The heavy beat of dance music thumped and throbbed around me as I moved on the floor. I let the music take over; let my body sway and writhe in time to that beat. Danny, the young man I had picked up at the club’s bar, had his hands on my waist, then slid them down to my hips as he danced behind me.

He moved in close, and I pressed back against him, rubbing my ass against the swelling in his slacks. The young man pushed back and his hands wandered over my slim form. My pussy moistened at the simulated sex, dampening the tiny thong that was the only underwear beneath the thin fabric of my party dress.

I turned to face my new friend, placing my hands on his shoulders. Danny pulled me close in his big arms. Our mouths touched lightly, then opened for a deeper, fiercer kiss. That sent a ripple of excitement through me as I moved against him once again, longing to be free of our clothing so I could dance skin-to-skin with him.

Deep inside, I couldn’t believe that this was happening the night before my wedding. When I agreed to go to the club with my friend Marcy, it had just been a way to get out of her apartment and away from the wedding plans that had dominated my life for weeks. I had moved in with my maid of honour for the week before the wedding. My own apartment was packed in boxes, ready to move to my husband’s place after the honeymoon.

“Jules, there’s a great party happening at Mayhem tonight and I’d really like to be there,” my maid of honour had said, “Are you okay with me being out tonight? I’ll be early, I promise.”

“Can I come?” I had asked, “I’d rather be there than sitting here having the pre-wedding jitters by myself.”

“Sure, but be warned. This place gets a bit crazy,” she had responded, “And I might, too.”

So, I dug out a sexy little dress and thong from the stuff I’d packed for the honeymoon, and got dressed up for a night on the town.

I hadn’t considered that I might get a bit crazy as well. Moving close to my new friend, all thoughts of my wedding and fiancé seemed to fade. There was only the dark, handsome young man in front of me, his lips and hands touching me in intimate ways.

When the DJ segued into another tune, we retreated to a back booth where Marcy was making out with Danny’s buddy Rob. My friend’s top was undone allowing Rob’s hand inside to play with her big tits. Rob was squeezing and stroking her breasts as they kissed and nibbled each other’s lips, ears, necks.

Danny slid into the seat across from them. Joining him, I put my arms around Danny’s neck and kissed him, feeling his lips on mine, his tongue probing past them. The young man’s hand caressed my thigh, sliding higher until it was underneath my little dress. Fingers touched my pussy and I opened my legs a little to admit his hand. I placed a hand on the bulge in his pants and massaged it tenderly. He felt big, probably bigger than the only other cock I had experienced.

Our tongues slid around each other as Danny fingered me and I played with his cock. The noise and music of the club seemed to fade as I lost myself in the young man’s kisses and caresses. He found my clit and began slow, circular strokes around it. My body stiffened and then relaxed as a mild climax rolled through it. I gasped, a little startled by the orgasm, then eagerly unzipped Danny’s pants to pull out his erect penis. It was indeed big, both long and thick. Precum glistened on the tip. I stroked it lightly with my fingers as I gazed into the young man’s eyes.

“Fuck, you’re a horny bitch,” he gasped.

I just smiled, my mind more on the feeling between my thighs than on what to say back. I wanted, even needed, his cock in my pussy. It was so long and thick that I knew it would fill me in a way my fiancé’s never had, but I was not sure if this was the place or time to do it.

“Um, folks, can you please take this somewhere else, eh? Like, get a room,” said a gruff, bass voice, as if to answer my thought. It sounded more weary and amused than angry.

We all looked over to see the bouncer, a tall heavyset man, watching us from close-by. He wasn’t bad looking and I found myself speculating on what was in his pants. Giggling at that thought, I put Danny’s cock back and zipped him up. Marcy, also giggling a little, closed up her top. Then the four of us, all consumed by an attack of the giggles, headed out the door.

“Where to?” Marcy asked when we got to the parking lot.

“Our place?” suggested Rob, “We rent a nice little bungalow on Stone Hill overlooking the conservation area. Very cozy and private.”

“I’m in,” I said, “That sounds lovely.”

“Me, too,” added Marcy, “Just give me the address. I can find it on my phone.”

We were soon in her car heading out towards the neighbourhood known simply as “The Hill.”

“I can’t believe I’m seeing this in you, Jules,” Marcy said, “It’s like a different person.”

“I know. I mean, I’ve been wrestling a bit with my feelings recently; wondering if there were things I was missing or giving up by marrying Curt now but …,” I hesitated, looking for words, “But now I know there are. God, I want Danny badly.”

