were in the car I asked to use his phone. I told him that mine was dead. When he handed me his phone I asked what the password was. He acted as if he forgot he had changed it. When I finally opened his phone I started snooping around. I noticed he had a Snapchat account which was unusual for him because he hates social media."
"I open the app and noticed that he only had one chat active. So I opened the chat and there was nothing there. The contact's name was Angel Eyez. I can only assume that's a girl's username. I looked through his text messages and call records but there was nothing there and then I got to his photo gallery. I almost dropped the phone when I saw pictures of him standing topless in front of the mirror. I certainly wasn't getting these pictures. And then I opened the screenshots folder and saw a bunch of pictures of a half-naked teenage girl. I couldn't see her face but I just put two and two together and assumed that she was the one receiving his topless pictures."
"I see," said my therapist, Dr. Nolan, as she jotted something down on her notepad.
This was my first time seeing Dr.Nolan. She was referred to me by a co-worker that I vent to now and then. I never really thought about seeing a therapist before because they always seem like the same old thing. I talk, they listen, no real useful input that I didn't already know. And all for the cheap sum of $300 an hour. I could buy a frozen turkey and talk to that. It would probably have the same effect and be a lot cheaper... But you never know until you try, right?
"Have you tried talking to him about it?" Dr. Nolan asked.
"No," I sighed.
My nails started scratching harder into my pants. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. The smell of repurposed wood from Dr.Nolan's Urban industrial style office filled my nose. The red brick was very cold but then the wood beams and pillars seemed very warm and inviting. The office was very stylish. What a confusing place to be in when you're feeling vulnerable.
"Why haven't you tried to talk to your husband about it yet?"
I sat silently as I really didn't have a good answer. I guess I was just afraid. Afraid that I was wrong, even more so that I was right. I suppose I was just trying to remain ignorant. The less I knew the less it would bother me.
"Okay, well, why don't we move on to something else for now and we can come back to that later," Dr. Nolan said as she continued scribbling in her notepad. "You did say that was just the first thing right?"
"Yeah, the other thing is my daughter Lindsay. She seems very distant to me lately and started acting up. She's not the same girl I used to know."
"Oh okay, how old is Lindsay?"
"She is 16."
"That is a difficult age," Dr. Nolan said. "And how has she been acting up?"
"Well... We barely talk anymore and anytime we do talk it just seems to turn into an argument. Almost like she has to have an issue with every single thing I say. She is also missing a lot of school and is dressing much more provocatively, especially around the house."
"And what do you consider provocative?"
"She wears a lot of shorts that are incredibly short and very small crop tops," I said nervously as my body started to perspire. I could feel the silk fabric of my black camisole starting to stick to my skin. I felt very awkward talking about my daughter's attire with a stranger.
"Well that does seem to be the style nowadays," Dr. Nolan said dismissively.
I shot a very judgmental glare at her. "Not in my house it isn't!"
"I see," she said as she started writing again. "Okay, how does she dress around the house?"
"She wears almost nothing!" I said anxiously as I gripped the leather couch. The leather started to squeak as I clenched it tighter and tighter.
"Almost nothing?"
"Yes!" I said as I stared at the window looking at the adjacent building while I tried to collect my thoughts. "Sometimes she will walk around the house wearing just panties and a loose tank top with no bra. Her nipples easily poke through the fabric for everyone to see and her ass is on full display."
"I see…" Dr. Nolan said as she once again scribbled in her notepad. A silence filled the room and the only sound I could focus on was that of Dr. Nolan's pen scratching on the paper.
"Are you jealous of her?"
"What!?! Jealous of what???"
"Please don't be offended and allow me to explain."
"Okay…"
"You seem to be in very good shape for a woman of 38, so I'm going to assume that you take very good care of your body and you care a lot about your appearance?"
"Well... Yes…"
"Well, your daughter is at that age where her body is probably almost fully developed and if she is anything like you I'm going to assume she is incredibly attractive. It's very possible that seeing her flaunt it reminds you of what you looked like when you were younger and before you had children?"
I was silent once again as I contemplated what Dr. Nolan had just said. It made sense and maybe I was jealous. Subconsciously at least. And if I was jealous then perhaps the one that's creating tension in the relationship is actually me?
"I hadn't thought about that before…"
"Maybe you should go shopping together? It could be a good bonding experience and maybe you could buy yourself something more provocative as well. No reason you can't show off a little skin. You have the body for it."
"Yeah... Okay... I guess that's a good idea."
