The dance was held at the campus cafeteria, and for the most part, it was a pretty lame event. There was hardly anyone there when we arrived and it never got much better. Being university aged guys, the key mission on any given night was to try to meet girls, and this event didn't seem to offer much promise. There was one girl there that knew I could pick up, but it wouldn't have been a good idea. We had hooked up a few times the previous semester and it was clear that we weren't on the same page as to what those hook-ups meant.
Her name was Lisa, and while she was fun, I just wasn't interested in a steady relationship, or to be completely honest, at least not one with her. She was funny and in bed she was happily willing to do whatever I wanted. The catch was that I was only mildly attracted to her unless drink and my cock got the better of me. When my cock called the shots, I was particularly charmed by her willingness to sleep with me. She however, saw our pairings more as the beginning of a budding relationship.
I tried sending her the same signals that girls often effectively sent to me when they weren't interested. I tried not returning calls and I tried to ditch her whenever she’d track me down. I guess there’s one critical element of their dissuasion that I kept leaving out: Every so often I still slept with her. When she started introducing me as her boyfriend though, I realized that I’d have to do something more drastic to end things. Over the holidays I resolved that I’d have to let her know that we were breaking up. I’d never really broken up with anyone before. I felt bad about having to it, but I was also a little annoyed to be put in this position by a girl who I never really considered to be my girlfriend.
Eventually she came over to join my friends and I at the dance. She was friendly as always, but I tried to give her a cool reception which went completely unnoticed. In exclusionary tones I talked about how my friends and I were probably going to leave and go somewhere else. Undiscouraged though, she’d responded with remarks like, “Where are we going to go?” and “When are we leaving?”
Not wanting to deal with an evening ending break up on a night out, I opted to continue with my futile plans of escape. In the meantime I took Lisa’s arrival as my cue to head downstairs and use the washroom as a sort of short term getaway.
As I headed down the lower hallway towards the washrooms, there was a cute girl that I didn't recognize heading back the other way.
After a few drinks I can be a little bold, and I held out my hand as she was about to pass and said, “Hi! Sorry, but you are just so beautiful, I just wanted to say hello.”
While my approach was hardy original or clever, like so much in life, rewards don’t go looking for the most deserving, so much as end up with those who reach out to grab them.
She did stop to talk and for the most part I continued with my complimentary assault. Though at first she seemed a little wary of my routine, I felt a promising seed had been planted. One question in my mind was whether or not she would be staying around at this dance. Since my friends and I were thinking of leaving I was wondering if it was time to reevaluate our plans.
“Are you going to be sticking around here very long tonight?” I asked.
“I think so,” she replied. “I’m actually just here visiting, but as far as I know this is it for the night.”
“That’s good. Then maybe I should let you get back upstairs to your friends since you’re not going anywhere, at least for now,” I said. “Hopefully we’ll bump into each other again upstairs.”
“I think you’re right,” she agreed. We’d actually spent a fair amount a time talking just outside the washrooms.
I did see her upstairs, but we never really got around to talking up there. We didn’t speak again until I bumped into her on another trip to the washroom. By this time I was a little drunker and ready to be even more forward. I invited her to leave with me and go back to my place.
“Sorry, I can’t,” she said.
Undeterred, I painted a loopy, picture of allusions and innuendo designed to show her how much I wanted her and how much she would enjoy the night.
She was firm though. Tonight would be impossible. Then she added, “There’s a party tomorrow that I’m going to. I just can’t tonight, but if you want to meet up at the party, maybe then we could see about making plans.”
“That sounds great,” I said, “but I still want you tonight too.”
“I can’t tonight, but I’ll be at a party tomorrow. It’s on Emerson.”
“Emerson!” I said. “My friend and his roommates are on Emerson and they’re having a party tomorrow. I bet we’re going to the same party.”
“What’s your fiend’s name?” she asked.
“Pete,” I told her.
“He’s one of my brother’s roommates,” she said. “That’s why I can’t go with you tonight. I don’t want my brother to know. I’m staying at his place tonight, but since so many people might be crashing there, tomorrow I’m actually staying with a couple of his friends.”
“So you must be Dan’s little sister. Hmmm, if you don’t want him to know, don’t you think he’ll find out if you don’t actually stay with his friends?”
“It’s been taken care of. Maybe you know them, they seem to know you. I’m supposed to be staying with Annie and Steph and they said they would cover for me.”
I did know them and I was wondering how much they knew about Tori’s plans.
“Do they know what you’ll be up to instead?” I asked.
“Of course and I had to ask them about you too,” she said with a smile.
“Uh-oh!” I said with trepidation.
“Don’t worry, they didn't say anything bad.”