Marcy smiled.

“So what about Curt?”

“I’ll worry about Curt tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to know what it feels like to have sex with no strings, no relationship. It’s like a fantasy that I never knew I had is coming true. Even if I go ahead with the wedding, at least I’ll know I knocked that fantasy off my list.”

“You are really waking up, girl. I’ve been wondering if that would ever happen. Fun times ahead, I think.”

The guys’ place was easy to find at the end of a little cul-de-sac on the edge of the hill. Danny opened the door with a big grin on his face. Our new friends were college students, a few years younger than us, that we had picked up early on at the club. Both men were athletic, with shapely muscular bodies. In fact, they were so alike that they could almost have passed for brothers save that Rob was Black and Danny was Latino.

Marcy gave Danny a quick hug, then slipped by him to find Rob. I started off hugging Danny, but he soon had me pinned to the wall as we French-kissed. My hand found its way to his cock again, feeling the now familiar bulge in his slacks. The young man put a hand on one of my tits, massaging it roughly through the thin fabric of my dress as we kissed. I had calmed a bit while with Marcy but the heat rose again rapidly at the touch of his hand and lips.

Pushing Danny back, I caught my breath as I quickly slipped my dress off. With only my thong on, I struck a pose. My lover’s eyes bugged at the sight of my nakedness, which pleased me immensely. As a slender girl with small breasts and not much out back, I did not always get the appreciative looks that Marcy’s curvy hourglass did.

As Danny began to quickly undo his shirt, I moved in and got his belt unfastened, then his zipper. Dropping to my knees when his pants were undone, I pulled them down to release that huge cock. He was hard, though not fully, and I eagerly put the head between my lips to begin sucking him off. As I did, I teased and tickled his balls and thighs with my fingers. While I wasn’t as experienced with men as Marcy, my fiancé did enjoy a good blowjob so I’d had a fair bit of practice on that front, though on a much smaller penis.

“Oh God, Julia, that’s good,” Danny said, watching intently as I took him in further. Given the size of Danny’s cock, I doubted I could deep throat him without gagging, but I wanted it as far in my mouth as I could take.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the living room. Marcy was naked and sprawled in a big armchair with Rob on the floor in front of her, obviously going down on her. Her hands were on her tits, playing with them as he pleasured her. Her eyes closed and she moaned loudly, obviously having an orgasm from his cunnilingus. My own pussy was begging for attention, but lips and tongue weren’t what it needed. The monster in my mouth was.

Releasing Danny, I stood and, holding him by the cock, led the young man to the living room.

“Lie down, Danny Boy,” I commanded, “On your back.”

He didn’t need to be told a second time, quickly lying down. I slid my thong off, then straddled Danny as best I could with my much smaller body. Once I found a comfortable position, I lowered myself on to his rigid cock.

“Oh, my God!” I gasped at the feeling of it inside me. His thick rod was actually stretching my opening.

“Okay?” he asked, sounding a bit worried.

“Never better,” I replied, starting slide up and down on his pole, “You really fill me up, baby.”

“Shit, you’re tight,” he said, a bit breathless, “Best pussy I’ve ever been in.”

“Thank you,” I responded, “I love your cock, too. So thick.”

Danny and I were silent after that have for breathless moans, gazing at each other as I rode him. His hands explored my body, stroking my thighs, belly, tits. I did the same to what I could reach of him.

As we enjoyed ourselves, Rob lay down next to us. Grinning, Marcy mounted his cock, which was also a beauty. My friend and I smiled at each other and began trying to synchronize with one another.

It was the guys who came first, first Rob, and then Danny. Danny’s orgasm was another different sensation for me. His cock fit so tightly in me that I could feel every pulse as it pumped its load out. For a moment, I just slid down, taking him in as far as I could, and held Danny’s cock deep inside me, feeling his cum erupting. Then I moved slowly against him, grinding my clit against his body until, with a yelp, I erupted myself.

“Oh God, this is amazing!” I cried out at the climax that exploded from my nether regions to envelope my whole body.

After a long orgasm, I slipped off my lover’s cock tired and sated and lay down atop him. We kissed, then Danny held me close for a while. Marcy and Rob were cuddling, too. Some time later, I’m not sure how long, Danny carried me to his bedroom and we snuggled down for some sleep.

-----

I panicked at first when I awoke the next morning, surprised to find myself in a room other than Marcy’s spare. Then I looked at Danny and memories of the previous night flooded back. The young man was still sleeping soundly. I smiled at him, then slipped quietly from the bed.