"One question regarding your daughter. You said she argues with you, talks back a lot, and has also become distant. Is she also like this with her father?"
"No, not at all. She is the very definition of a daddy's girl."
"Interesting," Dr. Nolan said as if she had realized something that I hadn't. I peeked over and saw a little smirk on her face as her pen scratched furiously in her notepad.
"What?!" I asked slightly frustrated
"Oh, nothing, just taking notes."
Well, no shit...
I waited patiently for Dr. Nolan to finish scribbling. I tried to figure out what she found so interesting but nothing came to mind. I thought therapy was supposed to be making me feel better but so far it's was just stressing me out.
"Would Lindsay ever consider coming in to talk to me?"
"For what?" I asked very confusedly.
"I just think if I was able to talk to her it would better help me understand the situation so I can help you both."
"Huh... Okay, I can ask but I know this won't go over well."
"That's fine. No harm in trying. If it's any incentive I won't charge for her sessions."
Now I was even more confused. Why did she want to talk to my daughter? Dr. Nolan seemed to be acting strangely now.
"Well our time is almost up, how about we finish this session with something positive. Why don't you tell me something that you are looking forward to?"
"Well... my son is going to be coming home from college for the summer. I suppose I'm looking forward to that."
"Oh, that's nice. How old is your son?"
"He is 18. Is in his freshman year of college. I'm so proud of him. He is such a smart guy."
"Are you and your son very close?"
"We were before he headed off to college. Now Dylan and I just have our weekly phone calls of whatever... Chit chat... How're things and what's new, stuff like that."
"Well, at least you are talking. It seems like you are very fond of him?"
"Of course I'm fond of him. He's my son." I said condescendingly as if the answer should have been obvious.
"Well yes, but you seem to glow when you talk about him specifically. I'm going to assume that he is a very attractive young man as well? Does he more resemble you or his father?"
"Yes he is very handsome," I said with emphasis trying to correct Dr. Nolan's inappropriate use of the word attractive. It almost seemed as if she was trying to insinuate that I was attracted to my son. He is very good looking and in incredible shape but I have never thought of him like that.
"He mostly resembles me. He got my dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. Lindsay, on the other hand, got most of her father. She has his dark brown hair and green eyes."
"Interesting…"
There's that word again…
"Well, that's all the time we have for today. Why don't we schedule something for next week on the same day and time?"
"Sure okay."
"And don't forget about shopping with Lindsey and asking her to come to see me."
"I won't," I said as I headed out the door of the office.
Later that day…
I got home later in the day after doing some shopping and found Lindsay sitting on the couch wearing nothing but a pink bra and black yoga shorts.
"Lindsay! What are you wearing?? Your dad is going to be home soon." I shouted.
"Well hello to you too," Lindsay said as she rolled her eyes. "I don't think Dad will mind what I'm wearing."
"Well, I mind. Your brother is going to be home next weekend and you can't be dressing like this anymore."
"I don't think Dylan's going to mind either mom. He has probably seen so many tits in college that they don't even affect him anymore." Lindsay said chuckling to herself.
I don't know why but that comment really upset me. It didn't help that I had Dr. Nolan's voice saying the word "interesting" over and over again in the back of my head. Going to the therapist really messed with my head. I shouldn't have even agreed to go for a second session.
"Just please cover up a little bit more Lindsey. For me?" I said with a smile as I attempted to change my attitude.
"Fine!" she said as she rolled her eyes again.
Lindsay started getting up to change. Suddenly I remembered what Dr. Nolan asked me to do.
"Oh, Lindsay hold up on second."
"What?" She replied with a glare.
"So... I started seeing a therapist and…" I started saying before Lindsay interrupted me.
"Wait! You're seeing a shrink?"
" ... Yes, to help me through a couple of things."
"Is everything okay?" she responded sympathetically.
Lindsey actually seemed genuinely concerned. I can't remember the last time I've seen this type of sincerity from her.
"Yes, everything's fine. I've just been so busy lately. It's nice to have someplace to vent."
"Oh... Okay."
"Anyway, she said that she would like to talk to you too."
"Talk to me? About what? Have you been talking about me to your shrink?" Lindsay quipped angrily.
"No... Well yes, but nothing bad I promise. I'm not really sure why she wants to talk to you."
"Okay... Weird…when?"
"Good question," I said as I pulled out my phone and texted Dr. Nolan. Her response was quick.
"Tomorrow after school?"
"Yeah okay fine whatever," Lindsay said as she stormed upstairs.