Then she added, “I probably shouldn't tell you this, but they actually gave you a good recommendation.”
“Really!” I said with surprise. “What did they say?”
“I can’t tell you that,” she said. “I shouldn't have even said as much as I did.”
I pressed and pressed, but Tori wouldn't tell me anymore. I didn't know how Annie and Steph could have come up with any recommendation, since I’d never been with either of them.
I liked hearing it though. Since I didn't think my name and number was being written on the walls of bathroom stalls, I assumed I was either getting some good word of mouth or that some of my wishful self-promotion was paying off. What could I do but look forward to the party?
After that a couple of friends and I left for the school bar, where I was tracked down by the girl I’d been seeing. I guess I’d have to sleep her one more time. I’m so weak.
At the party the next night Tori looked great. She looked even better than the night before, but I might have been influence by the knowledge of what we’d be doing later. Despite our plans though, we didn't really spend all that much time together at the party. We’d bump into each other intermittently over the night, briefly talk and flirt about our plans for later, but not much more. It was all part of what was our secret.
I did manage to learn that she just started CEGEP back in Montreal. CEGEP is a junior college system unique to the Province of Quebec that some students take after high school on their way to either university or on to the job market. Under this system, high school in Quebec finishes at least a year earlier than most other jurisdictions. Thought Tori wouldn't say at first I guessed that Tori could have been as young as sixteen, while I was twenty-two at the time. As I get older, what makes for a significant age difference always seems to be expanding, but in my early twenties a four to six year gap seemed huge.
Meanwhile, the girl that I’d be seeing was also at the party and I knew that I have to deal with her if I was going to take Tori back to my place. The moment came after she introduced me once again as her boyfriend. It was the the catalyst I needed ask her outside to talk.
I used all the key clichés that sounded so useless when I’d heard them directed towards me: “It’s not you, it’s me"; "I just like you more as a friend"; "I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing"; etcetera, etcetera...
With the deed done, I was looking forward to release from the stress of having to execute a breakup. The only problem was, the more the night wore on, the guiltier I was feeling. I was feeling more and more like a shit for fucking a nice, though somewhat clueless girl one night and then dumping her the day after, so I could secretly screw a friend's little sister. It really does kinda sound bad.
This wouldn't be the first time I did something shitty to Dan either. Once my friend Pete and I were back at their place having a few more beers after the bar closed, when Dan and few others that we knew came back to the house too. One of them was a girl I’d been with before, who just happened to be one of the best fucks I’d ever had. No sooner had she sat beside me on the couch than we were talking about going back to my place.
It turned out Dan considered her to be his girlfriend and he was pretty upset. When she and I were back at my place, she told me that not only had her and Den never been together, but she didn't even realize that he was interested in her. In retrospect, Dan had an even more expansive view of what constituted a relationship than the girl that I had just dumped.
I’m generally a pretty happy drunk, but I think the circumstance and the alcohol were combing to make me feel a little morose and circumspect.
As the party was winding down, Tori found me and wrapped her arms around me.
“So when do you want to go?” she asked.
“Tori, I don’t think I can do it,” I said.
“What?” she asked incredulously.
“Look, I’m just feeling too shitty,” I said. “I know you didn't know this, but I just broke up with someone tonight and your brother’s a friend. I don’t think I want to do this behind his back."
Tori was more upset than I thought she would be. In fact, the girl I broke up with earlier in the night had taken things better. Tori was young and her reaction was really underscoring the fact. It was almost like a tantrum. It was as if I was making her go to bed before she wanted to when the opposite was true: I wasn't trying to make her go to bed at all.
“I’m really sorry, Tori. Your brother’s a nice guy and he’s already mad at me for stealing a girl he liked. I hang out here a lot and I don’t want things to awkward with him.”
“I don’t care about Dan,” she pouted. “I can do what I want!”
“That’s fine” I said, “but I care and I don’t want to upset him.”
“I promise!” she said. “He’ll never find out. Please, I’ll do anything you want!”
This last comment made my dick twitch and in offset my resolve began to soften. Her desperation seemed a little unhinged and I found that I liked it.
“You’ll do anything?” I asked as I wavered.
“Yes! Please, please,” she pleaded.
There was a school playground across the street, I pointing to it and asked, “Would you like to go over there and suck my cock for me?”
“Alright,” she said. Then she added, “After, will we go to your place?"
“If we go to my place, you promise that you’ll do whatever I want, right?” I asked to confirm.
“I promise,” She said.
“No matter what it is I want to do you’re going to do it?”
“Yes.”
“You say that now, but what if I ask you to do something you don’t want to do? Are going to keep your promise?”
“Yes,” She said again.
“Don’t just say yes,” I said.