My head was aching a little, a hangover from the several cocktails I had imbibed at the club. Wandering out to the guys’ kitchen, I found that their coffee machine had been set up on its timer. I found some mugs in their cupboard and poured myself a cup, then went out on the patio.

Rob had been right about the view. Their patio overlooked a wooded area around a small lake. Bird songs drifted up to me as I stood on the patio sipping coffee.

“What a night,” I said to the wind, “I never thought it could be like that.”

And then it came to me: I had awoken in another man’s bed on the morning of my wedding day. I closed my eyes tight, my headache worsening as I began to tense up.

“Oh Jesus!” I exclaimed as the implications flooded through my mind, “Now what?”

Getting married was now a non-starter for me. I simply could not see giving up what I had enjoyed so much the previous night to be a faithful wife. The thrill of letting my sexual desires loose had given me an incredible high. Curt was a wonderful man but even that was no longer enough for me. Perhaps it should have been, but in that time and space, it was not.

Going inside, I found my smartphone and returned to the patio. Opening the mail app, I found Curt’s address and wrote a short, hopefully heartfelt, message about what I was doing and why. I read it over twice, then tapped send.

The tension subsided. I had done what needed doing. Some might argue I should have called, or even asked to talk to my fiancé face-to-face. In that moment, though, I just couldn’t handle the pleading and arguing that would have resulted. Putting down my phone, I took a sip of coffee and stared out at the woods again.

“Hey there. How are you?” said a husky male voice behind me.

I turned to find Rob standing there, topless in sweatpants. The morning sun illuminated his skin, smooth and dark as fine chocolate. The light material of his sweats showed off his cock beneath, which suggested a lack of underwear. I was wearing my dress from the night before with nothing underneath. Rob’s eyes were looking me over with a hungry gleam in them.

“A bit hungover. I don’t get drunk often,” I answered with a yawn, “Your coffee’s good.”

“Danny is a bit of a gourmet. Buys it at a little shop near the campus.”

“Marcy up?”

“Nah. Sleeping like a baby. I think she had more to drink than you.”

“She did,” I confirmed, “But she usually holds her booze better than me, too.”

His cock was looking a bit more prominent now, attracting my attention. Was he getting hard from looking at me or just having a bit of morning wood? The urge to touch it came over me, but I wasn’t sure if I should. He’d been with Marcy and maybe that meant I should look but not touch.

Rob, who must have noticed my attentiveness, moved closer and touched my bare arm. His fingers slid gently over my skin. My heart rate picked up and I felt the first stirrings of arousal.

“Like what you see?” he said softly.

“Yes,” I answered weakly.

Putting my coffee down, I ran a hand over his naked chest. I could feel the muscles beneath his smooth skin. Finally, I slid my hand up behind his neck. Pulling his head down to mine, I kissed him. At the same time, I put a hand down his sweats, feeling the firmness of his stiffening cock with my eager fingers.

“Want it?” Rob hissed.

Truth be told, I did. I wanted his cock in me the way I had wanted Danny’s: Badly. But my ruminations about Curt and my impending wedding were now in the back of my mind raising resistance. Could I really do this again? And on what should have been my wedding day?

My pussy was getting wet, though, and my body was quivering with anticipation of having Rob enter me. It may not have been right, but it was what I wanted. Perhaps it made me a slut, but the craving for sex was now overpowering me.

“I do,” I answered, recognizing immediately the echo, and mockery, of the vow I was supposed to be taking in a few hours. That only made it hotter for me, as I now realized that the forbidden nature of what I was doing was part of the thrill.

Dropping to my knees, I pulled Rob’s sweats down. His cock was maybe a bit longer than Danny’s, but not quite as thick. A rather large, prominent scrotum hung below. The whole package looked beautiful to my eyes. Taking his cock in my fingers, I massaged it while using my other hand to caress and explore his balls.

“Suck me, baby,” he ordered, an urgency in his voice.

“Yes,” I replied, almost trancelike.

Wrapping my lips around Rob’s hard cock, I began sucking it. My hand continued to explore his balls, even moving back to caress his toned ass. This big, dark man was as beautiful, and horny, as Danny had been.

Grabbing the back of my head, Rob pushed his cock in deeper. I was startled at first, but soon got control back and deep throated him as he seemed to want. As I sucked, he moved his hips slowly to gently fuck my mouth and throat. Rob was more aggressive than either Curt or Danny, but I was loving it; loving being used for pleasure by him.