I headed into the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. Lindsey didn't come back downstairs until my husband got back home. It sounded like a freight train coming down the stairs as Lindsay ran excitedly to greet her father.
"Daddy!!" Lindsay squealed.
I peeked out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion was and saw Lindsay straddling her father. Her legs wrapped around him tightly while his hands were placed firmly on her ass supporting her.
I was very relieved to see that she had a shirt on. It was a very short purple crop top but a shirt nonetheless. Still better than a bra, or so I thought.
Lindsey kissed her father on the lips before hopping down to the ground. It wasn't unusual since they always kissed on the lips since she was a child. However, the kisses were lasting longer and longer every time. I never thought much of it before now. The word "interesting" kept running through my head causing me to question everything I see now.
When Lindsay jumped down I noticed just how short her crop-top really was. She definitely wasn't wearing a bra anymore since I could see the bottom of her round supple breasts peeking out from the bottom of her shirt. I was about to speak up and tell her to change again but before I could get the words out her father commented first.
"You look beautiful today," Brad said with a large grin on his face.
"Thanks, Daddy," Lindsay said before doing a little ballerina twirl.
As she lifted her arms her shirt lifted with them and I could see the bottom of her rosy nipples start to peek out. I couldn't say anything now though. If I did then I would seem like an evil mother for sure. Especially since her father already approved of her outfit.
I went back into the kitchen and continued slicing tomatoes for the salad, waiting patiently for my husband to come in and greet me. It didn't come along very often anymore. For the last year, Brad and I had grown apart. I couldn't even remember the last time we had sex.
Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, I thought to myself as I looked down at my loosely hanging shirt that didn't show off my body at all.
Maybe I could start dressing a little bit sexier I pondered. I decided I would take Dr. Nolan's advice and go shopping with Lindsay. It would probably be a good idea for both of us.
I decided to go out and greet Brad myself. I walked up behind Lindsay and Brad as they cuddled on the couch watching sports highlights. I leaned over Brad's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. It seemed to startle him as he quickly moved his arm that was wrapped around our daughter.
Was his hand on her breast???
I decided to bite my tongue and stay on task.
"So Lindsey?"
"Yeah?" she replied with a bit of a sour tone while keeping her focus on the TV.
"I could pick you up after school and we can go shopping after the thing tomorrow. What do you think?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Shopping for what?" she replied with the same attitude as always.
"Some clothes. I think I need to update my wardrobe."
"You always look beautiful honey," Brad said as he looked at me with a smile.
"Well I was thinking about getting something special for you too," I said winking.
Lindsay finally turned to look at me but was almost glaring for some reason. Brad giggled with a cute stupid smirk on his face. It was clear he didn't mind that idea.
"Come on Lindsay! It'll be fun. You're more fashion-forward than I am and I could really use your help staying on-trend."
Lindsay finally smiled a little bit.
Maybe I should start giving her more compliments.
"Okay Mom, yeah sure. I'm going to skank you out," Lindsay said giggling.
"What does that even mean?" I said confused, wondering if skank meant something different than it used to. Lindsey just giggled.
The next day...
I went to pick Lindsey up from school but she made me meet her at the convenience store down the street. Apparently, it's too embarrassing to be picked up by your mother from school. I guess I can kind of understand that.
She was silent on the drive over to Dr.Nolan's office. I was afraid of how she would be after the session. I know I was a mess the last time I left her office. I decided to wait in the car and play candy crush while she went in.
About an hour and a half went by before Lindsay finally emerged from the office. She didn't look upset or angry or anything.
"So how did it go?" I asked as Lindsay got back in the car.
"Good actually," Lindsay replied as she buckled her seatbelt.
I decided not to pry. Those sessions are supposed to be private anyway.
Lindsey's attitude was actually a little different now. She seemed kind of excited to be spending time with me. Or maybe she was just excited about new clothes. Either way, it was just nice to see her smile around me for once.
At the mall...
We went to a few stores. I picked up some basic stuff like t-shirts, jeans, some beachwear, and other little things. And then we ended up at Victoria Secret Pink. This wasn't really my kind of store. It's someplace more geared towards younger girls so I felt a little bit out of my element, however, it might be good to try something younger.
Lindsay found the pair of very tiny grey shorts and held them up to me.
"Hey mom, try these on! These would look great on you."
"They're so small," I replied as I looked at the tiny piece of fabric with the word pink stitch down the side.
"Come on Mom, just try it. You said you wanted to update and stay on-trend...