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In An Instant

"I ran into an ex today"

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22 Comments 22
4.0k Views 4.0k
301 words 301 words
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You took my breath away today.

I must’ve looked ridiculous, standing there in the grocery store, staring at you with my mouth hanging open. It had been ten years since I'd seen your face, your dark hair tucked behind your ears, your full lips. I’d always heard the expression, but until this moment I didn’t understand. 

In an instant, I felt our last kiss, my fingers peeking below your jeans to find lacy secrets.

In an instant, I smelled the stale beer from the bar where we would sneak off to the bathroom together.  

In an instant, I tasted your fruity lip gloss and the wintergreen gum you always chew.

In an instant, I felt the last time we made love, your moist breath in my ear telling me in gasps that you were coming.

In an instant, I felt the heartache of when we parted ways, too stubborn and young to realize what we had.  

In an instant, all the healing and moving on vanished.

In an instant, I fell in love with you again.

In an instant, I realized that I never stopped loving you.   

You took my breath away today.

And I felt ridiculous, standing there in the grocery store, staring at someone who looks enough like you to pass as you at first glance. She probably thought I was crazy, frozen in place with my mouth hanging open like that. And then she walked away, on with her grocery list and her life. But here you still are, hours and many drinks later, haunting me like it was only yesterday that we touched.

I had forgotten about the wintergreen gum. God, I can still feel it, cool on your breath. All I can do is pour another drink and hope I forget again, soon.

 

Published 
Written by Emerson501
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Comments

Beautifully written thank you ~B
I was full of trepidation, would she feel the same? Is she married or with someone else? Oh dear, waiting for the answer and POP what a let down. I can feel his pain. Wow! Good work.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Elizabeth!
thanks to Lauraj, I found this and I'm so happy I did, although I'm writing this thru pools of tears, resting on the bottom of my eyes looking for any reason to fall. I could feel your pain so immensely. Really haunting. It's a rare thing to bring so much emotion to life in so few words.
I've never had someone say that my writing brought tears to their eyes. Thank you so much for this comment. It really means a lot
This was such a lovely and touching story about how sometimes the past can catch up with us and force as to remember everything that has been. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the RR. :)
Thank you Laura! ?
I do adore good flash and this is good flash. At first it reads almost like a poem, but it's a story with a beginning, middle, and an end. Congratulations on a well-deserved RR!
Thank you so much, B. I really appreciate the kind words.
A well deserved RR. This is flash done exactly right, paring the moment down to its essence. That feeling like you are falling when you recognize them, falling in love all over again. You capture a moment of pure emotion with no wasted words. Nicely done.
Been right there before. Beautifully said.
thank you for reading and commenting :)
This sad but beautiful. So much said in so few words. I really liked it. Congrats on the RR. xo
Thank you k! I'm so glad you liked it. ?
This is beautiful in a sad way. So much said in so few words. The loss the memory engraved in your heart forever. A smell, a place, a certain look and you are back their again. I have not read much of your work but a good friend tells me I would love it. Will be checking out some more. Thank you for sharing your words.
Thank you so much for the kind review. Im flattered to hear that someone has recommended my stories to you. ?
glad i took you up on your offer ;) this was laconic in the best sense of the word! you did a tremendous job of catching such a fleeting moment and the aftermath that ensued. wonderful work :)
thank you so much honey! And thank you for leaving your mesmerizing avatar here on my story. Kindly never change it. Thank you ??
OMFG! The first love of my life lived across the street from an Arby's roast beef restaurant on 13th street in Gainesville, FL. USA. Something like 50 years after she ripped my heart out I still can't pass an Arby's without feeling a twinge of that pain.
Those pesky, magnificent few never leave us. I'm humbled that my piece connected you back to her. Thank you Seax
It is amazing how a smell can trigger so much and unlock so many memories even before we know they are even there. Amazing.
Thank you punky! So glad you read this
The permanence of memory, and the haunting impact of the wistful ones that touch our soul in such unshakable ways. This was pure, great writing, distilled down to the the very essence of the experience. Thanks for the signature link that led me to it.
Thank you Bethany! I see you in the forums all the time, but this was definitely my favorite place to find your pretty smile. I really appreciate the read and the comments.
Unknown User
Oh get out. 298 words. 298! You genius! This is beautiful, and love the turn. Quite impressive for such a short workl! Might encourage me to post my shorter 'feels finished but seems too short' story. Love it. Congratulations on the RR, E. Glad I stumbled across this and cannot wait to read some more from you. Thanks for sharing. Sinner xx
What a kind comment. Thank you so much, sinner. And please do share your 'seems too shorts!'
Written like a surgical strike, a perfectly crafted piece of flash, without a wasted word. I love how the memories come flooding back, and how the wintergreen gum haunts him, and how he has been sitting and drinking and processing ever since the meeting. "She walked away" followed by "but here you still are" is just lovely. Not that this should be part of your story, but just wondering - did she recognize him?
Damn, verbal. That comment made me want to reach through the screen and give you a big man hug! Thank you so much for saying all you said. And to answer your question - no. She would be taken aback that any of this happened. At least, I hope so...;)
Fantastic writing. Excellent!
Beautifully written and such an exemplary short--perfect.
Especially coming from a writer of your talent, 'perfect' is an amazing word to find under my story. Thank you so much.
Hauntingly beautiful. You had me there. Excellent piece xx
I think we have all felt these emotions that you so beautifully put into words. This was a gorgeous yet haunting piece. I could feel the longing ache throughout.
Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement, Lilly.
This is more a poem than a story. It certainly felt like one to me. There was a depth to it, a longing rather than sexuality. Really beautiful work
Thank you Milik, I couldn't have ordered up a better review ;)
Just a passing resemblance, a smell, a song, it is amazing how things can bring back memories. Sometimes in such clear, painful focus that is hurts all over again. Short but it made me think and remember. Thankfully today they were good memories. That is a good thing and I thank you for that.
I'm glad I could help you remember something pleasant :). Thanks for reading, Gillian.
wow! What a wonderful read! I felt the emotion and each remembrance. Its amazing how memories can come flooding back to you to where everything is felt, tasted, and so much more. Thanks for sharing
Thank you so much for the kind review!