Suddenly, Rob pushed my head back and pulled his cock free.

“Turn around and get down,” he said in a commanding voice.

Knowing what my new man wanted, I did as he asked. Almost as soon as I was in position, Rob’s cock entered me. He wasted no time, but started fucking my dripping pussy with fast, deep thrusts. Maybe Rob’s cock wasn’t as thick as Danny’s, but it still filled me up well.

“Wow, the things I miss by sleeping in,” said a familiar voice from the doorway.

I turned my head to see Danny standing there in boxers. His big cock was hard with morning wood, or maybe from watching me suck Rob’s dick, and made a nice tent in the shorts.

“There’s room for more,” I said with a grin.

Smiling, Danny shed the shorts, then knelt in front of me with his erect cock at my lips. Eagerly, I took him in my mouth and began sucking. Having a cock in either end was another new experience; another pleasure that I had never known I wanted. Another thing I might never have with Curt, I reminded myself.

For a few minutes, there was just grunting and moaning from the men alongside the wet sounds of sucking and fucking as they used my mouth and pussy for their own pleasure. And I took pleasure in being used; in having two cocks to service and to enjoy.

“Fuck, baby, yeah,” Rob finally groaned, his cocking beginning a familiar pulsing inside me.

As his cum splashed inside me, I had Danny in as far I could take his thick member. Rob had barely finished when a huge load of cum poured into my mouth and throat accompanied by a loud moan from Danny. Happily, I swallowed his seed.

Behind me, Rob had pulled out and now had his face under me, buried between my thighs. His tongue worked inside me at first, then began circling my engorged clitoris. As I drew closer, the young man began sucking my clit while fucking me with two fingers. Fortunately, Danny had removed his cock from my mouth and was kneeling back in front of me recovering. Otherwise, I might have bitten his dick as a powerful orgasm made my body shake and spasm.

“Oh yes!” I cried, losing all sense of place and time for a moment, “Oh fuck yes!”

Rob didn’t let up eating me until I had climaxed not once, but twice. Then he pulled out and sat up. I sat up, too, snuggling up against him. Danny pressed in from the other side so that I was soon sandwiched between the two men. I kissed Danny, then Rob, then rested my head on the former’s shoulder.

By the time Marcy finally got up, the guys and I had retreated indoors and were eating a breakfast of toast and fried eggs that Rob had whipped up.

“So, what have you guys been up to while I’ve been snoring?” she asked as she put some bread in the toaster for herself.

“Oh, not much,” I answered, stifling a giggle.

“Just having coffee out on the patio, gettin’ to know each other better,” Danny added with a wink and a grin.

Rob snorted as he tried stifle his own laughter.

“Okay, what did I miss?” Marcy asked with a smile and a shake of her head.

“My first threesome,” I said with a smile.

“Your first … oh my God, we’ve got to talk,” she responded.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“We’ll be back, guys, I just need to discuss something with my friend,” she said with a nod to Rob and Danny.

“Are you really sure about this, Jules?” she asked when we were in Rob’s bedroom with the door shut, “You’ve really gone off the deep end, now.”

“No, I haven’t. I’m not crazy, just enjoying myself.”

“And Curt? The wedding?”

“I emailed him to let him know it’s off and that I’ll discuss it with him once I had time to digest it all myself.”

“You fucking what?” she yelped, though not so loudly that the guys would hear, “You broke up with your fiancé by email?”

“I can’t talk to him yet,” I explained, “I need to think things over, to know what my answers to his questions should be. I’m not good at thinking on my feet, you know.”

“You’ve been doing pretty well so far this weekend. So that’s it? No wedding?”

“Nope. And I need to get away for a few days, too, I think. Just to clear my head and figure out where my life goes from here.”

Marcy looked thoughtful for a moment.

“The Elderwood?” she suggested, “It’s only an hour away.”

“The spa we went to last summer?”

“It’s also a resort,” Marcy said, “My friend Tanya is the assistant manager. She might be able to finagle us a room or two.”

“Why two? Bring the guys?”

“Sure, why not? Provides some entertainment. If we can get two rooms that is. Might be a bit crowded in one.”

“If we have two queen beds like we did last year, it would work,” I pointed out, “And it was hot fucking side by side with you two last night.

“True. I’ll call her. You go talk to Rob and Dan. Don’t mention the wedding, though. Just say that we want to get out of town for a few days and are inviting them to come along.”

-----

The calls began when we were headed North in Marcy’s car. We had run to her place to get some clothes and stuff, then met the guys for lunch before heading up to the Elderwood. Rob and Danny were following in Rob’s truck because they would have to head back before us due to Rob’s work.

I missed the first call because my phone was in my purse in the back seat. By the time I got the purse and had my phone out, it was ringing a second time. Call display showed it was Curt and I sent it to voicemail.

“Damn, didn’t he get the message?” I muttered.

“He probably did, hon. He’s probably not happy about it,” Marcy answered, “I saw this coming, you know.”

A text alert popped up, also from Curt.

“Where are you? What’s going on? Greg says you’re not at Marcy’s place,” he wrote.

I froze for a moment. Had he not seen the email? My mind raced trying to come up with a response. Then I heard Marcy’s phone bleep.

“You better answer, Jules. That’s probably him trying me since he hasn’t heard from you,” my friend said.

I quickly tapped out, “We’re fine Curt. Didn’t you get my email this morning?”

“What fucking email?” Curt shot back, “I didn’t get anything. I have a church full of guests. Get over here.”

My fingers danced frantically over my phone, opening my email app. I knew what was probably wrong.

“Can’t. Not even in town,” I replied to buy time.

When I found the email, I groaned. I had sent it to Curt’s work address by mistake. His employer, a big wealth management firm, was a stickler for security and insisted that work email had to be on a company-issued smartphone and that no personal use was allowed on that phone. I had prevailed on Curt that the work phone had to go off before the wedding and stay home during the honeymoon. Which meant, of course, that he would only have his personal phone with him at the church.

“Fuck. That’s the last time I send critical email while hungover,” I swore, more to myself than Marcy.

“Where?” Curt had asked as I wrestled with the mail app.

“Can’t say right now,” I replied, “Just forwarded the email. Sent it to your work by mistake.”

“Can’t say? Or don’t want to?” was his terse response.

“Both. I really need time away to sort out my feelings, Curt,” I replied, “Read your damn email.”

There was silence after that. I was tense, knowing Curt was finally seeing my break-up message. Marcy was glancing at me, obviously concerned.

“Going well?” she asked, a note of sarcasm in her tone.

“No. But at least he’s got the message now.”

“Why are you doing this, Jules?” Curt finally asked, “I want you here. I need you here. We can talk this out together.”

To my surprise, that tugged at my heartstrings a little. I had expected a blowup, not a plea. It was not enough to make me relent, though there would have been time for us to turn back, get my dress, and get to the church. But it was enough to shake me up a bit.

“We’ll talk when I get back, Curt. We really will,” I texted back, then turned off alerts. I couldn’t take any more.

Marcy looked at me.

“You’re crying, Jules. Are you really sure about this? I can still turn around.”

“I am,” I answered, feeling the moisture on my cheeks for the first time, “Keep going please.”

And I was telling the truth, though I was realizing for the first time that my decision wasn’t going to be a pain-free one.

-----

Warm water bubbled around me as I lounged in the hot tub outside our cabin at The Elderwood. To our surprise, the resort’s two-bedroom cabin had been available at a cheap rate due to a last-minute cancellation. It was a bit removed from the rest of the resort, too, giving the four of us some privacy.

I had already taken advantage of that privacy by wearing only the thong bottom of my new bikini into the water. Danny was next to me in a tiny Speedo, holding and kissing me as we relaxed. His fingers were lightly caressing me under the surface and I was doing the same back. My aborted wedding and near breakdown in the car were forgotten as I lost myself in my enjoyment of the young man’s touch.

Across from us, Marcy and Rob were similarly enjoying each other. Marcy was topless like me, her big soft boobs bouncing lightly in the water. Rob was nibbling her ear and neck while one hand played with her right breast.

Slipping up on to Danny’s lap, I put my arms around his neck. Under the water, his hand began stroking the inside of my thigh, creeping progressively closer to my pussy. I kissed him lightly a couple times, then slid my tongue in for a long, deep French kiss. He moved his hand to my bosom, playing with one of my perky little tits as we kissed again and again.

Shifting my position so I was kneeling with my thighs straddling Danny’s, I maneuvered my breasts in front of the young man’s face. He smiled, then took one in his mouth and began vigorously sucking it. Danny’s hands caressed my thighs, then my ass. Releasing my breast, he smiled at me as he pulled my bottom down. A hand slid between my legs to caress my soft lips.

“Feeling good, baby?” he asked quietly.

“Very. Sit up on the edge, though. I want your cock.”

I got off Danny and he did as asked after slipping his Speedo off to release his dick. He wasn’t fully hard, yet, but it already looked impressive. I knelt in the tub between his open legs and kissed the head lightly. Then I planted a row of kisses along the bottom of his shaft, ending by kissing and sucking on one of his balls. My tongue returned to his head by licking along the shaft then I finally closed my lips around his engorged cock.

“Oh, baby, yes,” he moaned as I started sucking him while teasing him with my tongue at the same time.

I took it slow, gradually bringing more of his cock into my mouth; sucking gently as I worked my mouth along its length.

A hand stroking my back surprised me and I released his cock to look. It was Rob, smiling as his hand slid down my ass to touch my pussy.

Marcy sat on the side of the tub next to Danny and gave him a kiss, her hand stroking his erect cock, which was now glistening with my saliva. He put a hand on one of her big tits, massaging it and pinching the erect nipple. The sight of my friend and my lover pleasuring each other excited me and I watched them in rapt attention until I felt Rob’s cock enter me.

That prompted me to return to sucking Danny’s cock, repeating our threesome of the morning. Danny, meanwhile, had his hand between Marcy’s thighs, playing with her pussy as they kissed again. They stopped kissing, and Marcy closed her eyes. Her breasts rose and fell as her breathing became harder, more intense. Then she let out a little cry and I realized Danny had made her cum.

Rob pulled out of me and we all climbed out on to the deck by the tub. The guys quickly made an impromptu bed using cushions from the loungers on the deck. On that bed, Rob lay down with his legs open and beckoned me. Smiling, I crawled up between his thighs and eagerly took his hard, black cock in my mouth.

As I began sucking his friend, Danny took me from behind, driving his thick cock into my pussy with a single firm thrust. As before, his thickness made the sensation intense and arousing as he began fucking me fast and hard while I continued going down on Rob.

Gazing up, I saw Marcy mount Rob’s face. His tongue went quickly to work, lapping at my friend’s pussy while his hands explored her ass. This was by far the most wild, erotic moment of my entire life. Four people all doing nothing more than trying to drive each other to orgasm. No wedding night could have improved on that.

To my surprise and delight, the two men came almost simultaneously. My mouth and my pussy both flooded with their cum. That double helping of creamy delight sent me over the edge, my body quaking and my vagina squeezing the big tool inside it as I climaxed. Marcy came last, her juices running out on to Rob’s face as she let out a howl of ecstasy.

We all showered and went to bed after that, me with Danny and Marcy with Rob. Danny and I fucked again after hitting the sheets; just quiet gentle sex in missionary position that left us relaxed and sleepy. After that, we spooned, Danny protectively wrapping my small body with his much bigger one, and I quickly fell asleep in that position.

-----

I slept in for once the next day, exhausted by the events of the last twenty-four hours. Danny was gone, already up. After a long stretch, I got out of bed and dug some clothes out of my bag to wear. Marcy was lounging on the couch in the living room sipping coffee. I poured one, too, and joined her.

“So, now what?” my friend asked after a couple minutes.

I answered, “I’ll need to get a place, or at least get my old one back. And then I need to keep finding out about myself and my desires. I’m sure there’s more that to experience even after all the firsts I’ve had with Danny and Rob.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Did I ever tell you about Jerry?” Marcy asked out of the blue.

“A bit. He was your high school sweetheart but you left him when he proposed, right?”

“Bingo,” she responded, “I freaked out when he proposed. I wasn’t ready for it yet, or so I thought. In fact, I had already been fooling around a bit behind his back. Nothing serious, just a make out session here or a quickie there. But definitely not ready to settle down.”

“And did it work out for you?”

“Here I am. It’s been a blast but sometimes on a long cold night, especially when I’m sick or depressed or scared, I really wonder what I missed by turning him away. Some arms to hold me would sure be nice at times and when you live like me, they aren’t always there.”

I sighed and sank into the plush back of the couch. Memories and feelings that I thought were behind me rushed in.

“Marcy, Curt is a wonderful man,” I said, “He was there for me when Mom died. He nursed me through pneumonia last winter. He carried me when I twisted my ankle. But I can’t be his wife right now; not after the last couple nights. I know I’ll end up fucking around or something and then we’re into a divorce, which would be even worse. He’s better off without me until I sort this out, isn’t he?”

“But are you better off without him?” my friend asked.

I had no answer for that.